MASSIVE MOOD SWINGS

Happy Inter-dependence Day

~Belle~ — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:37:14 GMT

This is the kind of Anthem I would sing... http://youtube.com/watch?v=4puDwrJUxrg May all beings have happiness and it's causes and may there be peace on this beautiful planet.

~*~

~Belle~ — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 01:34:26 GMT

Please disregard my October blog. I've decided to skip the 4 steps I listed previously and just do Step 5. RETIRE! The Belle of the Ball is stepping down. When Amanda and I put on the first ANTi-PROM we expected it to be a 'one-off'. I never thought it would last four debaucherous years. But alas, I am getting tired. I want to step back and take a break, perhaps indefinitely. When we started this we had a vision. To create a safe space for dancing, debauchery and diversity. I want to thank you all for helping to realize that vision. I personally would like to acknowledge the following peeps: *Miss Amanda Ruckus. My Soul Mama. Co-creator of QueenCityQueers and Mistress of the ANTi-PROM. I will miss being naughty in Nelson with you. *Resident ANTi-PROM DJ Hoola Hoop (The Gays love you Man) *DJ's Lioness, Sassafrass, Audio Architect, Ricochet, Jorma, Oasis, Terrantino and Jitterbug. I am constantly amazed at the level of talent that resides in this little town. *Avrell Fox, with us since the first Prom, contributing art for fundraising, doing 'live art' on stage and generally sharing her talent and love. *My Knight in Shining Armour Carl, who agreed at the last minute to MC the 2006 ANTi-PROM. Thanks for holding my hand and easing my horrible stage fright. *Jenna and Chad, who were running Charlotte's at the time of the first Prom and who were the only venue in Nelson to say, "hell yeah!". Thank you both for your patience, encouragement and love these past 4 years. I couldn't have done it without you. I couldn't have done it without any of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I feel so blessed to live in this magical place where I am accepted and loved for who I am. I hope that in some way our events have helped others to feel that way as well. ~Belle~

Flogging my next event - hell no!

~Belle~ — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 02:13:44 GMT

I'm not flogging my event. This is just step 1 of my diabolical plan. Step 1: use one of my own photo's for an event poster Step 2: design my next event poster, me myself and I Step 3: learn to dj and play at my own events (DJ Belle's deep sexy house that makes your hootchie kiss the floor!) Step 4: design my own website to link homo's all over the world with the queencityqueers Step 5: RETIRE!

I'm just a Virgin....Shambala that is

~Belle~ — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 01:20:19 GMT

Can ya' believe it?!! I've lived in the Koots for 4 years and I've never been to Shambala. My boss always takes holidays in August so I can never go. This year, she booked for July. So, I bought a cheapo ticket in the spring. Booked the Saturday off well in advance and looked forward to hanging with my friends. Just do Saturday and Sunday. Sweet, chill, not too much. Just enough to wet my appetite. But as August approached I have found myself saying, NAHHH! None of my crew are going; not my scene; too intense; too much for sweet innocent Belle. So I graciously gave up that day off to a co-worker so he could have his bday off. Ohh, the Universe. She's a bit of a BRAT sometimes. As is the way of the Kootenays, one after another my friends have decided they would go to Shambles after all. So, I said to that BRAT this morning. 'If I'm meant to go to Shambala - let it all line up baby.' And off I trundled to the Coop, got my wheat-free, corn-free, yeast-free bread and left. Halfway down the block I felt parched and went back for a cool bevy. Two seconds later my friend Louis came rolling in with a big grin on his face. "Belle, if you you can get your camping gear organized in 1/2 hour I will get it up to the site for you." You are such a BRAT Universe. And as we were loading up my gear our friend Cari rolled by with a big grin on his face. "Belle, if you can get off work at noon I will drive you to Shambala!" Aren't those sweet words. If I had a quarter for every time I heard that line. *sigh* So, wish me luck. If the Brat has her way I'm going to get that day off and I'm going to figure out some way to get the rest of my tickle trunk in. A girl's gotta have outfits!

