The Sofia of Magdalene

2009 Nebraska Bellydance Spectacular

divasoma — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:41:52 GMT

For those who have been wondering, the 2009 installment of Nebraska Bellydance Spectacular will be on Saturday, April 25 @ the Hitchcock Theater at Rose Blumkin Performing Arts Center. We anticipate show time to be at 7:30 p.m., but will post specifics as they are available. To keep up with information on this and other Diva Soma sponsored events, please join our Diva Soma discussion group right here on Facebook. Hope to see you at the OEA-nominated event! ;)

Gnosis Studio's Winter 2009 Schedule

divasoma — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:12:29 GMT

New Year is the perfect time to shake things up! Gnosis Studio has added more Bellydance Basics classes to help you shimmy into 2009. We're also adding the much-requested "Belly Kids" classes on Saturdays. Below is our current class schedule. Don't forget to scroll all the way down for great discounts! Gnosis Studio, 6916 Maple St., Omaha, NE 68104 (402) 934-9958 ***Classes resume January 4-10. Happy Holidays*** Current Classes for Jan/Feb/Mar 2009: Mondays 6:45 – 7:45 p.m. Bellydance Level 2 w/ Magdalene 8:00 – 9:00 p.m. Bellydance Basics w/ Magdalene Wednesdays 5:45 – 7:00 p.m. Tribal Fusion Beginners/Intermediate w/ Calliste 7:00 – 8:15 p.m. Tribal Fusion Intermediate/Advanced w/ Calliste 8:30 – 9:30 p.m. Bellydance Level 3 w/ Magdalene (Also check out Basinah's Bellydance Basics @ A.V. Sorensen Community Center, e-mail basinah@divasoma.com for more info.) Thursdays 6:45 – 7:45 p.m. Bellydance Basics w/ Magdalene 8:00 – 9:00 p.m. Bellydance Level 2 w/ Magdalene Saturdays 10:00 -10:30 a.m. Belly Kids ages 3-7 w/ Sapphire Phoenix* 10:45 -11:45 a.m. Belly Kids ages 8-12 w/ Sapphire Phoenix* 1:00-2:00 p.m. Bellydance Basics w/ Mehadi -All classes* meet once per week at the cost of $15 per class, or $40 per month. -SAVE $5 when you register before the 15th of the month prior to your class!!! (eg. Register by 1/15 to pay only $35 for February classes!) -SAVE $20 when you pay for a three-month “Season” of classes!!! Get three months for only $100!!! WE WILL BE UPDATING THE GNOSIS WEB SITE OVER THE HOLIDAY SEASON AND WILL SOON OFFER ONLINE REGISTRATION VIA PAYPAL. PLEASE CHECK BACK OFTEN AT: www.gnosismoves.com *Belly Kids for ages 3-7 is a half-hour class and is priced at $10 per class or $30 per month. To inquire about discounts for Belly Kids Classes, please contact Sapphire Phoenix directly at sapphirephoenix@divasoma.com or leave her a message at (402) 934-9958.

In memory of Bettie Page

divasoma — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:14:12 GMT

I am moved to tears by the death of Bettie Page. Even if you do not recognize her name, chances are you’ve seen her image at some point: her rich, black hair with bangs cut to the brow, her intense, piercing eyes, her muscular, curvy torso, and those legs! Ms. Page is probably the most recognizable of the classic pin-up models, but she is not just some pretty face. I first saw her portraits when a friend developed an interest in Vargas girls and the art of Olivia. There is no way to miss Page in one’s exploration of pin-up art – the sheer number of her images ensure that. But it is her unmistakable presence that captivates the imagination: as if, by some powerful vibration, she could speak to you from a printed page. While the feminist movement was embracing a masculine type of strength to prove women were equal to men, Page displayed a power that was uniquely feminine, but definitely not soft. She was the embodiment of the Wild Woman archetype: uncontained, untamed, and unashamed. Even in a submissive role, she maintained unquestionable power and self-confidence. Her body itself is a testament to feminine power. In nearly every pose, her sculpted muscles rolled like mighty hills. She was curvy and fit; her body was strong, but supple. Unlike the many overly-thin models prevalent today, her figure did not resemble skin stretched over depleted bones. To gaze upon Page is to contemplate a Greek statue! Much of her work is blatantly sexual. There is artistry in her eroticism that comes only from a deep awareness and respect of one’s sensuality. While many religions and philosophies advocate moving away from worldly experiences, Page’s work explores sensation to its depths. The prize is a deeply-rooted understanding of one’s desires, capacities and motivations. Admittedly, I know very little about her biography, it is the icon Bettie Page of which I speak. It is the archetype she embodies which captures the imagination and personifies true feminine strength that, although it is continually squashed, boils like lava at the earth’s core. More than any Oprah or Celine Dion or Martha Stewart, Bettie Page is a role model to women. May we all inherit her legacy now that she has passed. ---Christina “Magdalene” Kadlec For more on Bettie Page, visit www.bettiepage.com

I'd love to catch everyone up....

divasoma — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:55:16 GMT

...but tribe seems to have a problem with posting my photos (even though I've shrunk them tremendously) and I'm just flippin' frustrated. This is why I spend more time on facebook these days. Argh.

