the fair weather report

I am a Witch! A Queen! A Goddess!!!...

Mer — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:05:44 GMT

…a serpent, a lion, an eagle,…. But, regardless of manifestation, I've always been intense and passionate, erotic, sensuous and motivated by spiritual and intellectual ideals no more than by earthy lusts. What, you, too? I guess that’s what makes Tantra so blissfully empowering – it encourages the sublimation of our human nature. I arrived at the 3-day Ecstasy workshop along with a lifetime of yearning and desire, unmet needs, unfulfilled dreams, unrequited love, uhealed wounds, anger, pain, an abundance of determined, loving optimism and beautiful ideals I refuse to surrender. My idealism and my smoldering frustration both led me to the Wellspring retreat center in the woods of Germantown, MD, with the idea that I could glean some enlightening understanding from practicing the ancient wisdom of Tantra – and hopefully gain some healing and empowerment, too - to help guide my efforts toward becoming my higher self. I knew I could be living a more ecstatic life, and maybe more than that, I wanted some relief from the depression that was holding me back. I’d taken the preliminary course, Bliss, a month or so beforehand, but couldn’t describe what exactly Tantra was – although I intuited that I already knew enough through my experience. That’s one of the things I liked most about these Butterfly Workshops – the instructors don’t define things – don’t tell their students exactly what to expect or how to interpret what happens. It seems that Tantra is a wholy experiential process, and much like dreams, its revelations are entirely personal. There were 10 women and 10 men in the course – most from NYC - and it didn’t surprise me at all that the only person I found carnally enticing was a friend of mine from Brooklyn who’d come to participate as a facilitator, accompanied by his kick ass girlfriend, who would be taking the course. While this man had seemed dramatic and intriguing on the playa and at NYC freak parties, he was absolutely sexy and alluring that weekend. Perhaps he was merely out of context in the granola ambience of the retreat center, but he appeared a total rock star - all mysterious and roughly masculine - cocky, kingly and glamorously edgy. Unfortunately, by mutually set boundaries, this guy was off limits, presenting me with the tragically familiar scenario of having to suppress my desire. For the most part, the others seemed like normal people (I mean, not weirdos like us) – and over the weekend I learned that, in fact, they were truly extraordinary, demonstrating strikingly profound insight, spirituality, love and giving great advice! - leading me to ponder our innate Buddha nature. (I suppose that means that even the people who spread nasty rumors, steal our money or cut us off in traffic are sleeping Buddhas – capable of great spirituality, compassion, and consciousness if awakened!) Everyone present at Ecstasy was genuinely caring, open and supportive, and some were quite talented in the ways of energy healing or had traveled other esoteric pathways to personal development and transformation. There were reiki practitioners, a spiritual guide and a transgender Wiccan priestess among us. Although they weren’t all comfortable with the workshop's eccentric exercises, they gradually relaxed their inhibitions so that by Sunday, we were crawling around on the floor, blindfolded, faithfully channeling our totem animals. I loved it! Every chance to dance, sing, make strange noises, draw or dramatize something thoroughly delighted me, and I ate it all up with a big spoon. So what did we do? Basically, we performed certain meditative, kundalini, yogic and chanting exercises to stir up the energy in our bodies and direct it toward accomplishing our intentions. Then, we engaged in activities that caused us to examine various aspects of ourselves. We identified what it is we desire, then set clear intentions for ourselves to fulfill, based on what we *really* want. We focused on these intentions throughout the weekend, and the belief that we could fulfill any goal we wanted to if we channeled our entire energy, being and desire into it. And we performed fascinating puja rituals. That is the way of Tantra! But, being honest about what one *really* desires is often not so easy, as it can mean confronting what has long been buried under denial - kind of like pulling the band-aid off of a wound. For many of us, some painful truth extraction was necessary, which was expertly carried out by our instructors – one falling into the maternal role, and the other playing a prying, childlike “bad angel” - who really put us on the spot and made us admit to things we thought we'd cleverly hidden, but which were practically obvious to everyone else. On my part, I knew what I was avoiding when I chose the very Zen intentions of achieving "Zen bliss now" and “freedom from desire.” To deal with the seemingly endless pain of unfulfilled desire, I'd decided to try to overcome desire itself. Exploring Zen Buddhism was helping with that task. No desire, no pain, right? It seemed like a good solution to me. Stating what I *really* wanted came with explosive releases of exasperation, hurt and rage - tremendous emotions that have been spilling over onto every facet of my life. The workshop created a safe space for catharsis, too – in fact, insisted on it. I’ve trained myself to be ashamed of receiving lots of help and attention, so during the most intense activity of the weekend, I squirmed a bit when people focused on trying to heal me. Weary and filled with the glow of having aimed all of my positive energy into healing others during their turns at catharsis, I was reluctant to enter a dark reservoir of negative emotions. My persistent group of attendant healers shook, goaded and even squashed me under pillows, trying to get me to release my feelings. However, it was my seductive friend from Brooklyn who came to the rescue, instinctually knowing exactly how to set me off. Moments later, I was screaming, fighting, trying to overpower the men who held me down, and growling, "I am a witch! I am a powerful queen! If I weren't so kind I would destroy you!" "AAAAAGH!" …more soon….

Threshold of Anything I Want

Mer — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 03:41:48 GMT

"This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all!... The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond." -Rumi Tomorrow, I'll write the story of my tantric awakening....

