Another awesome weekend. Friday night Scott took me to see Spamalot, the Monty Python play. It was a great play, and it was even more special because I was with Scott. Scott and I went shopping for a dress for me to wear. It is a beautiful dress that fits me very, very well. After the play we went to dinner and then went to the Adam’s Mark Hotel for the night. The sex with Scott was magical. The whole night was magical.

After Scott had breakfast brought to the room Saturday morning, we ate and made love again. Scott is so romantic. He seems to know my body better than I do, and what to do to make me just melt.

We drove back to Scott;s house early afternoon Saturday and spent some of the day working on the “55” Chevy that he is restoring. Around 5:00 Joe came over and he and Scott put in a new tub and toilet in the guest bathroom. While Scott and Joe worked in the bathroom me and Debbie talked.

I asked Debbie how she was doing. She answered by telling me that Scott was happier now that I am in his life as his friend and lover and new wife. I didn’t know what to say. So, Debbie continued and told me that Scott told her that his bedroom was his and mine. Debbie told me that Scott is happier than he has ever been, and that I was the reason. I continued to listen.

Debbie told me that she hadn’t thought this would go where it has. She told me first off that she was not worried about me being with Scott because he always comes back to her. But she knows that isn’t the case any more. Debbie told me that Scott has never taken her to a play, nor has he ever taken her to a hotel. I told her I was sorry. Debbie told me not to be sorry because I make Scott happy in a way she never has been able to.

I asked Debbie what she felt I did that made Scott happy in a way she never has been able to. Debbie told me that me wanting him to be who he used to be was the key. Debbie explained that Scott had a lot of girlfriends before he and she met. Scott was well known in their school for his ability to please the girls. And a lot of girls wanted to be with him. She told me she wondered for years how she got so lucky to have him, and him to want to be with her.

Debbie further explained that Scott was bigger than she had thought he would be, and that when they did have sex their first time it hurt, and it has hurt every time since. She admitted that Scott is a master when it comes to oral skills, and even though he got her wet, she was too small for him and when he entered her it was like giving birth. She explained that she has had only C sections and still has a very small vagina.

Debbie told me that Scott is very aggressive in bed, which I knew. She said that even when he was gentle it still hurt like hell to have him in her. Debbie told me that Scott has told her that although I am tight that he can get all the way in me and he loves that. She said that other women he has been with have never been able to take him the way I have, and that that is one of the reasons I make him happy in a way she can’t.

I asked Debbie if it was just the sex that he liked. Debbie sighed then told me that Scott loves just being near me. She said that when he reads Emails I send him he gets all blushy. Debbie told me that Scott talks about me all the time when I am not there. Debbie told me that I am what Scott has always wanted her to be. She added that me being so young is a big help, too.

Debbie told me that me being her daughter’s age made it special for Scott because our relationship is borderline taboo. Debbie told me she knows that she has lost Scott, but she is happy that he is happy. Debbie and I talked for a few minutes more, then she went to her friends house for the night to play cards with her friend and her friend;s husband, and another friend.

After Debbie left Scott informed me that the husband of Debbie;s friend and Debbie had been lovers in the past. Scott told me that he and Debbie and the friends that Debbie went to see used to play strip for sexual favors and that Debbie really liked her friend;s husband because as Debbie has put it “He fits me so well.” Scott told me that he was pretty sure that Debbie is seeing the couple for more than just cards and board games. And he doesn;t mind

I asked Scott why he loved me. He kissed me and I forgot what I asked him. He led me to our bedroom and we commenced to make love. I had forgotten that Joe was still there, but I remembered soon afterward. It was 8:00 before it came to me and I asked Scott where his youngests were. He told me they were at their grandmother;s house. Joe added, “So, it’s just the three of us for the night.”
I admit it felt good being with both Scott and Joe, but what made it special was realizing that I was part of their father and son bonding experience.
Scott and Joe are not the first father and son I have been with sexually. I also am now seeing another father and son. This experience is not new to me. I like it when a father and son can do anything together, especially when the son is older. Too often fathers and sons do not do enough together. And I have been fortunate enough to be what the fathers and sons do together. Knowing that both the father and son have the same memories to remember and talk about means a lot to me.

I come from a very close family. And too many families out there are not very close at all. Like with Scott and Joe, they are close anyway, but to be able to be with me together, sexually, is something few fathers and sons get to do together. The fathers and sons I have been with have had wonderful relationships that were nothing more than enhanced by being with me, physically. I am not saying that it was me that made their relationship any closer, but I know I have been a part of it.

I have to admit that although I have been with other fathers, Scott is not just another father or another lover. I feel I truly love him. And that he is willing to share me with his son means a lot to me. Scott tells me he loves me and wants me to be in his life for the rest of his life. And I want to be. Scott tells me that he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone else. I feel the same way.