"Religulous" makes some good points, but from a pretty biased P.O.V.

divasoma — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:45:25 GMT

Even though I tend to agree with a lot of Bill Maher's points, I wasn't thrilled about his cavalier attitude as he presented them. The point that I took from the movie was that blind faith is not necessarily a healthy thing, and that if we profess to believe in a religion, we should really examine what is driving that belief. Okay, with ya on that one. I've had first hand experience with this type of soul-searching. I was brought up in a traditional Catholic home and remained very adamant in that belief system as I took my first steps into adulthood. I consider myself very fortunate to have had people challenge me along the way. Such challenges made me defend what I believed and, if I could not defend it, really examine if there was a foundation to it. It was a bitter, stinging process, but in the end I really started to differentiate between what I truly believed and what I was taught to believe. I'd like to think Bill Maher is trying to accomplish something similar in this movie. My beef, though, is that he is SO anti-religion that I don't see why anyone who didn't already have his point of view would go see the movie. While I see merit in his "gospel of doubt", I think it blocks out many realms of possibility. For instance, he mocks the idea of speaking in tongues (which, don't get me wrong, is a little out there even for me.) But I could see where the experience of vocalizing, even in jibberish, could be very liberating and cleansing... for some, perhaps "sacred". Not much different than a jazz singer doing "scat" singing. Does that mean people should pass it off as the voice of God? Honestly, I don't think anyone should claim their access to the god-essence is the "one true" voice of God. Even in Christianity we were taught we are created in the image and likeness of God. I think we need to really examine what that means. I think the creative force of the universe pulses through every atom, every cell, everyTHING in existence. If we shut down believeing in all things unexplainable, how can we believe in love, instinct, or other intangibles. Requiring scientfic method on the sacred seems to put a big "ix-nay" on the idea of the universal subconcious (Jung), the nature of reality as it is tied to our perception (existentialism), and the idea that our intentions & emotions influence existence both in the microcosmic and macrocosmic levels. Archetypes and parables can be very powerful. I think what we need to do is move past worrying about whose god is the right one and learn about each other through what these figureheads emcompass. While I've moved on from the religion of my childhood, I still believe in the mysteries of the universe. I think that, just because we know how a human body works, that doesn't make it any less magical. We need to have room for wonderment, to let experiences take our breath away and leave us with a sense that something bigger exists - something that is both in us and yet extends far, far beyond us. There doesn't seem to be room for that in Bill's "Gospel of Doubt", and perhaps he had to take the hardline extreme to get his point across. But I fear, with his polarized presentation, he is likely doing no more than preaching to the choir.

Yallahween 3: Attack of the Zombie Bellydancers

divasoma — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:52:57 GMT

(I can't seem to get this to show up in my events module, so here goes...) Our Halloween, er, Yallahween show is typically our fans' favorite. Come see why on October 18th!!! See the attached photo for details.

Calliste's Tribal Fusion classes @ Gnosis move to Wednesdays

divasoma — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:52:10 GMT

Calliste (Hallie) is moving her Tribal Fusion classes at Gnosis to Wednesday evenings. Below are excerpts from her e-mail about times & class descriptions: Beginners/intermediate: 5:45pm-7:00pm Intermediate/Advanced: 7:00pm-8:15pm Class Descriptions: Beginners/Intermediate class will take you to the next level by teaching leading and following necessary for group improvisation and Basharaat’s intermediate combos, along with warm-up, intermediate isolation drills, and cool-down. Intermediate/Advanced class will take on Basharaat’s more challenging combos and choreographies, and of course we will warm up, drill with a higher level of skill, and cool down. Class Fees: $15 drop-in fee per class Or $45 for September – 5 classes $40 for October – 4 classes $40 for November – 4 classes *Take10% off when you pay for 2 months at a time *Rain Checks – If class is cancelled due to bad weather you will get a coupon that you can use for an upcoming session with Calliste. Coupon value will equal the amount of the class fee you paid. Classes held at:Gnosis Studio6916 MapleOmaha, NE 68104 (402) 934-9958 www.gnosismoves.com

Hangin' more & more on Facebook

divasoma — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 16:53:08 GMT

So, if you're looking for me, that's where I'll be. Couldn't figure out how to use my stage name there, so I am plain old Bohemian girl "Christina Kadlec" if you'd like to look me up. Also, join our Diva Soma Belly Dance discussion group or have silly fun with me on Mystubenmyspec group. I love tribe, but all the outages have kind of ruined the tribe experience for me. Of course, you can always catch me by e-mail at magdalene@divasoma.com or keep up with us at www.divasoma.com or www.gnosismoves.com

Rising from the Ashes

divasoma — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:07:40 GMT

Lately, it's felt like I'm living the phrase "no good deed goes unpunished." I've thrown myself a pretty decent pity party, but it is time to be done with that. It is up to me to make some changes. Destruction is the mother from which new opportunities are born, right? I've changed my phrase to "for today, just for today, what is a small positive step I can take?" It is digustingly sappy, I know, and a week ago I would not have been ready to hear it. I think my full spectrum lamp & a few good jogs have helped... as well as giving myself permission to consider alternatives. I've decided that today I am going to make the following positive steps: -I'm going to put some feelers out for a new job that will allow me to spend more time at the studio and gets me closer to my goals. -I'm going to spend at least a little time seeing what I'd need to do to get some grants and/or loans for the studio. -I'm going to take a walk over lunch and enjoy this gorgeous fall weather. -I'm going to catch up a few things at my desk here at work so that I can confidently say I am doing my part. -I'm going to focus on & enjoy my students and troupe members who genuinely enjoy dancing. -I'm going to give Ryan and the kitties big hugs & kisses when I get home. It's not a lot, but for today - just for today - I can make the choice to take positive steps.

