fragment of a conversation at dinner last night lead to this:



because all good distractors have recursion in them



something too heavy to deal with

a light flight of fantasy

to carry you away

and bring you home again



"sometimes you have to go a long distance out of the way

so you can come back a short distance correctly"





what you couldn't deal with looking at from one angle

looks manageable from another

Today

i've renamed my journal from "waltzingtree" (which was a random name i chose before i knew how LJ worked)

to dominicvine to be consistent with the rest of my on-line monikers



and now, when i meet people, they don't have to say "Oh, you're Waltzingtree!"

they can use use my name.



Hello.

"The time of heroes is dead: the christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs and fear and shame."







someone recently told me that Neil Gaiman had written the screen play for this movie...

i'd seen plenty of adverts for it in the subways

and it looked just like a video game... i wasn't interested

but hearing Gaiman was involved

i felt obligated

so yesterday Jorge and i went along...



i was quite impressed

all i ask for from a movie is that it inspires thought and feeling in me that further my life



it was entertaining

sexy

disorienting (watching an entirely CGI movie always is... and i didn't know this was one before i went to see it)



i LOVE Ray Winstone... so that was nice... even though he was transformed into a muscle hunk... he was still hot

(how they transformed the bodies of the actors through age and size was pretty amazing... mmmm, Wiglaf)

what i liked most

were little quotes like the one up top

where Gaiman and Avery (Co-writer and of Pulp Fiction, Killing Zoe, True Romance, et al) stick it to modern culture

and present us with so many other little turns about the nature of the choices we make...



but how do they relate to our world of the here and now?

the biggest curiosity for me i still haven't put my fingers around

so i'd like to see it again..



Actually

i'd like to see it again because i've heard they also show it in 3D

and i've not seen a 3D movie in years

and know this would be a lot of fun



Anyone want to go with me sometime soon?

it's showing at Union Square...

"if you don't take me out to dinner

i don't eat"



i used to think about that all the time

(read it on the radiohead website ten years ago or so)



for me

it's so easy to forget to eat

hours and hour

not so important

til feel a gnawing...

what is that?



some of the most basic needs are so easily forgotten



(take a deep breath)



yesterday i was finishing some left overs from thanks giving

ate some pie and icecream

and later

with jorge

i ate the other container of sub-standard ice cream



then we went to dinner

had good starchy and fatty foods



came back

ate a papaya

and that was all i could handle



but he brought out another pint of ice cream

and we polished that off...



(now, a few months ago i was eating a pint of ice cream every day... and it got to a point where i Noticed that when i ate the ice cream my skin would get itchy and my attitude would become foul -- so i began to lay off the sugar... )



this correlation became even stronger



i felt alright earlier in the day

but by the time i ate that third pint of ice cream

my whole body

again

became terribly itchy

felt sore and achy

and again my attitude became very irritated



i had enough consciousness to see that it was an artificial irritation

but i was still in it

so i expressed it and rolled over and slept



this morning i feel terribly hung over

... very similar to how i felt monday morning after coming home from nayland's party



i remember hearing that alcoholism and sugar addiction are very similar

relating to some problem the body has metabolising sugars

pancreas?

something...



i'm just socked that i feel the same terrible hangover

sore... dry mouthed...

and the rush of the sugar high is the same as the bottle

(but the bottle dissolves everything and one falls over and slides down)



i hadn't been drunk in a long time

and it always shocks me afterwards (sometimes during)

how i think having another drink

when i'm getting drunk

always seems like a really good idea



and i become giddy

and stupid

and yet

am unable to stop myself from acting in inappropriate ways



ick







i write this mainly as a reminder

because i always forget

and making a connection between my family's genetic addictions

and emotional destroyed states

so hopefully i won't do this any more







oh, all of you much older than i...

does there come a time in your life when it's easier to make decisions and stick with them?

simple social choices...

or is life always tricky?

out of everyone's eyes is the Grand Organization



what you see is what you know: clearly manifest



whatever understandings you have

judgments you decree

the world conforms



your world

as you perceive it





and what a wonderful world

the jigsaw falls into place

it some how all fits together and keeps going



there's space for the apples to grow in your orchard

there's room for you apocalypse

just around the corner

it will not be too late for you to get mugged by that dark-skinned baddie up the block

and every lover leave you loveless

or potentially be your soulmate



i know you'll find a way to be famous

and everyone will know your name

tomorrow will not be too late

for your millions to come rolling in

so you can buy the restaurant

on a night you don't want to deal with any chatter going on around you



it can all happen

there's time enough for love

and hope enough for tragedy



make your wishes

dream your dream

commit to your life with each breath

and each cloud of exhalate seals your fate











i know this



once

i could touch it with my tongue

i had such dreams...





now i'm not better or worse

just another confused soul

blocks falling out of the sky

to make up the puzzle

stage hands shoving me on stages

when i've forgot the plot



as good as any other

bright spots

dark spots







she asked me tonight

if i had intentions to get enlightened

and talked about all the ways

i said i'd been working for nearly ten years purifying my intentions

not to get enlightened

but to Be enlightened



i know what it looks like

i've felt it

lo siento

i just can't stay there...





but if i could

i wouldn't cast so many damn shadows on every one i meet

i'd see clearly what each thought did to everything around me

and i could instantly turn the ugly into beautiful



i don't want to be just another obstacle in front of a star

i want to be one myself

shining light out into the night



right

is that my intention?

let me look through my pockets and see if there was anything else i forgot



one sec...