My Ranting Insanity
More about being a Bitch...
Thu, July 20, 2006 - 11:30 PM
Just dont' do it ladies. If you are gonna put out--married or not--GET YOURS FIRST!!!! Seriously! Faking an orgasm just makes it harder for you and your partner to figure out how to have one later. There are other books for that... And if you aren't worth making sure you have an orgasm, then you're missing the point of the book altogether. I think I should write the author....
The photo of this blog is a book that looks really interesting... Has anyone read it?
Keep your chins up. I was just talking with a friend of mine that has been in and out of belly dance twice in the last year. She figured out that when she starts to feel really beautiful and fabulous, she sabatoges herself and finds reasons why she should spend her time elsewhere.
Me personally? I find time to do things like type on the computer instead of working on a new costume or working out choreography for a solo. I sabatoge my own fabulousness by not taking the time to make sure I look and feel fabulous by being prepared and looking my best. What's up with that? I think Coldplay says it best:
...We never change do we
We never learn do we...
Its not difficult to make a conscious change in our lives and choose new behaviours. But then that "situation" comes up and we find ourselves right in the basement, resorting to reactions that we know don't work, but we are helpless against them it seems. How can we affect real change?
I recently found myself in a situation in which I acted as I did 10 years ago. It was really a slam to my perceived self when I realized that I had fallen right into a trap that I thought I'd long learned to avoid. *sigh* Its quite a job to keep your head when you are faced with a demon that you had taken great measures to avoid. Its definately humbling. Maybe that's a good thing. My whole life is changing because of it, and I'm so aware of how complacent I'd been about myself and my own needs. Its a hard place to be, but I'm definately glad to be here....and I'm glad you're with me, even if you don't say anything.
Thu, July 20, 2006 - 11:30 PM -
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Fri, July 21, 2006 - 1:29 AM
You are so beautiful
I have to remind myself that I'm not really all the way back to the basement when I slip, as if I hadn't really made any progress at all (my darkest despair is just that idea, that I will only ever be broken and stuck there). Sometimes we just visit those old thoughts and behaviors for a moment so we can viscerally feel just how far we have come, how foreign those old things are to the people we are becoming.
It's just a visit, not a sisyphean rock rolling all the way down to the bottom of the hill. Then we brush ourselves off and we're right back to where we were on the path of healing and learning, just a little more awake and informed, more grateful for the width and length of our progress, and a little softened towards the place of compassion for the vulnerability and stuck places we all face. |
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Fri, July 21, 2006 - 5:57 AM
I can always find time to work on costuming ... for other people! Mine always takes a back seat. We've always been taught to NOT be selfish, but sometimes it's the only thing that can help us keep our sanity. I think we need to make the conscious decision for some "ME" time every day ... after I finish making the hair pieces for my friend ... :-)
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Fri, July 21, 2006 - 8:51 AM
I hear ya...I do it too. I am afraid of success it seems...I have known struggle for so long that when things go so smoothly I get frightened because I assume the boot is gonna drop from the sky right on my head ;)
The one thing that reminds me to embrace change and recognize that when I'm afraid it means I have the opportunity to grow is this poem: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, whom am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. You were born to make manifest the glory of God. That is within us. It’s not just some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson ........................................... You're amazing and full of light Rachel, don't ever let anyone dim it, especially not yourself :) xox Lin. |
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Fri, July 21, 2006 - 4:21 PM
How to have an orgasm in 1 quick lesson.
Find your clit. Party with it. I have a saying, "Sex without an orgasm is like vacuuming without turning the machine on." It does nothing for you and the floor is still dirty. Party on! |
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Fri, July 21, 2006 - 4:48 PM
party on wayne
party on garth... Laura you crack me up! And Rachel... I love reading your thoughts and trials and letting you know that you're not alone. Oh boy are you not alone in repeating years old mistakes... its just means there's deeper to go, and boy does it go deep! But when you clear stuff that deep, it does open and change your whole life - thank goddess! Everyone has a sabotouer somewhere in their subconsious, our challenge is to work with how it can illuminate the lessons we need to learn from all situations and continue on the spiral of evolution, not a hampster wheel of karma! |
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Unsu...
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Thu, July 27, 2006 - 11:53 AM
"and I'm glad you're with me, even if you don't say anything."
this is me saying something. XO. L. |
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Wed, January 2, 2008 - 11:04 AM
poem-Ode to the Organizationally Challenged
Hello-just wandered upon this discussion and had to laugh...totally against the faking thing....but about the sabotage situations....the best way, I have found to deal with these situations after crying, is to find some humor. I have a poem that I wrote years ago for myself and a fellow dancer and dear friend, well-known but will not reveal. I wrote it while trying to finish a costume last minute for a valentine gig that I had known about for many moons but alas, in between sewing on white and gold quickly and creating some blood spots that had to be cleaned up, I was also writing the poem about procrastinating, which took more time....let me know if you want me to post here. Otherwise, Do you best but sit light in the laddle. We are all human, after all.
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