Coasting Toward Oblivion...
Support the rEvolution...
Mon, May 15, 2006 - 6:40 PM
Please feel free to reply in any way...
Yours for the rEvolution, Agent Red
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How to organize chaos
Insanity creeps up through the nose
Like a healthy vine
Teasing the mind with ancient unknowns
Tempting the soul as another who sees
The vine is now an electric gaze
No peripherals
No memory
Engulfing fair freckled skin
Burning
Warming
Shocking
The crystal blue sockets shine
Unaware of their voltage
When infecting the mouth bitter taste hits unexpectedly
And gives Plato’s prisoner
A twelve-year-old’s tongue
But leaves the body a museum piece
Bronzed despite the cave’s damp black
Insanity leaves nothing untouched
A perfectionist
Fingers searching knots mismatched hands never mended
It’s even a serpent circling the throat
The throat that creates another(s) psychosis
Symptoms:
Trembling
Loss of judgment and concentration
The snake bites tan skin
injecting scorpio venom
constant, omnipotent
you will beg like a dog
roar like a lion
cry like an infant
fight like a soldier
insanity enlightens where reason crumbles
order in chaos
the ultimate high
purpose achieved by few
those brilliant enough to understand it
but crazy enough to accept it
Mon, May 15, 2006 - 6:40 PM -
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25 Comments
25 Comments |
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Mon, May 15, 2006 - 8:14 PM
yikes! that's all I can say.... I don't want to see anyone in our community go down into adiction like that.
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Mon, May 15, 2006 - 8:16 PM
addiction
i have and still do battle with addiction in one form or another. my heart goes out to you for relaying this positive message to the collective. niiiiiiiiiice work sista.
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Mon, May 15, 2006 - 8:40 PM
sigh
I, too, have a personal experience with the substance. I, too, recently have become alarmed anew by the level it is reaching in our commmunity. I hear that it is reaching a epidemic level nationally. It IS super super addictive. 6 percent of people that become addicted recover. Let me say that again. 6 percent of people that become addicted recover. As compared to 50% of heroin addicts.
Shiza. |
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Mon, May 15, 2006 - 10:34 PM
Wow.. intensely written.. raw & intimate... I'm pretty chemically naive, but have walked with many on their journey of experience & healing. I agree.. I don't want to lose the beautiful creative people I love to addiction.
Thanks for bringing this to the forefront, AR. |
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Mon, May 15, 2006 - 11:07 PM
Preachin to the choir...
alabama one of the worst states in the country for meth labs from my understanding.... I went to high school in the county that was the worst county in the state for drug crimes commited, and held the state record for number of meth lab busts done.
I watched enough people ruin their lives on coke and meth before i got out of high school. I got to the point with my community in LA where i can barely hang around a party if it feels as though quite a few people are crack crackity crack cracked out. |
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 10:19 AM
So what are we going to do about it?
Do interventions really work? Any other ideas for action?
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 11:34 AM
I speak from own experience.. I was addicted for 2 years...I was 18 and a tweeker!!! INSANE I went.. I havent touched it in10 years. WOW it has been a while..How did I break free.. Well I hit rock bottom.. EW the most I was up for was 7 days.. SO gross.. Finally my last run I met my first love and shit my future husband... They convinced me some how to kick my friend the tweekwer at the time outta my house.. I NEVER saw those people again. I told my folks.. I fell in love thats what broke my cylcle.. I will never ever do it again and it makes me sad to know how strong it is still..
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 12:17 PM
Peachezz,
Thank you for bringin this conversation into the light. It honestly blows my mind that there are some very very intelligent people doing some pretty silly shit. Your prose is powerful and I too am left with the question. What do we do about it? Does intervention work? Is rock bottom the only answer? Or can we facilitate the change with velocity? Wow, my day is going to have a whole different angle. Love you and how you do...for everyone. |
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Unsu...
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 4:05 PM
perhaps a way to make the addict realize is to show them pictures of themselves from 6-12 months ago and show how they've dramatically death-spiraled in appearance. i have found that juxtaposition to be the most alarming. seriously, look at some of the tribe pics of some of our friends that are meth heads, and compare them with what they look like now. it ain't pretty. if i was a meth head perhaps that would would work. but of course i'm not a professional on either side of the coin, user or counselor. so i don't really know.
i would say definitely call them on it, firmly but with love and compassion, and be waiting for the evasiveness and excuses, armed with concrete examples of how they're fucking their lives up. |
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Unsu...
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 4:50 PM
and for what it's worth...
i offer this true story of a pathetic speed meltdown.
people.tribe.net/tommybigf...31f61ef304 |
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Unsu...
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 5:53 PM
Wow!! I didn't even know that people were using meth in the burner community...Niave...maybe...just didn't know it was an issue.
