Control is a funny thing. Everyone must exercise a certain amount of it in their lives to interact well with others: control over emotions, control over the checkbook and most importantly bladder control. Too often you hear people say, “God’s in control of my life, whatever happens is His will.” I disagree.

God has given us a wonderful gift: free will. Free to love, free to choose, free to decide. We make choices everyday, and we also know there will be a consequence to our choices. They are as simple as choosing right from wrong, or as complex as what to order off the menu of Elena’s Mexican Restaurant. If there weren’t free will then why must we think about anything? Do as you think God wills us to, and no worry about the outcome --- ergo, eat whatever you want from Elena’s, its God’s will you have a fat ass.

So, who really is in control of your life? You, God, or someone else? You allow others to have an influence on your actions, reactions and thoughts. It is your life, given to you by God… and we all know there are consequences to your actions… God made that pretty clear to us in Exodus.

I have been told I am a control freak… a “Type A” personality. I’m not so sure. I concede that there are two things I cannot tolerate --- and they are control issues.

1. I do not like the feeling that outside events can take over my life, things of which I have no control over. (Hurricane Rita, and events that happened during that time is a good example of that… but I only allowed that to consume me for about 2 weeks. Then I decided it was long enough… and took control once again)

2. I do not like knowing that I have been manipulated, used as a pawn… unwittingly allowing someone else to control my reality. Perception is reality, and the idea that someone else has had the ability to pull strings as to blur my vision of the world around me hurts me deeply.

I am a proud person, with her own set of confidence issues. The thought that someone has been “superior,” over me --- seeing and knowing I’m actively engaged in my “reality” all the while knowing that my reality was fabricated by him or her… is dishonest. I have been played, thinking I have control or power.

When it comes to controlling people, there is no instrument better than lies. People live by beliefs, and beliefs can be manipulated. Is it true, therefore, that the power to manipulate beliefs is the ultimate power? The only thing that counts?

When asked to describe myself, I reply: “I am a person with many passions…. My friends are very dear to me – they inspire me. I am open, trusting, flirty, and fun…”

I am someone that loves to make new friends, and I love to learn from others. To become a close friend, a confidant to me means I have put a lot of trust in you, faith in you. And that is a very obvious thing --- you cannot mistake it. If your desires are to enter into a friendship for something different, then you have the obligation to define the rules, not allow my reality to continue to be skewed. We each control 50% of the relationship… and I don’t want your dishonesty to manipulate 100% of it.

Maybe what I need to do is examine where the blame needs to be, on me. I choose to be open, to be trusting, to seek out new friendships for the fun of exploring, learning and growing. Most people are observers, not seekers. Most people are reserved, not “out there.” Maybe what I pride myself as being is the very thing that causes me grief.

“Reality Check!” “ I’m just being real.” “ I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” I hate these words!!! They are limiting, constricting and frustrating to me. In my eyes, the person that utters these words has evil bad-guy powers ---- the power to crush dreams, the power to stifle growth, the power to undermine the potential outcome. I have a choice, to listen and believe, or to turn away and explore the world around me playing the game of life, not watching it go by.

It takes a lot of energy, and sometimes a lot of band-aids to take the road less traveled. I choose paths not to be different for the sake of standing out. I do not wake each morning with a smile & say, “How am I going to be different than everyone else today?”

The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is up to us, as creative and active participants in the game of life to re dream our world. The fact of possessing imagination means that everything can be re dreamed. Each reality can have it.

So I thank you, dishonest manipulators of the world! Your puppetry has helped me realize that I need to re access or maybe re dream the real friendships that truly exist in my life.