Show Report - "Best of Midwest Burlesk" show in Mpls Jan 11-12

Two nights of performing "The Circus" as a guest act with Tina in "The Best of Midwest Burlesk" at the Ritz Theater in Minneapolis with Lily's Burlesque Revue.

Nice open stage, lots of room to move. Long evenings, with 14 performers including other guest artists, some of the best I've seen in a long time.

It was good to see Jamison the Juggler, again -- I've shared a lot stages with him, and he is one of the acts I like to watch from backstage -- young (21), he's good -- hell, he was the 2007 Minnesota State Juggling Competition First Place winner -- I'm sure we'll be seeing and hearing a lot more from him. Personally, I'm looking forward to March, when his website launches.

Michelle L'amour stopped the show - twice - with some spectacular work. In "White Fans," she recreated sally Rand's famous fan dance to Debussey's "Clair de Lune" and did it so well she made it her own. To show this was no flash in the pan, she closed the show with an hilarious Snow White send-up that had the audience screaming for more poisoned apples. Small wonder she was Miss Exotic World 2005 and wowed audiences when she appeared on last season's "America's Got Talent."

Another unexpected delight was Lola Van Ella, who unleashed a spectacular singing voice as well as an ace sense of comedic timing as she played the shy girl going over the edge and stripping in one of the funniest strip skits I've seen in years. A superbly talented, well rounded artist, this St Louis resident definitely raised the bar for the other performers by her visit to the twin Cities. Brava!

And it was good to see the other usual suspects, as well: Mia Malone, David Harris (as Ned the Magnificent), Jim and David (The Meteor Boys), Sweet LilyBee (who worked as my Target Girl at Ahman's Shooters Roundup weekend, last summer), Carmella Carnes, Ophelia Flame, the lovely Lola Bel Aire, Sweetpea, Karen Vieno Paurus, Gina Louise (who produced the whole shebang), tap dancers Kaleena and Nick, Foxy Tann and the Wham Bams, and the Southside Aces providing first class music for the evening, all shepherded and paraded by the ever-entertaining Nadine DuBois, one of my favorite people and one of the best Mistresses of Ceremonies I've had the honor to know.

And, of course, me and Tina. We have performed this routine ("The Circus") so often we could do it in our sleep, but it is so much fun -- for the audience AND for us - that it is still fresh and exciting. Especially when Tina throws me a curve, now and then. This time, she did it during our 'tit for tat" styrofoam-cut segment. I pull out styrofoam strips and cut them with my bullwhip - behind my back, behind my ear, off the top of my head -- and she follows me step for step in these positions, forcing me to cut the strips as she holds them in mirrored poses of my own cuts. Once, though, I cut two inches off the end of a strip and she continued to hold it there. So I cut it again -- and she continued to hold it. I finally decided enough was enough (we need to stay on our music cues!), so I cut the strip very close to her fingers, leaving nothing left to cut. She quickly moved on the next strip, but I saw the twinkle in her eyes, and I swear if she held a postage stamp out for me and I cut it in half, she'd smile at the audience and then hold it sideways at me to cut into quarter-pieces before we moved on to our next stunt!

(I have posted a video clip from our act on YouTube at www.youtube.com/watch

It was a great show -- if you were there, you already know this. And if you weren't there, I just gave you an idea of what you missed. So maybe next time...?

"When Opportunity Knocks"

I see that "America's Got Talent" is on the prowl again, judging by the email they sent me, asking me to participate in the new year's quest.

It seems to be their standard operating procedure, to invite professional performers, often without the need to endure the usual cattle call "audition" process. Last season, I saw that the professionals were kept on until the second round, and then eliminated after the superior quality of their acts attracted an audience. Dangerous circus acts, in particular, were given short shrift.

Two years ago, the whip performer Gery Deer was lumped in with two other performers and given 15 seconds to do one candle-snuffing stunt. Last year, the cowboy whip cracker used nylon black light whips -- on a stage which was brightly lit with regular lighting, not black lights, so the effect was completely lost.

The top-notch knife thrower Throwdini was shown in the second round throwing three knives, although he threw dozens of knives around his attractive assistant in his allotted time. One knife hit a knot in the board and did not stick, and the editors of the show saw fit to splice in a resounding "clang" of metal on metal, and to make this the third and last knife he threw. He also was the butt of a "bloody" bandage sight gag sprung by the show's host.

All this reminded me of the experience of whip artist Chris Camp, who was excited to be invited to appear on Leno's Tonight Show. His appearance in the opening audience game portion consisted of him being dressed in a 1950's kid's cowboy suit and standing next to a rugged actor, who was chosen by the audience member as the "real" whip cracker.

I was not surprised by any of this. In Los Angeles, I was dismissed as "a white guy with a whip" by a TV program's black celebrity guest. On the show "Blind Date," I was edited down to 10 seconds in which I cut two people in half with a whip (complete with CGI blood gushes) -- happily, my name did not appear anywhere in the credits. After these and a few other experiences in La La Land, I started saying "No" when some show like "Ellen" would ask me to come in to their studio.

Never mind the lack of pay for such appearances. Never mind that such priceless "publicity" does nothing to reflect the true quality of fine performers, since it reduces them to fodder for miniscule imaginations bound tightly by their own stereotypes and preconceptions. Never mind that "Reality is elsewhere," as Rimbaud said.

Still, AGT has asked me take part. I am sooo honored just to be asked, of course, but I think you will have to look elsewhere to find me -- And my heart goes out to all the folks who will invest their time and energy in this farce.

Sometimes opportunity knocks, and sometimes it scratches at the back door like a dog. “Cave canem,” my friends.


Robert Dante
bullwhip.tv
bullwhip.net