I offer my prayers for those open to healing and desiring it. It is only a lack within oneself a "unhappyness" that sends one searching outside of themselves to find it. Meth, drugs, etc. I pray for those beings to find complete and total perfection within themselves and for the full recognition of their Divine nature. As to an intervention. If you can do it in an empowered way totally honoring the extraodinaryness of the other. What has worked for you in overcoming something. I always find that when the person is ready only then will the shift occur. And might i offer that there is absolytly nothing wrong. |
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Tue, May 16, 2006 - 9:38 PM
whoa
whoa........i too was a tweeker. I got serioulsy addicted to meth when i was 13, it stuck around for 3 years until i started to have constant hallucinations of murder all day and night, lost all feeling in my feet and developed a few extra voices in my head. even though, i'm happy that i got that over with then, when one overcomes this drug, she or he gains immense tools upon the belt to navigate through life with. It was like, i really really wanted to be clean but that longing became buried somehow beneath this entity of speed. I truly think it is evil and devours beautiful souls like hungry vampires, convincing the user of its dillusioal paradise, until the paradise vanishes and the claw remains tight.
i've suspected that speed is lurking around in the crowd, and keep hearing of it's presence. It's utterly sad because this drug is no medicine and offers no healing for anyone. It's sole purpose is destruction with no rebuilding mechanism. Intervention, sure....it's worth a shot, but truly, the longing for ones soul to bloom again must sing loud enough to interfere with the speeds agenda. there's pictures on the internet of meth users teeth and skin.....yikes.....that could certainly persue someone towards the light again. support the revolution we must be awake to heal alive to feel |
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 12:55 AM
ooops there was more than just wow
Ok I meant to say more than that. I have had my own personal experiences with tweek, my x-husband lost his soul over it , 8 years later, he's still in denial. what the fuck WAKE UP, I AINT WORTH IT. I hate it, It burrounds me on a daily how many people I love so much are addicted, and consumed by this drug, the problem is the real addicts are in such major denial, they wont even admt to it. I can't even tell if they are lieing anymore, you cannot reach them they are blind.. Intervention!! I wish it would make a difference, but i feel helpless. what can we do? TELL ME. I want an answer, so we can stop this epidemic, when the addict starts telling you they dont have a problem RED FLAG, I agree with Tommmy look at a picture of yourself 6-8 months ago. It's sad, skin is grey, smiles are gone, souls are lost, reason has gone out the window, there is no right and wrong, the drug is more powerful than they will ever admit. I wanna make a difference. I can see we all do, but sadly I beleive that the choice has to be made by the individual, what is their rock bottom, some wouldn't know if it hit them in the head, functioning addicts, there is no rock bottom, so back to square one. WHAT CAN WE DO? I WANNA HELP, BUT THEY GOTTA WANT IT TOO....BOTTOM LINE. Any other solutions, I'm down to do my part and not let this drug ruin more lives, make beautiful people angry and ugly. Eat well, sleep well and drink coffee., and soon your creativity will blooson and you will see the light, the endorphins will be there naturally, don't you worry. So who's in. I will cook, and support anyone who wants help.
much love ~mary |
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 9:31 AM
What we can do...
In my own experience, I can say that what I believe is the most effective and only real way we can support those around me is not through interventions but rather pointed and direct and honest communication on an individual basis with anyone that we have concerns about. Also important is that if we are having these concerns we must not be using at all in order that we may be the change that we want to see first. Then anyone at all that is concerned about anyone else must have a loving conversation that says I care about you and here is what I am seeing in your life and this is why it concerns me and I am here for you. Group interventions (again in my own experience) only serve to make the person feel attacked, whereas a series of pointed loving communications will give the person something to think about. My 2 cents for what it is worth.
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 10:53 AM
I also believe that interventions are not the way to go unless the person you are approaching has a willingness and desire to actually quit. If they don't, then there's just going to be a lot of heartache. People quit substances on their own time and unfortunately for some that takes way too long. I am no expert, but I believe that education might be the key. Education of the realities of what is happening.
I vow to NEVER put anything in my nose. Ever. Except my finger. |
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 11:06 AM
Yeah... I have seen way too many times where people have tried to intervene and the addict has bailed toward people who support the addiction.....
The person has to be ready to hear it, straight and simple.... the other thing to be careful of is enabling behavior.... My understanding of what has always worked for me in such situations is being very very clear on what can be done to help the person without supporting the habit, and not pushing them away... Very difficult thing to do.... |
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 11:34 AM
in response to marsi
I have done the real and honest, concerned, non judgemental thingy on many friends, aqauintances etc... I can only hope one ounce of my words sunk in and they will reflect and find thier way to the light . Interventions are very harsh and people feell attacked and go immdiatley to being defensive, I dont want that. These people need support not judgement. I wil continue my journey as much as I can to help in the most positive way possible, If we all work on this issue as a acommunity, great things may happen. I remain confident love and commnicatio can resolve anything. thanx for all your input, I'm so happy we are having this communication. muck love
~mary |
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Wed, May 17, 2006 - 8:38 PM
I wish
I didn't have to keep having this conversation, but here we are. I too have been increasingly alarmed and concerned by how many people in my LA family have convinced themselves that they "need" this drug in order to "get everything done". I have had many private conversations with both those whom I am most concerned about and those who I rely upon for personal support. What I have decided for myself is that the only thing I can really do is let my friends know that I am concerned about them; love and take care of myself and show, through example, how to find time for artistic creation, playtime and REST.