Life is....

~Belle~ — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:08:01 GMT

Last night at the Spirit Bar Safire (Angela) Jones included in her visuals the words of Mother Theresa. I have had a month of significant loss. Seeing those words while dancing to Adham Shaike lifted me up and I felt hope and peace. Perhaps they will give you the same. Life is.... Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it. (The sculpture used in this blog was created with Luv by Duv)

i will behave

~Belle~ — Fri, 11 May 2007 01:46:28 GMT

i will not grind unsuspecting thighs on the ANTi-PROM dancefloor i will dress respectfully, and my clothes will stay on i will not make out with anyone or touch them i will not hit on the hawt gay men of Nelson i will not do a 'performance' on the go go stage with my grrl i will not confess my love for Red Hawt Carl i love breaking the rules

Shuffle

~Belle~ — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 22:43:59 GMT

From my friend Vicious. 1.Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING! How are you feeling today? Better That You Leave (Lea Lorien) - David Morales Mix How do your friends see you? Professional Widow (Tori Amos) - Armond Van Helden Mix HEHEHE Will you get married? Just What I Needed (Cars) - Toshi Reagan cover NOOOOOOOO! What is your best friend's theme song? Southern Girl - DJ Dazey SOUTHERN HO' MORE LIKE IT! What is the story of your life? Can You Handle It? - Hed Kandi SO TRUE! What was high school like? Insomnia - Faithless How can you get ahead in life? If I Had a Dollar - Be Good Tanyas HOW ABOUT A MILLION OF THOSE! What is the best thing about your friends? Boogie Oogie Oogie - A Taste of Honey YEAH, THEY ARE! What is in store for this weekend? I'll Never Be The Same - DJ Jorma FOR THE BETTER I HOPE! What song describes you? The Dream Goes On - Errol Blackwood I AM KINDA DREAMY! *SMIRK* To describe your grandparents? What I Got - Michael Franti How is your life going? My First Lover - Gillian Welch *SIGH* What song will they play at your funeral? Midnight Moonlight - Be Good Tanyas

Synchronicity?

~Belle~ — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 02:41:21 GMT

This happens on a erie regular basis. And now I'm starting to notice 12:12 occasionally when I glance at a clock. So, I poked around the internet today to a few kooky 11:11 sights and here is what I found. Names, events and places that add up to 11 letters: *Berlin Wall comes down 11.11.89 *Nelson Mandela released 11th February 1990 *September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2+5+4 = 11 The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11 After September 11th there were 111 days left to the end of the year *Nuclear Bomb *War on Terror *World War One *World War Two *World War III *Remembrance day is November 11 *Jesus Christ *Nostradamus *George W. Bush *Adolf Hitler And now here are a few of my favorite words or names with 11 letters: *Cooperation *Celebration *Cunnilingus (ahhh 'c' words) *Booty Shorts *Mother Earth *Fuck Me Boots *Long Weekend *Adham Shaike *Will Smith - ok, it's not 11 letters...but damn! He's hunky!

Best Girlfriend, Ever!

~Belle~ — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 13:59:41 GMT

Shows up at my door bearing gluten free, sugar free yummy quinoa muffins Smiles at me with mango eyes Rubs my aching back and caresses my hard day of work away Reads me Frog & Toad stories Until I fall asleep like a child weary from a hard day of play

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

~Belle~ — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 23:55:19 GMT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. To determine this, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Debauchery Anyone?