The Heart of Gaia at Wicker Man 2008

Mer — Sat, 31 May 2008 04:38:38 GMT

It was a memorable weekend of earthy pleasures and mystical delights! Set in a scenic mountain forest, Wicker Man was all about celebrating the earth, the senses, the feeling of aliveness one has when dancing under the stars and realizing that we are all part of the greater universe. The 40-foot tall, pine Wicker Man had a lot of character. He growled, bellowed and taunted us – “Burn me if you can!” We did! Those who attended the event expressed a deep appreciation for art, nature, community and often, the spiritual and esoteric. I loved the fact that one could participate in tantra, yoga, meditation, taketina rhythm journeys and contact improv dance, as well as simply swim in a gorgeous stream, savor homemade wines and eat warm, delicious bread, baked on site. The sunny days felt terrific, but the nights were cold, and by dusk we were breathing clouds. However, the music and dance scenes at the Party Liberation Front and Melodic Temple were fantastically *hot*, and we danced and spun fire 'til dawn. One could wander off into the woods or fields for quieter earth appreciation, too – or watch a chemist create astoundingly colorful flames in the camp fire. Despite all the opportunities for socializing or sensual introspection, I spent most of the time working busily, like an industrious ant, crawling back and forth and dragging materials through the woods to create an art piece called, Heart of Gaia (for which I received an art grant from the event organizers, Four Quarters Interfaith Sanctuary). I enjoyed the meaningful effort of my project, and was rewarded by the result - an interesting, shimmery, glowing spectacle – which will remain where it belongs, on a bed of dandelions, in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by pines. On Sunday, my body felt broken and spent. Miraculously, the universe answered my prayers by connecting me to Matthew, a soulful, holistic healer and massage therapist, whose intuitive touch revitalized me, mind, body and spirit. It was just the adventure I needed. For glimpses of my sculpture and Wicker Man, see my photos at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/meriskeen/sets/72157605344050371/detail/

For Whom the Siren Screams

Mer — Wed, 21 May 2008 16:42:34 GMT

My next door neighbors' mansion burned down this morning. The shriek of sirens roused me out of bed as every fire truck in the county pulled up to the hydrant infront of my house. The last time I'd awakened that way, an ambulance had come to rescue my housemate, Joe, who was in diabetic shock. When I heard the helicopters, I put on my coat and headed out the front door. A dark column of smoke rose from behind my house, and I started running, hoping the propane tank in my car (fuel for my Wicker Man fire sculpture!) hadn't exploded. Instead, I saw, through the trees, my neighbor's house, engulfed in flames. The Washington Post is quick with the news: "The blaze... is believed to have started at the rear of the house and 'probably burned undetected for quite a while' before being discovered about 7:40 a.m., fire department spokesman Pete Piringer said." They weren't friendly neighbors, but they all made it out ok, thank goodness - an Asian couple and their baby. They moved in about a year ago, promptly built a tall privacy fence along the property line and began filing complaints about us weirdos in the group house and the "community center" we appeared to be running, given the number of cars parked in our driveway and such. My landlord sent them flowers and an apology when red-faced Mr. neighbor met us for the first time on our doorstep, furious that our escaped horse had pooped in his yard. Eventually, a county inspector showed up and my landlady banned me from hosting any more fire spinning practices, dance rehearsals, meetings, workshops, video shoots, parties or other arts endeavors on our 10-acre estate, surrounded by forest. As I mingled with my neighbors in our various states of undress - the first time I'd seen most of them since our horses got loose last fall - I was relieved for the abundant spring rain, for which I'd cancelled fire conclave practice last Sunday - the first one I would've held in a year - and for once, I feel glad that I haven't been able to host any pyro events lately... although I got a secret laugh at the idea of bringing out my fire hoop....

Fire Drums, Chocolate, Redwoods and Banana Slugs - I Love Nor Cal!

Mer — Wed, 07 May 2008 15:39:01 GMT

What a week of powerful exploration I just had! Within the span of 10 days, I went from tantric transformation to discovering San Francisco to fire dancing the nights away in the Santa Cruz mountains, where I communed with passionate pyros from all over the world. Oh, I have fallen in love with life again. I am ignited! I'm also totally infatuated with the Bay area. It was in the full bloom of spring in every way, and is beautiful and exciting beyond what I'd even imagined - the city, the semi-arid, hilly Pacific landscape, with it's strange (to my eyes) succulents, enormous trees and views of the ocean, and the vibrant, colorful people. (Dragonfly, you are right on that the men there are *hot*! They walk with their heads up and a sparkle in their eyes - that felt like it was just for me! - to match their sexy, freaky style.) I am *so* moving there, and can't wait to go back! My thoughtful, dear friend, Surprise!, rocks! She introduced me to many wonderful people and places in her Nor Cal homeland. It was really nice just spending quality time with her and having fun together, as our busy schedules in DC had kept us from catching up for a few weeks. We met up with Tim, a red rattlesnake cowboy I'd danced with on a platform above the Opulent Temple at Burning Man last summer, where we praised the stars and greeted the sunrise in absolute bliss. Tim gave us a tour of his chocolate factory, where he lovingly makes some of the most delicious chocolate I've ever experienced - TCHO - where technology meets chocolate - it's traditional German oompa loompa machinery all technically revamped. The tour was accentuated by photos of ripe cacao hanging from tropical trees, Tim's expert descriptions of the intricate chemistry of chocolate making, and our fantasies of magnificent parties, spin jams and massive scale art construction in the vacuous warehouse world of Pier 17. Fire Drums was enchanting! On Friday morning, Surprise! and I drove high up into the redwood forested mountains for a weekend of fire spinning workshops and dance with 400 fellow fire arts enthusiasts, who generously shared their friendly, positive energy and lust for fiery movement and dance. The cold mountain nights led to misty dawns, and I marveled at the 6-inch long, yellow banana slugs and unique “Ribbit, ribbit” calls of the Pacific tree frogs. Surprise! and I – and everyone who tried em' - adored our new, light weight, well-made Kaivalya fire hoops. I burned mine for the first time at Fire Drums. Either fire hooping is easier than it looks, or I've done my share of practicing, as what a thrill it is to fly inside that halo of light! I was also captivated by the dramatic fire tool inventions a few folks brought out – some propane fueled! (Sean Stiltdancer would’ve fit right in.) There were fire wings, fire samba costumes, and some tools that involved dozens of wicks, rolling on spokes or swinging on wires through the air. Wow! In the whirl of activity, there wasn’t much time for catching up, but it was great to see familiar friends out there – including Rovo, Conway, Zan and Basil – as well as connect with new friends, like Victorio, the beautiful kindred spirit in this photo. When the late night cold sapped my usual hyper-activity, our stimulating, spiritual conversations warmed my heart and mind. The only bummer (besides returning to DC) was missing the How Weird street festival in San Francisco because Surprise! and I spent 2 1/2 hours searching for someone we'd offered a ride. Ah, well, next time – and there will be a next time, as I *am* moving to the Bay area before the end of the year! As soon as I find a job in CA, I’m there.

