WARNING/GUARANTEE: UNEDITED STREAM O’ “CONSCIOUSNESS” RANT ALERT! WARNING!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

My boss and I were chatting today, and I started talking about hearing on the radio that “American Idol” is not only the ..1, but ..2 show on television this week. As I don’t imbibe, I’m not sure how that works, but whatever. Now, I’ve seen this book-reader’s nightmare- seen it from the perspective of being a musician (a shitty one, but one nonetheless- I’m a better producer). Anyway, the gist is that while some of these folks have some pretty good voices, they are horrid performers and worse: THEY ARE FUCKING SOUL-LESS MONEY-POLE-SMOKING SELLOUTS. Yeah I made that shit up and it doesn’t quite make sense. Try to kick my ass.

Anyway, so I start getting this warm feeling- rising. Not the kind when you come across the object du jour (Sophie Marceau always comes to mind…)- but white-hot, Earth-scorching fury. See, the conversation above had gotten started over what I’d done last night, and the guys I work for/with OHM: (www.chrispoland.com and yes, that Chris Poland) and I were supposed to be working on their third release. Chris phoned me, calling (canceling) the recording session. Their drummer, Kofi Baker (son of Ginger), couldn’t make it because his car probably couldn’t handle driving up the 5 freeway north to our studio.

WTF does this have to do with “American Idol”? “Oh! You were finished! Well, allow me to retort!”- these teeny and twentysomethings while talented in some cases, are responsible at the very least to a degree and by way of condoning some of the mediocrity we are saddled with daily. That means: malls, radio, products made of petroleum, veneer, advertising, Brittney (I always get slagged for spelling “her” name incorrectly…) Spears, Pat Robertson, Celine Dion, Danielle Steele, Taco Bell, Karl Rove, and etc. are supported in part by what this show and it’s minions symbolize, engender, and perpetuate. My loquacious ruminating aside, people’s careers- despite inability to sing consistently, on key, write their own songs, dearth of something relevant to communicate- are often made on this sort of a show. One more thing before I really get to the point…

OHM:. These guys are fucking amazing. Before I began to work with/for them, I was a fan. I’d stopped going to clubs as much not because I’m old and infirmed, but because much of the LA music “scene” blows, and there’s not a whole lot of bands truly worth seeing. OHM: is a huge exception. There may be at best a handful of guys that can play guitar, bass, and/or drums better alive- possibly ever. That’s different than having a real “band” though. These guys, on top of being some of the best players ever, are truly the best unit on the planet- and I listen to a lot, of stuff. Their songs, though challenging on every level (phrasing, time, changes, sounds, arrangements, melodically) are truly songs. They rock, and they have softer, sweeter tunes. Most importantly, above and beyond all else, their thoughts, feelings, and experiences are palpable in the songs as a whole, melodies, and solos.

So here we have an industry that has more than just a responsibility to entertain, but to help us make sense of ourselves, our lives, our existential concerns. An industry that ostensibly gives us something to relate to. I don’t mean to imply that all music should do all of the above. What I’m getting at though, is that they (American Idols) aren’t even that entertaining, and guys like the crew I work for are not only maintaining integrity in the way I’ve described, but struggle in their lives to make that integrity possible. All these cats have day jobs. They support their families and maintain this integrity.

Why isn’t someone picking these guys up? It’s sort of a rhetorical question. This is music you have to be with. Music you have to truly involve yourself with. Music you, like the musicians themselves, have to sacrifice for. It’s not Mall Approved. That’s why they aren’t picked up.

This is an industry problem. Bigger yet, it’s a social problem. Bigger yet- it’s a consciousness problem. We’re the ones that have sold out. Not the record companies. They haven’t helped mind you- but it boils down to what we engage in, what we buy, our voting with our pocketbooks. Simon is not a genius, but he’s a bit more honest than the record companies- more honest than the Idols I think. Some of these folks are simply trying to do what they love in a way that’s sustainable, but we, and they, are ignoring the price.

Being a little more paranoid lately (no pun intended)- I had this thought. There's another reason we're never going to have empirical tests to diagnose mental illness.

Here it is: if we did, we'd be able to justify medical necessity and treat people as necessary as opposed to as when someone was deemed "cured" or not sufficiently ill for some Republican WASP-owned insurance company.

Now I'm just ranting. Here's a brief background for the uninitiated. In order for anyone to obtain psychiatric treatment, they require funds to pay for it, that come from private pay, insurance, and/or county/state funds. In order to justify this treatment for anyone, that person needs to meet a convention called "medical necessity". English translation: that person needs to have a severe psychiatric diagnosis.

Currently, there are some measures for indicators, symptoms of these illnesses, but no real empirical, industry standard tests of any kind that are accepted by convention as a diagnostic tool.

This just makes me think about the whole industry in general. The ideas of diagnosing folks (which maybe I'll rant about later), measurements, convention, influence of drug companies, funding sources, peer review and the like. Until there's more money in treatment than there is in insurance, my patients are likely screwed.

Let's start with a quote from the article:

"We wanted to produce a stamp that embodied Ronald Reagan (news - web sites)'s warmth, personality and humanity," James Miller, chairman of the Postal Service board of governors, said in prepared remarks. "This stamp captures the twinkle of his eyes and the charismatic grin that reflected Ronald Reagan's eternal optimism."

I have a few questions.

And that humanity was...?

What exactly was he grinning about?

What of his "legacy" so often touted do we have to be so optimistic about anyway?

