what a gift. to come to a planet and give its people LSD. to be directly responsible for so much of the evolution of human consciousness on Earth...

in memoriam of dr. albert hoffman, who died yesterday, i am reposting a blog i wrote in october about the most epic acid experience i've ever had. LSD has been such an influential substance in my life, and my heart is so grateful to dr. hoffman for his revolutionary contribution to the evolution of human consciousness. i have a strong suspicion that he usually reincarnates on far more advanced planets, but came to Earth to aid in our evolution, bodhi sattva style. i never got to meet him (though my parisian boyfriend dj'd at his 100th birthday party!), but one day i will!

thank you, dr. hoffman!!! we will see you in the stars!

(and thanks to sobey for the pic!)

*~*

i just had the most epic acid trip ever.

my trip buddy said that what we were about to take was made by dr. hoffman himself, or under his close supervision or something. i was skeptical... until i tried it! he dropped 4 drops on my tongue, and 5 minutes later, i was tripping. it came on so fast, i was like, whoa, am i tripping or am i *tripping*? 15 minutes later, i was at the Source of All Creation. like there was nowhere else i could have possibly gone. there was nothing but consciousness. awareness. me before I knew myself as me.

i spent the afternoon in love with myself. i adored myself so deeply that i manifested an entire universe of myself to fall in love with. i bathed myself in the sun of myself and kissed myself with these lips that i love. and everyone i’ve ever loved was me, manifested out of love for myself...

i experienced the most blissful contentment to just *be*, and promptly fell completely in love! but what was there to be in love with, other than the endlessness of consciousness that was me? just then, out of this profound love for myself rose a manifestation of myself, for no other reason than for me to fall in love with it! all of its movements and actions were acts of worship, gestures of love. all of its existence was an act of adoration. it was myself in love with myself. i basked in it. how i love to be in love!

i watched the colors in the painting i was looking at swirl around, painting itself, and i knew it was the work of a part of myself that was so enamored, it overflowed with inspiration and out poured this painted admiration of me. i was my own lover, so in love with myself that i had joyously painted this beautiful piece of art just for me! i felt my heart rise to meet the love and absolute adoration that had risen out of myself as manifested in this art. i had been so overcome with love for myself, this beautiful creation had poured uncontrollably out of my own heart!

i watched my trip partner’s fluid movements as he danced to some of the most beautiful indian music i had ever heard–composed out of pure love for the sole purpose of enchanting me, of course. his passionate expression could only be interpreted as devotion to me. he was born out of adoration for me, and he was me, created by myself to fall in love with.

everything that exists was a divine manifestation of myself, born out of profound peace, contentment, and love that i wanted to share. like the citrus tree in the yard. when my friend pointed out its beauty to me, i turned, looked, then turned back to my super comfy position half-off the sofa. he chuckled, i suspected at my presumed lack of interest. but it wasn’t that i wasn’t interested in the tree, it was that i *was* that tree, and i was already supremely enjoying worshiping myself through that beautiful manifestation, just as i was enjoying the gifts bestowed upon me through every other manifestation all at once, including his struggling to find just the right music to see God to. i was amused by his efforts, so unnecessary but all so worshipful, and i knew that at some point he would abandon his frustration with the stereo and be still and know that he was God.

the mystical music reminded me of my latest summer love, and i saw him as another manifestation of myself, whose entire being was an act of love, worship, and adoration of me. i remembered the way he caressed my body when we were on two hits of lsd, making love at a festival while shpongle played just outside. how worshipful he had been, the way he had handled me and explored me with such care and adoration; the way he loved every inch of me... i remembered the words he used to describe the perfection of my body, and how completely adored i felt with his hands and thoughts on me. and, now, no wonder he was treating me exactly the way i love to be treated! he *was* me, created by me spontaneously from being in love! of course he would adore me completely! why else could he exist? and i was him, created by him out of love of himself, so that he may know what it means to blow his own fucking mind out with love! divine reflections, God and Goddess, made with love, by love, and for love. nothing else exists. whatever action i could imagine, no matter how misguided, i could interpret as or transmute into unconditional love.

as i wrote this, i thought i saw the shadow of a bird on the grass in front of me. i looked up, and it was a dragonfly! it danced for me and its sole reason for existence was to enchant me! how mystical! what an honor! i love myself sooooooooo beautifully! do you feel my love for you/myself in your own heart? your heart is my home! i love you guys!

ahh!!! albert hoffman is such a dreamboat!!!