Abram always uses Safety Orange safety-condoms when making that monkey love. For that alone, I will always love him.

One time I needed rescuing and Abram magically appeared to save me. I have never felt so at ease as I was in the arms of that big hairy ape. Petting his tough but smooth chest. Inhaling his slightly scorched wilderness scent as he whispered safe nothings into my ear while carting me away from primitive dangers.

Thank you Abram! I luv you.