I have been pondering for a long time... I have come to an insight within myself that I wish to share with all. These are my own thoughts and I ask you to contemplate them for yourself and see if they ring true for yourself.

I have found that my life is about service. Service to myself and service to god/goddess that exists within everyone including myself. The question that arises from this answer; Is in what ways can I be of service? I've been finding wonderful and creative ways that I can serve the people I'm surrounded by, while also being in service to myself. For example I just found a new job picking grapes in the Okanagan, BC. This provides me an opportunity to be of service to the farmer that grows the grapes, to the people that drink the wine from which the grapes are made, and also to myself by earning a wage from which I can use the funds to find more ways to be of service. Not to mention being of service to the earth by promoting the growing of grape vines and cultivating fruits of the earth. I believe that a portion(by no means exhaustive) of the formula for abundance comes when you maximize the number of people you can be of service to such that the service you are offering impacts them in a powerful way. What I mean by powerful way is when you impact their lives the most with the least amount of effort. An example, lets say I develop a simple computer application that people can use everyday, the more people that install that application the more abundance I will have in my life, the more the people use the application the greater impact it has on their lives, the more people they tell about it, thus expanding the user base. Being of service can be as simple as saying hello to a person not expecting it to dedicating your entire life to being of service to god/goddess self.

Wow what a Entheos Festival. Intense realizations, activations, cosmic interactions and galactic communications. I don't think that I have ever felt so free. I felt like an eagle soaring through the sky. Absolutely no inhibitions to express the true nature of self without fear of judgment. Later on I felt a little embarrassed about my absolute level of pure expression, excitement for life and enthusiasm. Reflecting on what it means to have a level of perception of pure honesty and instantaneousness manifestation of thought. It takes the ability to trust that the true nature of your being is good and to flow with that nature such that your living truly in the moment. As we go through our lives we build up all this past karmic experience from which we use to help us make decisions. I think that the trouble comes when we make a mistake we create a fear within ourself that we will make the same mistake again. But rather than fearing the mistakes of life one should acknowledge the existence of the difficult path within life and choose to create an awareness of ability to choose the path with higher levels of consciousness. That way your trusting the nature of your being rather than creating a fear of ourself.

There is an interrelated poem that I have been quoting recently.

The name of the Poem is “Autobiography in Five Chapters.”

“1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost . . . I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.”

This Poem is from the book “The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche


The absolute beauty of everything on this earth brought tears to my eyes. I came to the realization that heaven is on earth and that we create our heaven. We have to be conscious of everything that is done to this earth. Every step we make every plant that exists every bug that flies, every tree that grows and every river that flows. Leave no trace. Every choice you make ask yourself the question. Does this benefit the earth ? Is it better to choose this product over this product, because one is better for the earth. Will it be better for the earth if I do not consume this product? These are the questions we should be asking ourself. We have a responsibility to be integral to the health of this earth. We have a responsibility to start taking a perspective which spans beyond our lifetimes one that thinks about the future generations. And the decedents of the future generations. Because every choice that we make affects those generations so it is absolutely integral that we infuse as much conscious choice into each thought.

The relationships that have been manifesting within my life are so amazing. I've begun to take a perspective of realizing that the relationships that I'm creating right now are eternal and go beyond this lifetime. Our souls are entangled within the web of existence and non-existence. I used to think that when you get old all of your friends slowly leave you one by one until your death. But now I know that death is not the end of the friendship that exists between two souls. That connection transcends the realm of existence and non existence. Viewing the relationships that I have within this light has created a new found appreciation for every act of kindness towards my peers.

First of all I would like to explain a little about what I mean by karmic cycle. When I refer to karmic cycle I mean the cycle of birth, death and rebirth. Through out the life of a cycle within the life of everything there is this process from which there is a birth and death, at a point in between the birth and death of the cycle a seed is dropped, from this seed the birth of a new cycle will be born.

