welcome to the LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS, no spitting please. we know you love your pets and we like them too, but if you don't want to get wopped with a rake, clean up their poo. DO TO RE -LOCATION ISSUES, THE LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS ARE OPEN TO NON MEMBERS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. please call twenty four hours in advance.

the lud pupkin story.
shortly after world war two-the big one- an amazing phenomena took the pro bowling world by storm. that bowler was lud pupkin, possibly the greatest bowler of all time. unfortunately, we will never know for sure. from a long line of great italian and polish bowling families, lud grew up in the ally's of pensylvania. he was the nephew of famous twin dwarf pin setters edward and edwin pupkin. known in competitive circles as ed&ed.

in only his second season on the pro bowling circuit, in which he won eight of ten tournaments, six of them with perfect 900 series, lud quit the competitive bowling life in protest of automated pin setters. this caused him great personal hardship. he lost his lucrative pro bowling endorsement deals. his wife, dolores (not her real name, but she thought she looked like dolores del rio and put on airs), accustomed to the bright lights and flashy living of the pro bowling world, left him almost immediately. luckily, there were no children involved. lud was later to say that he felt he had no choice but to support the livlihood of his uncles and so many other pin setters like them. he had no regrets. he dropped from the eyes of the public for nearly thirty years.

in the early 1980's lud was spotted at a bowling alley in a small midwestern city. he sood out from the crowd, doing fancy trick shots, picking up splits, and making strikes and spares in a way that seemed supernatural. his uncles had gone on to the Lord's bowling alley(where He makes thunder) and lud had returned to his first love. gradually, folks around the alley came to know lud's story, lud himself and his constant companion, trixie schwartzendruber. (you know her, she's that widow, has the beauty salon down on laramie street. she looks real flashy, with them tight stretch pants and big hair, but really she's not. now her sister, trudy, the big gal that plays stand up base for the all girl polka band? whoo she's the wild one. been married seven times to five men. and her so plain and all. you go down to the legion hall on second saturday. that's when they play there-umpah sue and the upmahettes. she's nigh on six feet two inches and strong enough to pull a plow, but she has a full set of teeth, and she gets to twirlin' that stand up base-hoooeeee! them men gather round her like she was one of them little china dolls. like dogs to a dead fish if you ask me, which i know you didn't, so just hush.) as more and more good folk came to know lud's story, it was decided to do something to honor this fine human being and great bowler. that seed of an idea germinated into the LUD PUPKIN MEMORIAL BOWLING GARDENS, the only clothing optional memorial bowling gardens in the state of kansas.
love offerings and tributes began pouring in to the coffers from all around the country, italy, poland and the areas of checoslovakia and the ukrain of the former soviet union. all the great bowling regions wanted to be represented. in addition, many cabbage roll and bierochs fund raising dinners were held, until finally enough had been raised to buy a small plot of land to establish the gardens.

unfortunately, in the year 2002, the local oficials decreed that this plot of ground was better used for a kohl's department store. lud had passed on the previous year and so was spared the heartbreak. for a while, it appeared that the dream was lost. then, after much scrambling and just under the wire, a new location was found in august of 2005. we are currently working on the hardscape, handicapped accessability, and installing the plants that we managed to save from th old location. for those of you who know and love the gardens of the past, yes, we did manage to save the charisma magnolia tree, the outre` clematis, and the linda louise iris beds. unfortunately, we lost the acapella hawthorne and the opus pear. we hope to be up and open to the public in the late spring of 2007. watch for our adds in the local penny saver. thank you for your time and consideration. please pick up all litter as you leave.

1. you can't have too many five gallon buckets. if someone says you have too many, it's because they want yours.
2. it does no good to buy the 100 calorie packs if you eat six of them at a time.