Who comes up with this shit? Makes me wonder who might be a suitable replacement for such a thing. Won't bore you with my pics. It does bring to mind though that we have an iconization of most things that matter... I understand why these things occur, why these symbols/people can be important. MLK Jr for instance. Have really been enjoying recently (much to the consternation of Arifuckingzona) his (and Malcolm X') speeches. But, why not a civil rights day? Fuck it... let's just go hog wild and have a "Let's all be civil day." How about that?

On an unrelated note- how about a "Let's all be responsible day." Do what we say, say what we mean. Let's not talk prudence (or freedom, or being unconditional, or...) when practicing evasion (shirking responsibility, avoiding intimacy, or...). Stop expecting stuff you're not willing to be, or do. Christ- stop expecting stuff, then resisting it when you get it. Stop thinking that the answer to you getting what you want is in freedom being gifted to you like fucking manna. Freedom comes from responsibility. Our lives are none of our business. The "universe" doesn't work for us- we work for it.

Reagan didn't work for the universe. Interesting thing this- he had much he needed to forget after his "presidency". I don't believe in karma as most understand it, but it is strange, is it not?

On an even more unrelated note... I'm sad about a lot of stuff. A client leaving our facility, scared to death. Dogs, squirrels, possum, skunk and the like having to be careful when crossing the street and getting smashed. The guy I saw on the corner with a sign that said "Homeless and handicapped. Please help. Love, Mike." My dad being alone. Having patients. Timor, Indonesia, and etc. ad nauseum. People being mean to one of my clients. Enough to sink your ship. Apologies for the blues jam.

You might be saying to your less perspicacious self, "Why is this moron blaming Bush for the deaths of (currently) 40,000 ish people?" (some of you more capitalist and/or Republicrat minded might be saying something like, "Who gives a fuck anyway?"). Well, I don't totally, but here's why I'm poking my finger at him.

It goes like this. Much of the weather changes we're experiencing (I'm speaking globally now) are a result of an increase in greenhouse gases. If you doubt this or think I'm exaggerating, go back to watching reruns of "American Gladiators". Further, the US is responsible for 25won't someone teach me how to italicize in my lame-ass blogs?) of these gases. The man I like to call the Boy King of the Oligarchy (look it up- don't be so lazy) refused to sign the Kyoto protocol (look that up too).

OK. I admit it. I suckered you into this. It was just a great way to scream and cry about these completely horrific losses and my consternation (bordering on pretzel-FedExing homicidality) about this guy's unwillingness to do what he can for these problems in favor of serving the Haves and Have mores. There is a Persian curse that would be perfect for him...

On my way to work today I heard that Gary Webb had shot himself. Gary was the writer of a book called “Dark Alliance: the CIA, the Contras, and the Crack Cocaine Explosion”. This book was written on the coattails of a series of news stories done during the “Reagan Era” and published in the San Jose Mercury news. This guy had found that the Contras were trading in cocaine for money for weapons, all condoned by our own CIA, who was also using… er, working with the Contras. As Carlin says, “If fire fighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?”
I’m not conspiracy theorist enough to think that the CIA had anything to do with this guy’s apparent suicide (though I certainly wouldn’t put it past them). However, it’s a huge tragedy on multiple levels. Gary had been getting death threats for years after the news broke (among other types of blackballing, and everything else that comes with breaking these types of stories in the US). Both the LA and NY Times refused to deal with the story, choosing instead to defend the CIA- even after the second report of the investigations by the CIA itself of these incidents was released and they admitted both knowledge and participation.
It just makes me deeply sad. Truth-telling is such a rare commodity, I’d hate to think the pressures of doing so resulted in this guy leaving a note on his door for his movers “Do not enter- call 911 and ask for an ambulance.” What he did was deeply courageous (among other things)- something we certainly need more of.
We don’t tell each other the truth. We don’t tell ourselves the truth. We don’t take risks any more. We don’t extend ourselves for spiritual growth, for connectedness, but we certainly extend ourselves to obtain things, to hide things about ourselves, to stuff and/or dull our own awarenesses.
Mother Theresa died the same week as Princess Di. Remember who got more attention? Mother T’s death was barely mentioned in the US press. I don’t care that you can make sense of it- I’m not a complete moron. What’s troubling (outside of people rationalizing this fact with me to begin with) is the other obvious part of this story. Will the same happen to Gary? If Cheney dies this week, will there be an NBC (sponsored by General Evil er… Electric) made-for-TeVil movie about how much Haliburton has contributed to our society with Dick at the helm? How about if Brittany Spears dies in a freak gardening accident like one of the drummers from Spinal Tap? Will we erect a statue for her in front of the Lincoln Memorial?
Just writing to find some way to let go of my sadness about this. I think we’re in Big Trouble when it comes to how we communicate- not just in the media, but in all ways. What we communicate about most often is troubling. Just think about it for a moment. How we do so is problematic too- it was rumored that when Confucius was asked what he would do to help society if he could, he said “I’d revamp the language.” Intimating in my sense of things that he doesn’t think we communicate with one another on a common ground. We have email for fuck’s sake, cellout phones, we rarely sit silently at all- but no one would argue that we’re not communicating more meaningfully (I don’t think). Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I should “Never miss a good opportunity to shut up” (thanks for the cowboy wisdom KK). Maybe quantum mechanics is operative here- as Taisen Desimaru noted, imposing our sense of the world on the world, creating what I think. Maybe I should just be silent for Gary, and those like him. But only for a minute.