I dreamt last night of finding a journal that had belonged to a friend of mine.We had known each other back in 7-8th grade and I haven't seen her since 1990-91.Normally I don't get too emotionally overwhelmed in my dreams,in this one I lost it.It was as if she had died and I had just been told,several years too late.I actually woke up wanting to cry and couldn't the tears wouldn't come.The whole dream was odd,I was on the property where she lived, but the house,etc wasn't there.It looked like I had stepped back over a 100 years and looking at how it once was before her family had moved there.It was so beautiful,calm and serene.The road I was walking on was an old dirt road that forked into two lanes,one is long gone now (in reality washed out about 50 or so years ago,never repaired) the other fork is now paved and full of potholes.In reality the place is a rundown trash heap,a dump.Alot of bad shit happened there.Yet in my dream it was as if I could see it as it was before it was permanently scared and ruined by time.Which seems bizzarely fitting.Knowing what I do of her real life past,disturbing.I just wish I knew why I keep dreaming of her,guilt over not being able to help or do more for her? Having to let go,which is never easy for me?