Today is the one month anniversary that my mom passed away. I woke up feeling sad, lonely and out of place. Just one month ago the person that I had dedicated my life to taking care of ceased to exist. I know that she is in a better place and is free of pain. But at the same time I really miss her. I miss her smile, her laugh and her bravery.

Throughout the day I reflected on who Loretta Chapman was. She was a mother, a friend, a volunteer, an advocate for people with cognitive disabilities, a breast cancer survivor, and a teacher. Loretta taught a knitting class even after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She went to her class faithfully and scheduled her chemotherapy around the class.
My mother was the kindest woman that I knew. She had the ability to only see the good inside of people. Because of who she was I counted it as an honor to be allowed to make sure that her needs (socially, emotionally and financially) were being met (even after her death).

Most of my lessons in life came from my mom. She taught me to be independent, give back to the community, place family first and work second, to believe in the impossible and to do it all with a smile. She brought me up to believe that destiny sometimes has different plans than we have. Now that I think about it she was right. I thought that I was destined to go to law school and become an activist. I took the LSAT's, applied at different law schools in Southern Ca and was accepted into three programs. But I gave up going to Law school to move my mom back to Santa Rosa because she was beginning to feel weak. She wanted to die at home (Santa Rosa where she spent a majority of her life) not in southern Ca. I respect that.

Destiny brought me here to the Bay Area. I found my niche within the community and am working on my Master's degree in Human Sexuality, raising my two teenage sons, working in Social Work as an advocate and met my future husband. All this was possible by not following conventional reasoning but by allowing destiny to find me. Even though I miss my mom and wish she was here, I am glad that I have so many wonderful memories of her.

As time goes on I will continue to think about how much of an impact my mom made in my life. I will always thank her and honor her memory because of the person she was.