Enquanto isso, na Fiascosfera...

Just because we didn't go to the nonsense in the desert...

drfiasco — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:31:11 GMT

doesn't mean we are not doing the Spock Science Monitor. Housing Bubble Bursts in Black Rock City By Dr. Fiasco, Foreign Irrespondent and Roper Marc, Chief of Operations In keeping with this year's American Dream theme, Black Rock City is seeing its share of abandoned lots and suburban slums due to a housing crunch caused by an abrupt decrease in attendance. Due to overly optimistic speculation in real estate development in the far suburbs of BRC, the Burning Man Corporation is being forced to extend terms of sale and possibly even sell properties at steep discounts. Many people who bought homes in BRC expecting ever-increasing ticket prices and attendance now find themselves stuck with properties no one wants in a real estate market flooded with vast acres of unsold lots. To compound the problem, playa developers catering to the burgeoning expectator demographics have built housing units that are now sitting virtually empty. " It's a complete washout", said Dick S. Haul, president of Burners Without Boarders, an association of "burnerpreneurs" affected by the real estate crisis. "I have six domes facing open playa and a couple of yurts right on Center Camp that I can't give away for free. That's it, next year I am going to Ibiza instead." Others, like Divine Summerlove Jones, a raw vegan pagan anarchist co-op worker from Arcata have had to resort to renting space to eurotrash ravers, drawn to the event by the strong Euro, so as to afford the rising cost of paying for his teepee in Black Rock City. "It's cool man, but I just wish they hadn't mistaken my didgeridoo for a sex toy", said Jones. Meanwhile, there have been reports that, taking a page from the Beijing Olympics book, the Burning Man Corporation has been busing vagrants from Reno to Black Rock City to occupy empty lots so as to make less evident the magnitude of the problem and keep investors from panicking. These claims are hard to verify as it is virtually impossible to distinguish vagrants from your average DPW worker. So far, the leadership of the Burning Man Corporation is not saying much. Larry Harvey, away on a South Pacific shellfish-eating junket on his 737, could not be reached. "He won't be landing in the city until a couple of hours before the burn", said Marion Goebbels, Director of Communications. "The dust doesn't really agree with him." But this doesn't mean that the Corporation is not acting. In order to stimulate the market, an incentive plan has been put in operation, the SSM has learned. Participants who commit to filling one city block will have their shade structures put up by the DPW. Two blocks gets Lady Bee to come and decorate your camp with beautiful crafts made out of recycled cardboard. Three city blocks gets Larry himself to come hang out with you for 10 minutes and if you fill four city blocks Larry will stay for 5 minutes and pretend he is your friend. Notorious fuck-up Chicken John was unavailable for comment.

My Burning Man Camp

drfiasco — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:55:32 GMT

Marc, Zoe the Dog and I will be at Prospect and Virginia this year. Come hang out with us, we'll hit you with a 2x4 on the head! We will also play Maiden really loud, steal your liquor, sleep with your girlfriend, leave the toilet seat up and eat your porridge while you frolic with the other hippies over at the dirtfest. See if we don't.

A message came down from the Heavens

drfiasco — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:04:07 GMT

After more than one year off, this is the first thing that came up when I turned on this synthesizer while I was setting up my little recording studio. The end is near.

Seems familiar?

drfiasco — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:50:19 GMT

"Hiring: DJ (house) - 2 openings DJ (jungle) - 1 opening" I guess this was back in the 90's before all the junglists sought asylum in Montreal.

Happy Birthday Jenn!

drfiasco — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:29:18 GMT

You're the best thing that happened to me in a long time. Ok, maybe not the best thing. But pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. Almost as good as the nutella chimichanga I had last year in that mexican restaurant. Pretty damn close, actually. That's a hard call. I think you're totally awesome and I have no idea why you're slumming with me, but it's not like I am going to plant that question in your mind by asking it, that'd be really dumb. Happy birthday, lovely. I love you. Kiko

I'm on the campaign trail

drfiasco — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:30:56 GMT

Since it seems that the good folks at the Homeland Security Department are taking their sweet time with my green card application (gentle suggestion: how about less coffee & smoking breaks, fellas?) I decided to extend my hand to the people. So, this being a campaign year and all, I am getting out there too. I'm rehearsing my stump speech. Paypal address for campaign contribution to come soon (yes, we do take soft money). Because together we can change the bridge to the next century for a better future with liberty and justice for all! Or something like that.

