Enquanto isso, na Fiascosfera...

WE GOT HIM! - Tonight on Radio Valencia

drfiasco — Wed, 04 May 2011 20:55:03 GMT

It took years of intelligence gathering and a feverish manhunt. In the FINAL BROADCAST of NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Karen Carpenter and Dr. Fiasco are finally able to share details of a highly classified operation that involved the NSA*, the DMV and the AARP, in which... We finally obtained FRANK CHU's PHONE NUMBER!!!!! Yes, we are now finally able to call the Perennial Protester and Lexical Troublemaker to find out how the 12 Galaxies are holding up. We may also order some pizza for him and sign him up for a visit by the Jehovah's Witnesses. Watch in shock and awe as SEAL Team VI, guided by encrypted infra red CHU beacons, descends on John Hell's Imelda-esque lingerie closet, located in the remote, inhospitable, hostile and passive aggressive Shamalama Ding Dong Tribal Area! NOSE HAIR LINT GLAND, Radio Valencia's Spear Tip in the War on Tourism! Wednesdays from 10 PM to Midnight 87.9 MHz or www.radiovalencia.fm CALL-IN line:415-875-9051 And for those who don't listen to our show on the Internet or over FM, now you can also not listen to our show on podcasts! (if they exist.. stupid computer.) http://podcasts.radiovalencia.fm/nose_hair_lint_gland/ (* NOSEHAIRLINTGLAND Security Agency)

Things getting done

drfiasco — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:44:04 GMT

I take a while but I eventually finish things. Just the other day I finished a book I started reading in 1987... The paddleboard will not take as long, Inshallah. It will go across the 32 miles of the Ka 'iwi channel between Molokai and O'ahu, in a not too distant future. Now I need to finish the paddleboard, finish the genomics algorithm I'm working on and then I can go sailing for a while...

The Micronesia Sails Project

drfiasco — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:51:30 GMT

Have an old sail or parachute lying around? We can use it! I am taking off in a couple of months to sail for six months in Melanesia and Micronesia, in the Western Pacific. We will be going to some remote islands and atolls, some of which may not see a single visitor for up to two years. No landing strip, no ferry service, no electricity, no telephone. Maybe you get the idea. These people rely on sailing canoes for survival. Sailing is also an important part of their culture. This is also the region of famed navigators who can sail for hundreds of miles without charts, compasses, sextants or GPS, almost as if by magic. This is a dying art. There are a handful of skilled people left and it takes decades to become a navigator. There hasn't been an initiation ceremony for new navigators in the last 50 years. We want to help keep this tradition alive. My partner in crime, an Italian guy called Francesco, has been to this region before and says one of the most sought after items there are sails. So, we figured we'd make a tiny contribution to keep the art of sailing alive in these islands. If you have old sails (even ripped ones, as long as they are not all shreds, as we can cut them down to size and sew them to fit the canoes) or a parachute that you never got around to turning into a shade structure, and you are somewhere in the Bay Area,let me know and I will come and take it off your hands. I will ship the sails to the South Pacific and we'll pick them up on our way, fix them and distribute them to the native sailors we find on our way. Give me a call or email me, and we'll figure a time for me to come and pick your sail and/or parachute. Thanks for helping!

Tom Kennedy

drfiasco — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:29:15 GMT

"I once rode on top of his whale during a graceful dance with a Spanish galleon. Who gives his vision such flesh? Great men do." -Chris Radcliffe I've been surfing Ocean Beach since 1999. A lot of my time out there has been spent getting to know the various sand bars of the The Beach up close and personal while getting pounded by a wave breaking above. It is not a friendly place, by any means. When I surfed the North Shore of Oahu for the first time I found it surprisingly easy compared to Ocean Beach. And yet I still can't accept that Tom Kennedy drowned there yesterday, while I was surfing just a couple of miles down the beach. I actually considered moving to where Tom was since it is slightly more sheltered from the wind and I am wondering if I had been there things would have turned out differently. If you know Tom you understand. He's a bear of a guy, a force of nature. I got to know him while working at the Box Shop. I have a container there and work there occasionally. He and his wife Haideen were always working on something beautiful and outrageous. And they always looked like they were having a hell of a time. I looked at them and thought, "I want to be like these two.". They could make something totally ridiculous, half-assed and fun like the props for the Godbye Bush party they threw a couple of months ago, which was when I last saw Tom, or beautifully crafted art cars where every detail was carefully brought out by the skill of their hands. I learned a lot from just watching them work at the Box Shop, but Tom was also generous with his time and knowledge and gave me many pointers and ideas. Tom and Haideen made the Box Shop a fun place to be, just for their being there working. I am going to miss this guy a lot.