Although I will see others, sexually, being with Scott means much more to me. Scott has asked me to not see others other than he and Joe. Joe has also asked me to be with just him and Scott. They both want me to be monogamous with them. Joe is now single, or available because the girl he was seeing found out about me. So, Joe wants me to be with him and Scott only. When I asked Joe about his girlfriend, Joe just told me to forget about her because he had.

Scott has stopped having sex with Debbie and Joe split up with his girlfriend because of me. Joe told me that he isn’t sure if he loves me, but he wants to continue seeing me. He told me I am everything he has ever wanted a girl to be. And Scott has told me that not only do I make him happier than he has ever been, but it pleases him to see Joe as happy as I make him.

Kim came home Sunday morning to find me and Scott and Joe still asleep. Debbie had taken the girls to the mall and Kim had spent the night with a husband I introduced her to. The guy Kim stayed the night with is married to a flight attendant. So, his wife is gone a lot. Kim looked in on us and smiled and said “good morning.” I nodded, then got out of bed.

I asked Kim how things went and she thanked me several times. Brad, the guy she had stayed with, is the same age as Scott. Kim told me she thought being with Brad was going to feel like being with her dad, but it was good, better than she had expected it to be. Brad is the first guy that she has dated that is older, as old as her dad. She admitted she wished she had dated older guys a long time ago.

Kim asked me how things were going. I motioned toward her dad;s and my bedroom. Kim hugged me and told me she was happy for the three of us. I told her I was glad. I also told her that Joe and Scott both wanted me to be monogamous with them, and only them. Kim didn’t say anything for a minute, then told me that her mom, Debbie, had told her that if anyone could keep them monogamous it was me.

I asked Kim what she thought. Kim told me that I am all that she hears Scott and Joe talk about. I asked Kim if that was a bad thing. She said it wasn’t. She added that she was probably not the person to ask, considering she was now sleeping with a married man, something she has not done before. I asked Kim if she thought I was taking time away from his younger siblings. She assured me that Scott is doing a good job of balancing and sharing his love.

All I know is that I am in love. I am not sure I can or will be monogamous with Scott and Joe. I do love Scott, and feel for him feelings I have never felt for anyone else, and I do very much enjoy being with Joe, but I am not sure I am ready to settle down and be with just two guys for the rest of my life.

The one thing that has meant a lot to me is that although I am Scott;s “love of his life”, he still shares me with Joe who says I am everything he has ever wanted a girl to be. The thing is that I can’t limit my love. To me being in love means I want to be with Scott more than anyone else. I enjoy being with both Scott and Joe a lot. I also like being with Wayne and Dave, Henry, Ricky, Jonny and their dad Hank, etc. And I still like hooking up with several other male friends at the same time. As I have said before, the only time I have felt like Scott makes me feel is when I am with several other male friends one after another or all at the same time.

This last weekend was awesome, full of memories. Yet I still have a lot to think about and through. Scott is out of town till Friday, and Joe is in Grand Junction. Wayne and Dave are not available. I miss Scott, a lot. Although I am in love with Scott, I have other friends I also want to continue seeing. And several of them together can make me feel like Scott makes me feel. I do not want to give up what I already have for just one or two people.

I have been told that when you are in love that you are a different person. You change. I am not sure what that means. I still want to be with old friends. I have enjoyed being with others in the past, and I am not sure that will ever change. And I am not sure about this whole monogamy thing. Although Scott and Joe only want to be with me, and I do really love being with the both of them, I am not sure I only want to be with them only.

There have been more times than I can count that I have had several men in my bed at one time. And those times have been magical, too. When I am alone with Scott he makes me feel like I am the most special woman on the planet. Yet, I also feel that way when I have several men with and in me in a night. And I feel the same way after Scott or after several men have sex with me.

In closing, I have to say that it is weird knowing that it takes like seven guys to make me feel like Scott does, and more to make me feel like Scott and Joe do together. Maybe being in love makes me feel more. I am not sure. What I do know is that I am in love with Scott and want to be with him more than anyone else.

I want to feel what Scott makes me feel. And because I am polyamorous I can and have been with others. And I will still be. And since I have been seeing Scott, many of the men I have seen in the past have been calling me and wanting to be with me. And close friends I saw a lot have been telling me they miss me. That means a lot to me. I don’t think being in love should mean I should forget about or stop seeing or having sex with other men. I have loved them, too.

Being in love is confusing. I want to be with Scott because I love him and I love how he makes me feel. Yet he is married and has a wife and children. He and Joe may have stopped having sex with others, but does that mean I have to? And just because both Scott and Joe make me feel like a Goddess, does that mean I have to give up others who make me feel that way collectively, too?

I got with Henry, Ricky, Jonny and their dad Hank earlier today, and it was a blast. It felt really good to be with them. I am not in love with them, but I do love them and love being with them. I always have. Yet when I was with them I saw Scott;s face in their faces.
Is that love?