Putting the HA in Jihad

drfiasco — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:18:51 GMT

Because after a hard day of hating America, they too need to let their hair down a bit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w57JLmY5dmw&feature=related

I can haz no Lolcat?

drfiasco — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:02:48 GMT

Yes, they're out there. They escaped from the Interwebs and are prowling the neigborhood. I took this picktcha just a few feet away from the World Headquarters of the Fiasco Institute of Technology and Auto Dismantling, my think tank, also known to the unwashed masses of the Mission as Atlas Café.

Because the struggle of the peoples and the rain forest and the endangered tuna and...

drfiasco — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:23:25 GMT

So, I went to Whole Foods. I went in there and got some fruit. The fruit was organic, not because I care, but because they only had organic peaches. Got some sushi too. Went through the cashier, brought my own canvas bag with me, which entitles me to a 5c discount that I can either take or donate to charity. There's a list of charities I can choose from. So I donate my 5c to the Fund for the Oppressed Wymyn of the Island of Chunga or something like that. Then I went home in my (fuel-efficient, low emissions) car. While listening to NPR. And then I realized. I am that guy. That guy Republicans and country singers love to hate. God, how did I become the poster boy for Stuff White People Like?

Let's play a game

drfiasco — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:07:01 GMT

In this game, you guess what I entered in Google to find this pearl. First place gets a free lap dance from Frankenstein Jones' Bureau of Discount Exotic Dancers. Offer not valid in Canada. Some restrictions may apply.

Sesame Street this Ain't

drfiasco — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 23:05:55 GMT

A cardboard Palestinian boy killed a puppet representing US president George W. Bush in a popular kids show broadcast in the Gaza Strip by Hamas' Al Aqsa TV. Wielding the "Sword of Islam" the puppet boy ignored pleas for clemency and the promise of a White House filled with toys. "You are a criminal, Bush, a despicable man. You made me an orphan." said the puppet, who blamed Bush for the deaths of his father during the Iraq War, of his mother in Lebanon and his siblings in the "Palestinian Holocaust". Wearing fatigues and boxing gloves, the Bush puppet asked for help from his friends but was ultimately defeated by his young opponent. Last year, Farfur - a character in the same kids show bearing striking resemblance to Mickey Mouse - was "assassinated" by Israeli agents after protests from Disney due to the similarity to its character. He was substituted by the bee Naoul, who also "died" from lack of medications due the Israeli Army blockade. The bunny Assud, the aspiring martyr who succeeded Naoul, remains alive.

A Very Special Cine Fiasco - Dream Screen Short Film Festival

drfiasco — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:10:19 GMT

Awakening from its winter slumber. This time not one, but a whole bunch of films. It will be the World Première of my friend Dean Mermell's latest short, "Lucid" and we are putting out a submissions call for shorts on the subject of dreams. More info below: Dream Screen Short Film Festival April 25, 2008 The mysterious world you spend a good third of your life in should have its own film fest. Well, maybe not a full-on festival, maybe a deeply intense evening of quality short films that dwell on the dream theme. So for the first time, San Francisco will host the Dream Screen Short Film Festival, and you’re invited to submit. There is no entry fee and nothing to win! This is a non-competitive, informal event, a cinematic exploration of dreams as seen through the eyes of modern filmmakers. Films should be under 10 minutes (though if you have something longer, please submit it for consideration). Films may be any genre, including narrative, experimental, comedy, animation, and documentary. Any film with a central theme of dreams or dreaming will be considered. Submissions should be on NTSC DVD and are due by April 11th 2008. Yup, soon. You will be notified a few days later if your film is accepted. DVD submissions will not be returned unless you provide a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Accepted films must be submitted on DV or DVCAM by April 21st for compilation in the program. Like, soon! The location for this dreamy event will be the “ChickenPlex”, home and headquarters of 2007 San Francisco Mayoral Candidate and arts impresario Chicken John. It’s an awesome screening room that can hold a lot of people. Your film will be nicely projected and sound good, too. There may be live music and festive libations. Please send your DVD submission(s) to: Dean Mermell Dream Screen Short Film Festival 121 Santa Marina st San Francisco, CA 94110 Please label each entry with your name, phone, email, the name of your film, and total running time. If your film is accepted, we’ll get in touch with you for more details to put in the program. Questions? dean@storyfarm.com