VOTING SEASON: CHOOSE BELLYDANCE!

divasoma — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:39:56 GMT

Charity (Anahata, Emerald Eye Photography) submitted a picture of Benu from Nebraska Bellydance Spectacular into a contest by IAMED. It is in the final 25!!! Please go vote right now and let's put Nebraska bellydancers and Emerald Eye Photography on the map! www.bellydance.org/photo_co...ndex.html The photo is called "Benu Beauty". While you're in the voting mood, please visit www.oea-awards.com to nominate "Nebraska Bellydance Spectacular" by Various Artists as the best dance production in the Omaha Entertainment Awards. And tell your friends to do the same! ;)

Dove's "Evolution" revisited

divasoma — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:28:19 GMT

Because I think everyone should see this at least once, if not a hundred times: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

My baby turned 1 yesterday

divasoma — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:59:02 GMT

They grow up so fast don't they? I can't believe it was a year ago that we had our grand opening. I have considered closing the doors several times, going back to a life with fewer worries and more money. At one point I started thinking about an exit strategy, but when I actually went to initiate it, I realized that I am just not willing to give up yet. Little by little, she is getting her wheels. We now have two bellydance instructors, two tribal fusion instructors, African dance, drumming, and ballroom instructors who offer private lessons. And the occasional yoga class. And of course, lots and lots of Diva Soma rehearsals. :)

Little Victories

divasoma — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:49:16 GMT

Ah, it's the little things......... isn't it! I'm very proud of myself: last week I was going to tea (I know, I thought it sounded awfully hoity-toity at the time, too) with a couple friends I haven't seen in a long time. It was kind of an emotional day, as a lot of things have been very trying lately, and the meeting itself was a little unsettling. Anyway, I saw this adorable travel mug - and I'd been wanting to get a travel mug for a while - that had a pink background and two kind of modern-looking cat images on it. Very cute. Now, being an emotional buyer, I was tempted to snatch it up right there and then. HOWEVER, I took a breath and said, "Christina, you have enough to buy this right now, but you do not have much money to get through the week. Won't you feel better if you wait? If you still want it after you get paid, you can go get it." Not so long ago, a very spoiled Christina would have said "screw that, I deserve this" and bought it anyway. But I have been very proud of the way I'm managing my money lately and want to continue being responsible. And, I've identified that being low on funds is a major contributor to my depression expressing itself, so I really want to take care of myself by making sure to not leave myself high-and-dry. So today, since I waited, and because I decided I still really want the mug, I went and got it!!! I have to say, it is much more satisfying buying it when I know it will not put me in a crunch. We have to celebrate the little victories in life, right?

Excited - so excited - for Midwest Bellydance Challenge

divasoma — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:49:08 GMT

Since the line up was posted, I've taken a few moments to check out my competitors on You Tube - well, a few of the ladies anyway - and I am more excited than ever because a) now I feel o.k. about being able to "hang" with the dancers who will also be there and b) I CANNOT WAIT to see some of these beautiful dancers LIVE!!!! Any anxious feelings I had are melting away. I cannot wait for this experience! I can't wait to soak in all of the talent and new ideas that I'm sure to encounter. I think this will be the shot in the arm I've been needing!!! Whoo-hoo!!!

Rearranging at Work Provides Needed Boost

divasoma — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:26:21 GMT

Per my advice, my boss decided to paint my office (the reception area) a cozy beige color. I took the opportunity to convince him that it would be a good time to flip my desk around and rearrange a little. He was reluctant, but I think now that things are somewhat in place, he is pretty happy with the changes. And so am I! I had gotten really stagnant and unhappy. Not because there's anything wrong my job, but I don't know, I was just really not feeling it. Anyway, this is the shot in the arm I needed. I am much more content and much more motivated. I feel recharged and (although I'm blogging right now) feel more ready & willing to do work instead of playing on the internet all day. :) I'll have to get some pics to post so you all can bask in the glory of my semi-redecorated office, too. (Now if I could only get him to replace the carpet life would be exceptional!!!)

but... but.... what about Christian Bale?

divasoma — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:55:21 GMT

Okay, so I got to see The Dark Knight yesterday and, yes, it was a great flick. But here's my beef - everyone's making such a big deal about Heath Ledger, who had a really, really great performance - but I think they're missing the other actors that made this movie really come together. Christian Bale (I remember him from "Swing Kids" and he was a little hottie then, too), Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine - these guys are no slouches! Not to mention the complexities of the script!!! It really kind of makes you think about the blurred line between hero and villain. The character Harvey Dent says, "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain." I think that is the theme of the story, and it is conveyed brilliantly. Although, I have to say, the hype about how "dark" it was was exactly that in my eyes: hype. It's no darker or more horrifying than any other movie I've seen. I suppose if you grew up with Adam West, then yeah, you might be a little shocked. But was anyone really expecting that after "Batman Begins"? I doubt it. Anyway, that's my $.02. What do you think?

