joined on 09/08/06
last updated 09/11/12
October 19, 2012
Aunt Bea is one of the sweetest women in the whole wide world. She used to baby sit me when my parents would go to society events with "Doogi" Harriman Kennedy and "Rory" Elizabeth Katherine Kennedy. I remember one time Aunt Bea fell on me drunk, again, when she hallucinated the roof was caving in. Another time she told me demons would get me through the keyholes if I didn't give her the money out of mom's purse when she was sleeping because mommy was a "prick." She used to make me laugh and laugh when she said she would pimp me out to biker gangs in Mexico if she could get away with it. One time she even showed me her secret tattoo that ran from her ankle all the way up to her ear she called "Sal." I didn't always like doing the "rum is like candy" game and I think I might have been a little too young when she taught me how to cut nasal spray speed with baby powder to sell to the "vatos" who would drop by her tool shed house, but I knew she loved me. I'm glad she's out of prison and is on tribe.net now (does she have to register as a sex offender here too?). I love you Aunt Bea! Just please respect the restraining order and stop saying you'll shoot me in the face once your trigger finger grows back.
August 25, 2010
Aunt Bea's awesomeness is well beyond the limits of language. She makes me crave bowling and MGD...
April 20, 2010
It really must be carved in stone someplace as to what a gift to tribe our dear Aunt Bea is. In her tribes there cohabitates tribal personalities whom in other tribes would set each other on fire and jump off cliffs together. I would hope those in our esteemed Aunt Bea's private circle regularly sacrifice small tributes in her honor. And I know this made her blush.
February 10, 2010
Our Dear
Aunt Bea
moderates one'a
tha most
consistently active
tribes
ov
miscreants,
malcontents,
mysanthropes,
lovers,
an' fools.
Aunt Bea's stamina an' wit
have inspired
a dedicated membership,
who can weather
tha pissiest
ov
hissy-fits
imagined
layin' inna
gutter.
Aunt Bea
haz won tha
hearts
ov very big
trolls
who without hesitation
will bite
tha heads
of any
foolish enough
ta ever
mess
wit'
tha
Bea.
February 24, 2009
Make no mistake:
This woman is a classically trained kanoun player, a master of literally dozens of ancient languages, and a skilled commando in the mold of the world's most ruthless and unstoppable killers-for-justice. Yes: she is nice. Very much so. However. *Mind your Ps and Qs* because with little more than a foot of reach and a small scrap of paper she can break parts of you you didn't even know you *had*. Don't mess around.
Scientology Sucks,
! Trivia Tribe !,
<Remember This Band?>,
<Room Temperature>,
"nice as a tick",
*Psychological Effects of Online Friends,
++T.M.I.++,
???W.T.F. DUWENO'S FORUM,
A Chickens Tribe,
A Confederacy of Dunces,
a.m. | TIMECLOCK | p.m.,
AARGHHHHH!!!,
aint bea's helpful hints,
ASK AUNT BEA, IN NEW ORIGINAL FLAVOR!,
Bad Advice ON Any Subject,
Bees,
Book Tribe,
Captain Puppet's Salty Balls,
Charrro Eh'Spake Trrribe!!!,
Drafts,
...
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Henri-Frederic Amiel: “Life’s short and we never have enough time for the hearts of those who travel the way with us. O, be swift to love! Make haste to be kind.”
Aldous Huxley: " It is a little embarrassing that, after 45 years of research and study, the best advice i can give to people is to be a little kinder to each other."
Aesop: No Act of Kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Henry James:
Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.
The Dali Lama: "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."
Mark Twain: "kindness is th language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
THE LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS
welcome to the LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS, no spitting please. we know you love your pets and we like them too, but if you don't want to get wopped with a rake, clean up their poo. DO TO RE -LOCATION ISSUES, THE LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS ARE OPEN TO NON MEMBERS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. please call twenty four hours in advance.
the lud pupkin story.
shortly after world war two-the big one- an amazing phenomena took the pro bowling world by storm. that bowler was lud pupkin, possibly the greatest bowler of all time. unfortunately, we will never know for sure. from a long line of great italian and polish bowling families, lud grew up in the ally's of pensylvania. he was the nephew of famous twin dwarf pin setters edward and edwin pupkin. known in competitive circles as ed&ed.
in only his second season on the pro bowling circuit, in which he won eight of ten tournaments, six of them with perfect 900 series, lud quit the competitive bowling life in protest of automated pin setters. this caused him great personal hardship. he lost his lucrative pro bowling endorsement deals. his wife, dolores (not her real name, but she thought she looked like dolores del rio and put on airs), accustomed to the bright lights and flashy living of the pro bowling world, left him almost immediately. luckily, there were no children involved. lud was later to say that he felt he had no choice but to support the livlihood of his uncles and so many other pin setters like them. he had no regrets. he dropped from the eyes of the public for nearly thirty years.