3 Days of Ecstasy

Mer — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:59:22 GMT

What a powerful, healing enlightenment experience I just had! I spent the last 3 days meditating; throwing wild, screaming tantrums; dancing like the ocean; being worshipped by 10 men, who kissed my feet and belly; feeding others and being fed; holding people as they laughed, and again as they cried; turning into a lion and then into an eagle; sharing cobra breath with another scintillating soul in his temple – our chakras aligned; and helping others discover their way to the ecstasy of self-fulfillment. It was intense – and fun! I feel physically exhausted, but spiritually rejuvenated. I returned from the tantra retreat called, Ecstasy, last night, my mind full of intriguing new information to process – just like waking up after a strange dream, or coming home from Burning Man – and I’m still trying to figure it all out – everything I learned, the processes I went through, and how I’ve transformed. Through shamanic and tantric techniques along with caring, spiritual people, this course did more toward healing and empowering me than years of therapy ever could! It sharpened my understanding of humanity as well as of many aspects of myself. I want to share more, but this is all I have time to write now as I prepare for my first ever arrival in San Francisco and the adventure of Fire Drums. Come back to this blog in a week or so for details about the freaky tantric stuff I did in the woods last weekend. ;>) Namaste!

Down South with Dad

Mer — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:29:43 GMT

Happy Earth Day, earthlings! What a gorgeous spring day it is here, in the southern Maryland part of the planet. The radiant sunshine, grass lush with dandelions, and blossoms *everywhere* couldn't be more delightful. I went for a run along the Potomac River, covering my favorite 2.5 mile stretch twice, going and returning. Every step of the way, I marveled at how alive, diverse and miraculous this world is. Mother Nature is the divine artist! The immaculate wildflowers of every shade and color, the tree frogs, with their patterned skin and orange legs reaching to round, sticky toes, calling exuberantly into the evening - it is all overwhelmingly amazing! A cluster of tiny goslings swam close between their parents in the canal; a young muskrat maneuvered busily through vegetation along the bank; boughs of rich lavender blossoms arched over tender new leaves lining gray branches - and the rain swelled river rushed past it all. I felt blessed to behold these treasures of spring. My dad and I celebrated Earth Day this past weekend by boating around the Gulf coast of Florida and up the scenic, wild rivers of the Tennasaw Delta in Alabama. It was wonderful! If you'd like a glimpse of what we saw, go to: http://www.kodakgallery.com/merstortugapics Then get outside and hug a tree!

Highway Threatens Creek Filled with Life

Mer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:26:12 GMT

Yesterday, The Baltimore Sun published an important article on the impending development of the Mattawoman Creek watershed in Charles County, MD. I went hiking through the woods in that area of southern Maryland a few years ago with an ecologist friend who grew up nearby. We saw bald eagles and scores of turtles basking in the afternoon sun. It was beautiful, remote, peaceful and wild. Biologist, Alexandra Siess, brought the sad development news to my attention in an email. She wrote, “What strikes me is that the state has been buying up land to make a protective buffer along (the Mattawoman) stream corridor for decades, but for 8,000 homes, the county is apparently not concerned about the expected 50% increase in polluted runoff this project will dump into the watershed. That will kill the most sensitive stages of the creatures that live within and alongside Mattawoman Creek, including young fish & eggs, amphibians, beneficial insects, etc. (and so go the effects on up the food chain). And having that type of polluted input that high up in a stream corridor will pull the rug out from under the downstream section of the ecosystem, too, even the adjacent Potomac (River) into which the Mattawoman drains.” Folks, this environmental destruction is hurting us all – wildlife and humans alike. We’ve got to do something to conserve our natural resources. See excerpts below, or for the full article, go to: Highway threatens creek filled with life: Connector could foul Mattawoman in Southern Maryland http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-te.md.mattawoman07apr07,0,3072403.story The Southern Maryland stream (Mattawoman Creek) is one of the most fertile fish breeding grounds in the Chesapeake Bay region. But state and federal officials warn that it could be destroyed if Charles County carries out its plan to build a four-lane highway across the creek to help serve at least 8,000 new homes planned in the area. The Maryland Department of Natural Resources has called Mattawoman Creek "the best, most productive tributary in the bay." More than 50 species of fish breed in the stream's 20 miles of shady wanderings, including yellow perch and largemouth bass. The stream valley also boasts the richest variety of reptiles (and amphibians) of any place surveyed in the state, with 18 species, including marbled salamanders and southern leopard frogs, according to a department report. The $60 million road project and the houses are likely to increase runoff pollution in the creek by 50 percent, killing fish in an important Potomac River tributary, according to state and federal officials. "There would be dire consequences on the quality of life in the stream," said Paul Wettlaufer, a manager with the Baltimore branch of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. But the county's commissioners are determined to proceed. They say the east-west connector has been planned for more than a decade and would help prevent traffic congestion as exurbia inevitably marches south from Washington. …When the growth goals of local governments clash with state conservation efforts, the system is designed to give more power to the local governments. To some current and former state officials, the case highlights weaknesses in state laws designed to control suburban sprawl and protect the Chesapeake Bay. Since the 1970s, the state has been trying to protect large chunks of northern Charles County. The Mattawoman Creek watershed is about 70 percent forested, which helps to protect the stream from runoff pollution. From 1975 to 1997, the state purchased 2,509 acres lining the stream to prevent development and protect wildlife. In 1998, the state under Gov. Parris N. Glendening spent $25 million to buy another 2,225 acres of forested land in the middle of the county's growth district and stop a 4,600-home subdivision called Chapman's Landing. County officials opposed the preservation of this land, which is north of Mattawoman Creek. Glendening says continued development in the area is an example of a weakness in his 1997 "Smart Growth" law, as well other state efforts to control sprawl. Ken Hastings, a coordinator with the Coastal Conservation Association, … said he worries that oil, gas, dirt, fertilizer and hot water gushing off the highway and new subdivisions will transform this river of life into a sterile ditch. "The fish will just disappear," he said. (Tom Pelton, The Baltimore Sun, April 7, 2008)