More empathy for Jesus.......

divasoma — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:38:26 GMT

Do you suppose Jesus, as he watched his followers argue about details, ever just stepped back, crossed his arms, shook his head and said, "You guys are completely missing the point"? Do you suppose the bellydance goddess does the same? I just get so frustrated with all the stupid little things people zero in on that I want to say, "Can't we just dance?" I guess it is the same as anything: the mundane draws us back from perfect being. It is just so aggrevating. This dance can be such a portal into greater realms of being, great experiences of self and of the universe! And yet, here I am learning that my dancers are nitpicking on each other, or they don't want to talk to me about conflicts because they don't want to "bother" me, or they are so busy worrying about costume changes that I wonder if they ever just enjoy the dance. I have to admit, I am losing my enjoyment of it. Well, I take that back - I'm finding it again. I'm adamantly learning ways to shrug off the petty-ness & silliness and just dance for myself, for beauty, for expression. But my heart breaks that something that could be so healthy, beautiful, and restoring gets turned into just another reason to whine & complain. I guess, in the big picture, the only one who I can change is me. And, as evidenced in my Jesus metaphor here, maybe I did go into teaching bellydance with a bit of a savior complex. "I'll show them the way to feel good about themselves!" LOL The only problem with trying to be a messiah is that you end up losing yourself in the quest to help others find themselves. So, who rescues the rescuer? I think the rescuer must save herself, and recognize that it is up to others to save themselves, too. No wonder Jesus had close friends that he worked with more intimately than the large group of apostles. It makes me wonder: the church I grew up with bragged about being "apostolic", as in, founded in the tradition of the apostles. Maybe that is not such a good thing? Maybe the apostles were the ones on Jesus' fringes, and they just got heard and remembered because they were the squeakiest wheels. Something to think about.............

Dropping Out with Ran Prieur

divasoma — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:01:10 GMT

In trying to stall at work today, I happened upon a couple old favorites: Daniel Quinn's web site www.ishmael.org and this essay by Ran Prieur http://ranprieur.com/essays/dropout.html Do I agree with everything he writes? Not necessarily. But I think it brings up some really good things to think about in terms of what we "need" and what we "want". Many of our needs are actually luxuries that we've convinced ourselves we can't live without. I think for me, the essay makes me very aware of the choices I make with money and etc. Enjoy!

Sacred Feminine Meeting Group

divasoma — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:54:28 GMT

The phrase I keep saying is: "I'm so excited." Della introduced me to Keri Wayne, whose credentials & ideas you can see at her emerging web site http://www.shaktisfire.org We want to see if we can get a regular group to meet and discuss, experience, and share the divine feminine, or really any sacred wisdom. The first meeting will be Friday, July 25 @ 7 p.m. There will be no charge; coffee-can donations for the studio are appreciated but not required. Also, we will host a Tantra introduction for women on Friday, August 25th. I'll post more on this soon! Let me know if you're interested, so I can have an idea of how many to expect.

"Raqs Nebraska" tribe to replace NBDS tribe

divasoma — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:34:18 GMT

My “Nebraska Bellydance Spectacular” tribe was just kind of hanging out collecting dust, (as the event happens only once a year) so I thought I’d change it up to be a little more useful. That tribe is now “Raqs Nebraska”. My intent is for it to be a place for people to find classes, shows, workshops, etc. here in our state, which has a beautifully-emerging, diverse bellydance community! So, PLEASE, feel free to pepper this tribe with useful information. I figured it would be a good springboard for people to find our individual tribes & web sites. Here’s the link http://tribes.tribe.net/raqsnebraska Hope you enjoy it! If you were a member of the NBDS tribe, you are already included in this revamped tribe.

One year has passed.......

