Its the final countdown. John and I are going shopping today for school supplies. Me, Im getting school supplies. That just sounds so weird to me. I cant believe Im going back to school. MONDAY.

I had a panic attack Wednesday thinking about it, It was the strangest thing, we were sitting there watching tv and a preview for Rescue Me came on for next Tuesdays episode and all the sudden tears were rolling down my face and I was thinking to myself, Ill have 2 classes under my belt by then, I couldnt breathe, and I asked John for a glass of water. He came back water in hand to say, dont worry baby, I got your back. No matter what happens, if you fail, at least you tried, but your not going too, youll be great. so no matter what happens, Ive got you. He took one look at me and knew why I was flippin. I hope for all of you that someones got your back, like he has mine. I couldnt have made it this far without him, and I couldnt be doing this without his support, I thank god every fuckin day for that wonderful man, I feel we are the luckiest people in the world.

This morning as he made his way across the bedroom he looks back at me at the foot of the loft stairs and said out of the blue, this has been the best four years of my life Amanda, you are an awesome chick, your hot, your funny, you take great care of me, did I mention your beautiful? Im a lucky guy! I couldnt agree more!

So Monday morning, sweaty palms and all, Ill be entering my first college class in 5 years! I hope they dont ask our age. I hope theres someone in there older than me. Im so freakin nervous. I had a nightmare last night, I was with my brother in my home town, and we were signing up for classes at the high school, I couldnt figure out where to sign my name or something, and then I started to think to myself, its because you dont belong here, you need to go to the university!
Wild.