in the early 1980's lud was spotted at a bowling alley in a small midwestern city. he sood out from the crowd, doing fancy trick shots, picking up splits, and making strikes and spares in a way that seemed supernatural. his uncles had gone on to the Lord's bowling alley(where He makes thunder) and lud had returned to his first love. gradually, folks around the alley came to know lud's story, lud himself and his constant companion, trixie schwartzendruber. (you know her, she's that widow, has the beauty salon down on laramie street. she looks real flashy, with them tight stretch pants and big hair, but really she's not. now her sister, trudy, the big gal that plays stand up base for the all girl polka band? whoo she's the wild one. been married seven times to five men. and her so plain and all. you go down to the legion hall on second saturday. that's when they play there-umpah sue and the upmahettes. she's nigh on six feet two inches and strong enough to pull a plow, but she has a full set of teeth, and she gets to twirlin' that stand up base-hoooeeee! them men gather round her like she was one of them little china dolls. like dogs to a dead fish if you ask me, which i know you didn't, so just hush.) as more and more good folk came to know lud's story, it was decided to do something to honor this fine human being and great bowler. that seed of an idea germinated into the LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS, the only clothing optional memorial bowling gardens in the state of kansas.
love offerings and tributes began pouring in to the coffers from all around the country, italy, poland and the areas of checoslovakia and the ukrain of the former soviet union. all the great bowling regions wanted to be represented. in addition, many cabbage roll and bierochs fund raising dinners were held, until finally enough had been raised to buy a small plot of land to establish the gardens.
unfortunately, in the year 2002, the local oficials decreed that this plot of ground was better used for a kohl's department store. lud had passed on the previous year and so was spared the heartbreak. for a while, it appeared that the dream was lost. then, after much scrambling and just under the wire, a new location was found in august of 2005. we are currently working on the hardscape, handicapped accessability, and installing the plants that we managed to save from th old location. for those of you who know and love the gardens of the past, yes, we did manage to save the charisma magnolia tree, the outre` clematis, and the linda louise iris beds. unfortunately, we lost the acapella hawthorne and the opus pear. we hope to be up and open to the public in the late spring of 2007. watch for our adds in the local penny saver. thank you for your time and consideration. please pick up all litter as you leave.
about me
i am descended from a long line of travelers, ne'r-do-wells, carnies, circus folk and other shifty types. i recently retired from a career in the roller derby. as my stage name is a professional secret, i can not reveal it here. suffice to say that the woman who now skates under that name is feared by all. now i have setteled down to an ordinary life as a small town gardener and local bowling history buff.
I just heard that our dear tribe friend phaedra/linda goodwin/jeff has died. linda was a severe diabetic and had been increasingly ill. she was losing her sight and having trouble interfacing with the computer...yet, she was always up beat and good humoured. i will miss jeff's many posts about his dreams. in real life, linda loved the real dog jeff so much. he kept her going for the last few years, him and her beloved grand-daughter. I hope that wherever linda is, she knows how much she...
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Tue, May 8, 2012 - 10:07 PM
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7 comments
first time i've gotten that in a few months. missed you guys.
Fri, April 27, 2012 - 5:57 PM
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3 comments
to whomever can save tribe!
Mon, January 30, 2012 - 7:08 PM
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15 comments
news.yahoo.com/blogs/tick...216817.html
Audience at tea party debate cheers leaving uninsured to die-
If you're uninsured and on the brink of death, that's apparently a laughing matter to some audience members at last night's tea party Republican presidential debate.
Texas Rep. Ron Paul, a doctor, was asked a hypothetical question by CNN host Wolf Blitzer about how society should respond if a healthy 30-year-old man who d...
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Tue, September 13, 2011 - 6:52 PM
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10 comments
I don't ever start e'mails with 'wasup', 'hullo', 'hiya', or 'yo'-those are the one's i'm currently aware of. if you get e-mails with that as the subject, or anything besides my usual salutation-and i do not include some personal info that we share, it is not me. i am not e-mailing anyone with any verbally abusive or pornographic language. i have changed my account logins. please change yours so that you don't get hacked or virused too. thanks. and sorry.
Sun, September 4, 2011 - 7:39 PM
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15 comments
1. you can't have too many five gallon buckets. if someone says you have too many, it's because they want yours.
2. it does no good to buy the 100 calorie packs if you eat six of them at a time.
Max Ehrmann
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
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