divasoma — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:34:22 GMT

Yesterday marked the anniversary of my mom's passing. I'm just as confused about how to feel about this anniversary as I was about the event itself. I still contend that I grieved my mom long before she died. In one way, because I grew so far away from the beliefs and world-view I grew up with, and really had to establish myself as an individual - apart from my family - in order to truly pursue my own happiness. It almost seems I had to divorce my family to accomplish that. In another way, that is one of the aspects of Alzheimer's: it truly is the long good-bye. She had not spoken for at least a year prior to her death. And even her animated facial expressions had dwindled in her final months. One of my friends hugged me yesterday and said, "She's proud of you." Which was a very touching gesture, and one that I hope is true, but I don't know that my staunchly religious mom would be proud of the things I've accomplished. **I** am proud of the things I've done, and I've learned to be mother and father to myself in that regard. I think the time I experienced the most grief - don't ask me how I even got to this - was driving home one night. I was daydreaming about having a child, (which will make my tribe friends laugh if you've just finished reading my last blog entry,) and I imagined someone saying, "Wow, the baby has so much hair!" and me saying, "Yes, I'm told I had lots of hair when I was born, too." Something about that set me immediately to sobbing. It occurred to me that, in the moment you become a mother, you are most connected to the experiences of your mother. And it just broke my heart that, if I do chose to have a child, she will not be here to be part of it. And perhaps I grieve that, even if she was here, she would not share with me the depth of that experience as I felt it - it just is not in the nature of an old-school Catholic mom to delve into that type of emotional, sacred experience. If we are the realization of our parents' hopes and dreams, I think the one thing I've accomplished in her stead is that I have not bogged myself down with the responsibilities of being a wife and mother, and, in so doing, have made it possible for me to pursue my dreams. I really think that, if it were not for social conditioning, my mom may have never chosen to marry. She always talked about how she wished she could have travelled, but never did. And she was always bitter at my dad because he was not successful (nor ambitious) enough to allow her to have more freedoms of that kind. Dad was and is a simple man, with no great desire for great things. I am the realization of Mom's wild side, that apparently was quite prominent in her younger days (although maybe not to the extent I've taken it.) ;) She loved to dance and be active. I remember her showing me pictures she'd had autographed by some of her favorite Country/Western (you had to add the "western") musicians from back in the day. I think a large part of the reason I teach bellydance, and I'm so adamant about telling women they are beautiful regardless of their body shape, is because my mom never recognized how truly beautiful she was. She was always so embarrassed about her weight that I don't think she ever felt comfortable in her own skin. What I wouldn't give to go back and tell her that the reason the clothes in the store don't fit her well is because we are short, high-waisted women and those clothes are cut differently than we're shaped. Ah, she probably wouldn't believe me, anyway. Wonderful physical attributes I get from my mom: thick hair (fine strands, but lots of them) luscious eyelashes young skin (sucked as a teenager, because it's oily as hell, but kept her young-looking for years w/ no moisturizer!) curvey curves (god blessed us well in the T&A arena) large, brown eyes award-winning smile (well, I don't know what award, but...) Okay, well it's almost time to start class. I need to get my gimpy butt up and ready. (Don't know what I did to my leg. Ouch.) ****sending love & light into the great beyond****

HOW did I get this many tribes?!?!?!

divasoma — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:45:11 GMT

I'm doing some housekeeping and I still, after leaving several, have 92 tribes that I belong to. Since my monkeysphere (hehehehehe) is limited, I've decided I have too many tribes that I just never visit anymore and I need to get rid of some. Please don't be offended if I leave your tribe... I seriously need to simplify right now, and tribe is as good a place as any to start.

