seeing red

am also now at www.akaisilks.blogspot.com cuz its easier to sign in




so what do you think happens when you are down to your last bit of red and were too lazy last week to bother ordering more (always with that thought in the back of the head that hey if i run out i cant work so i'll just go to the beach) . i decide, despite the brain squishing migraine that has clobbered me since a nap yesterday, to dye a few things so that tomorrow won't be as busy. i have two bottles of red left but of course that won't go far when i just got an order for 10 katerina veils.




we haven't put up a tent yet, just tied a tarp that has snapped the cords twice due to strong winds. i could hear my husband outside yesterday beating the hell out of something and i assumed he was hammering something into place to tie down the tarp again. it snapped. again. it's still fastened on one side, the leeward side, and it's blowing like a bitch in the wind. snapping. flapping. driving me nuts. but you won't see me get on a ladder to fix it. i should stay out of high places.




so being the brainiac i pulled the loose end down and weighted it with the fallen ladder. surely that will hold it. i'm lucky i didnt get my head sliced off when it lifted up. no really i did graduate college.




i weighted it down again with tubs of water. i'm lazy and wanted to get my work done. please note i dont have to dye today. it can wait. but i like punishment.




my arrangement was secure and i was feeling cocky and dyed a few different things, saving the red stuff til last. two katerina veils were reaching perfection when the tarp snapped in the wind again, first dragging the tub of water across the lawn then spilling it. the red dye that had of course been sitting next to it flipped in the air, sprayed me and the tarp, and now the tarp was flapping in the wind, covered in red. it was red rain. it was someone's blood. i was ready to kill. i wanted to beat my neighbor and his dog. i knew they were next door watching and laughing. assholes.




he heard me swear. he heard me say the muther of all words. you know the one. "ooohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuudge" except i didnt say fudge. bonus points if you know what movie that is from. here's a hint it's a xmas classic.




to top it off i was rinsing the station with a hose that got out of control and ended up soaking my pants. i knew if i undressed down to my skivvies on the back porch someone would see but i did it anyways. i ate some potato chips to console my battle wounds and looking at the clock, it looks like i have a bit over two hours to wash up, lay down and stretch, and gather myself before picking up the baby

rocky pony

is that the best smile?

comments on purse making

so i'm painting again and want to dick around with a purse set..a small one for small items, a lower end cost item at souvenir price point level and then a fancier one, something larger not quite tote size but a larger purse ..both must be functional. i like making accessories and clothing that is functional.

should have some pics pretty soon, today i'm laid up with ocean related soreness. i busted ass yesterday to get a lot of stuff done in the morning so TY and i could go boogie surf. imagine our surprise when the surf report was completely opposite of what it said, we experience the highest tide we've seen there yet. nice soft barreling but cushiony waves.

i looked down at one point to see a large flat brown/gray back. at first i thought it was a manta ray. i started stupidly paddling after it and saw that it was a turtle, if i paddled at a decent pace i was able to keep up with him. he was pretty big, not the largest i've seen but he was swimming about five feet below me, closer to the reef. effortlessly. he looked like he was having fun. he was completely oblivious to me and didn't seem to mind i was observing him. a wave crashed on my head and after i surfaced he was gone.

what f'ing planet are YOU from

ah good to be back on tribe where i can swear like a sailor again

this anomalie was perched on top of the rafter in the garage. some call it a praying mantis. i call it the end of the world. if the picture looks blurry to you it's because my hands were unsteady, i was convinced the large bastard would drop down on me.

LOOK at it, it's head is turned LOOKING at me!!! that is MESSED UP.

bugs should be no larger than the foot that can smash it

i wont try to kill it. mostly because i cant reach it. i pray to holy god above it doesnt land on me.

gotta give a little to get a lot

i'm being so stubborn about this whole lease is up in hawaii in five months thing. yeah those that havent read my blogs on myspace lately you're missing nothing. i continue to twist and turn over the same thing.

i couldnt WAIT to graduate nursing school and leave phoenix. yet in five months we have the option of going back. we want to buy a modest, forever type investment in queen creek or an area close enough to phx for family but far enough away from family lol. just kidding mom. there are still nifty little homes in the superstitions area for 85k or less. not granite countertops but i'm happy to have a countertop.

