new orleans has been a mixed bag thus far. don't feel like i fit well into either of the above two categories. i'm not working on building my life here, and i'm not looking to make a few bucks of the lives of others. started a small business, GIRL FRIDAY any day of the week, but more to fill noticable gaps than to make money. its taking off, but seems to be that i bit off more than i can chew. don't really want to get into management, direct service is more rewarding right now, but definitely think this concept could really grow here. talking it up among friends to see if anyone's game to run with it.

emotionaly its been a rough time too. in addition to not feeling like i have a defined role here, i've also been coming to terms with the individuals whose mental and physical injuries are still causing so much anguish. it is heartbreaking. it seems that neighbors who had been so energetic and optimistic are losing their wind; left and right others are flailing, grasping at any escape available. i feel too much and am uncertain of my strength to persevere.

i also suffered a personal loss recently. my kitty, Rigel, died. he was a very shy kitty, few even knew he existed. but he too felt things strongly. he traveled back and forth across country with me and larkin, many many times; a well traveled kitty who enjoyed a bit of camping along the banks of the american river in colerado, in addition to some car-camping in many many national parks and off the beaten path adventures. his himalayan / burmese genes were not an asset to him living most of his 14 years south of the mason dixon line – no snow drifts to utilize the large tufts of fur on the pads of his large paws. alergies, hair, and other aging factors were too much for such a strong kitty to handle down in new orleans. he was much loved and is missed not only by me, but also by his previously aloof kitty-sibling Larkin (meowing in wonder at where he's disappeared to). I mourn but continue to love.

the next few months will be a continued adventure to me. as i make my way through this state of limbo, i am cashing in on an old plane ticket and meandering to Belize for two weeks mid june. i look forward to not only exploring realms unknown (never ventured south of the border), but also spending a good portion of time on the beaches, some might say soul searching - i'd say just thinking and coming to terms with my past and future paths. absolutely no role to fulfill - just to reestablish my equilibrium.

not certain of my timeline after belize, but life is drawing me westward - august perhaps?