words blah blah

elk bone and a windy beast

desertspider — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:18:10 GMT

transition again. rising from some kind of flame. forget i'm a woman sometimes. act like a man w/ all the ego dismembering emptying dying to stillness. but she says, elk bones are good for penetration or for re-membering the strength of a woman which isn't empty penetrate annihilate it's receive sensual nipples pleasure sex feel taste smell chocolate body hot pleasure warm full receive yes love embody love. so there. says elk bone.

love

desertspider — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:49:04 GMT

it's true. i'm a skeptic. and yet passion ignites clarity breaks through illusions stimulates fogs and i breathlessly humble say yes. fuck yes. i do. trust it. it's crazy. so i suppose that's why it works.

diffuse

desertspider — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:13:24 GMT

the wind is fucking annihilating. i'm losing my self again in winter fuck. where does 'it' go? what does it become or is it always come undone? no matter. drum beats me down and center. drum beats me in body. in earth body. primal body. strong body. secure body. home body. animism body. this body an animal. this body a sacred gate. this body a lion. prancing. this body holding me tight. diffuse dissapears. heat rises. i am snake. in the sun. i am branch in the breeze. i am tears in the pond. i am koi. i am that willow tree and the bees inside the cottonwood. i am that hawk circling high above me. i am not the dead. poison transmuted she emerges instead.

songline

desertspider — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 01:04:19 GMT

for the birds: i am trying to remember. i heard you today tapping the wood. do or do not, there is no try. and so i am remembering by embodying the song of that dream i once knew

remembering why i like the prairie

desertspider — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:44:32 GMT

it is high desert and it is foothill and it is prairie grass i roll in it i sit on it i love it! i love this skyland golden november prairiefoothillhighdesert beauty. i love the skeletons of yucca. and the milkpod boats and that tree behind me. i love the way the grass tickles my ankles when it gets in my socks. and the prickly thistle-y things that stab my knees. this land held me today for a long, ,long while man, did i weep. i did not know that i could love this earth as much as i did today. i love the broken trees and the tall cottonwoods and the fact that it is dark way below beneath me. i love this land. i love what she does to me. i love making love in this way.

my kind of sky

desertspider — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 00:46:18 GMT

my kind of sky carves deep it is expansive and it feels good. my kind of sky teaches the normalcy of war with its unexpected torrential downpours my kind of sky carves into my mind already wilded by sky my kind of sky breaks open the stones who sing the song of peace from the knowing that cuts deep

flying over the charnel lands

desertspider — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:27:47 GMT

this is the place where i am most at home. it's a bit uncomfortable to live in the charnel lands. i'm learning that i can fly here. i also have a wildcat ally. the goddess of the river ganges tends the dead. i am rooted, like a wintering tree. and i navigate the sky. here dunes breathe and i sail effortlessly ...

the magpies

desertspider — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:15:50 GMT

it was sincerely still today. i was on the footpath on the western edge of boulder, colorado, known as mt. sanitas. so aware of color during this color-less time. everything mostly heather and beige, but little bursts of a transforming sprig, completely burnished gold. and in the ivy, some hints of eggplant. rust here and there. the magpies were gathering. i stopped to listen. they too, like the wind were quiet. i counted five. a sixth appeared. and then a seventh. the eighth is the one who flew closest to my face, spreading her wings and showing me the delicate white and blue of her back. i wanted to pluck her long tail feathers. they were graceful today. calm. quiet. eating bits of brush and seed not yet fallen to the earth. i'm reclaiming my power again. funny how death took me for a ride. to a place where power is inverted. to a place where focus is scattered and consolidated in the same breath. to a place where stillness is the best medicine, but i find the agitation of restlessness. and those normally noisy magpies today showered me with their grace and stillness, teaching me that if they can, so to can i. the image here is from my dear friend, and roommate, eleanor. she asked if i would take it, two days before she transitioned. she was 93. an incredible artist/poet/writer. this image was behind her head when she transitioned. it makes me feel safe.