Marc

drfiasco — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 23:06:15 GMT

I met Marc back in 2004, during the whole Borg2 kerfuffle. I took the above picture of him (which I just stole from his profile since I can't find it anywhere) during the Flying Pig thing at the Shipyard. Since then, we've been through several adventures and hardships together. He was also Person of the Week once (see http://people.tribe.net/drfiasco/blog/ee9cd17e-8657-441d-9955-2bf297968be5 ) And I'm really glad I met him. Happy Birthday Marc.

The dream

drfiasco — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:38:27 GMT

Translated from a column by Carlos Heitor Cony: I dreamed that Hillary arrived at home, in a state of euphoria and said to her husband: "Bill, this time I really knocked out Obama! I promised that I'd be transparent as no president in this country ever was, definitely more than you, who were so opaque in that case with the intern. To demonstrate it, I decided that I'd accept myself as I really am and announced I'd stop wearing a wig. In theatrical gesture that was followed by a frenzy of applause, I yanked my wig and threw it to the audience!" The former President and husband was trying to read, with little interest, a position paper on global warming and its consequences, an issue that did not personally alarm him. Without looking up from his paper, he said, quizzically: "But honey, you've never worn a wig."

Stuff White People Like

drfiasco — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:10:02 GMT

This is pretty much on the money. The only question is, since I'm kinda, like, not from this country and all ethnic and exotic and stuff, is it OK for me to make fun of you white people? http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

From the "Only in Brazil" department...

drfiasco — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 17:17:13 GMT

The attempt of Reinaldo Rodrigues, 30, to pass for an orthodox jew didn’t last five minutes. After stealing R$ 15,000 (about US$ 8,000) in cash and jewelry from the home of a Rabbi, last night in the wealthy Jardins district of São Paulo, the thief took a hat from the victim and, believing himself to look Jewish enough, tried to escape. He walked 300m down Haddock Lobo street, where the victim lives and was arrested by military police sergeant André Mario Destro, who stopped him and asked why he was wearing a wide-brimmed hat at night. Rodrigues answered that he was Jewish. “But I found the whole thing very strange, since he was wearing a light-colored suit. So I asked him who the leader of the Jewish religion was, what was the Sabbath, what was the Day of Atonement. And he could not answer a single question.” The policeman then pointed to the image of a seven candle candelabrum on a coin found with the thief. He asked what its name was. Rodrigues was silent. “I said, I’d like to introduce you to the Menorah, one of the strongest symbols of Judaism. I’m going to have to search you.” said Destro, who owes his knowledge of the Jewish faith to the time when he worked in the Bom Retiro district, a traditional Jewish enclave in São Paulo and is a follower of Spiritism, a faith founded by mystic Allan Kardec based on the concept of reincarnation. According to the policeman, Rodrigues’ rap sheet is more then 5 m long.

You know what to do

drfiasco — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:51:24 GMT

I'm not even going to say anything because I don't need to. So, get to work.

