Originally posted Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I'm grieving the loss of my Jezebel. She survived lymphoma as a kitten and stayed healthy until this year. I was forced by circumstance to euthanize her today.

If you have an animal euthanized & can't afford to have your pet buried or cremated, they don't just dispose of the remains. They pay for a communal cremation at Pet's Rest in Colma where all the ashes are spread in a meadow that you can go visit! Until the remains are picked up by Pet's Rest, they are kept in a morgue PHS refers to as, "Heaven."

The staff was really kind & let me take all the time I needed. I took a long time, believe me! They were locking up when I left.

The process was kind of interesting. Unlike many vet hospitals they do not give a sedative first. They did it at my request, but afterward I realized it wasn't necessary.Because they didn't deliver the injections through a vein, there wasn't that sudden shock of death.

It took a long time. In Jezebel's case, about 40 minutes & they had to administer a second injection. This is very different than what I'm used to. It's time consuming, but an incredibly peaceful transition. I highly recommend it if you want to hold your animal in your lap and let go slowly.

It's been so long since I had to end the life of any of my own animals. I've regularly assisted with many animals I loved dearly that belonged to other people. I'm used to being stoic & supportive and grieving later in private. I'm still grieving over the loss of my dear friend, "Little," who is the cat I'm holding in my profile picture! I almost forgot how badly it rips your guts out when it's your baby!

I'm blessed despite the sadness. A friend insisted on paying for the cremation so I'll have the ashes at home! I guess it's true that there's always a rainbow somewhere, but the next few days will be extra tough. So many things I need to attend to, but I don't think I'll accomplish much!

www.peninsulahumanesociety.org/