Ever have those days when you don't stop at the cross walk because you know the light will turn in your favor?
When waiting for the T, you stare straight ahead as it rolls in, because you know the door will open right in front of you. And not only are you aware of it, but you're aware how cool it is to be aware of it, and then aware that the guy next to you notices that you're aware of it too? ;)
One of those days where ya feel like you control the Matrix?
Yeah, I know you know what I'm talking about.
Those days are nice.
Those days are not everyday, but when they happen, it's so hard to imagine life could be any other way.

I used to think those days were random, but now I believe they flourish out of little decisions we make constantly, perhaps that we are not even aware of....

Earlier this week I got some distressing news, which made me not sleep, which made me cranky and kinda down, which of course, then made me susceptible to the cold going around, which made me even more cranky - now with an annoying cough. Then yesterday as I dragged my sorry ass into my bedroom, pouting that I was home sick on a Saturday night, I stood between my bed and my studio and had a moment. To my left was my big, warm, fluffy velvet bed to dive into, hide from the world, and return to wonderland and drift away into sweet nothingness. To the right, my studio. Black desks, speakers, computers, piles of cables, gear, cds. You know. Not so comfy when you have a cold and are running a fever. But I was so pissed off about being sick (and grumpy about the other stuff from the week) (and new things I was making up to be grumpy about) that I decided against the fucking bed and opted to slam out an hour-long, on-the-fly, progressive DJ set to see how deep the rabbit hole would go. Which I recorded. And which surprising enough, I love - probably because I wasn't thinking about anything while I was making it. No party, no crowd. Just making it with out thinking.

Over the course of that hour, my cold diminished drastically.

Then at midnight I opened a fortune cookie. It said "Today is the day you let it go."

My mind raced over all the things I could possibly "let go" of.
So I started letting go off the most immediate - trivial stuff from that very day.
Then the stuff from the week. Then the stuff from the past month, winter, year...I just let it go.
Everything just was how it was, is how it is, happened how it happened, all how it was supposed to happen even if I couldn't see the whole picture. Lessons were taught and learned. Such is the river.

And then I felt it...I felt it flow through me, flowing from this gloriously beautiful place of simultaneously loving and not giving a damn at the same time. And I thought back to Vizzie's samples from American Beauty at the beginning of our gig last Saturday at Good Life...
"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me...
but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much,
and my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...
...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it,
and then it flowwwwwwsss thrrrrough mmmeee liiiiike rrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn..."
(that's how it sounds on the recording of the show thanks to Ed's mad sample wrangling skillz)

Since that moment,
since that fortune cookie,
I've reaped all the benefits of after you've "let it all go".

Psylab jamming tonight - absolutely fantastic. Everything just....dead on, flowing through, note for note, level for level (thanks Joe!!)
(and again, we recorded it - so glad) Feeling very prepped for this Thursday's show in Burlington VT, and our spring tour
(which Ill go more into more in another post, probably having something to do with Psylab, Karate Kid, Star Wars, and Dirty Dancing) (no I'm not kidding, just wait and see.)

Conversations last night with friends that I had been missing, and will now see soon.

Wishes over the past year I had made, now popping into little truths here and there like the bulbs popping up outside.

Random encounters with aquaintances on the T that had just the piece of info I (or they) were wondering about.

My cold very quickly diminishing into what feels like nothing.

T doors opening right in front of me.

And the light turning in my favor as I cross the street.

I know everyday isn't like today, but I like to write about it when it is, because, I think, everyday can be.
It's important to remember. I need to remember. youtube.com/watch