Toads In the Road!

Mer — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:44:49 GMT

Yesterday was warm and rainy - perfect for toads' night out! I heard their peaceful trills among the chimes of the spring peepers in the woods near my house, and was late for dance class, stopping to rescue them in the roads. It's an extremely difficult process metamorphosizing into a toad, and living beneath things, in the mud, near the bottom of the food chain - so please don't run over the li'l buggers. Plus, they are so cute.

FIRE DRUMS on the Horizon

Mer — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:28:30 GMT

This is it - my first step westward! I bought my ticket to Fire Drums and will be visiting the San Francisco bay area for the first time, April 30 - May 4. I'll be hanging out with Surprise, in her home territory, and hopefully attending a couple of job interviews and meeting up with CA friends. It seems that my reasons for staying on the east coast have been disappearing, one by one, but the path to opportunity has been wide open, heading West. The universe is speaking loud and clear; it's time to gallop into the sunset in pursuit of my "happily ever after." YeeHaw! (Photo by Elvis - That's me in the stars n' stripes bandana, at Transformus 2007.)

The Mother Flower

Mer — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:57:32 GMT

Last weekend, I performed a bellydance veil solo in a show called, The Mother Flower, at the DC Arts Center. The Mother Flower involved over 20 women sharing their thoughts, perspectives and experiences about female identity, womanhood, sexuality, self-awareness and liberation through their original works of video, storytelling, music, comedy, poetry, art and dance. The performances were very powerful – and very personal - as the women shared their reflections on everything from motherhood to abortion, sensual rapture to rape, relationships, self-expression, etiquette, self-empowerment and the realities of womanhood in different times and generations. I was really moved by the talent, depth, creativity, humor, courage and wisdom these women displayed through their pieces, and by how important it is that these stories of our universal experiences be told, and our female perspectives be known. The fabulous Melissa Krodman directed the show, and inspired us in preparing our performances through a collaborative process during several workshops, in which we discussed and gave feedback on one another's work – and enjoyed profound dialogues about issues we uniquely face as women. Several of my DC friends – Belladonna, Katie, Christie, Val and Talia – were in the show, and we’re all excited about the new connections we made. Katie gave vividly descriptive, *hilarious* monologues about oral sex, menstruation and hair waxing; Miss Joule and Li’l Dutch performed a fantastic strip poker burlesque act; Val told the painful stories of the lives of abuse suffered by three of her social work clients; Melissa dramatically described her sexual self-discovery through an energetic spoken word/drumming piece; Joyce talked about her coming of age in the 1950’s; and the rock band, Blue Black Betty, blew us away with their subversive, raucous awesomeness. I’m hoping this project will spark up further creative endeavors exploring these topics, and Patty, of District Playground, aims to organize another workshop soon. Let’s keep the feminist fires bright! We still have a lot of distance to cover on the road to enlightenment and gender equality. For glimpses behind the scenes, check out my photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/22705890@N06/sets/72157604094549062/detail/ (photo by Carlo Pizzaro)

Spring is here!

Mer — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 21:52:48 GMT

During the warm rain a few nights ago, the spring peepers started singing in the woods behind my house. Ah, what a sweet celebratory sound! (These are leopard frogs, BTW.)

Rejoice! You're a mammal!

Mer — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:06:41 GMT

Happy Valentine's Day, critters! ;>D Those celebrating with mates today may rejoice in having pleasure inducing reproductive systems and brains that can embrace the miracle of love - unlike these cute little amphibians, who simply spew their cells into water. Those without mates can love the fact that spring is on the way, and our world will soon be bursting with the song of spring peepers and new life. I rescued this toady pair from creating new life in our swimming pool a few springs ago. They now live happily by Lake Potomac with their numerous progeny.

The Inward Eye

Mer — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 02:23:11 GMT

#9) The Epiphany! A while ago, I entered into somewhat of a downward spiral. I felt that my life didn’t have enough meaning – that I wasn’t living for something worthwhile beyond my own self-development – and I became pretty discontent, pondering my unmet needs and unfulfilled dreams. I was disappointed with my job, and didn’t feel like I was making an impact on anything that really mattered. I had to have surgery, I was pining over a distant lover, and some of the people I cared about let me down. It seemed like just about everything sucked, and then things got worse. That’s when I had the epiphany! I was driving through the mountains during a spectacular sunset, feeling awful, when a ray of light interrupted my gloom. I can’t remember if she called me or if I called her – but that’s not important – what matters is that after telling my dear superhero sun sister – wise goddess of love and healing! - all about my tragic heartache, I was stricken by the chilling acknowledgement that I was wasting my life away in despair. So I made the powerful, life-changing decision to *be happy!* And, I *am.* ... Stay tuned for what's next - #10 The Enlightenment! ...

Happy Ho ho!!!!