~Belle~ — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:32:23 GMT

I am so excited about this year's ANTI-PROM! DJ Hoola Hoop just confirmed today! Fuck I love putting on events! It takes about 2 months to plan the Prom cuz' I do the prep work here myself. My Soul Mama Amanda (the Naughty Nurse pictured above) comes up from Vancouver and she takes over running the event and she MC's. Last year her ride fell through at the last minute and I had to MC. Thank gawd for Rescue Remedy and Stella!! The Prom has a special place in my heart cuz' it was the first event I ever did. There we were - Amanda in her black handmade duct tape dress and I in my lavender vinyl cowgirl outfit. Twitching on the couch at Charlotte's. Listening to Lioness and Hoola and hoping people would come out. And they did! And we fuckin' killed it before killin' it was cool! But, I digress. This year is gonna be full on DEBAUCHERY! Why you ask? Because it is a Leather & Lace Fetish Ball. Yes - leather, lace, bubblewrap, go go dancers, spanking booth. Hype, hype, hype are ya' ready for the hype?

You Know I Like To Be

~Belle~ — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 01:19:20 GMT

bossed around in the sack but honey don't you be tellin me what to do anywhere else cause you see I need to run my own time and if I want to talk & talk & talk for 3 hours on the phone with my best girlfriend you know you'd better find yourself something else to do ~ You do what you need to be doing and I'll do the same ~ My pussy is yours when I say you can have some ~ Otherwise she belongs to me and if I want to give her a vacation or two with some other fine woman, doesn't mean there's any less for you ~ You be vacationing your own self and I won't say a word ~ Possession is a drug-related offense and it offends me when anyone wants to put a dog collar on me, visible or invisible, cause I ain't no bitch ~ I'm my own damn woman and I like all kinds of trouble ~ But no screaming matches, no stuff about how you can't live without me because you know I ain't your lungs ~ I intend to redefine those 4-letter words, Miss Love and Miss Fuck, with my own body ~ Let's see each other when it's good and take a break when it's hard ~ You're not my woman and I'm not yours except when I'm coming ~ Doesn't mean I love your ass any less ~ Means I love you more than some 2-bit teenage romance, honey means I love you like a good woman should ~ Chrystos (Photo by Jordon Matter photography)

In My Next Life

~Belle~ — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 02:44:12 GMT

I want to live my next life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.

Today is my one year anniversary

~Belle~ — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 14:55:33 GMT

I am very grateful for this space. I have felt safe enough here that I have allowed a long buried side of myself to surface. Essentially 'coming out' all over again. I feel the changes in myself profoundly. The people closest to me can attest to the transformation in me over this past year. I have made friends here that flow into my offline life. Most of my Tribe friends live in my little mountain town. I would see you on the dance floor and share a smile and some sweet grooves. I very much longed to connect with you, but shyness and insecurity stifled me. This medium has allowed me to reach across the void and feel your warmth. It has taught me that we all crave that warmth and connection. It has been a gratifying journey creating friendships in my town and traveling beyond it borders. You are all so precious and inspiring to me and I enjoy peeking into your world everyday. Thank you all for your encouragement, your acceptance, and your love. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such a resplendent group of individuals. I bask in your warmth. ~Belle~

4 am Picasso's

~Belle~ — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 21:23:52 GMT

I've heard it said that how you spend your New Year's sets the tone for the coming year. PHASE 1 - Socializing with friends old and new. A sushi buffet, communal foot rubs and stories. All interspersed with copious hugs and martinis. PHASE 2 - Hit the dance floor hard and the flirting begins. There's never a lack of thigh to grind in my circle of friends. Another guest has arrived. It's my year long crush. And whoa Nelly, hold on to yer' garters, because she is clad in leather pants! PHASE 3 - Champagne Kisses at midnight. And what to my wonderous eyes should appear, that beautiful woman, and joy of joy she is QUEER! Pried apart by the crowd we make our rounds of the room, to return to our steamy corner and then the massage room. PHASE 4 - Chill out to Adham Shaike by the warm wood stove. Acid arms and contact dance. Picassos's on silky canvases and Kundalini cuddles on the floor. While the few standing on legs are playfully scorned. PHASE 5 - The rest of my evening shall be saved for my memoirs. 2,007 is shaping up nicely I'd say. Happy New Year to all my friends here old and new!

