Bloggishness!!! [...mainly Friends Only]
In Shock
Fri, October 16, 2009 - 5:21 PM
Rarely have I felt this taken by surprise and rattled. Upset. Saddened. The family of my old best friend from college days just sent word that he was murdered in an apparently random act of violence. Here are the details:
www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi
Dismaying! Whoever would harm Eric, kind and inoffensive as he was? The guy who committed this craven and cowardly act must have been mentally ill or mistook Eric for someone else, or both. This is just awful and I am filled with grief and outrage. Eric was a total prince.
Eric's mom says there will be a memorial service on Saturday the 24th.
Just so this awful news is doubly-fucked, on Saturday the 24th I am scheduled to be en route somewhere in Canada between Alaska and Oregon driving my sister-in-law (sort of, if my partner and I were not prohibited from marriage then she'd be my sister-in-law) down the AlCan Highway in a truck filled with her dogs and cat.
I want to drop everything and fly down to SF to be there for the family--especially for his mom, wife, and little kiddo--but promised my sister-in-law I'd drive with her down the AlCan (for safety, since it is getting into winter now) and she is depending on me for this. Crap. Double crap. How do you figure out what to do in such a situation, especially when you are so in shock that your brain is not working?
Fri, October 16, 2009 - 5:21 PM -
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12 Comments
12 Comments |
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Fri, October 16, 2009 - 5:32 PM
Oh, Steven.
Whoa.
I am so sorry...and on the verge of speechless. I feel your shock. I'll try to focus on your question. Is it at all possible for someone else to go with your sister in law? Or for her to postpone for a few days, so that you can fly down here and be with the family? I hope someone will step up so that you can do what you need to do right now. So very sorry for all the dear ones...what a nightmare. So senseless... ((((((((((((you))))))))))))) |
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Fri, October 16, 2009 - 5:50 PM
Aw, frack! I wish there were something I could do to help... But even if I had access to the Pacific Coast, I'm moving in two weeks so *I'd* be double-booked.
What a world, what a world... |
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Sat, October 17, 2009 - 9:09 AM
oh, so sorry.....major hugs to you and their family as well. :(
I'm with Denisey....see if there is any possibility for postponement or substitution...I would imagine she would wholeheartedly understand you personally wouldn't be there, but would just need a companion down the AlCan. Much love. |
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Mon, October 19, 2009 - 1:12 AM
Thanks, folks. Input much appreciated. I had dinner with her and laid it out, offering to fly them all down there and ship the truck by sea in lieu of me driving the AlCan (which I genuinely would have enjoyed). My sis-in-(sort-of)-law says she understands, supports me being there for Eric's family, and will either fly with critters or have another fellow drive with her down the AlCan Highway -and promises she will not go alone. I am not yet sure what is happening with those travel logistics but we will get it sorted out. Eric's mom wrote saying she wants me to stay at the house together with the family while in SF for the memorial, which is very moving. I am flying down to SF and will be there for the memorial and will reconnect with his family; it has been years. If all goes well then I hope my friend's wife and widow understand we are fully there for them and will call upon us. His daughter is my daughter; when the time comes if his girl wants to attend college in Hawaii then the portal stands open and ready. In truth I am at a loss to understand how this could be happening. Think of the kindest, most pleasant, inoffensive, good person you know. This was Eric. While he is unloading the truck from a camping trip in front of his house for some random stranger to walk up, stab him in the chest, and then run away without a word spoken or taking a wallet --for no apparent reason-- is deeply disturbing. Eric was not a statistic ("39th murder victim in SF in 2009") but rather a fine fellow, good friend, good husband & father. Something is broken in the world. |
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Mon, October 19, 2009 - 1:48 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{{ Steven }}}}}}}}}}}}
Good.
Good to know things are getting worked out. Good to know you'll be able to be where your heart needs you to be. Good. Some good has to come from this horrific situation. I believe there is beauty to found in all things, even in the darkest, ugliest parts of life...there are sparks of beauty. Aloha. |
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Mon, October 19, 2009 - 4:12 PM
I'm so sorry.
I don't have any words of advice. Just a big hug. |
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Mon, October 19, 2009 - 4:16 PM
Thanks, all. www.sfexaminer.com/local/cr...8192.html Update with a (rather awful) photo. |
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Mon, October 19, 2009 - 4:25 PM
BTW, the only explanation which has been offered so far which has any sort of twisted logic to it is this murder may have been the outcome of a pathetic gang initiation ritual; damned cowardly and craven, if so. Apparently there actually is a gang in California which requires prospective members to kill someone in order to be admitted, but if walking up to a friendly skinny fellow like Eric and stabbing him in the heart in a surprise attack committed in front of his house while he is unloading gear from a camping trip "counts" as fulfilling a gang initiation requirement, then I'd think that particular gang would be reviled, ridiculed and despised as "the spineless coward gang" by all of the other gangs. Or should be. |
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Wed, October 21, 2009 - 6:36 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend! I know it will be a mixed blessing to be able to be with his family in their mourning. Godspeed.
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Sat, October 24, 2009 - 3:32 AM
In SF. Eric's mom telephoned me this evening, saying a detective from SFPD had just called with news: a man (Pacific Islander, not Hipanic) has been arrested with near 100% certainty of being the person who murdered Eric. The person arrested is insane. Memorial service and wake tomorrow. |