Mer — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:56:46 GMT

Wishing you all tremendous bliss throughout the holidays! May 2008 be the best year yet! Much love to you, everyone! And many heartfelt thanks for all of the sincere positive energy you've given me! I treasure your love and friendship. xoxoxoxoxox, Mer 'The Ghost of Xmas Presents'

A Reality Sandwich

Mer — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 19:58:24 GMT

I'd like to share an article with you (brought to my attention by Ember) that I believe addresses a very important issue - that of our disconnection with nature, and in essence, with our humanity. As we sadly watch the bulldozers begin destroying the valuable riparian forest ecosystem to make way for the Intercounty Connector (ICC) highway in Montgomery County, Maryland, I feel it is critical to realize what damage we are actually doing to ourselves. I agree with the message in this article - that our total emersion within a concrete, technological existence and lack of contact with the natural universe has diverted us from accessing much of our own soulful wisdom, inner peace and self-healing - preventing us from achieving Zen and a greater understanding of our humble, yet beautiful, place within the larger picture of 'what is.' The article, "Ecoshamanism: A Talk with James Endredy," by William McGillis is at: http://realitysandwich.com/node/785 Or, for a shorter summary, I extracted these 4 paragraphs: "It is Endredy’s belief that much of our modern depression, confusion, and violence comes from our lack of intimate connection with the multidimensional web of life that surrounds and sustains us, what Mayan shaman Martin Prechtel calls our “indigenous soul.” Prechtel explains, “Like all indigenous people today, the indigenous soul of the modern person has either been banished to some far reaches of the dream world or is under direct attack by the modern mind.” Endredy celebrates this indigenous soul, and believes that, consciously or unconsciously, all people crave “direct communication with the living intelligence of the natural world.” For Endredy, ecological awareness and sustainable lifestyle choices are nothing less than religious issues. He believes that spiritual energies suffuse the natural world, and sees the natural world as the ultimate guru, providing a profound, exhilarating curriculum “not dependent on human concerns or concepts.” Endredy suggests that people desperately need simple, basic encounters with the natural environment in which they live and usually take for granted, not more technology, fanatical ideology, or exotic encounters with other cultures. He guides people to galvanize their deadened perceptions and sensations and recognize the wild yet humanizing energies that exist all around them, especially in their own neighborhoods and local landscapes. Endredy teaches a series of exercises he calls counterpractices, which are intended to break the spell of the techno-consumer dream of control and denial, and open awareness to something more subtle and deep than the usual thought patterns coursing through the anxious, grasping mind. Counterpractices are not quick, overnight fixes for our personal or collective woes, but small steps consciously taken to disrupt the relentless cultural pressures to distract ourselves, consume more things, and construct an ever-more solid and aggressive ego identity. Counterpractices are the foil of high-speed, image-focused, consumer culture. They ask us to make meaningful sacrifices: to shed layers of possessions and beliefs we don’t truly need so we can feel our ineluctable connection with the infinite, mycelial network of life. At times, with enough practice, we may be lucky enough to feel the universe as a vibrating, conscious whole, recognize (re-cognize) our mind stream as a thread in a larger, universal fabric, and sense our identity with the mystical flesh body of Gaia. One simple counterpractice involves sitting quietly and still in a tree ten feet off the ground for hours at a time. This ritual gives people the chance to gain first-hand knowledge about the life of a forest and regain a vibrant perception of depth lost from spending too much time looking at screens or through a windshield. Sitting in a tree may seem boring when compared to the razzmatazz of television, computers, ipods, and the glossy temptations of the urban landscape. But sitting in a tree, even for a few minutes, can lead to a profound sense of connection with something real and a remarkable insight into one’s own psyche (which interpenetrates deeply with the psyche of the earth). It takes humility to try to connect with a tree, but troubled times demand radical solutions in which we go to the primal roots of our perception and knowledge. The radical essence of all Endredy’s counterpractices is to break our usual modes of awareness in which we think ceaselessly and feel ourselves to be separate from everyone and everything else.... The modern world is in the grips of some kind of mass hypnosis or madness – what Endredy calls the techno-consumer wasteland – imprisoned in the human-centered realm and drowning in the hungry ghost fantasy of endless growth. Technology and consumer capitalism have brought us many gifts, but have also brought the curse of disconnection from our true nature. This deep, dehumanizing wound – simultaneously psychological and physical – is much larger than the problems of climate change or polluted lakes. This collective trauma comes from the loss of wilderness, countless species, and open spaces in the city as well as the loss of vital soul connection with the wide world and of what has been most primary and instinctual in our feeling and imagination for the last hundred thousand years. The root of this ecological trauma and crisis isn’t just ignorant human behavior, but also the skewed Cartesian conception that matter and the natural world are dead and without spiritual importance, and that soul is only found within humans and not out in the world. Western science, religion, and philosophy have long derided tribal, animistic ways of knowing as primitive, inferior, and superstitious. This arrogant, anthropocentric worldview of the modern world has led to the loss of vital, primordial forms of knowledge and awareness that we desperately need to reawaken if we are to survive the next century with our souls and planet intact." I'd love to hear your thoughts about this issue.