Zen and the Art of Broccoli

~Belle~ — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 05:52:16 GMT

I could have taken you, that night we wrestled on the floor. If not for that splinter that lodged itself so conveniently in my butt. Yes, it was cheating, to grab your cunt in my merciless grip. And so worth the lose of the sportsmanship trophy to hear you squeal 'like a girl'. I still remember that day we met. Standing full frame in my doorway, leatherclad and flooding the room with your dazzling light. Smiling at me as if we were friends long parted. You rescued me, and you gave me a home. You liberated me from my locks. 7 braids of isolation and abuse. I was your butterfly. You knew, one must become nothing, before becoming something. I think of you more than I should. Your name is common and it echoes throughout my life. The loss and the longing cripples me on lonely nights such as this. Only you will understand these words. I pray you read them. I pray you find me again. I miss you.

Why I missed a night of Fort Knox funk

~Belle~ — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:03:16 GMT

Well, I survived the plague this week and 3 hours sleep Friday nite to make it to my annual staff Christmas party last night. What a wonderful and wild bunch of people I work with and well worth missing seeing Fort Knox down at the Hume. It's been years since a margurita touched these lips and ohh how sweet the nectar still is. Back in the day I was known as Mescal Shell due to my love affair with that golden liquid. I've developed a reputation in the past year at work of being a 'playboy'. You know, I talk the talk, but I don't really walk that walk. I am an el grando flirt and have cultivated the art of it. Alas, everyone looked so beautiful last night in their finest finest, and what's a girl to do? I had to grind the occasional thigh; hump that hawt fag boy's butt on the dance floor; softly sing cheezy 80's ballads in my dates ear; flirt outrageously with my boss for more drink tickets. I just can't help myself. But at least, I didn't whip off all my clothes on the dance floor and do an imitation of Demi Moore in Stripper. No my friends, I have class!

My First Poem

~Belle~ — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 05:44:40 GMT

There once was a man who said how? Do you ride on a lobsided cow? He sadly exclaimed. I get such a pain. When I fall off that lobsided cow. (Grade 5)

Like A Moth

~Belle~ — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 05:43:14 GMT

at twilight caught inside searching the window for the hole back to life to air wings spread useless against glass. I watch the sun go down slowly over water answers the wind could bring are some other language. I'm caught in a web no one sees the spider myself gobbling. - Chrystos

Transgender Day of Remembrance

~Belle~ — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:11:29 GMT

The Transgender Day of Remembrance is held on November 20th each year to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgender, each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people. The list of deaths available at www.rememberingourdead.org only contains those deaths known to the transgender community or that have been reported to the media. Please take a moment today to honor the lives of transgender people who might otherwise be forgotten. Through this vigil, we express love and respect in the face of indifference and hatred.

in a word

~Belle~ — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 15:16:36 GMT

(from Avrell's blog) 1. Yourself: evolving 2. Your spouse: n/a 3. Your hair: shorttttt 4. Your mother: inspirational 5. Your father: who? 6. Your favorite thing: life 7. Your dream last night: hmmm? 8. Your favorite drink: H2O 9. Your dream car: harley 10. The room you are in: boudoir 11. Your Ex: psycho 12. Your fear: aging 13. What you want to be in 10 years: retired 14. Who you hung out with last night: Carl 15. What you're not: lonely 16. Muffins: chocolate 17: One of your wish list items: mattress 18: Time: 7:05 am 19. The last thing you did: peed 20. What you are wearing: uniform 21. Your favorite weather: snow 22. Your favorite book: chrystos 23. The last thing you ate: eggs 24. Your life: magical 25. Your mood: content 26. Your best friend: devoted 27. What you are thinking about right now: sex 28. Your vehicle: legs 29. What you are doing at the moment: thinking 30. Your summer: naughty 31. Your relationship status: flirt queen 32. What is on your TV: bleech! 33. What the weather is like: cold 34. The last time you laughed? #14 35. Odd or even numbers? even

