blog stuff...

Once a STAR Always A STAR???

dilaradances — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 00:51:30 GMT

A little while back I wrote: "... find out this Friday night at West Brook high School's Homecoming game. All former WB Star Drill Team members (25 years worth) will perform at half-time. Me? Yep, I'll be there.... look somewhere between the 40's (that's 40 yard-lines --- not years old!) I'll be the one with the pom pom's tring to recall the correct steps to the dance & try to look cute at the same time ------------- will it work??????? Who knows? But I'll tell you next week. " Well a week turned into a month or so ----- give me a break - been busy working both in Turkey/Texas, and I have many other excuses too ---- blah blah blah.... don't we all? But to answer the question ----- YES!!!!!!!!!! And it was awesome!!!!! No I don't want to travel back to my teen years.... and no it wasn't about reliving the past. But it was about respect --- remebering and recognizing the "alumni". (Would you belive that we were refered to as "VINTAGE Stars"!?!?!?!? -- Too funny) It was nice to see some past school buddies and how they have changed... although there were very few from the 80's --- disappointing. Our dance was fast ----- with pom poms and a high kick as well! Yikes!!! But the 89 women that participated pulled it off well. When we took the field and began, that's when I truly saw how packed the stands were. We had a HUGE audience --- "Wow" I thought. I had forgotten that cool feeling of Texas High school Friday Night Football: the lights, the humid air (we are in SE TX) and hearing the hundreds of kids in the high school band playing behind us. But the best part were the fans in the stands... When the time came in our performance for the high kicks, my first thought was "Oh God, I hope I don't hurt myself." And what happened next almost brought a tear to my eye. The fans jumped to their feet.... honestly. The screams and shouts from the stands were overwhelming. When we 89 women hooked up and began our kicks ----- they went nuts! They continued right up until the end of the dance. "OOOOh, they are soooo nice. Bless their hearts they are being soooo nice to us," I said out loud in the most Southern Texan talk to the girls around me. They too had the same feeling that I did. So, we had our 15 minutes of glory again..... hehehehe and it was worth it - the fretting of forgetting a step, the week of stretching out my leg muscles, and the hoping that no one taller than me would show up. In the end, I did have a minor flub on the field, despite the stretching I learned i will never kick as high as I once did, and yes there was someone there taller than I. But there I was shining on the 49 yard line with 88 other Stars and it was GREAT!!!!

Love this life...

dilaradances — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 03:39:33 GMT

OK, this is not totally original (I had help from one of my t-shirts)---- but it's totally me, don't you think?? (why else would I have spent 40 freakin' bucks on a t-shirt ---- lol!!!) My life is about celebrating the moment and that we're not guaranteed or owed another day and how cool it is that what we hide can actually be the fuel towards our glory and that it's not so bad being proven wrong LOVE THIS LIFE... welcome the blind turn and the possibility that there is no such thing as coincidence and that empathy is incredibly sexy and that it's never too late to pick up a drum, a paintbrush, join a bellydance troupe or join an actor's studio never too late for an apology or to make a new friend LOVE THIS LIFE... you may want to rekindle a past flame or ignite a new one shapeshift from a dreamer to a doer savour the caress of a love long gone --- not crying because it has ended, but smiling because it happened!!! LOVE THIS LIFE... don't find yourself, create yourself celebrate you and your path and enjoy the ride... 'cuz it could go at any second You are in my life... and you help make it rock!

Got Control..... well do ya??

dilaradances — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 14:19:04 GMT

Control is a funny thing. Everyone must exercise a certain amount of it in their lives to interact well with others: control over emotions, control over the checkbook and most importantly bladder control. Too often you hear people say, “God’s in control of my life, whatever happens is His will.” I disagree. God has given us a wonderful gift: free will. Free to love, free to choose, free to decide. We make choices everyday, and we also know there will be a consequence to our choices. They are as simple as choosing right from wrong, or as complex as what to order off the menu of Elena’s Mexican Restaurant. If there weren’t free will then why must we think about anything? Do as you think God wills us to, and no worry about the outcome --- ergo, eat whatever you want from Elena’s, its God’s will you have a fat ass. So, who really is in control of your life? You, God, or someone else? You allow others to have an influence on your actions, reactions and thoughts. It is your life, given to you by God… and we all know there are consequences to your actions… God made that pretty clear to us in Exodus. I have been told I am a control freak… a “Type A” personality. I’m not so sure. I concede that there are two things I cannot tolerate --- and they are control issues. 1. I do not like the feeling that outside events can take over my life, things of which I have no control over. (Hurricane Rita, and events that happened during that time is a good example of that… but I only allowed that to consume me for about 2 weeks. Then I decided it was long enough… and took control once again) 2. I do not like knowing that I have been manipulated, used as a pawn… unwittingly allowing someone else to control my reality. Perception is reality, and the idea that someone else has had the ability to pull strings as to blur my vision of the world around me hurts me deeply. I am a proud person, with her own set of confidence issues. The thought that someone has been “superior,” over me --- seeing and knowing I’m actively engaged in my “reality” all the while knowing that my reality was fabricated by him or her… is dishonest. I have been played, thinking I have control or power. When it comes to controlling people, there is no instrument better than lies. People live by beliefs, and beliefs can be manipulated. Is it true, therefore, that the power to manipulate beliefs is the ultimate power? The only thing that counts? When asked to describe myself, I reply: “I am a person with many passions…. My friends are very dear to me – they inspire me. I am open, trusting, flirty, and fun…” I am someone that loves to make new friends, and I love to learn from others. To become a close friend, a confidant to me means I have put a lot of trust in you, faith in you. And that is a very obvious thing --- you cannot mistake it. If your desires are to enter into a friendship for something different, then you have the obligation to define the rules, not allow my reality to continue to be skewed. We each control 50% of the relationship… and I don’t want your dishonesty to manipulate 100% of it. Maybe what I need to do is examine where the blame needs to be, on me. I choose to be open, to be trusting, to seek out new friendships for the fun of exploring, learning and growing. Most people are observers, not seekers. Most people are reserved, not “out there.” Maybe what I pride myself as being is the very thing that causes me grief. “Reality Check!” “ I’m just being real.” “ I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.” I hate these words!!! They are limiting, constricting and frustrating to me. In my eyes, the person that utters these words has evil bad-guy powers ---- the power to crush dreams, the power to stifle growth, the power to undermine the potential outcome. I have a choice, to listen and believe, or to turn away and explore the world around me playing the game of life, not watching it go by. It takes a lot of energy, and sometimes a lot of band-aids to take the road less traveled. I choose paths not to be different for the sake of standing out. I do not wake each morning with a smile & say, “How am I going to be different than everyone else today?” The worst realities of our age are manufactured realities. It is up to us, as creative and active participants in the game of life to re dream our world. The fact of possessing imagination means that everything can be re dreamed. Each reality can have it. So I thank you, dishonest manipulators of the world! Your puppetry has helped me realize that I need to re access or maybe re dream the real friendships that truly exist in my life.