Floating around in the Monkeysphere

divasoma — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:38:08 GMT

Not to be monkeying around (hehehehehe) but I found this awhile ago and thought it was a very interesting perspective. Here's the link, or read below http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html "What the Hell is the Monkeysphere?" By David Wong, www.cracked.com First, picture a monkey. A monkey dressed like a little pirate, if that helps you. We'll call him Slappy. Imagine you have Slappy as a pet. Imagine a personality for him. Maybe you and he have little pirate monkey adventures and maybe even join up to fight crime. Think how sad you'd be if Slappy died. Now, imagine you get four more monkeys. We'll call them Tito, Bubbles, Marcel and ShitTosser. Imagine personalities for each of them now. Maybe one is aggressive, one is affectionate, one is quiet, the other just throws shit all the time. But they're all your personal monkey friends. Now imagine a hundred monkeys. Not so easy now, is it? So how many monkeys would you have to own before you couldn't remember their names? At what point, in your mind, do your beloved pets become just a faceless sea of monkey? Even though each one is every bit the monkey Slappy was, there's a certain point where you will no longer really care if one of them dies. So how many monkeys would it take before you stopped caring? That's not a rhetorical question. We actually know the number. "So this whole thing is your crusade against monkey overpopulation? I'll have my monkey castrated this very day!" Uh, no. It'll become clear in a moment. You see, monkey experts performed a monkey study a while back, and discovered that the size of the monkey's monkey brain determined the size of the monkey groups the monkeys formed. The bigger the brain, the bigger the little societies they built. They cut up so many monkey brains, in fact, that they found they could actually take a brain they had never seen before and from it they could accurately predict what size tribes that species of creature formed. Most monkeys operate in troupes of 50 or so. But somebody slipped them a slightly larger brain and they estimated the ideal group or society for this particular animal was about 150. That brain, of course, was human. Probably from a homeless man they snatched off the streets. "So that's the big news? That humans are God's big-budget sequel to the monkey? Who didn't know that?" It goes much, much deeper than that. Let's try an example. Famous news talking guy Tim Russert tells a charming story about his father, in his book Big Russ and Me (the title referring to his on-and-off romance with actor Russell Crowe). Russert's dad used to take half an hour to carefully box up any broken glass before taking it to the trash. Why? Because "The trash guy might cut his hands." That this was such an unusual thing to do illustrates my monkey point. None of us spend much time worrying about the garbage man's welfare even though he performs a crucial role in not forcing us to live in a cave carved from a mountain of our own filth. We don't usually consider his safety or comfort at all and if we do, it's not in the same way we would worry over our best friend or wife or girlfriend or even our dog. People toss half-full bottles of drain cleaner right into the barrel, without a second thought of what would happen if the trash man got it splattered into his eyes. Why? Because the trash guy exists outside the Monkeysphere. "There's that word again..." The Monkeysphere is the group of people who each of us, using our monkeyish brains, are able to conceptualize as people. If the monkey scientists are monkey right, it's physically impossible for this to be a number much larger than 150. Most of us do not have room in our Monkeysphere for our friendly neighborhood sanitation worker. So, we don't think of him as a person. We think of him as The Thing That Makes The Trash Go Away. And even if you happen to know and like your particular garbage man, at one point or another we all have limits to our sphere of monkey concern. It's the way our brains are built. We each have a certain circle of people who we think of as people, usually our own friends and family and neighbors, and then maybe some classmates or coworkers or church or suicide cult. Those who exist outside that core group of a few dozen people are not people to us. They're sort of one-dimensional bit characters. Remember the first time, as a kid, you met one of your school teachers outside the classroom? Maybe you saw old Miss Puckerson at Taco Bell eating refried beans through a straw, or saw your principal walking out of a dildo shop. Do you remember that surreal feeling you had when you saw these people actually had lives outside the classroom? I mean, they're not people. They're teachers. "So? What difference does all this make?" Oh, not much. It's just the one single reason society doesn't work. It's like this: which would upset you more, your best friend dying, or a dozen kids across town getting killed because their bus collided with a truck hauling killer bees? Which would hit you harder, your Mom dying, or seeing on the news that 15,000 people died in an earthquake in Iran? They're all humans and they are all equally dead. But the closer to our Monkeysphere they are, the more it means to us. Just as your death won't mean anything to the Chinese or, for that matter, hardly anyone else more than 100 feet or so from where you're sitting right now. "Why should I feel bad for them? I don't even know those people!" Exactly. This is so ingrained that to even suggest you should feel their deaths as deeply as that of your best friend sounds a little ridiculous. We are hard-wired to have a drastic double standard for the people inside our Monkeysphere versus the 99.999% of the world's population who are on the outside. Think about this the next time you get really pissed off in traffic, when you start throwing finger gestures and wedging your head out of the window to scream, "LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE, FUCKER!!" Try to imagine acting like that in a smaller group. Like if you're standing in an elevator with two friends and a coworker, and the friend goes to hit a button and accidentally punches the wrong one. Would you lean over, your mouth two inches from her ear, and scream "LEARN TO OPERATE THE FUCKING ELEVATOR BUTTONS, SHITCAMEL!!" They'd think you'd gone insane. We all go a little insane, though, when we get in a group larger than the Monkeysphere. That's why you get that weird feeling of anonymous invincibility when you're sitting in a large crowd, screaming curses at a football player you'd never dare say to his face. "Well, I'm nice to strangers. Have you considered that maybe you're just an asshole?" Sure, you probably don't go out of your way to be mean to strangers. You don't go out of your way to be mean to stray dogs, either. The problem is that eventually, the needs of you or those within your Monkeysphere will require screwing someone outside it (even if that need is just venting some tension and anger via exaggerated insults). This is why most of us wouldn't dream of stealing money from the pocket of the old lady next door, but don't mind stealing cable, adding a shady exemption on our tax return, or quietly celebrating when they forget to charge us for something at the restaurant. You may have a list of rationalizations long enough to circle the Earth, but the truth is that in our monkey brains the old woman next door is a human being while the cable company is a big, cold, faceless machine. That the company is, in reality, nothing but a group of people every bit as human as the old lady, or that some kind old ladies actually work there and would lose their jobs if enough cable were stolen, rarely occurs to us. That's one of the ingenius things about the big-time religions, by the way. The old religious writers knew it was easier to put the screws to a stranger, so they taught us to get a personal idea of a God in our heads who says, "No matter who you hurt, you're really hurting me. Also, I can crush you like a grape." You must admit that if they weren't writing words inspired by the Almighty, they at least understood the Monkeysphere. It's everywhere. Once you grasp the concept, you can see examples all around you. You'll walk the streets in a daze, like Roddy Piper after putting on his X-ray sunglasses in They Live. But wait, because this gets much bigger and much, much stranger... "So you're going to tell us that this Monkeysphere thing runs the whole world? Also, They Live sucked." Go flip on the radio. Listen to the conservative talk about "The Government" as if it were some huge, lurking dragon ready to eat you and your paycheck whole. Never mind that the government is made up of people and that all of that money they take goes into the pockets of human beings. Talk radio's Rush Limbaugh is known to tip 50% at restaurants, but flies into a broadcast tirade if even half that dollar amount is deducted from his paycheck by "The Government." That's despite the fact that the money helps that very same single mom he had no problem tipping in her capacity as a waitress. Now click over to a liberal show now, listen to them describe "Multinational Corporations" in the same diabolical terms, an evil black force that belches smoke and poisons water and enslaves humanity. Isn't it strange how, say, a lone man who carves and sells children's toys in his basement is a sweetheart who just loves bringing joy at Christmas, but a big-time toy corporation (which brings toys to millions of kids at Christmas) is an inhuman soul-grinding greed machine? Strangely enough, if the kindly lone toy making guy made enough toys and hired enough people and expanded to enough shops, we'd eventually stop seeing it as a toy-making shop and start seeing it as the fiery Orc factories of Mordor. And if you've just thought, "Well, those talk show hosts are just a bunch of egomaniacal blowhards anyway," you've just done it again, turned real humans into two-word cartoon characters. It's no surprise, you do it with pretty much all six billion human beings outside the Monkeysphere. "So I'm supposed to suddenly start worrying about six billion strangers? That's not even possible!" That's right, it isn't possible. That's the point. What is hard to understand is that it's also impossible for them to