Coming Round to my Favorite Town (seattle)

So...Im flying back for a travel visit - on home to seattle.

Gosh it feels odd to blog/journal on here. Somehow all of a sudden i feel hyper aware. Who am i sending these words out to, exactly? and what is their intention? It feels so much better just to simply reach out and call the person who i want to hit, directly.

Ive been living at One Taste New York (www.onetaste.us) for 2 weeks now. Its a community of people who's life mission it is to weave orgasm back into world conversation and into our bodies.

Its been a really amazing, rich, and definatly challenging ride. I am here, no longer allowed to shut myself off or disconnect, at least not for long, and suddenly the concept of typing random words on the internet feel somehow strange to me.

Yet - i havent talked to alot of you, on my friend's list in quite a while. Im coming back around to seattle nov 1-11th, and would love to reconnect....can we start here? :)

Hadass

Playa Home 2007

My New home is:

Freedom Village.

camp: Tiny town.

Im camping with a KICKASS village this year! im really excited! The name says it all. We'll be a a community of individuals exploring what it means to subvert our own lil tiny boxes and really expand into who we are. Not just by identifying as healers/performers/sex positive folk (we got all of that in there), but by really taking a look at the sides of us we want to live out bigger..

Come Join Us for workshops, and games that inquire and explore into who you are.

7:30 and Intertidal

CheckOut my BM camp's Fablous Online Auction Fundraiser

...to help us fundraise for the playa. My Camp is freedom village...description below:

Online Fundraise Address:

www.freedomcommunity.net/2007/...n.html

and here's a little description:

camp is freedom community village - which will be at 7:30 and intertidal this year.

Freedom Village is A camp devoted to people seeking to explore the total freedom of who they are on the playa, expanding themselves beyond their ususal roles and trying something new. Our camp consists of the freedom community collge in which consists of 2 parts. the first contains all of our theme camps under the village umbrella:

Freedomcommunity village presents: Ouroboros

Dedicated to conscious co-creation, we celebrate our active choice for a greater world Oneness. We play, create, support and love because that is truly all there is. This is our third year on our own and second time as a village; thus Oroborous, a snake that eats its tail, being in and outside of oneself, reinventing, and eternally questing.
Hometown: Red Bank , NJ
URL: tribes.tribe.net/freedomcommunityburns
Contact: fellicce (at) gmail (dot) com

the second part:


Freedom Community College

FreedomCommunity College brings together under the rubric of Freedom all the learning, growth and wonder that Freedomcommunity members have collected individually, making available powerful tools for creating the best life possible. Come declare yourself! Get a degree in Freedom! From communication to kink to capitalism, FCC has something for you.

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
URL: www.tribe.net/freedomcommunityburns
Contact: rsreagan (at) gmail (dot) com

One of these fine mornings....(the got my new home song)

...at break of day. Im going home on a cloud....king death gonna find me here at my play, im going home on a cloud..."

I used to sing that song in choir. its really amazing. its a song that used to be sung by the slaves in the song. Its a guy that's essentially singing about being free, and finding his home (in heaven). its really appropriate right now.

cuz i feel FREE and i got a HOME!! :) thank you all everyone that put your energy towards help me. god bless it, im gonna be living in a beautiful studio with a riverfront view in tribeca. the lease signing happens on monday. WOO HOO!!!! im finally free of that exhorbhant rent and free of my 'eternal traveller girl' complex. at least for the moment. oh my gawd in heaven it feels GOOD.

Photo Credit: www.gallery19.us/images/100-61186.jpg

Help me with my HOME

Traveller Girl Extrodainaire here.

Im currently james bonding my way into an apartment in manhatten. Staking my claim into this little piece of the matrix to call my own until the winds of change carry me onwards.

And I know that writing these words can generate the energy of anyone reading it. So if you can imagine for me, with me, that the apartment im currently applying for is APPROVING me as we speak, the managment company nodding its head affirmatively, ready to welcome me into my new place in tribecca with open and inviting and arms, easily and gracefully, and that all they will need from me is a first and last month's rent checks.

Thank you and goodnight :)

Photo Credit: anotherboyfromoz.wordpress.com/fi...jpg

change

So as I was looking for a picture to post along with this blog I found a picture that had a guy surfing the waves with a shark oncoming and the title said "change: its a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat." (the website is despair.com).

I almost used that picture.

then i thought. Wait. What the fuck?