The face of God

Mer — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:58:01 GMT

I dream big and I strive to live every day fully in pursuit of my dreams – to experience the absolute most I can in life. I like to think of my life as a story, and as the writer of that story, I must keep it continually engaging, relevant and meaningful (to myself!). So I try to fill my life with thematic chapters full of enlightenment, challenge and resolution – events that keep me constantly growing toward becoming my wiser, deeper, higher self. On that note, here are #’s 7 and 8 of the “ten weird, random facts, habits or goals” about me. 7) Throughout much of my 20’s, I’d work for 9-10 months, then quit my job and head out on a fantasy adventure, only returning to home base when I was completely broke. During one of my adventures, I spent a summer living with my poet friend, Kenny, in Tucson, AZ. Together we hiked all over the wild Sonora Desert and beyond – climbing mountains, encountering rattlesnakes, descending into gorgeous canyons and watching meteorites flash through the clear sky. I drove my little red car down into Mexico with an old super 8 film camera, crossing the Sierra Madre and heading for the Barranca del Cobre – the vast and remote Copper Canyon, home of the Tarahumara indigenous people. I never developed the film of the strange and fascinating scenes I captured. Another year, I went to assist an underground human rights network in Guatemala. About a week after I arrived, my appendix burst in an indigenous town in the mountains. The surgeons in the small hospital did an excellent job of saving my life, despite their shortage of supplies and resources. The anesthesia ran out half-way through the surgery and I woke up! Ouch. I spent 6 weeks recovering from the surgery, the peritonitis infection, and the onslaught of ravenous ameobas. The doctors said I had a 50% chance of survival, but I bounced back with remarkable speed and vitality (thanks to my healthy habits and vegetarian diet!). Before I was fully healed, I met a photographer, who hired me to be her assistant, and we took off to travel all over Central America for 6 months, working on two projects for National Graphic and covering the relief efforts after category 5 hurricane, Mitch, devastated Honduras and Nicaraugua. It was an amazing, eye-opening experience, during which I glimpsed the face of God, reflected in the diverse environments and drastic range of humanity and human conditions I witnessed. 8) My passion for human rights and social justice compelled me to pursue a career in international development. I interviewed for the Peace Corps, but ended up enrolling in a PC-sponsored Public Administration - International Development Masters degree program, instead, hoping it would lead me to stronger opportunities to effect public policy, lead non-profit organizations and make a positive impact where it was needed most. I worked as a community organizer in the ghetto of Camden, NJ, then spent several years organizing and directing projects for small non-profit organizations throughout Ecuador – from the balmy tropical coast, to the Amazon, to the snow crowned Andes Mountains. Eventually, poverty and the need to pay my student loans forced me to return to the US. I moved to Washington, DC four years ago, seeking a job with a large non-governmental organization that could send me back into the field of Latin America. Instead, I spent a year-and-a-half miserably consulting for the World Bank. Now, I am a planning specialist for county government, and miss being out on the front lines where I felt I could directly help make a difference. I’m pondering how to make a career shift back toward doing something that feels more inspiring and meaningful – such as promoting environmental conservation. I'm feeling drawn to the west coast, and think my path to personal evolution heads that way. I hope to find a job and move to San Francisco within the next year. (photo by Tommy Huynh)

Weird Fact #6 - The year I lived like Henry David Thoreau in Walden

Mer — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:55:41 GMT

Ok, here's weird-fact-about-me #6. 7-10 are coming soon. I felt I was being a bit too mysterious for my own good, so I added some precarious personal information - (but not too much! There's still room to wonder....) - to facts 1-5 of my previous blog entry. 6) I'm a freak of nature - I mean, a nature freak! I've always held a profound, passionate, spiritual love for the natural world, and am a bit of an amateur biologist. I grew up with a nerdy zoologist dad, who loved to take me fishing, and a library of brightly illustrated books descibing the details of ecology and the taxonomy of species - especially regarding reptiles and amphibians, my specialty! Before I moved to the Washington, DC area, I gave myself a year to experience one of my greatest fantasies. I lived on and managed a small horse farm - out at the end of a long dirt road in a gorgeous, idyllic, rural area in North Carolina - surrounded by forests, ponds and lush hayfields. I converted into a wild woman, walking through the woods in the middle of the night with my little pack of farm dogs and waking up before sunrise to do barn chores (Normally, it's a struggle for me to get up before 9:30, so I must've been pretty enthusiastic!). During the ice storms that winter, I heated my tiny house with a wood-burning stove. It was heaven! I now live on 10 acres of land in southern Maryland - just a 30 minute drive from the heart of Washington, DC. The house I live in is surrounded by a forest, Lake Potomac, and literally enveloped by a large creek - right across from the Potomac River. Almost every day I get out for my run along the scenic, undeveloped stretch of river and restore my "Zen." It's practically a religious ritual. (photo by Maryanne Yerkes)

Weird Facts #1-5 - Happy Day of the Dead

Mer — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:28:12 GMT

Lovely Caroleeena, from my home state of NC, has requested that I write a blog addressing ten weird, random facts, habits or goals about myself. I had no trouble coming up with things to say about my weirdness. Here are the first 5 that popped into my head: 1) I have a life long obsession with turtles, toads and horses, and my fascination with each of these animals has become central to my life at some point or another. I’m an active member of the Mid-Atlantic Turtle and Tortoise Society and participate in efforts to conserve native species and their habitats. I have 7 turtles and 1 tortoise in my room. They are my PRECIOUS! A diamondback terrapin, named Pierre, lives in my bathtub. 2) Last night, I dreamed about a young man affectionately carrying around his pet rattlesnake, maneuvering it enthusiastically in all kinds of loving, but potentially dangerous ways without its getting upset or striking out. The snake was calm when I stroked it, but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of wielding it as recklessly as its owner, although I realized that the man’s confidence and belief in the docility of the snake made his precarious stunts possible. I think this scenario represents my perspective on sex, fire spinning and the weight of my own reserve and (sometimes) burdensome sensibility. 3) I am an unusually intense person. I react profoundly to the things I think about and that happen around me. I live for the moments (like dancing all night at Burning Man!) when I can let go and experience the transcendental release of ecstatic joy, but I often experience gloomy melancholy, too, which can turn me into a bit of an introvert at times. Overall, I appreciate that I can regularly let my self feel the full spectrum of human emotion, as it strengthens my ability to empathize with other people, and makes my life richly colorful. But , God, I just wish I weren't so damned depressed half of the time. Fuck. 4) Red is definitely my favorite color. Definitely! 5) I belong to a paranormal research team (based in historic Leesburg, VA). On my last mission, spending the night in the extremely haunted, deserted Moundsville Penitentiary in WV, I was attacked by an angry ghost in a dark basement, which was once a wood shop and site of several gruesome inmate murders. The ghost's surge of electric energy nearly shorted out my voltameter, but I hardly felt a thing. That ghost didn't scare me, really, but the one in my grandmother's house certainly does! Two years ago on my birthday, 3 weeks after our first Burning Man, my last boyfriend, Paul, died suddenly. It sucked like a black hole. While I am objectively skeptical about such things, the mystic in me really feels that Paul and I might have communicated telepathically after his death. It certainly felt like I was receiving poignant, enlightening messages from the beyond! That's what rekindled my fascination with the paranormal, and led me to become a ghost hunter. Feel free to add any weird facts or observations I've left out.