the pulling begins when i look at how nice things are right now. we just started renting this place in hawaii ..the yard is spectacular..i can dye under a tarp, not get eaten alive by skeets like at the other rental house, the cats dig it, it's closer to town so more convenient. we love the house..perfect size for us. large office space in back. large deck.

but we have no friends here. we have no family. the beach where we go is not really that great for beginning surfers so we've pretty much stopped going to the beach which is a bummer. yes i know no beach in phx but theres a method to the madness.

i remember dreaming of quiet nights in jungle, of having land in hawaii, perfect weather daily, eating papaya for breakfast.

but again the problem is..it's sooo isolated. if it were cheap and easy to fly with a baby then no problem. if we had not chosen to have a baby this might be a very different place. but we want more babies and the isolation is proving to be tough . it's tough to get off the island. and we both have a serious travel bug

if we maintained our current income level which realistically it would probably improve in phoenix due to lower cost of living and possibly higher wages/more job opps for TY, we could pay off a house in 3 to 4 years. comfortably. we dont have car payments and wouldnt go out and get any (beaters are great) no student loans, no college for kids yet (besides they can work thru college like we had to) ..

if we were in phx for a sentence of five years or less we would own a home in an area where my family will probably live forever. i highly doubt Moki would ever leave phx. he'd have a home to live in when he's older once we cack.

phx has an awesome airport and we can be to vegas, san francisco, or costa rica in five hours or under. last i looked it was about 235 rt on a good sale day to fly to cancun. phx itself kinda sucks but in two hours you can be out of phx in the lovely red rock country or in flagstaff, or browsing the missions south off tucson (long lost love of mine)

there would also be things to do in phx. a healthy dose of bellydance related mischief to get into along with drag races, the lakes, hiking the superstitions when its not ungodly hot..and shopping. real shopping with choices.

but veeeery difficult and having to overcome stubbornness to end this lease in five months, not renew it, and give up what we have. hold what you got. nice place. easy life. so what if we dont surf. at least we are near a beach. no beach in AZ.

but

but

but

but the potential of phx and being able to buy something that could be paid off, living rent or mortgage free equals freedom in many ways. we'd commit but we'd be buying future freedom. it's sensible. it's thought out and makes sense. after a few years of doing the same work we do now we can start saving for a second home in costa rica. a beach that is closer, a beach that is accessible by car instead of plane way out in the pacific surrounded by nothing else (i know thats the beauty of it) but peru is right there..south america..wow. geographically closer to other opps.

to give up a goal that has been met, to step backward to move forward. not out of dissatisfaction but for a fascination of what else can we do. we have to give up this beach to acquire another.

welcome back to the island

sometimes one must leave the current island they are on to truly appreciate its uniqueness when they return home.
we arranged a short trip to oahu for zack's birthday..we spent the time in the water and then with friends. i was able to hit carters and get some new clothes for zack. we returned home last night and i was delighted to hear the coqui frogs and feel the cool wetness of the jungle again.

we both realize how far away we live from town..its about a 30 minute drive..not too bad. but i think thats part of the problem of why we feel sorta isolated. but i really love this house and having the ocean right there. so we did some talking ..we are in no rush (i'm not) but if we find a house closer to hilo that is as comfy as this one, for lower rent, we'll consider it. twu's already packing hehe. he's as much a gypsy as i am. i asked him if we could at least hang out here til new years or so, and enjoy whale season right outside our door. you can hear them at night. we are near a trail that leads back in the jungle a ways with many ocean views..whale spotting will be inevitable.

i suppose there would be some benefit to living closer to town. of course saving on gas costs and twu would have less time spent on the road driving. but i dont want to live too close. i'm still not sure if he can talk me into leaving this house. it's just a rental but i really do like it here. we dont even have a lease right now, its month to month..the ultimate freedom. i have my studio set up downstairs already.

it would be nice to have a mosquito free outdoor area for the baby to play. he stood up on his own a few times over the weekend. show off. we were on carpeted floors, i think that's why. this house is all wood and tile so he's probably scared of crashing.

he got to visit with the other babies. he's definitely the slender, fast, athletic one. everyone comments how agile he is. he really likes playing with basketballs or footballs or things that roll. he gives kisses now too, sometimes he sticks his tongue out. i told him its not nice to try to french kiss mommy. he's a happy baby, he squeaks for joy and runs in circles. literally.

