trying..not trying ..trying to find agency in a complacent world.can it be done? how? i ushually prefer to say fuck it and go on doing whatever i want as ushual but then it all gets so irritating being socially aware in some ways and fine with things as they are in other ways that lack an action.

Well I don't care about having a life's purpose so atleast i dont have to worry about that, but how to continue being an artist and hopefully not scraping by. make myself a nice lil community so i wont be alone in my old age<sigh>. Perhaps i'll sell out and buy a house and have all my girlfriends live in it after their husbands or significant other die....i picture it being like "the Golden girls" only with drugs and more sluttiness to help keep me entertained b4 death.

"Doubtless is it more necc....to transform concepts, to displace them, to turn them against their presuppositions, to reinsribe them in other chairs, and little y little to modify the terrain of our work and thereby produe new configurations, I do not believe in decsive ruptures, in a unequirocal "epistemological break", as it is called today. Breaks are always, and fatally, reinscribed in an old cloth that must continually, interminably be undone"

~derrida
(Positions)