Diamondback Terrapin Update

Mer — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:42:54 GMT

Thanks to all of you who contacted your Maryland representatives last year to advocate for the ban on the commercial harvesting of diamondback terrapins. Here are excerpts from a Baltimore Sun article about the resulting legislation. Maryland's Turtle Finds Safe Waters: A ban on trapping the diamondback terrapin passes after advocates stick their necks out By Tom Pelton, Baltimore Sun (April 11, 2007) In winning General Assembly approval of legislation to outlaw the trapping of diamondback terrapins, conservationists waged a quirky but highly effective campaign... With just 22 minutes until Monday's midnight end of the 90-day General Assembly session, the Chesapeake Terrapin Alliance finally won its goal: a ban on the commercial trapping of terrapin. The victory came after failure last year and amid continued opposition from watermen. "It was a nail-biter, running down to the very end," said Jack Cover, general curator of the National Aquarium in Baltimore, who helped lead the effort. "I am very elated.... This is a necessary step for the long-term survival of the terrapin." More remains to be done before the diamondback is out of danger, advocates say, including halting the development of beaches that terrapins need for nesting. But now Maryland joins 11 other states, including Delaware and Virginia, that have outlawed catching the slow-reproducing reptile... The species -- with characteristic diamond-shaped bumps on its shell -- is unique for its ability to survive in the mixture of salty and fresh water in the Chesapeake Bay. The turtles play an important role in protecting wetlands by eating periwinkles, marine snails that devour marsh grass... Trappers have taken the reptiles in the Chesapeake for centuries, first as food for Native Americans and slaves, then as a delicacy in upscale restaurants at the end of the 19th century. The diamondbacks were nearly driven to extinction during the Victorian-era craze for terrapin soup but rebounded when local tastes changed. But over the past five years or so, their recovery has been imperiled by a rising market in Asia for Chesapeake turtle soup. Last summer, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources imposed a ban on trapping from November through July, but the measure allowed the trapping of smaller turtles the rest of the year. The rules backfired, and the number of terrapins reported caught last year jumped to more than 10,000 -- a twentyfold rise from the previous year. The state agency joined watermen in opposing the outlawing of terrapin harvesting, and Gov. Martin O'Malley's administration said in February that it planned a moratorium as an alternative to an outright ban. But state Sen. Roy P. Dyson, a Southern Maryland Democrat, and Del. Virginia P. Clagett, a Democrat from Anne Arundel County, joined advocates in pushing for the ban. The proposed trapping ban passed the House of Delegates, 127-10, on March 15, and cleared the Senate the same day, 43-2. But an Eastern Shore terrapin farmer objected, and others also expressed concern about the impact on such aquaculture. Last week, state Sen. Katherine A. Klausmeier, a member of the state's Aquaculture Coordinating Council, succeeded in amending the bill to allow the continued capture of terrapins to supply turtle farms. Debate over the amended measure raged until nearly the end of the session -- when lawmakers agreed to ban the capture of terrapins for any purpose except research, but to let turtle farmers keep breeding terrapins from eggs. The save-the-terp movement was started by Willem M. Roosenburg, a biologist at Ohio University who grew up in Southern Maryland. In the early 1970s, Roosenburg said, he became fascinated with terrapins when he was out fishing on the Patuxent River and saw hundreds of heads peeking up from the glassy waters around his rowboat. He started studying the turtles in 1987, and from 1996 to 2006 documented a 75 percent drop in females in the river. "I have been recommending for years closing the commercial harvest of the species," said Roosenburg, who testified in favor of this year's ban. In the late 1990s, Roosenburg was contacted by a state Department of Natural Resources employee named Marguerite Whilden, who wanted his help in creating a program to teach students about terrapins... (S)he started a nonprofit group that bought thousands of terrapins caught by watermen and released them back into the bay. Last spring, Whilden lobbied for a bill outlawing terrapin trapping. But her homegrown effort failed. This year, the cause was led by bigger and better-funded conservation groups, including the National Aquarium and the Maryland Audubon Society. "It's wonderful that the ban finally passed," Whilden said, lifting a terrapin from a tank in her yard and dangling it close to her face. "This is a crisis with a face. Oysters don't have a face. Crabs don't really. But look at the smile on this terrapin. This is the face of conservation. " Copyright © 2007, The Baltimore Sun (Photo by David M. Barron)

Xylem & Phloem at Playa del Fuego

Mer — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:15:53 GMT

What a wonderful experience I had creating a sculpture at PDF! This piece was truly a work of community art, as many people participated in the process of constructing, decorating, ripping apart and burning the sculpture - as well as helping keep my energy stoked by bringing me food, positive vibes, peppermint mist and encouraging compliments. You folks rock! I received an arts grant from PDF to create this piece, which was a half-scale version of the sculpture I built at Burning Man this year. Funding was tight, and I received enough to cover only about half the cost of production, so several awesome people lent me various components that went into the making of the piece - from Sean's fire sculpture hardware, to Victor's propane tank and electric converter, to Dave transporting the wooden frame to PDF in his truck - all together we made it happen. Oh, and I cannot forget to mention Kenny Blunt's ingenious substitution of aluminum foil when the expensive metallized mylar rant out. A brilliant team, indeed! I'm already scheming up the next art installation project, so stay tuned.... See my photos of PDF at: http://www.kodakgallery.com/merstortugapics/main (photo by Ember)

