Wow, I read over my blogs from 1.5 to 2 years ago and I feel like I need to pull my head out of the cyclone. I set the intention to develope self -worth. Pray and Duck.

2007 has already been a year of major shifts. My business is taking off, I opened my office Feb 1st, its as if I'm caught up in the white water that is pulling me to shore. We've started having friends over for activities every couple of weeks. We did a journaling seminar, tomorrow night we're having a Secret party. I'm facilitating a Women's Wellness Weekend the end of April @ our mtn home. I'm also organizing a community lecture.

I experienced Theta Healing. Not sure how to describe the proceedure, I really can only describe my experience. I went into a deep meditative level and as I was looking at some old baggage it was as if they were snatched out of my hands and gone. 3 very specific things. Since then I've felt lighter, more open, my beloved has noticed a shift in me. That I seem more excited about life.

My kids are thriving in thier own paths right now. Max has been elected to be a student ambassador for People to People and will be traveling to Australia next summer. He has grown into such a level-headed, fun, compassionate, inquisitive young man. Greyson is such a light. I think he's here to show us how to dance in joy. Kendra is beautiful, responsible and way over worked, but very grounded.

Life is full, exciting, and divinly guided.

The Level 4 training was wonderful, coming back was a shock to my system but I've recouped. I quit smoking and almost chased my beloved away. The apprenticeship has officially started. I have a rough draft of my brochure and business cards, but I need to work on them a bit more.

Life is good!

When I went to bed last night I was thinking about the Healing Touch appointment I have on Monday and what my intention for the session will be. I wasn't sure how to state it or where to go with it. I was thinking self worth issues and then I thought about maybe just describing my physical symptoms and going from there.

Last night I had a dream about a train. If I got on the train on one side it would just go in circles getting no where. There was a lot of activity around this side, lots of people and brown colors. The other side was surrounded by green grass, no 'drama' and smooth easy feeling atmosphere and if I got on that side the train would actually go somewhere. Where that is I don't know but I certainly don't want to keep going in circles. The whole time I was dreaming, this person was in my mind. I woke hurt by thier intentions to hurt me and wanting to push back.

What I realized as I looked at my attitude toward this person and the events is my yearning to improve my sense of self worth outwardly rather than inwardly. Those times we try to do or be good enough/do or be better by comparison. I know that when I devalue myself I am arrogantly stating that my judgment is more accurate than God's. My value doesn't come from comparison or even through action, we are valuable just because we are, and we are all connected.

This aquaintance has given me the honor of seeing this, at first I want to engage in the power struggle with her. There is a seduction to these power struggles. I tried praying for good things for her but then would think of other ways to passively engage in the power struggle.

As I prayed and meditated on it several things came to mind. First was a post I'd read that I loved:

"It has come to light within me now that I hold this energy within me, and that every judgment and slap I have felt from you, mirrors an attitude I hold towards myself. I now divest you of this role and choose to take responsibility for moving this unlovingness out of my Self, myself."

And the ACIM quote: "I give you to the Holy Spirit as part of myself. I know that you will be released, unless I want to use you to imprison myself. In the name of my freedom I choose your release, because I recognize that we will be released together."

And the final ACIM quote which I apply to myself is: "When a brother behaves insanely you can heal him only by perceiving the sanity in him."

The universe will always offer us methods to overcome the obstacles that block us from our Source.

I think my intention should be something closer to allowing the truth to unfold for me. Accepting self love.