We received an IM a several months ago from a middle aged woman asking us for some insight to her feelings which she has had since she was young. She ( we will call her Dorris) explained that as a young woman of 16, she had allowed a boyfriend to handcuff her hand behind her back which at that time gave her a strange thrill. She explained that her boyfriend was 17, in high school with her, and his father was a county Police Officer. She said that she had had sex before, and was more than willing to engage in sex with him at that time, but had never been restrained before. The boy ( we will call him Rodger) convinced her to allow her hands to be cuffed overhead and roped to his bed while his parents where out. Dorris, explained that the feelings she had while tied and engaged in coitus, were some of the best sex she had ever experienced, even into adulthood. Dorris said that while restrained, Rodger bit her nipples hard, and fucked her like an animal! She said even though she had never felt so used, she was very aroused by his actions, and had multiple orgasms once she was able to come.

Dorris explained that having later married somebody else - she was afraid to talk about her bondage experience with her husband. After raising her family (two lovely daughters) her marriage seemed to break up. Her husband of twenty years was having difficulty with E.D. and she often had fantasies about being raped, or forced to engage in sex. Having mustard the courage to speak to her husband about her experience with Rodger in school, he refused to deal with her, and later their sexual problems lead to infidelity and divorce.

Dorris yearned to regain that felling of helplessness and began to seek "Kinky" partners. With the onset of the Internet, she learned to ask questions and pursue her education into the World of D/S. Dorris was abused by a guy who claimed to be a DOM, but bruised her badly during his play. She then reverted back into only what her fantasy and vibrators would bring to her.

When we first spoke to Dorris, we were appalled by seemingly the same scenarios we have often encountered - a woman searching for herself - only to become a victim to sexual abuse at the hands of an inexperienced ASS! Dorris, and we chatted for weeks about her life, love, and experiences. During our conversations we began to understand how this wonderful and shapely middle aged woman became so bitter, and scared.
We assisted Dorris in finding a partner who cares about her life as a woman and a submissive. We explained to Dorris the needed safety precautions she must take before any meeting, as well as other important factors about her coming out as a slave. It is too bad that here we have a woman in her mid forties - who had hidden her real feelings throughout the years, while suffering is silence! We are happy to have helped her learn about herself, her life, and her sexual needs, and welcome her to our list of friends!

It seems to us that the people of our community who practice Gorean principal are declining . We have provided advice to the community for years while questions about GOR have dwindled. As many lifestyles are blossoming into the open, some will bring about more discussion than others. For us it has not been as much about GOR, but about the difference between slave and submissives!

Years ago, when we first evolved into the Dominant lifestyle we lead, we heard of only one connotation for a person who desired submission and that was - SLAVE!

As we recollect it was about the 1980s when political correctiveness exploded in this country. It was then when we first began to hear of a limited degree of slavery being expressed by D/S practitioners as "submissives". To us old Masters there was always a varied degree of submissive behavior associated with those whom we called slaves. Slaves it seems were trained to perform tasks which pleased their owners! The depth of their submission was agreed upon, and these limits were never crossed for fear of losing ones "slave" due to callus. Slaves were harder to come by in those days because slavery was much less publicly accepted behavior than it is today.

Today, many have openly expressed their once hidden lifestyles and the fine line between a slave and a submissive has become broadened. Many women we deal with today claim to be a submissive only because they have been taught that slaves have no power, no say, and no control of their daily life or destiny. When we come upon these challenged minds, polluted by our social influences and politically correct attitudes - we strive to explain!

Submissive behavior has always been tiered in degrees. A slave/submissives sets the rules which we Dom's/Masters, Mistresses and Domme's generally follow! These are the facts of life! Any dominant person who breaks these rules will not have their subbie/slaves for long, and may become guilty of illegal acts of restraint or sexual torture if not followed!

A prime example I like to use is; If you are the Dom/Domme, and your slave/subbie tells you that SCAT is a hard limit - what will you do? Do you oblige her, or crap in her face? If you chose the latter - that will be that last time you see her and may face criminal liabilities later.
It does not matter if she claimed to be a submissive or a slave at that point, she will be just as GONE. Limits!

So after much study, talk, and advice we have conclude that the line between a slave and submissive is directly dependent upon that persons emotional consensus of what it means to be either! TRUE SLAVERY is dead in modern times! The day when a person could be yanked off of the street and thrown into a dungeon are long gone! The only exception being some psychologically ill people who imprison others in home built torture chambers! The bottom line is a slave and a subbie are the same person with different perceived limits.

Some come to us for pain, others for pleasure. We being a Sadist - enjoy most forms of slaves or submissives alike, my limit is that I deal with women only! We don't do scat, blood, cuttings or associate with children! What exactly should a sadist who has limits themselves be called, staying politically direct of course? Just as with slaves there exists a degree of Sadism associated with those Dom's/Masters, Mistresses and Domme's! Where do we stand? Is there a word to describe our limits? Not that I have ever come upon. Perhaps those of you with more experience or education can expound upon this dilemma?

Which brings up another point - Master/Dom/Mistress/ Domm'e - what are you and why?

I have invited my friends to join this tribe. All of you who wish to share your personal feeling with this group are welcome to do so. As a Dom/Master I wish to express my sincere gratitude to anyone of you who is willing to assist me in getting this tribe off the ground. If you feel that it is worth the effort to engage your friends into becoming members, and assisting those who wish to learn from our combined experience, than please ask them to join. Perhaps those of you, who are Dominant, can inject some insight into the psyche of those who are not. To the Submissive women who join I wish to express my gratitude for your views and courage. Your sexuality is important and should not be denied or repressed socially.
Please be genuine and respectful. As the MODERATOR of this site I am willing to BAR anyone found to be disrespectful of any female member of this group.