A story in search of a conversation;
This is not a new or fantasy ideal of a relationship for Me. I have been here before and need to be again.
So let’s talk about you. This is not for the hedonist recreational, party/club slave.
you are a conundrum. you are complicated, conflicted just what many men seem not to want.
you need intensity, mentally, physically and spiritually.
you might be a corporate or military brat, maybe you are adopted, in any case Family is extremely important to you.
you are in your mid 30's- early 40's, male-identified, very feminine, petite, fit, trim, love to workout, full of life, precocious, coquettish, joyful, convivial, giggly, excitable and can be exuberant, a silly girlish lil kitten sometimes, loves being a girl and a lil girl for real not roll play. you long to return to that safely.
To those in the outside world you are in control very intelligent and seem self-confident yet you are shy and prefer to be a homebody.
you’re very attractive yet don’t have a lot of friends, many think you aloof. I know as an artist beauty can be its own burden, too many see only your “looks”.
you need to be listened to, heard, and known in the most intimate ways.
you’re a lil conservative, sincere, traditional values. you are well educated, a great conversationalist, glamorous, romantic, a very sophisticated sense of fashion and makeup, not a fashion victim.
you can be a downright snob with some things, jaded, cynical, yet compassionate and romantic and under all of this you are very submissive and need to be Owned, Dominated, totally controlled. you desire deep Internal Enslavement, not role-playing!
you want, need His total loving supervision not oppression. you need to let Him see you for what you really are!
A Loving TPE/APE relationship is what you crave.
Total Power Exchange; no choices, no decisions, no privacy and no ownership. TPE is not about sex it is a much deeper psychology about commitment and responsibility. TPE is all about the letting go of wants in exchange for getting your needs. It is a deep spiritual profound way of Loving. It is THE connection!
you feel very much alone. All your successes and beauty mean little without being able to share it in love.
you are successful yet you don’t want to be independent. you are a contradiction. Away from the outside world at home in your real life you want to be told what to do, not have to make any decisions. you crave a trustworthy Master that you can let go emotionally with, to finally surrender all the way.
Every single area of your life decided, directed for your own good, Dominated, the only thing left to you is to “please”, to simply obey because you are a good lil girl and a loving slave and it is the psychological depth of this that brings you a purpose, a higher intimacy between you and your Master, your Daddy.
The act of obeying is arousing and your pleasure comes from much more that just sex. It is the exchange of intense emotions, sensations physically, mentally and spiritually that brings you to where you long to be, but too many times “they” just won’t or can’t go all the way for, with you; vanilla sex has just about lost its appeal for you. you are the whole package; very attractive, smart, sophisticated, successful and very submissive with dark needs but you can’t seem to find Him.

you are equal parts of slave and fun loving, joyous lil girl, but you have some very dark, dirty, intense places you long to be taken to and crave a trustworthy Master to beg for this; a very dirty lil girl who needs to feel reduced down to the lowest gutter in intense sessions that leave you wallowing in the dirtiest things you desperately need.
you crave a knowing, trustworthy loving Master/Daddy, helping you with the shame of regressing, letting go to being utterly humiliated into the lowest filthy gutter. Only then you can achieve the euphoric feelings you crave, need.
you don’t need pain to “get off”, you need it because it is how you make Love and know you are Loved in return.
you need restraint, harshness, intensity that comes with that dynamic between Master/slave. It’s the taste, need, for bittersweet humiliation, degradation/shame..."i don't want this... i need this... the worse it gets the better it gets, the shame is pleasure is shame...” That merciless circle that must be satisfied; the pleasure is pain is pleasure, the release is the paradox!
Afterwards Daddy will lovingly clean you up and restore you back to the beautiful girl you are. The lower you go the higher HE can raise you back up! you relish loving comfort and nurturing afterward, the closure of being restored from your total reduction with tons of sweet pampering and loving aftercare.
It‘s all about being allowed to become your authentic self. It’s about being loved for who you are. The motivation is to love and be loved. It’s the Natural Order of Things. For you THIS is the ULTIMATE protection, Master/Father/slave/daughter, that deep natural loving connection because it’s unconditional. your final choice, final decision.