Monkeys, Fire Hoses and Parks

drfiasco — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 17:20:51 GMT

So, the monkeys, right? You get this one monkey and put it in a cage. In the middle of the cage you hang a large bunch of bananas and put a ladder right under it so that the monkey can get to the bananas. All the monkey has to do is climb up the stairs and get a banana. Except that every time the monkey climbs on the ladder to get a banana, you douse the monkey and the entire cage with a fire hose. With really cold water. And you do it enough times that the monkey starts doing the mental math that banana = cold water from a fire hose. Now, you put a second monkey in there. Of course, the new monkey will immediately reach for the banana, but the first monkey will beat the crap out of him at every try. Because the first monkey doesn’t want to be fire hosed with cold water. At this point you don’t have to fire hose the monkeys anymore as the first monkey will make sure no one reaches for the banana. After a few pummelings, the second monkey also stops reaching for the banana. Then you put in a third monkey. Same thing happens, with both monkeys beating the crap out of the third monkey. The second monkey is especially enthusiastic about dishing out punishment to the newcomer, even though he doesn’t know why. The third monkey will give up too. No one has been fire hosed since the time when there was only a single monkey in the cage. At this point, you have a majority of monkeys who have no idea why they shouldn’t go for the banana but who will not even try or let anyone else try either. Why? BECAUSE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN DONE THAT WAY! That’s why. Case in point: You live in a nice neighborhood. You decide you want to improve your local park by putting some art in it. You get the park neighborhood together, you find an artist with civic spirit willing to work for free, you get it installed. It’s a temporary installation. The neighborhood loves it. You go to City Hall to turn it into a permanent installation. The neighborhood association wants it. The Arts Commission is for it. The Neighborhood Parks Council approves it. A bunch of people speak up, every single one in favor of it. There is a pile of letters of support. Not one person is against it. There is nearly unanimous support for the idea. Except for the Parks & Rec Department. Their reason not to support a permanent art installation? BECAUSE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN DONE THAT WAY! So, that’s what happened to Jenn’s art installation in Juri Commons in the Mission. The message: if you try to do anything to improve your local park or get the neighborhood involved in keeping it, Parks & Rec will be there to make sure you fail. The hearing was Kafkian. I’ve seen bureaucrats like that before, but in Brazil. I didn’t know we had this variety of paper pusher up here, especially in a city that prides itself in being progressive and enlightened. The disdain with which they cast their votes was amazing. They didn’t even make the pretense of giving a damn. The General Manager of Parks & Rec even let a loud sigh of relief when the motion was not approved. It was that crude.

Yeah, I'm with the band...

drfiasco — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:53:04 GMT

Drunk people + loud competing sound systems + burlesque dancers = who gives a damn about the music (including the band)? Our appearance at Sea of Dreams this new year's eve. If you make an effort to look past the dancers (I don't blame you), I'm in the back there somewhere playing the bass. But don't strain yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I09vd9FzUOs

I'm the only gay in the village

drfiasco — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 18:32:25 GMT

Little Britain. Not too bad for a bunch of Brits http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qWxvGyibUk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfD46KSyG7Y

Resolutions

drfiasco — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 16:24:39 GMT

- Finally figure out where the expression "hubba hubba" comes from. - Conquer Europe, Australasia and a 3rd continent of my choice. - Singlehandedly turn the bee keeper suit into the latest Mission hipster fashion. Failing that, the kimono. - Flossing remains optional, but is now highly encouraged. - Take joy in the little pleasures of life, such as denying loose change to the homeless. - Take better care of my body, i.e., avoid bumping into people and/or objects. Also, try not to fall through skylights if at all possible. - Continue the fight to eradicate poverty by leaving valuable objects in plain view in my car when parking it in the Lower Haight. - Work like no one's watching, love like I didn't need the money, dance like I've never been hurt. - Watch more sunrises. Preferably not lying on the curb with a stray dog licking my face. ADDITIONAL RESOLUTION: - Pass Frankenstein Jones' Strip Club Cartoon Deconstruction Semiotics class. Then laugh at New Yorker cartoons as if I understood them.

Holidays Shmolidays

drfiasco — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:36:28 GMT

I can't even be bothered to make a new card for this year. So I'm recycling last year's one. Consider your asses filled with Holiday cheer blah blah blah. Now go away.

The plan

drfiasco — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:48:21 GMT

I'm building the thing up in the picture. If it don't sink here in the Bay, I'm taking it to Hawaii next July for this: http://www.alternative-hawaii.com/events/molokai/quiksilver/overview.htm http://www.quiksilveredition.com/events_molokai.asp It's like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAoIzx_qy6Q 2008 is going to be a much better year.

Damn, I love water

drfiasco — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 16:15:57 GMT

A friend who is in Tahiti just sent me this. He was in one of the boats watching the drama unfold. "ooooh, c'est fini!" Indeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iYC4Nzo4qQ&feature=dir In other news, I just got my ASA skipper license for boats up to 32' And I did in 25 knot gusts out by Angel Island. If you haven't been in a boat with severe weather helm and taking water on the bow hanging for dear life on the railing, do yourself a favor and do it before you die. But it's not quite yet like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-PpU8MUbHE Apologies in advance for the cheesy music. But... yeah! Next, celestial navigation and license for bigger boats. And helping a friend bring a 45' catamaran from San Diego to San Francisco. Let's go sailing!