Yup

drfiasco — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:57:47 GMT

"What if someone voted for Moon Unit Zappa?"

drfiasco — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:30:25 GMT

The mixture of bureaucratic officiousness with some people's blatant disregard of the rules of the electoral process can yield one thing only: comedy gold. Fitting in a race where Al Franken is running. Or should I say Senator Franken? Too bad it wasn't nearly this much fun in Florida in 2000. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTg55m5YIwc

"We are Shellac of North America, thank you."

drfiasco — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:20:12 GMT

My friend swears this is true. Shellac is touring Brazil. For some obscure reason known only to promoters with limited geography background, someone books them in a tiny club in a small town way out in the boondocks. 5 people show up, wearing Doors t-shirts. At the end of the show: "Does anyone have a question for the band?" A skinny kid with baggy pants: "YOU ARE AMAZING, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE BAND???" "I'm Bob, this is Steve, this is Todd and we are Shellac of North America, thank you." The skinny kid raised his beer can and all smiled and went home happy.

I wants

drfiasco — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:14:08 GMT

The Rough Trade iPod boombox dock. Why have it fit in your pocket when you can flaunt it? The only drawback is, it only plays Grandmaster Flash.

Hooray!

drfiasco — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:21:17 GMT

Can we start the socialist redistribution right away or do we have to wait for the inauguration? Dibs on Dick Cheney's bunker! Bummer on Prop 8 and Al Franken though. The fight must go on.

As they say it...

drfiasco — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 02:12:00 GMT

...plant a tree, write a book, build a boat... I planted the tree, wrote the book (my 450-page graduate thesis that no one ever read), and now I'm running the risk of actually getting this thing built in my lifetime. Worse yet, if it doesn't sink in the Bay, then I have to paddle it from Catalina Island to Manhattan Beach... Picture by the most lovely and talented Jennalex.

Just because we didn't go to the nonsense in the desert...

drfiasco — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:31:11 GMT

doesn't mean we are not doing the Spock Science Monitor. Housing Bubble Bursts in Black Rock City By Dr. Fiasco, Foreign Irrespondent and Roper Marc, Chief of Operations In keeping with this year's American Dream theme, Black Rock City is seeing its share of abandoned lots and suburban slums due to a housing crunch caused by an abrupt decrease in attendance. Due to overly optimistic speculation in real estate development in the far suburbs of BRC, the Burning Man Corporation is being forced to extend terms of sale and possibly even sell properties at steep discounts. Many people who bought homes in BRC expecting ever-increasing ticket prices and attendance now find themselves stuck with properties no one wants in a real estate market flooded with vast acres of unsold lots. To compound the problem, playa developers catering to the burgeoning expectator demographics have built housing units that are now sitting virtually empty. " It's a complete washout", said Dick S. Haul, president of Burners Without Boarders, an association of "burnerpreneurs" affected by the real estate crisis. "I have six domes facing open playa and a couple of yurts right on Center Camp that I can't give away for free. That's it, next year I am going to Ibiza instead." Others, like Divine Summerlove Jones, a raw vegan pagan anarchist co-op worker from Arcata have had to resort to renting space to eurotrash ravers, drawn to the event by the strong Euro, so as to afford the rising cost of paying for his teepee in Black Rock City. "It's cool man, but I just wish they hadn't mistaken my didgeridoo for a sex toy", said Jones. Meanwhile, there have been reports that, taking a page from the Beijing Olympics book, the Burning Man Corporation has been busing vagrants from Reno to Black Rock City to occupy empty lots so as to make less evident the magnitude of the problem and keep investors from panicking. These claims are hard to verify as it is virtually impossible to distinguish vagrants from your average DPW worker. So far, the leadership of the Burning Man Corporation is not saying much. Larry Harvey, away on a South Pacific shellfish-eating junket on his 737, could not be reached. "He won't be landing in the city until a couple of hours before the burn", said Marion Goebbels, Director of Communications. "The dust doesn't really agree with him." But this doesn't mean that the Corporation is not acting. In order to stimulate the market, an incentive plan has been put in operation, the SSM has learned. Participants who commit to filling one city block will have their shade structures put up by the DPW. Two blocks gets Lady Bee to come and decorate your camp with beautiful crafts made out of recycled cardboard. Three city blocks gets Larry himself to come hang out with you for 10 minutes and if you fill four city blocks Larry will stay for 5 minutes and pretend he is your friend. Notorious fuck-up Chicken John was unavailable for comment.

