joined on 07/16/04
last updated 12/27/06
about me
I love, therefore I am.
Some things I'm especially proud to have been a part of: my beloved bands The Tubes and The Nuns; various screenplays including "Randy, Rudy and Rose" (now in pre-production), "The Contestant" (now in the able hands of the one and only Sedelmaier) and "Howard The Duck" (a script which was head and feathers above the turkey they eventually projected onto the big screen -- or was it ejaculated?); I'm also particularly proud of being writer-producer-director of "The Organist", an official selection at over a dozen international film fests, the inventor of Throx (the first socks to come in threes, so when you lose one you still have a pair -- "The Cure for the Missing Sock"), The Margarita King (the world's best bleeping margarita, and it's in a bottle!) and being the proud pop of the lovely Audrey Heaven (star of Sofia Coppola's "Lick The Star").
The Organist was the official entry at 19 international film fests. Got 8 minutes? Watch it here: www.youtube.com/watch ~ The laughs are on me.
Punks Penelope Houston (The Avengers) and Edwin Heaven (The Nuns) are obviously up to no good.
March 8, 2007
So this has been a long time coming...far too long~~
...Edwin has always been my west coast Woody...
...sharp and clever...flirtatious and fantastic...sharing and sly...
He is my superhero.
This man lives in each moment...whether at a party or cuddling with Harley or hanging with his fabulous daughter...& I love him for that.
...for living his life and jumping in feet first...getting completely wet in the process...and relishing every second of it.
Edwin...thank you for being in my world and making me smile. ;)
XoX!
January 1, 2006
If the stars get in your eyes it's because you're reading Edwin Heaven.
December 2, 2005
A knight like a night by the sea, tender and deep, Edwin makes me believe in heaven, true blue endlessly.
November 30, 2005
Tribe is an odd little neighborhood where you run into friends who frequent the same shops or eateries. Edwin is one I bump into all the time because we have many of the same interests. He is an incredibly talented individual. A man with words of wisdom. A man with great taste. A gentleman & a great pleasure. Like Buster Keaton, a hard act to follow.
~Sal
June 8, 2005
I’ll run around in circles
Til I run out of breath
I’ll eat you all up
Or I’ll just hug you to death!
April 11, 2005
"EDWIN, YOU ARE FUNNY & BRILLIANT the way they all tell Woody in Stardust Memories throughout this movie's fame nauseum theme. I thank you for your friendship and your heart. You will always be my hero, mentor and dearest friend. Xx"
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SOME BUNNY LOVES YOU!
SOME BUNNY LOVES YOU!
SOME BUNNY LOVES YOU!
SOME BUNNY LOVES YOU!
March 13, 2005
Missing Heaven is being in Hell...
I've been here far too long. Where is this gorgeous muse hiding in the concrete forest too far to see?
October 17, 2004
Captain Heaven's got what the girls really crave: Intelligence, Eloquence, Humor, Style, Charm and Confidence--without the big ego!
He should add "Inspiration to Many" to his long list of creative talents!
Edwin Heaven is like Whoa!
September 26, 2004
I LOVE my Throx! :D
August 26, 2004
Heaven is so far of the mind
That were the mind dissolved
The site of it, by Architect
Could not again be proved
'Tis vast, as our capacity
As fair as our idea
To him of adequate desire
No further 'tis, than here.
Woody Allen believes "History is the same thing over and over again."
I agree.
After all, isn't that why we give each World War a number?
THE MARXIST BROTHERS.
The story of Groucho, Harpo and Castro!
HIS & HERNIA.
"You'll laugh so hard you'll bust a gut."
Do house flies and horse flies get along?
What happens when you have a horse fly in the house? Do house flies then horse around?
And would a fly in a whore house be a whore house fly?
(I know. Perhaps I should've tossed the napkin out.)
24,
Bob Dylan,
Book Lovers,
Clara Bow,
Classic Film Comedy,
Curb Your Enthusiasm,
Deadwood,
Foreign Film,
Freaks!,
French Cinema,
italian cinema,
Jacques Tati,
JD Salinger,
Oakland A's fans,
Paul Robeson Remembered,
The Character Actor Appreciation Society,
The Flappers,
The Jazz Age (1920s-1940s),
The Office,
The Silent Majority,
The Sopranos,
The Wire,
vonnegut,
wodehouse,
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... ever taken of me, but thanks to lil' 3.3 lbs. Harley, it's quite possible the cutest. Here we are in Hollywood chillin' at The Standard.
Left to right: Dana "Church Lady" Carvey, Bobby "Pitbull of Comedy" Slayton and Edwin "Writes Like Hell" Heaven backstage at the Punch Line, San Francisco. Slayton slayed, Carvey rocked and Heaven rolled ... off his chair laughing. (Photo: Robert Altman)
Or is it the love of art? ~ Here's Harley and Heaven posing with a $200K Robert Indiana sculpture.