Dear Tribe

drfiasco — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 18:59:45 GMT

I think your self-esteem may be running low. So let me help you a bit with some facts. 1. Tribe has, hands down, the best user interface of all social networking sites. It looks good and it has the most functionality. I mean, it'd be nice to be able to post YouTube videos, a bit of HTML tags and a bit of innocent javascript, but if you compare it to Facebook or (urgh!) MySpace or Orkut, there is just no comparison. Tribe wins. 2. There are many, many people, myself included, on Tribe who don't have accounts at any other networking site and who refuse to go anywhere else. We like Tribe, for the aforementioned reason, but also for the following one: 3. Tribe has an interesting and unique demographic. True, the Financial Times called it "The Social Networking Site for the Soap-Dodging Set". Sure we have our share of Burning Man hippies here, but so much more. The great thing is that Tribe allows the kind of adult discourse (adult in the "not dumbed down for teenagers" sense, but also the more common acception of the word too) that is banned in Those Other Social Networking Sites. In the dreaded Jan Gullet days, Tribe tried to MySpacificate itself. It tried to be something for everyone, and we all know how that ends. Thankfully, the McDonaldslization was aborted before much harm was done. Tribe has something going for it, which is a grip on the edgy, interesting, I hate that word but I'll use it now here it goes, "hip" 30-something demographic. Why Tribe isn't capitalizing on that is a mystery to me. Being small and niche has its advantages too! The future of the web is in small and niche in my opinion, not large and general. Tribe demographics is anything but vanilla. Now, I understand that Mark Pincus will keep on putting money into Tribe only for so long, and with good reason. I think Tribe still has enormous potential. Yes, it is a lot smaller than Those Other Social Networking Sites but in my experience, size doesn't count for much in the Internet. Yahoo was the 800 lb gorilla of searching when then tiny Google juggernaut showed up. Look at Facebook's recent growth. Look at Firefox. Except for Google, these are not stories of small becoming large. They're stories of small becoming big enough to be self-sustaining and profitable. Which is a good thing. It's OK not to be the biggest fish in the pond. It's actually better to be the most beautiful fish in the pond, or the most delicious fish in the pond, except maybe if you are the fish, in which case, ah heck, OK, I stretched the metaphor too far. I do it all the time. But you get the idea. So, in the interest of Tribe's continued survival, here are some ideas, not ranked in order of importance or sensibility or anything. Tribe can still make history if it can apply any of these successfully. - Ditch advertising. The traditional Internet business model of giving content away for free in exchange for allowing ad people to foist their crap on our eyeballs is old. It's the open television model. I will bet a Kit Kat that there is a sizable enough market out there for people who just want their content advertising-free. Some of them are the same people who pay a premium for satellite radio and cable. But how do you make money then? By charging a subscription fee. Tribe could be the first social networking service to believe in the quality of the experience it offers. It won't make Tribe huge, but it will make it profitable, and further align it with the ethos of the community that's already here, that's my bet. - Improve constantly. Add new features often. Improve the messaging interface. Add syndication to blogs. Allow videos and mp3s to be uploaded by users. Allow users to include HTML tags and limited javascript. Add more community tools, integrating wikis and calendars to tribes. This costs time and money, but just like in the cheesy baseball movie, if you build it they will come. And *they* will be the eary adopters, the technologically savvy, the innovators, in a word the people who make web sites take off. - Give it to the community. Make Tribe the first community-owned social networking site. Have the community elect representatives to sit on the Tribe Board. Have the community decide how to police itself, how to run the site, how to introduce new features, where to invest. This would be a giant, and potentially risky, breakthrough. But an opportunity to make history nonetheless - Involve the community. There are people here, myself included, with the skills and willigness to help Tribe with technical problems and just general engineering. Why not draw on the skills of this community to help build a better web site? You could either open source your code or just ask for volunteers to work on specific projects. I'm pretty sure you'd have more volunteers than you'd know what to do with. So, this is my rambling. Maybe the musings of a demented mind, but I've been around the web since 1992, I've worked on it, I still do. I 'd like to think I know a thing or two about it. And I care about the future of Tribe. Because I sure as hell ain't moving to MySpace. Love Dr. Fiasco