What Kind of Empath Are You? - You scored as a Judge

You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander
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This is one of those silly quizzes that feels uncomfortably true. I came across it, and Jad Alexander's work, about a month ago. I don't agree with everything he says, but overall it's a very good schema for describing empathy. And um, yeah, I'm avoiding discussing it... ok.

So. This set of characteristics has been good in some ways. It explains how I can look at budgets for organizations I'm not involved in, point at a line item, and say "something seems wrong here". In one case, what was wrong was a million-dollar fraud being perpetrated on the Portland Public School system. It had been going on for years. In another case, it uncovered a phony credit card fraud involving a very large bank. No idea on how big that one was - the bank was rather reticent when it came to details.

Unfortunately, it's come with a cost. If you're a judge empath, you're *compelled* at times to make a judgment . It won't always be right. We're humans, after all, and we project outwards as well. "Judge not lest you be judged" is impossible - it becomes "Judge right, because you will be judged by the same standards". At times, you will feel compelled to "blow the whistle", regardless of personal costs - like your job(s). It makes you seem arrogant (well, more arrogant, anyway *wry grin*) - "who are you to judge me?". It leads to painful , obsessive self-examination.

If you're me, at least, it gives you a deep understanding of "Satan"' as meaning accuser or prosecutor. False accusations are a major transmission of evil. And "evil" is not a concept I like , much preferring the adage "don't blame on malice what you can blame on stupidity, and don't blame on stupidity what you can blame on an upset stomach". The world is not black and white, it's in color, and "good vs evil" is just too one-dimensional.

The heaviest cost, though, has been in relationships. Several people, including two ex-wives, would willingly testify that being involved with me can feel like an Inquisition at times. Because empathy works largely on a non-conscious level, what I've tended to "read" are usually things my partner is actively in denial about. And because they are in denial, it feels like a false accusation. Sometimes it is - if I'm projecting. More often, time shows that it's true to a large degree. And sometimes it's uncovered flat-out conscious lies that I've desperately wanted to believe were true. In any event, empathy by definition means that speaking what you believe to be true in circumstances like these often causes pain. And if the judging person is an empath, he or she will feel not only their own pain, but the other person's as well.

Hopefully, recognizing that this is part of me will lead to better choices in partners. God willing... and the creeks don't rise.
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Addendum: I scored almost as highly as a "Healer", "Artist", and "Shaman". It might seem at this point that "Healer" and "Judge" are almost mutually exclusive. And yet..... it is not the job of a judge to convict, but to determine the truth. To tell someone that it is NOT their fault if they are falsely accused. To vindicate the innocent.