Yeah. That guy, and that quote wouldve been my last 3 weeks. But as much as i would love nothing more then to dive facefirst into that pile of poo, I resist!

The last 2 and half weeks have been some heavy duty deconstructing of reality with my once lover/teacher of the past, mister shawn roop. Daka, Swami, Magic Man Extordinaire. Loved and Revered by many he came here with one noble intention - to save my ass. To lift me up out of the depressing and somewhat sinking reality that had recently become my life.

and I FOUGHT. and I STRUGGLED. and I PANICKED.

because it meant letting go and really looking at the fears ive identified with so closely. I got to a point where I no longer wanted to be a sacred sex teacher. It just became too damn hard. Everyone including myself had let me down and even though i wasnt yet saying i was done, i was. I had given up.

He helped me undo what turned out to be massive gooey piles of sticky poo.

So here I am, feeling into my shoulders and going "OWW that hurts". I think Im feeling again. I mean Im feeling again. Slowly very tenatively. He reached out his hand and asked me to trust him and i aint trusted another human being in longer then i care to admit. and i fought. and i cried. and i panicked. I still do sometimes.

But im feeling some change on the horizon. im looking at my work right now and i aint got it all figured out yet but at least i know that yes there could be that possibility that i could move forward, deeper, further, that i could be absolutly totally myself and pursue my passion and also yes be able to genuinely empower people through this work.

I mean that would be very nice.

(photo credit: seawifs.gsfc.nasa.gov/OCEAN_P...253.gif)

Almost Done

Wow...Okay. Almost done with this bout of travelling.

Im almost "back Home' in new york. And trying to prolong this seattle visit a bit longer....in my mind.

I cant say that any particular thing made it amazing but it felt really good. I feel really good. Its nice to get away for a second from having to obessively worry about money and success, and just having trees and air around me. no. it feels REALLY REALLY good. My whole self has been saying 'this is what it should be'.

Seattle felt comfortably...familliar.

Saw my old friends from the scene. It was kinda strange. I guess I never was that close to them. Some of them have changed, while others seem to have somewhat stayed in the same place. I looked at them and thought, I think Im not there anymore.

I cant say that I had any deep friendship experiences this week, but maybe a little touching base on potential ones.

I cant say I had any amazing lover experiences either, tho that one lil roll around with a past lover was....interesting.

I cant say i did exceptionally well financially but I had a great time doing my sessions.

Mostly I walked around and felt my spirit going 'uh-huh, yep, this feels right'.

Im not sure what it all means yet. I think I have one little last love story with new york before I declare departure, but I did find out today I can leave at basically a month's notice.

So I dont know whats happening from here. Im gonna go study music for a bit I think...and maybe give new york another whirl for a bit.

Anyways, they always say : wherever you go, there you are....


(photo credit: Arcatapet.net)

Come meet up with me tonight in seattle!

Im gonna be at the inertia lab 8 year renuion/hoe down extravaganza. Dolled up in a blue sparkly cowboy hat and silver gloves. and damnit, if you are looking for a FREE old ravestyle party with a bunch of crazy oldskoolers throwing down almost like they used to, and catching up with me while im in town...come say hi!!

at the CHAC at 1621 - 12th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122

(photo credit: deviantart.com)

Coming Home (Seattle) Tomorrow...

Alrighty, spent some time with an amazing intutive counseler today who really helped me set some intentions for my upcoming seattle trip, and empower them. I really want the simple things in life:

Love, Adventure, and as my friend in the eastvillage likes to say everytime the phone rings - "fame and fortune"(!)

Rainy City, Here I come....

Travelling Again (Seattle and Beyond).

So i cant believe Im doing the travel thing again, but suffice to say that reading about in my last posts, my dear readers can probably tell that new york has been suffocating the last breath out of this temple whore. Fuck, Okay, I give, I need to get OUT for a little while. So on the itenariry along with the bahamas ( boo yeah), washington d.c. (or pennsylvannia, work matters), i am coming about to seattle Dec 12th-19th.

ive been contemplating returning on home for a little while now, and the inertia lab 8 year anniversary renuion party gave me the little kick in the butt i needed. Time to throw down back to ye old psychedelic days one more time. aw yeah.

So now same old worries run around in my mind.

i dont have a place to stay yet, and am not sure how that will work itself out.

i also wonder which people i will end up connecting with, and what kind of friendships exist, or potentinally exist.

and then there's the whole family thing, and the strangeness of that.

its home but not home. Coming about again...

(photo credit, me, aug 2006)