I hold the deepest belief that the clearer and more refined I get around what I want in a lover/partner -- the clearer that man will be in my life. I want to rechannel the energy I have been putting online where once sex was enough to satisfy my desire and now use this forum to bring the vibration higher. It is scary for me to be so vulnerable about my deepest desires in such a public forum (opposed to my journal, for instance) but there is something magical about trusting that this energy is getting out of my mind and heart and root and into the greater whole.

Its funny. I dont feel like Ive ever really gotten that clear about what I WANT in and from a lover. Ive been pretty clear what I dont want OR what I am willing to look past in order to get little things that I want but it seems that the more shallow I am with my desires, the more shallow the person is with the encounter. And the less satisfying the encounter is.

Intuitively, I know that I want to be received on many planes. I want a lover who is rooted in his world and trusting enough to reach into new realms and people. I want a lover who doesnt just look at me but looks into me. I want a lover who I am deeply attracted to (and him to me) physically, emotionally, spiritually and at times morphs from teacher to student. I want a lover who treasures enthusiasm, gentleness, adventure, harmony, truth and evolving consciously. I want a lover to loves me, my art, my passions and purpose. And I want to find wonderment and connection in his passions and purpose.

I want to open myself to someone who is a non-linear thinker and abstract feeler. I want to choose to trust my lover in each day, in each moment, as if it were for the first time and the last. I want to open myself sensually and sexually to experience the bliss of reuniting with him with passionate lovemaking. I want our energy to be unspoken and completely understandable. I want to laugh and feel light with him as we dance through our lives.

I want to close my eyes and stop looking. I am trusting more and more that this is all beginning to manifest beyond where I can see.