Breakin' Rule #36

Mer — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:54:26 GMT

Do you know what's wrong with this picture? That's right, Sarah, the ruthless renegade, is breaking the law. No, not the law of gravity! Apparently, according to a US Park Police officer, she is breaking Rule #36, which prohibits singing, praying, jumping rope, wearing loud colors, strange hats and/or anything else that brings attention to oneself in the presence of a memorial building - because bringing attention to oneself is considered a performance, for which a permit is required. So, the next time you pay homage to one of our memorialized dead presidents, unless you have a permit, you forfeit your rights to freedom of assembly and speech. Yeay, Constitution! I'm feeling more patriotic than ever, aren't you?!

It's my party and I'll dress weird if I want to

Mer — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:33:26 GMT

Hey, there are nifty good times to be had in DC this weekend (believe it or not) and I plan to enjoy them to the fullest in celebration of my birthday (which is actually next Tuesday)! If any of you would like to join me, come on out to the following neato events: Friday, Sept. 21 - Bassnectar at the 930 Club and Moby/Sander Van Doorn at Fur (a club which rudely enforces a dress code, but promises to be hospitable during this event) http://www.buzzlife.com/ http://blog.washingtonpost.com/goingoutgurus/2007/09/buzz_is_back.html But most excitingly, I'm gonna put some wear on my personally designed pinkyfur Jupitercat outfit, pictured above. I hope it brings me intense Opulent Temple flashbacks. Saturday, Sept. 22 - The Capitol City Carnival We're gonna dance, play and spin our toys (hoops, poi, staves, etc.) as we enjoy the concerts, performances and djs. I'm especially excited about seeing George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic that night at 8:00. Wow! Here's the schedule: http://www.capitolcitycarnival.com/2007/info.php?menu_id=1&submenu_id=5&page_id=40 ;>) Oh, and I plan to dress as weirdly as possible -'cause it's my BIRTHDAY!!! (that's an inside joke for Sarah), so feel free to come freakified. Hee hee.

The Alien Metallic Shiny Thing We Made

Mer — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:05:51 GMT

Wow, a friend found this awesome photo (by Ryan Hayes) of my Burning Man sculpture! Joel and I are very curious as to how other people perceived, interacted with and photographed our art on the playa. We have evidence that folks crawled inside the sculpture's open crevice and hung out within its wooden frame. If we'd had more time and energy, we would have made a cozy hiding place in there, hanging lights inside and gray fabric across the opening.

Ravaged by Wind, Blessed by Rainbows

Mer — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 00:13:03 GMT

Hey, friends, My sculpture partner, Joel, and I returned from dusty Nevada in the wee hours of Thursday morning, and already I can't wait to get back "home" to Black Rock City in 2008. Our two intense weeks in the desert made for a transformative and wonderful experience that I will always remember. I'm so glad that many of you were there to share it with me, as your presence was a big part of what made it all so profoundly special. Building our sculpture, "Xylem and Phloem," was challenging, strenuous, exciting, and very rewarding, and we learned a lot in the process. (We also built character, let's just say.) Joel, Lars, Kenny Blunt and I arrived on the playa late Thursday night, after a grueling 3-day shopping frenzy in Reno. When we passed the 4 1/2-hour supplies-hunt-in-Home-Depot test, I knew we were golden. We made use of every square inch of transport space in our faithful "Fudget" rental truck. Upon arriving on the playa, we went straight to Mustang's workshop camp, and got to sculpting. After four days of sawing, nailing and screwing, stapling chicken wire and wrapping landscaping fabric, then metalized mylar, we had accomplished a suitable piece of art work. In between all of that construction, we enjoyed wearing our goggles and dust masks, dining on cliff bars and Indian food-in-a-bag, arguing over use of the truck, bonding over wood glue, solving physics problems, getting stoned and spending an entire night setting up Kenny's complicated, playa unworthy wedding gazebo (convinced it would serve as a shade shelter), which the wind nearly carried away or tore apart. When I wasn't worrying about our production schedule, I was quite amused, stimulated, and having a pretty good time! I told Joel I thought I could see myself on one of the 3-week work crews, building large-scale playa art. Finally, after a tough, non-stop 24-hour sculpting marathon, at dawn on Tuesday, Mustang, Joel and I decided that we had completed 'phase one' of the project. It felt terrific watching the sun rise over our enormous, silver creation, which Joel described as "entirely organic, except for its alien, metallic shininess." See the above photo of me at that instant, with triumphantly raised boxcutter. We never quite finished the sculpture - which would have involved putting the final touches on the fire sculpture so that it's flames would stay lit in the wind, or adding the directionally flowing strings of colored lights, which would have traced the contours of the sculpture's form, connoting the cycle of matter into energy and life, and given the sculpture the capillary action described in its name. Wind storms, rain, double rainbows, broken and missing tools, old friends, exhaustion and the call of nights on the playa kept us well occupied for the remainder of the week, and we needed to escape into the Burning Man experience more than anything else. But burning the sculpture at 3 am on Monday morning was a blast (literally - as my stubby eyelashes recall), and soon after dawn, we celebrated our accomplishment around Xylem & Phloem's smoldering remains - just as planned. Joel and I are grateful to have had the dedicated participation of many helping hands in bringing our art piece to life out in the desert. In particular, we couldn't have succeeded without Mustang, who gave excellent advice and worked hard, full days alongside us through the dust and heat, a total lunar eclipse, the premature burning of the man and the onset of the world's wildest party. More soon.... (photo by Joel Traylor)