so all this talking and travelling and ideas, planning, wishing, wondering..i ask twu well what do we want out of this? to own a home on the beach? we are working towards that. we dont know which beach it will be yet. but we also know its important to have a quality of life while you work for it. right now we have a good quality of life. we just have to remember to enjoy it. we're both so type a. we both work extra hard and want to do more. i think we should island hop every few months just to remember to enjoy right now.

i'd like to be a kept woman

as i'm sitting here with achey back having devoured a quick unsatisfactory meal and i'm still catching up on work, and i stare down at purple toes with chipped nail polish..well tonight i long to be a kept woman

to spend my days playing with my baby and teaching him his alphabet, taking him swimming, feeding him pure organic, napping, walking in sunlight near the water, then having a few hours where i can doll up and spend time doing makeup and hair, dressing nice, matching my shoes and accessories

practicing dance again and maybe music, or creating whimsical art instead of what is needed to be done.

i think it may be nice to let my husband take over for a while, he can be the breadwinner and i'll kick back and try to look pretty. maybe i'll take a hula class or learn how to cook a thai dish. the luxury of time.

he says if we moved to malaysia we could afford a full time nanny (live in). having the extra help is the only thing that would hold me back from having another baby. i'm in love with my boys. i want more. they are my little soul mates. someone to help with the baby? that would change everything.

it's time to move from being the factory worker to the management :)

all tied up

i need to create a new photo gallery on picture trail to post the pics that took oh about three hours to do the other day..rarely do i buckle down and take the time to take pics of gallery items...the bellydance stuff is normally very time consuming (in a good way) and i have to prioritize. but once in awhile i have to take a break from mass production of merkabas and do something for fun

this is Autumn-atic . rich gold, chocolate, burnt sienna, woodsy green..another one i dont want to sell but i know i will. sales feed the habit.

i was able to collect two checks from two separate galleries this week, so i'm now able to purchase more silk clothing goods. it's hard to stay disciplined and wait until something sells before running off to make more. i cant believe i ran out of crepe ruanas. they have been my new love and i have put them on a pedestal especially since they are selling well in the galleries. making these feeds my inner beast. as a good friend says..no rules.

i am having a very special table/stretcher built so that i can paint these and leave them to marinate. right now i have one place to do them so i can only do one at a time..which yes is the way it should be but when you give a gemini a dozen bottles of freshly mixed colors they sort of end up everywhere..the spill of color on one delights the senses and spurs ideas for the next, so mid project i want to run with that idea and see. no such thing as patience. you let it run thru your fingers. i've sat in a hypnotic state with glazed over eyes in a sort of out of body place and seen colors. its very cool

also recently completed some delicately rich crepe de chine scarves, the long wide kind. TY wants to frame them for the new house (if we get it) i have one that i'm working on and have to paint it in series of steps but it is very ...chakra...and that's all i'll say hehheheee

well dammit stop reading and go enjoy your weekend
i love to work on holidays it's when things are most quiet

i dont know whats going to happen

but it will be good

all this multi distributing thing and who carries what and where to shop and should i just turn the akai site into the one and only distribution center (every akai anything except for gallery stuff will go thru the akai site) dunno dunno dunno

but had this idea on how to do things and make it so that there is an 800 number so anyone can call and custom order, place wholesale, etc. the site would be so that if you find the item you like on the site there will be an instant buy button right next to it. i dont like right now that folks find something they like on the site and its difficult to figure out HOW to order it or if i have in stock ..really need to do some work here and figure out a good streamlined way to make it easy for people to instantly purchase in stock and also custom order. i probably lose over 500/usd a month by not accepting custom orders. dumb.

negotiations with IAMED to do, along with other things. just musing out loud. sometimes you have to dump the entire laundry basket of stuff on the floor and re-sort it. a massive web site change again. seriously hiring employees. basically mash this sand castle and let the water bring in new sand and start over. fun!


chant Ayahuasca

shhhheeeeeeyit

why do some people email me saying they dont have enough money to buy one of my fire veils and could i recommend someone who makes it cheaper????????????? no i dont own fire but fire is a signature design, i do it and i do it well and to have wasted the time to even comment back to this person.

sticks head in sand

this recent burst of energy(not the aggravation from above ) but this lifing of energy over the past few days is almost deafening in its power..everyone i get around for a few minutes, their orbits start spinning too. my phone has not stopped ringing but i'm desperately trying to get out the door with post office stuff...gaaaaa