Pillow Fight

~Belle~ — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:09:26 GMT

WHAT A FABULOUS WEEKEND! A weekend of firsts. Friday - the weekend began with the arrival of my PLLP (Plutonic Lesbian Life Partner) from Vancouver. I cooked a yummy dinner for her and three other friends and we drank copious bottles of red wine. At midnight we remembered that for the past two years we've been threatening the luscious JennA with a JennASandwich. So on to the Royal we go to fulfill our promise. Alas, JennA was off having fun without us. So Amanda and I enjoyed a romantic drunken stumble home in the rain and crawled into bed to snuggle. I have so missed her delicious warm body wrapped around me. Saturday - breakfast served in bed to my Soul Mama and a stroll to Oso, followed by a visit to Bent Over Leather for our weekend essentials. teeheehee. Later that evening we parted ways to go on Hawt Dates! Her's was up a mountain in a hottub and mine was at the Royal for Sobeit Union and Jitterbug. My first ever 1st date with a woman. I'm not really the dating type. I find it so uncivilized. Despite that, I enjoyed myself. The show was amazing and we had fun sexy dancin' and flirting with the fags in Queer Corner. A sweet first kiss ended my Saturday evening as I floated off to bed. Sunday - naughtiness and whiskey!!! Amanda and I did a photo shoot in the afternoon for the Anti-Prom being held in the Spring. It's a Fetish Ball and we played dress up and got nasty for our photographer. It was my first time doing a photo shoot and the first time my bodacious ass is going to be plastered all over the Kootenays!! Sunday evening - I went to my first 'Whiskey Sunday'. It used to be a regular event back in the day. Did you ever go Tamara? Whiskey and word games. You know the game...you write a sentence, then fold the paper, then the next person draws a picture and so on. The game started with eloquent sentences and cute pictures and ended with references to whiskey, nipples, sex and penises. After a game like that the sexual tension is high. The only alternative? A massive, full on, carpet wrestlin'/pillow fight. I've never seen anything like it. WHAT A FABULOUS WEEKEND!

Magic

~Belle~ — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 02:17:21 GMT

When I utter the word "love" to you. I am sharing all my past experiences, pains and pleasures associated with that word. As the word travels through the air to enter your ears, it triggers all your past experiences, pains and pleasures associated with that word. The magic is the moment we both realize that we understand what the other is saying.

Pouring out of me

~Belle~ — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 21:28:20 GMT

I go through these phases where the words flow and I am scribbling on tattered scraps of paper. Then I find myself frantically trying to locate all the pieces of me that I've strewn haphazardly throughout my world. I was posting a friend this morning and I realized that I've been single now for 6 years. I always jokingly tell people that I'm on a "Catch and Release Program". Truth be told, I'm not so eager to open my heart again. It wasn't a pretty picture. Disfunctional would be putting it mildly. I learnt a lot from that relationship. I have a lot of boundaries now. This blog has been a safe space where I can express my feelings, needs, wants, etc. I'm finding more and more of myself in my own words and in the words of people in my life. I started collecting quotes shortly after I ended that relationship. It's fun to read them and see how my friends have interpreted my evolution over the years. Here are some of my favorites from my quote book. "Why do we call them X's? Shouldn't we call them Y's?" - J.F. "You're climbing a rope that has been hanging in front of you for 20 years. And you're halfway up. But you have to stop reaching down and trying to drag others from the bottom up with you. They have to climb their own ropes. If you keep reaching down to the bottom, you will slow down your own climb." - Kyle "You are so good that when people throw poo at you, it slides right off and polishes you on the way down." - Shea "It's not the time along you spend with yourself. it's the time alone you spend in your head that's the problem." - Sol "Don't think about opening your heart right away. First - open your mouth, then your legs, then...." - Carl

You have Seduced my Senses

~Belle~ — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 04:03:04 GMT

I long to devour you with my impatient tongue Inhale the musky sweetness of your scent Invade the heat radiating beneath my fingertips Witness desire reflected in your eyes Dance to the exquisite melody or our sighs