For those of you who don't know and for those of you who've blocked it from your memory, Neil used to smell bad in college...REALLY bad. He also used to have a scary jewfro. He would also wave around shiny, pointy objects and chase things noone else could see. But despite that, he's a supercool friend. In fact, he's always nice and courteous...until he gets to know you, then he's a rude, insolent, overbearing bastard that never fails to give you his opinion whether you want it or not. But really, he's the most super smart, generous, intellectually curious, caring, fun person you could ever hope to meet let alone call friend as I do. And most importantly he's not afraid to bitchslap the ladies if that's what he thinks they need.

In another life, when we were other people, Neil and I did not like each other very much. I know, I can't believe it, either, because now I can't imagine not having him as a friend. Never in my life have I had so much fun insulting, and being insulted by, another person. If there is a Japanese martial art he can learn, he will learn it, and do it better than you. His discipline and devotion in such things in unmatched. He can do an impression of Eric Cartman better than anyone EVER. He is equally comfortable with discussing the rudiments of the universe and f*cking sh*t up on Vice City. He walks with a spring in his step and drives like a maniac. Sometimes when he's goofing around, his face changes, and you can kinda see what he looked like when he was a little boy. None of that other stuff matters, though, because the REAL reason beyond all other reasons that Neil rocks is this: he turned me on to sushi. I don't need to say anything else.