My Burning Man Camp

drfiasco — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:55:32 GMT

Marc, Zoe the Dog and I will be at Prospect and Virginia this year. Come hang out with us, we'll hit you with a 2x4 on the head! We will also play Maiden really loud, steal your liquor, sleep with your girlfriend, leave the toilet seat up and eat your porridge while you frolic with the other hippies over at the dirtfest. See if we don't.

A message came down from the Heavens

drfiasco — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:04:07 GMT

After more than one year off, this is the first thing that came up when I turned on this synthesizer while I was setting up my little recording studio. The end is near.

Seems familiar?

drfiasco — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:50:19 GMT

"Hiring: DJ (house) - 2 openings DJ (jungle) - 1 opening" I guess this was back in the 90's before all the junglists sought asylum in Montreal.

Happy Birthday Jenn!

drfiasco — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:29:18 GMT

You're the best thing that happened to me in a long time. Ok, maybe not the best thing. But pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. Almost as good as the nutella chimichanga I had last year in that mexican restaurant. Pretty damn close, actually. That's a hard call. I think you're totally awesome and I have no idea why you're slumming with me, but it's not like I am going to plant that question in your mind by asking it, that'd be really dumb. Happy birthday, lovely. I love you. Kiko

I'm on the campaign trail

drfiasco — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:30:56 GMT

Since it seems that the good folks at the Homeland Security Department are taking their sweet time with my green card application (gentle suggestion: how about less coffee & smoking breaks, fellas?) I decided to extend my hand to the people. So, this being a campaign year and all, I am getting out there too. I'm rehearsing my stump speech. Paypal address for campaign contribution to come soon (yes, we do take soft money). Because together we can change the bridge to the next century for a better future with liberty and justice for all! Or something like that.

Putting the HA in Jihad

drfiasco — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:18:51 GMT

Because after a hard day of hating America, they too need to let their hair down a bit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w57JLmY5dmw&feature=related

I can haz no Lolcat?

drfiasco — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:02:48 GMT

Yes, they're out there. They escaped from the Interwebs and are prowling the neigborhood. I took this picktcha just a few feet away from the World Headquarters of the Fiasco Institute of Technology and Auto Dismantling, my think tank, also known to the unwashed masses of the Mission as Atlas Café.

Because the struggle of the peoples and the rain forest and the endangered tuna and...

drfiasco — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:23:25 GMT

So, I went to Whole Foods. I went in there and got some fruit. The fruit was organic, not because I care, but because they only had organic peaches. Got some sushi too. Went through the cashier, brought my own canvas bag with me, which entitles me to a 5c discount that I can either take or donate to charity. There's a list of charities I can choose from. So I donate my 5c to the Fund for the Oppressed Wymyn of the Island of Chunga or something like that. Then I went home in my (fuel-efficient, low emissions) car. While listening to NPR. And then I realized. I am that guy. That guy Republicans and country singers love to hate. God, how did I become the poster boy for Stuff White People Like?

Let's play a game

drfiasco — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:07:01 GMT

In this game, you guess what I entered in Google to find this pearl. First place gets a free lap dance from Frankenstein Jones' Bureau of Discount Exotic Dancers. Offer not valid in Canada. Some restrictions may apply.

