My fabulous wife!

What can I say without being gay? I'd still marrying you. Red is one of the most intelligent, smartest women in the world that can fall off a drum.

Seriously, she's sober...........wait, maybe not.

She's serious...........well...........no, not that either.

But she will make you laugh with all of your heart!

Mwwwaahahaha!

If you ever find yourself wet and far from your tent at the Pennsic War...and it's raining out...and you're drunk...and you've peed yourself from laughter (or general incontinence)...DEFINITELY take the time to entwine your butt hairs with Red's! No really, this is a MUST DO at War. I speak from experience.

If you don't trust what I am saying I totally understand. I cavort with known criminals...like Red. And I have been wont to embellish...a tad...like Red. But what is a little theft and story telling amongst friends...like Red? It's A FRIKIN' SCREAM!!!

I love this girl madly (not gay).

So, once uppon a time there was this girl named RED... no shit rea.lllly. ok, so she was kinda redish, but anyway, she wsas kinda cool, but still.. (oh yeah, spelling is optional right??? i mean really, you're not going to grade this right???) ok, F it, anyway... so ROUGE, as i like to call her... caus i can, cause i'm special in a short buss kind ao fwy... so , theere we were, no sh!T really!!! oh, where was I???? Oh, to hell with it., let it be said, and let it be known@!!!! KNOW THIS MY PEOPLE!!! RED IS NOT JUST A COLOR ANYMORE!!!!!!

and that's all i have to say. F YOU if you don't get it!

I could run out of words to describe how totally awesome and how beautiful Red is......she can always bring a smile to my face and make me almost pee myself with her sense of humor....you are beautiful honey...LOVE YA!!!

There is probably no one on the planet with whom I've laughed as much, and almost no one who can make me laugh as hard as the Ravishing Red O'Malley.
Thanks for being my friend and soul sister. You f'ing ROCK, Doll-head!!
lovin' you...
Mart