10/3/07 (The last post actually happened on 10/2/07, but I couldn;t get on the internet, So I wrote in in Word to remember everything. This post is from today 10/3/07)

I worked only a half a day today so that I could hook up with some friends. I have been missing Scott. When Scott and I are together it is magical. I feel so special and loved. When Scott and I have sex it is out of this world. He is an amazing lover. He really knows what he is doing. And he is well sized for the job. Because Scott is out of town until Friday night, I called some friends that I have played with in the past.

Henry, Ricky and Jonny, and their dad Hank, and Rick and Jeff and their dad Tom, Mike and Rene and their dad Ed, came over today. They all took off time from work to be with me. Mike is single, so he didn’t have to worry about his wife knowing they were with me, but the others kind of did. But they didn’t care. They wanted to be with me and wanted to help me feel less lonely. They are real friends.

Henry, Ricky, Jonny and Hank showed up first. As the others arrived they joined in. By one o clock they were all at my house. By the time Rick, Jeff and Tom showed up I was feeling like I was with Scott. They were making me feel the way Scott does when we have sex.

Everyone but Mike had to leave around six o clock. By about four o clock I was feeling like I was with Scott. After everyone else left, Mike and I had sex a couple more times. My entire being, inside and out, felt like Scott was with and in me. Mike mentioned that I was more passionate today than I have been in the past. And I seemed to be really happy. I told him I was happy, and I was in love. Mike told me that being in love made me a better lover. I agreed.

Mike told me that I seemed to want him and the others more than I had in the past. I agreed again. I told Mike how special Scott makes me feel. Mike told me he was happy that I found someone who makes me feel that way. As we talked some more Mike and I had sex again. As we had sex Mike told me that he thought that I would some day fall in love. He told me that I hadn’t stopped talking about Scott even when I was with him and everyone else today. I asked him how that made him feel. Mike told me it felt better than it ever did before, and he had Scott to thank.

As we had sex Mike had me tell him about me and Scott and Joe. He wanted to know all the details, So, I told him everything. The more I told Mike the more passionate he seemed to get. Finally Mike realized the time and had to go. After Mike left and I was able to reflect, I really liked how I felt because it felt like I had just been with Scott, or even Scott and Joe.

As I am writing this, it feels like Scott is still in me. Because of Henry, Ricky, Jonny, Hank, Rick, Jeff, Tom, Rene, Ed and Mike, I am feeling like Scott is actually here and not on the other side of the country. My body is energized and exhausted like Scott makes it. Sitting here it actually feels like Scott and Joe are in me.

Tomorrow I am meeting with my sister’s bio dad and some of his friends. I am hoping it is like today was. Henry, Ricky, Jonny and Hank are coming over again tomorrow, too. So, it should be a really good time.

I think that when Scott gets home I will still want him as badly as I do now, yet I will not have had to go without just because he is out of state.

Scott called and he knows that I have been and will be with others until he gets home. Joe knows, too. I told them both that I miss them very much and it is because I miss them that I have seen the others. Joe said he felt a little hurt that I have seen others, but kind of understood. Scott told me I had to do what I had to do.

I told Scott and Joe both that if they were here I would have been with them. And they told me they knew that. I also told them that the other lovers were friends, too, and that it would be wrong to just blow them off. No pun intended.

Scott told me that he wishes that he could be here when I am with the others. I told him if he were here I wouldn’t probably be with them. He responded telling me that he wished he was anyway.

Hank is a lot like Scott in many ways, especially in bed. Tom is very good as well. And Mike is really good, too. I very much enjoyed being with all of them. It felt good being with old friends again and doing what we all love to do.

I have a feeling that when I begin to miss Scott that Henry, Ricky, Jonny, Hank, Rick, Jeff, Tom, Rene, Ed, Mike and others like my friends Russ, Mike, Adrian, Paul, Jim and his son Justin, my sister’s bio dad and guys my dad works with will be willing to be with me. That means a lot to me.

Earlier today, before everyone showed up, I was missing Scott so much it hurt. I wanted to give myself to Scott, and I did so by giving myself to everyone that came today. When I talked to Scott I could still feel him in me from earlier. It felt good to still feel him in me and talk to him on the phone at the same time.

I know I am in love. And that is why I needed to see my old friends. They helped me to stay physically connected to Scott even though he is on the other side of the country.

I think I know how I am going to be monogamous for Joe and Scott, but I don’t think it is how they thought it could or would be. My way of being monogamous with them is by being with others because of my love for Scott and Joe.

Joe wasn;t happy to hear that I was with so many men today. He actually cried. I felt so bad for him. I told him I did it because I miss him and Scott. Joe told me that didn’t make any sense to him, yet he didn’t want that to come between us. Joe told me today that he is in love with me. I told Joe that when Mike was with me after everyone left I felt like I was with him. I told Joe that when Mike came it felt a lot like when he came, Mike just came more each time than he does.

Joe asked me if he were here today if I would have invited him to join in the fun. I told him yes. I told him that he was the reason I had so many guys over. Joe asked me to wait until he came home and he would make me feel like the others had. I told him I could not make that guarantee. I did tell him that I would not see others on Friday when he and Scott came back home. He said that was a good thing. And I agreed.

I am working another half day tomorrow. I don’t want to spend the whole day wishing I was with Scott or Joe or both. So, Ed, my sister’s bio dad, and his friends, and Henry, Ricky, Jonny and Hank are going to come over around 1:00 or so. I think that should help.
Henry, Ricky, Jonny and Hank have been a big help the last couple days. And I know they won’t let me down tomorrow.

Scott may be thousands of miles away, and Joe hundreds, but luckily I have friends who are willing to help me feel physically connected to Scott and Joe when I can’t actually be with them. These are true friends who are willing to take time from their day to spend time with me when I really need them. And to me that means a lot.