I have also been making a concerted effort to reach out to those friends that are also making good choices for themselves so that we can support eachother and show solidarity. much love, bunny |
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Thu, May 18, 2006 - 11:42 AM
Thank Agent Red for being brave eough to start this conversation. We have made the most powerful step of all: we are talking about it. keep talking, expressing, loving, and supporting. If we have any hope of seeing this rEvolution through, we need to take care of our bodies, souls, and eachother. We are warriors and our our weapons are our minds and hearts. Take care of them.
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Fri, May 19, 2006 - 10:13 AM
That's funny...
You're the FIFTH girl I know to say these exact words unprompted to me (or kind of to me through your blog) within a week... I also feel like the slightly naive one because I've not done the stuff and I don't notice it as much... But if five people can have the exact same thought with no connection and feel strong enough to voice it to me all within the same week... Makes me wonder what to do, too?
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Fri, May 19, 2006 - 4:02 PM
Thanks!
I'm really glad I found this blog - this subject has been weighing on me as well. I too have a past with this substance and had to make the choice: to make art & finish art school or be a tweeker but it couldn't be both.- With a few binges and an over dose on the shit under my belt the choice was obvious - not easy all the time - but obvious, and I got out while I was still young with a lot of time to make up for my cock ups.
My brother did not make this choice, he fell down the meth hole. I was at my grandfathers funeral and a man walks through the front door I didn't recognize, I turn to ask my oldest brother who he is....it was my own brother - I didn't know him at all - my own fuckin brother. 3 months later I buried him. Here is my take on meth and it's a pretty hard lined one so sorry if this sounds harsh - If you are justifying it to stay awake to finish a project - you are full of shit. If you have passion & commitment to a project it will get done and with a hell of a lot more love and sanity. I have pulled off amazing art installations and perfommances with out the use of crystal. Stop making excuses and start making some deication to your craft. If you need meth to finish a frickin' project - your a pussy. There are so many lovely beautiful people in this community - meth makes your skin look like shit - it is not glamorous - it's about as trailer white trash as you can get - and none wants to see your ass hanging out of a pair of booty shorts covered in zits - not pretty sweetie. Look - I know this sounds a bit intense and not so lovey dovey as the above posts - but it broke my heart to come to the realization that this drug was on my back door and being used by people i really love. I thought this community was better than this and I never thought I would be around this drug again. I have many other frineds who I have had to see through some really dark times including harsh detox and rehab as well as times in jail...it's ugly, it's very jerry Springer. I agree with Marsi - the best way to go is to sit down and have an open and honest conversation and I encourage everyone on this topic that if you've had a battle with this one have a no tolerance rule for this drug around you. I hope this coversation helps - thanks agent red for being so brave as to bring this up! |
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Thu, June 1, 2006 - 11:56 PM
thanks so much for the dialogue
I too have much to say about this substance. Part of the reason I left Colorado and moved to LA a few years ago was because it was so prevalent in the scene of boredom in the mountains. Then I watched as the man I loved brought it into our home and began a love affair with it that took his drive, sanity, reason, & love from our lives. I wanted to be with him and so I started to do it with him sometimes. I never liked it and we eventually split. Yet, I continued to do it on occasion. I then made a commitment to never touch it again, after 7 dry months, it casually re-entered my life. I have an interesting take on it, I don't feel that it is personally addictive, but sadly it is a deceitful substance. It is draining and takes away ones warmth. It makes your teeth hurt and your eyes ache, it takes away your laughter. Think of a time when people you know have laughed and loved on speed, maybe fucked, but not loved. I am sad to see it infiltrate so many beautiful people. Think of it this way, Hitler was a speed addict and our government uses it to keep the troops awake. The bad guys are interested in taking away your passionate natural existence, it puts them in a postition to win more souls. Love yourself, take a moment, look in the mirror, remember feeling beautiful. Thank you Sara for writing about this!
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Sun, July 9, 2006 - 2:08 PM
A SCANNER DARKLY
GO SEE THIS MOVIE
This is based on a Philip K. Dick Novel, Philip was a meth addict. AMAZING movie about so much, it will blow you away and make any users think twice about there substance of choice. |
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Tue, April 8, 2008 - 1:11 PM
Relating
Agent., you rock for putting this forward. Having lived in downtown LA among the art underground, I saw a LOT of this abuse going on in the comminity as well as others. I watched the bums and their crack addictions. I have managed to stay away from all this because I did all my hard core drugging in High School.I was down the rabbit hole with acid and mushrooms and Ex, which were all so fun, but then all my drug friends started doing Crystal. My high school sweetheart drifted away. My best friend went insane and ran off with drug lords to Missouri and came back pregnant. I haven't talked to her since. That was in Colorado in high school. So meth is rampant all over the country. I don't really know what to do about it. But I am on the bandwagon of speaking up.
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