Over the past six years or so I have consider myself as a solitary witch without really committing to the title. I have been soaring over many spiritual beliefs such as the Kabbalah, Buddhism, flirting with the Orishas and the Yoga Sutras. With each one I have taken what resonates with me and created my own recipe of spirituality. Lately I have been yearning to commit to one belief as a way to create a solid foundation for consistent self-discipline and to feel grounded so that I may have a solid spiritual infrastructure. Last week I had the fortune of attending the Northern California Witch camp within the enchanting Mendocino Woodlands. I was told that this intensive retreat would change my life yet I was taken by surprise of how profound and intimate my transformation effected my soul. Needless to say that I have committed and converted myself as a full pledge Pagan. The difference is now I am committing as oppose to considering. Now that I am a born again Witch (the audience laughs) everything looks different to me. My senses are enhanced and it has become easier to work through my shit. I feel as if I have returned home after a long season of hunting and gathering the goods.

My first challenge was sharing my experience in so many words to my father who is not only a Christian but also a minister. He gracefully responded by saying, “well…you are my daughter and I love you unconditionally….but you’re still going to hell.” His reaction did not surprise me; however, it is important to me that my family knows where I stand spiritually. I have to say that there is a powerful underlying in converting to something one is passionate about. Over the years I chose not to were a pentagram just for the sake of wearing it. It was important that I knew why and understood its meaning. Now that I have established a relationship with the elements and committed to them, I can wear them around my neck knowing where I stand; thus, I feel empowered.

My next step is to find my place within the pagan community which is where this testimony is leading up to. My heart is open and my will is on fire to live and create the reality I deserve. Whoever has chosen to read my testimony in full has now become a witness to my self-initiation. Blessed Be!

“ I can believe in things that are true and I can believe in things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they are true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed- I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at that same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

We have to change the very alchemy of humanity. We have to rearrange the whole inside of man. And the most basic revolution in humanity will come when the heart decides the values. It cannot decide for war, it cannot go for nuclear weapons; it cannot be death oriented. The heart is life's juice. Once the head is in the service of the heart, it has to do what the heart decides. And the head is immensley capable of doing anything, just right guidance is needed; otherwise, it is going to go berserk, it is going to be madd. For the head there are no values. For the head there is no meaning in anything. For the head there is no love, no beauty, no grace--only reasoning.

But this miracle is possible only by disidentifying yourself from both. Watch the thoughts, because in your watching them, they disappear. Then your heart is as innocent as a child and your head is as great a genuis as Albert Einstein and Aristotle.

Osho

A man should say, I am not concerned that I have no place, I am concerned how I may fit myself for one. I am not concerned that I am not known, I seek to be worthy to be known.

Confucius

Om Namah Sivaya Gurave
Satchidananda Murtaye
Nisprapancaya Shantaya
Niralambaya Tejase

I honor the greatness and beauty inside myself and I see the same in all beings.
I recognize that I am the embodiment of consciousness and bliss.
Who is never absent and full of peace.
I am radiant and joyful regardless of external circumstances