Sesame Street this Ain't

drfiasco — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 23:05:55 GMT

A cardboard Palestinian boy killed a puppet representing US president George W. Bush in a popular kids show broadcast in the Gaza Strip by Hamas' Al Aqsa TV. Wielding the "Sword of Islam" the puppet boy ignored pleas for clemency and the promise of a White House filled with toys. "You are a criminal, Bush, a despicable man. You made me an orphan." said the puppet, who blamed Bush for the deaths of his father during the Iraq War, of his mother in Lebanon and his siblings in the "Palestinian Holocaust". Wearing fatigues and boxing gloves, the Bush puppet asked for help from his friends but was ultimately defeated by his young opponent. Last year, Farfur - a character in the same kids show bearing striking resemblance to Mickey Mouse - was "assassinated" by Israeli agents after protests from Disney due to the similarity to its character. He was substituted by the bee Naoul, who also "died" from lack of medications due the Israeli Army blockade. The bunny Assud, the aspiring martyr who succeeded Naoul, remains alive.

A Very Special Cine Fiasco - Dream Screen Short Film Festival

drfiasco — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:10:19 GMT

Awakening from its winter slumber. This time not one, but a whole bunch of films. It will be the World Première of my friend Dean Mermell's latest short, "Lucid" and we are putting out a submissions call for shorts on the subject of dreams. More info below: Dream Screen Short Film Festival April 25, 2008 The mysterious world you spend a good third of your life in should have its own film fest. Well, maybe not a full-on festival, maybe a deeply intense evening of quality short films that dwell on the dream theme. So for the first time, San Francisco will host the Dream Screen Short Film Festival, and you’re invited to submit. There is no entry fee and nothing to win! This is a non-competitive, informal event, a cinematic exploration of dreams as seen through the eyes of modern filmmakers. Films should be under 10 minutes (though if you have something longer, please submit it for consideration). Films may be any genre, including narrative, experimental, comedy, animation, and documentary. Any film with a central theme of dreams or dreaming will be considered. Submissions should be on NTSC DVD and are due by April 11th 2008. Yup, soon. You will be notified a few days later if your film is accepted. DVD submissions will not be returned unless you provide a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Accepted films must be submitted on DV or DVCAM by April 21st for compilation in the program. Like, soon! The location for this dreamy event will be the “ChickenPlex”, home and headquarters of 2007 San Francisco Mayoral Candidate and arts impresario Chicken John. It’s an awesome screening room that can hold a lot of people. Your film will be nicely projected and sound good, too. There may be live music and festive libations. Please send your DVD submission(s) to: Dean Mermell Dream Screen Short Film Festival 121 Santa Marina st San Francisco, CA 94110 Please label each entry with your name, phone, email, the name of your film, and total running time. If your film is accepted, we’ll get in touch with you for more details to put in the program. Questions? dean@storyfarm.com

Marc

drfiasco — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 23:06:15 GMT

I met Marc back in 2004, during the whole Borg2 kerfuffle. I took the above picture of him (which I just stole from his profile since I can't find it anywhere) during the Flying Pig thing at the Shipyard. Since then, we've been through several adventures and hardships together. He was also Person of the Week once (see http://people.tribe.net/drfiasco/blog/ee9cd17e-8657-441d-9955-2bf297968be5 ) And I'm really glad I met him. Happy Birthday Marc.

The dream

drfiasco — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:38:27 GMT

Translated from a column by Carlos Heitor Cony: I dreamed that Hillary arrived at home, in a state of euphoria and said to her husband: "Bill, this time I really knocked out Obama! I promised that I'd be transparent as no president in this country ever was, definitely more than you, who were so opaque in that case with the intern. To demonstrate it, I decided that I'd accept myself as I really am and announced I'd stop wearing a wig. In theatrical gesture that was followed by a frenzy of applause, I yanked my wig and threw it to the audience!" The former President and husband was trying to read, with little interest, a position paper on global warming and its consequences, an issue that did not personally alarm him. Without looking up from his paper, he said, quizzically: "But honey, you've never worn a wig."

Stuff White People Like

drfiasco — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:10:02 GMT

This is pretty much on the money. The only question is, since I'm kinda, like, not from this country and all ethnic and exotic and stuff, is it OK for me to make fun of you white people? http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/