When I look in the mirror, I see a Douchebag

Tracy — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 19:27:29 GMT

Have you ever seen that old SNL Skit? It goes like this: There is a fancy english party...18th century. The Butler, Garrett Morris, announces the guests. "Earl of Sandwich" "Lord Salsbury" "Lord Worcestershire" and finally "Lord and Lady Douchebag" who get greeted with a "Well, well, well.. I was just asking Lord Sandwich, "Where the devil are those Douchebags?" This is kind of hard to explain, but, these days, every party Don and I go to....Every club we visit. We walk in the door and feel like this old couple making small talk...or occationally big talk...but never quite making the deeper connections. "What have you been working on, Lady Remmington?" "I must compliment you on the meat, Lord Salsbury" I dunno...I'm just always reminded of this skit and I can't seem to snap out of it. Sometimes when looking into the eyes of someone I respect and want to feel a connection with, It will hit me....I can tell that they're lookin at a Douchebag and there's nothing I can do about it.. And that's a shame, because I like these folks A LOT! I just have no idea how to share the moment like I used to. I need a change. If you want to read, the skit is here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79tdouchebag.phtml

A few things I’ve done. In no particular order

Tracy — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 08:31:03 GMT

*Had a beer with Ron Palillo (guy who played Horshack on welcome Back Kotter *Broke my ankle *Spent an evening afraid that I set fire to Nina Hagen’s house *Watched someone “channel” a dolphin *Sneezed eggs in Julia Robert’s hair *Accidentally got trapped in a Harrods hallway with my husband, Monica Lewinsky, 2 bagpipers and 50 reporters *Watched an industrial vegetable steamer explode *carrots/peas/corn-so beautiful* *Made a 23 foot nose picking machine with my husband *Stood alone in the street between the 18th ST. gang and the Guardian angels before a big bloody fight *Puked at an imperial butt wizards concert *touched a whale *Had a date with Timothy Leary *Had my tits literally drooled on by El Duce from the mentors *Danced in a strip club on my 18th birthday *Helped build a Buddhist temple *Jumped into the middle of a knife fight between drug dealers *Tried to keep my own stalker out of jail * Northridge earthquake *Crossed the country by train *Had a job as an Obituary writer for a major newspaper *Buried both parents to become the oldest living member of my family *Been locked in an office with tv reporters banging on the door demanding to be let in. *climbed 364 steps of a Mayan pyramid and smoked a cig on the 365th step *Wiped someone else’s ass *Seen Elvis Live *Sat in the second row at a Red Sox game right across from the pitchers mound *Yaz AND Boomer * *Came close to biting it on Space Mountain *The Odeon

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When I look in the mirror, I see a Douchebag

A few things I’ve done. In no particular order