care about you. That's why they don't mind stealing your stereo or vandalizing your house or cutting your wages or raising your taxes or bombing your office building or choking your computer with spam advertising diet and penis drugs they know don't work. You're outside their Monkeysphere. In their mind, you're just a vague shape with a pocket full of money for the taking. Think of Osama Bin Laden. Did you just picture a camouflaged man hiding in a cave, drawing up suicide missions? Or are you thinking of a man who gets hungry and has a favorite food and who had a childhood crush on a girl and who has athlete's foot and chronic headaches and wakes up in the morning with a boner and loves volleyball? Something in you, just now, probably was offended by that. You think there's an effort to build sympathy for the murderous fuck. Isn't it strange how simply knowing random human facts about him immediately tugs at your sympathy strings? He comes closer to your Monkeysphere, he takes on dimension. Now, the cold truth is this Bin Laden is just as desperately in need of a bullet to the skull as the raving four-color caricature on some redneck's T-shirt. The key to understanding people like him, though, is realizing that we are the caricature on his T-shirt. "So you're using monkeys to claim that we're all a bunch of Osama Bin Ladens?" Sort of. Listen to any 16 year-old kid with his first job, going on and on about how the boss is screwing him and the government is screwing him even more ("What's FICA?!?!" he screams as he looks at his first paycheck). Then watch that same kid at work, as he drops a hamburger patty on the floor, picks it up, and slaps in on a bun and serves it to a customer. In that one dropped burger he has everything he needs to understand those black-hearted politicians and corporate bosses. They see him in the exact same way he sees the customers lined up at the burger counter. Which is, just barely. In both cases, for the guy making the burger and the guy running Exxon, getting through the workweek and collecting the paycheck are all that matters. No thought is given to the real human unhappiness being spread by doing it shittily (ever gotten so sick from food poisoning you thought your stomach lining was going to fly out of your mouth?) That many customers or employees just can't fit inside the Monkeysphere. The kid will protest that he shouldn't have to care for the customers for minimum wage, but the truth is if a man doesn't feel sympathy for his fellow man at $6.00 an hour, he won't feel anything more at $600,000 a year. Or, to look at it the other way, if we're allowed to be indifferent and even resentful to the masses for $6.00 an hour, just think of how angry the some Pakistani man is allowed to be when he's making the equivalent of six dollars a week. "You've used the word 'monkey' more than 50 times, but the same principle hardly applies. Humans have been to the moon. Let's see the monkeys do that." It doesn't matter. It's just an issue of degree. There's a reason why legendary monkeytician Charles Darwin and his assistant, Jeje (pronounced "heyhey") Santiago deduced that humans and chimps were evolutionary cousins. As sophisticated as we are (compare our advanced sewage treatment plants to the chimps' primitive technique of hurling the feces with their bare hands), the inescapable truth is we are just as limited by our mental hardware. The primary difference is that monkeys are happy to stay in small groups and rarely interact with others outside their monkey gang. This is why they rarely go to war, though when they do it is widely thought to be hilarious. Humans, however, require cars and oil and quality manufactured goods by the fine folks at 3M and Japanese video games and worldwide internets and, most importantly, governments. All of these things take groups larger than 150 people to maintain effectively. Thus, we routinely find ourselves functioning in bunches larger than our primate brains are able to cope with. This is where the problems begin. Like a fragile naked human pyramid, we are simultaneously supporting and resenting each other. We bitch out loud about our soul-sucking job as an anonymous face on an assembly line, while at the exact same time riding in a car that only an assembly line could have produced. It's a constant contradiction that has left us pissed off and joining informal wrestling clubs in basements. This is why I think it was with a great burden of sadness that Darwin turned to his assistant and lamented, "Jeje, we're the monkeys." "Oh, no you didn't." If you think about it, our entire society has evolved around the limitations of the Monkeysphere. There is a reason why all of the really phat-ass nations with the biggest SUV's with the shiniest 22-inch rims all have some kind of representative democracy (where you vote for people to do the governing for you) and all of them are, to some degree, capitalist (where people actually get to buy property and keep some of what they earn). Above: Democracy A representative democracy allows a small group of people to make all of the decisions, while letting us common people feel like we're doing something by going to a polling place every couple of years and pulling a lever that, in reality, has about the same effect as the darkness knob on your toaster. We can simultaneously feel like we're in charge while being contained enough that we can't cause any real monkey mayhem once we fly into one of our screeching, arm-flapping monkey frenzies ("A woman showed her boob at the Super Bowl! We want a boob and football ban immediately!") Conversely, some people in the distant past naively thought they could sit all of the millions of monkeys down and say, "Okay, everybody go pick the bananas, then bring them here, and we'll distribute them with a complex formula determining banana need! Now go gather bananas for the good of society!" For the monkeys it was a confused, comical, tree-humping disaster. Later, a far more realistic man sat the monkeys down and said, "You want bananas? Each of you go get your own. I'm taking a nap." That man, of course, was German philosopher Hans Capitalism. As long as everybody gets their own bananas and shares with the few in their Monkeysphere, the system will thrive even though nobody is even trying to make the system thrive. This is perhaps how Ayn Rand would have put it, had she not been such a hateful bitch. Then, some time in the Third Century, French philosopher Pierre "Frenchy" LaFrench invented racism. Above: The French This was a way of simplifying the too-complex-for-monkeys world by imagining all people of a certain race as being the same person, thinking they all have the same attitudes and mannerisms and tastes in food and clothes and music. It sort of works, as long as we think of that person as being a good person ("Those Asians are so hard-working and precise and well-mannered!") but when we start seeing them as being one, giant, gaping asshole (the French, ironically) our monkey happiness again breaks down. It's not all the French's fault. The truth is, all of these monkey management schemes only go so far. For instance, today one in four Americans has some kind of mental illness, usually depression. One in four. Watch a basketball game. The odds are at least two of those people on the floor are mentally ill. Look around your house; if everybody else there seems okay, it's you. Is it any surprise? You turn on the news and see a whole special on the Obesity Epidemic. You've had this worry laid on your shoulders about millions of other people eating too much. What exactly are you supposed to do about the eating habits of 80 million people you don't even know? You've taken on the pork-laden burden of all these people outside the Monkeysphere and you now carry that useless weight of worry like, you know, some kind of animal on your back. "So what exactly are we supposed to do about all this?" First, train yourself to get suspicious every time you see simplicity. Any claim that the root of a problem is simple should be treated the same as a claim that the root of a problem is Bigfoot. Simplicity and Bigfoot are found in the real world with about the same frequency. So reject binary thinking of "good vs. bad" or "us vs. them." Know problems cannot be solved with clever slogans and over-simplified step-by-step programs. You can do that by following these simple steps. We like to call this plan the T.R.Y. plan: First, TOTAL MORON. That is, accept the fact THAT YOU ARE ONE. We all are. That really annoying person you know, the one who's always spouting bullshit, the person who always thinks they're right? Well, the odds are that for somebody else, you're that person. So take the amount you think you know, reduce it by 99.999%, and then you'll have an idea of how much you actually know regarding things outside your Monkeysphere. Second, UNDERSTAND that there are no Supermonkeys. Just monkeys. Those guys on TV you see, giving the inspirational seminars, teaching you how to reach your potential and become rich and successful like them? You know how they made their money? By giving seminars. For the most part, the only thing they do well is convince others they do everything well. No, the universal moron principal established in No. 1 above applies here, too. Don't pretend politicians are somehow supposed to be immune to all the backhanded fuckery we all do in our daily lives and don't laugh and point when the preacher gets caught on video snorting cocaine off a prostitute's ass. A good exercise is to picture your hero--whoever it is--passed out on his lawn, naked from the waist down. The odds are it's happened at some point. Even Gandhi may have had hotel rooms and dead hookers in his past. And don't even think about ignoring advice from a moral teacher just because the source enjoys the ol' Colombian Nose Candy from time to time. We're all members of varying species of hypocrite (or did you tell them at the job interview that you once called in sick to spend a day leveling up on World of Warcraft?) Don't use your heroes' vices as an excuse to let yours run wild. And finally, DON'T LET ANYBODY simplify it for you. The world cannot be made simple. Anyone who tries to paint a picture of the world in basic comic book colors is most likely trying to use you as a pawn. So just remember: T-R-Y. Go forth and do likewise, gents. Copies of our book are available in the lobby.

