Female

Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back. Danger: high voltage. If swallowed get medical help. May cause drowsiness.
Do not operate heavy machinery or consume alcohol while under the influence. Very slippery when wet. Parental advisory: explicit lyrics. Contents under pressure – point away from face. Headlights on at all times and can be used as a flotation device.
Keep out of reach of children. Do not remove tag upon penalty of law. No purchase necessary. Some assembly required.
Warning: this bag is not a toy. Beware of heart thief. If lost, can be found around loose women!