Over the last week there has been a lot of conscious choice infused into wither I wish to continue to propagate the karmic cycle of things in my life. Its like I get this feeling within myself trying to birth the karmic cycle of the seeds that have been sowed of all the past karmic seeds. Because I have gone down that path so many times before; But I have the innate ability of free choice. If I'm able to be conscious of this feeling and deny it the satisfaction of continuing the cycle, then I have begun a pathway to a new cycle. Each and every time I continue down this new cycle a seed will be dropped into my unconscious to choose this path again. Then the repetition of the cycle begins again, the old patterns continue to try and assert there power by creating a feeling or an urge to begin the cycle that it has gone down so many times before. It gets easier and easier to denying the propagation of the old cycles and choose the new cycle from which conscious choice has been infused.

I'm finding this to be a general principal within my life from the cycles of the interactions between myself and others, to the cycles of smoking. I quit smoking on last Saturday its been six days since my last cigarette. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest karmic cycles to quit, because every time I smoked a cigarette it dropped a karmic seed in my unconscious to smoke another cigarette, if I add up all the karmic seeds that have been dropped in my unconscious it would be (9 years * 365 days * ½ a pack a day * 20 cigarettes per pack) 32850 karmic seeds. That is how many times I am going to have to deny that karmic cycle its path. Mind you it gets easier and easier to do each and every time I do it. The first is the hardest to do the next is the second hardest...

I'm really enjoying this new cycle with living at the point street house. There are so many great people to interact with. I feel more independent within my choice in who I spend my time with because my options are limitless. This reminds me to be mindful of my path in discovering its perfectly ok to be by myself. I struggle with this sometimes, There is only so much time I can spend by myself before I get the urge to seek out companions. Living at the point street house has been great in the sense that now that I have an abundance of people to relate to, I'm able to realize that this is true all the time and it is only my perception that I do not have people to relate to. The more and more I think about it the more and more I realize that I have infinite people to relate to by relating to myself. Rather than seeking out the companionship of others I seek out companionship within myself; Trust that the companionship with others will follow when I'm within myself.

Breath

This weekend has been an opportunity for growth and self reflection. Keeping a promise to myself to be present with my body and avoiding External factors(Drugs and stimulants). I've come to the relization that there is nothing outside of myself that will create true happiness within me. Everything that I need for my happiness exists within myself. With this realization I've been experiencing a lot of frustration with my current way of life. I'm finding that a lot of the activities that I do, I seek out external influences to satisfy my needs for happiness when what truly serves my needs is being present with myself. This has created a need for change within my life. I can no longer live in this way. It is one thing to realize the lessons of life and it is another to have the courage to exact the change necessary to implement them.

Another lesson that was touched upon through the conversations with a dear friend Adam; Is that death should not be feared, rather that death is a process of life. Releasing attachments to ones current existence is a difficult task. When one releases the attachment to the fear of death they are truly able to live in the moment. They realize that life is not about dieing it is about the journey of the karmic cycle of birth, death and rebirth. To be satisfied with the current current state of your existence and release attachments to the outcomes of processes in life. for example by releasing my attachment to the outcomes of the creation of a relationship with someone I'm able to live in the moment with that person and should my existence end within that moment I would by happy with state of the relationship within my life because I have no expectations of the outcomes with that relationship.

It is all about the journey and living in the moment. At least for this moment.

A insight that I had this weekend is that nothing that you take externally to enhance your life/experience of the moment doesn't already exist within yourself. It's your natural state of being to be enlightened and vibrating at a high frequency such that nothing externally will bring you higher than you are in the moment. I find that even though this is true it is still important to explore new realms of higher consciousness through external influences to know what is like to be in those higher states of being. Because it our natural state of being to try and be at the higher states of consciousness we have to be careful not to fall into addiction of external influences to raise our vibration to the higher levels of consciousness and try to get there our selfs by learning to attune our selfs to those higher vibrations.

I'm finding the more and more I look at my addictions I'm finding the reasons why I'm doing them. I've been more aware of when I get that feeling to resort to addiction. I feel like numbing an emotion thats coming up. I have denial in my mind that the emotion exists and I wish to suppress it by resorting to distracting myself from it through my addiction. I'm finding that this is an immature way of dealing with my emotions and I'm not being true to myself.