Still alive & well in Omaha

divasoma — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:50:50 GMT

But the picture I'm posting is less than a mile from my apartment community. Yes, I live in the Chalco Hills area of Omaha, right across from Wehrspann Lake. The only reason I knew anything was going on is that Charity called at, like, 3 a.m., frantically asking, "Are you o.k.?" "Yeah, I'm just sleeping." "A tornado just hit in Millard, at 168th & Giles. The Wal-Mart and Target on 132nd and L both have damage," she said. Woah - that is all very uncomfortably close. It is amazing to me there were no serious injuries, given how stealthily this storm crept up. If you want to see more about it, here is a link to the Omaha World-Herald's online coverage: http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10353311 All of the Divas are accounted for and o.k., but one of our new ladies, Joleen, does have damage to her home. Counting my blessings today..........

Hafla & Classes at Gnosis this week!

divasoma — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:17:09 GMT

Don't forget - a lot of great classes are starting this week! Today there is African Dance with Melissa and Drumming with Alex. On Wednesday & Thursday my new sessions start for Beginners, Beginners 2 and Intermediate/Advanced Bellydance. Then, on Saturday, Susie will be offering yoga classes from 8:45 - 9:45 a.m., followed by Sapphire Phoenix's Belly Kids classes. To put the cherry on top, Saturday is also HAFLA NIGHT!!! Come at 7 p.m. for food, music, dancing & friends. Get up and do your shimmy-shimmy, too! There are also still slots open in beginners Tribal Fusion classes: 6:45 - 7:45 Monday w/ Annaka annakablomfield@hotmail.com OR 5:45 - 6:45 Tuesday with Calliste of Basharaat basharaat@neb.rr.com Some specifics are available on the Diva Soma tribe http://tribes.tribe.net/divasoma or contact the studio (402) 934-9958 / classes@gnosismoves.com for more info.