Yesterday I visited my friend Renata at the Intensive Care Unit of SF General.
She’s been stuck in a coma ever since she got struck by a truck. 22 days ago.
Her adorable little poch Ari didn’t survive.
Sprawled out in that big hospital bed, Renata looked a little like Sleeping Beauty. Well, that’s IF Sleeping Beauty’s tongue had swollen to twice it’s size, and a section of her skull had been removed to relieve pressure on the brain.
But Sleeping Beauty is a cartoon. And this trage...
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Here's a brief CNBC clip from last Wednesday's The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch ... and Edwin Heaven.
www.youtube.com/watch
Note: at the end, Donny (in good fun) needles Edwin about not showing up in a more conservative outfit. Ha! Mr. Heaven's lightning quick retort: "I don't need a 3-piece suit, Donny, I have 3-piece socks!"
Enjoy ... in triplicate.
www.throx.com
If it wasn't for a letter Kurt Vonnegut sent me years ago, I probably wouldn't be writing like hell today.
It was Brother Vonnegut who gave me that very first nudge.
Yes, we called each other brothers. It was his belief that all writers are related. Some are cousins. Some are siblings.
God bless you, Brother Vonnegut.
Thu, April 12, 2007 - 12:45 AM
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Her nose:
A heart-shaped lump of black licorice
with nostrils perfectly round
like small power-drilled holes.
Her eyes:
Two soft puddles of cocoa;
when she looks at you askance
as she does when guarding her toys,
glancing over her shoulder at you, teasingly,
it's perhaps the only time you notice the sclera,
the white of her eyes,
...
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Mon, March 26, 2007 - 11:25 PM
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It wasn't Rachmaninoff.
Nor was It Bach.
Wasn't Ludwig,
nor was it rock.
Didn't send you Gershwin,
nor did I Ellington.
Satchmo, Frank and Bing, neither
of them did I send, either.
No, I simply sent some dumb
but sweet,
neat
but not numb
something
to make you twiddle your thumbs
sweep up the crumbs
rub-a-dub-dums
to this tiddly-twiddly sound
to keep a muse amused
until the next ryhme comes around.
-- Edwin Heaven
Mon, February 27, 2006 - 2:30 AM
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Okay, maybe UFO aliens fixed your car. Or Barbra Streisand gave birth to Michael Jackson's nose. This may, or may not, be true. But one thing you can bet the farm on, yours truly has solved that "age-old mystery of missing socks". It says so right there in the SUN. (Want more proof, go to http:/ www.THROX.com)
At the Castro Theatre, the nice folks from the San Francisco Silent Film Festival presented a silent flick thought long-lost, "Beyond The Rocks", starring Miss Gloria Swanson and Mr. Rudolph Valentino.
Perhaps it should have stayed long-lost.
It wasn't the Sheik of Araby, that's for certain. The way they slapped the white face on Rudy's puss was simply horrid. Who did the makeup? Marcel Marceau?
If you think the makeup was heavy-handed, get a load of the directing. Sam Wood almost ma...
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When Robert Altman shoots you, you stay shot. For the ages.
His gallery of photos is more like a grand history of rock and roll. And not just rock 'n roll. Check it out. Some pretty heady stuff:
www.altmanphoto.com/
So I say in all sincerity, it's an honor—as well as a great pleasure—to know the man and to have him aim his lens at you.
What's more, to find a nicer guy than Mr. Altman is not an easy task.
Same goes for our pal Chet Helms.
This photo was taken backs...
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You don't need to be a three-legged monster to love this Heavenly invention. Throx—the first aocks to come in threes (so when you lose one you still have a pair)—is "The Cure for the Missing Sock."
Fact: An apple landed on the head of Newton and, lo and behold, today we have the Universal Law of Gravitation.
Fact: A sock is lost by inventor Edwin Heaven and, lo and behold, today we have Throx—The Cure for the Missing Sock.
After losing one too many socks, it dawned on Edwin Heaven: i...
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Astounding, is it not?
Little Harley and Edwin Heaven appear as if they go to the same hairdresser.
That color—black 'n blonde with a little gray—the AKC calls it brindle.
But it's purely coincidental.
Either that, or Edwin Heaven is part Teacup Yorkshire Terrier.
Sat, November 5, 2005 - 11:20 PM
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Would you believe ... Don Adams has left the house?
I've been calling him on his shoe-phone all day but, darn it, he doesn't pick up.
Mel Brooks and Buck Henry wrote that show and, man, many a night as a kid, I'd find myself rolling on the floor in a fit of hysterics. (Well, at least they seemed hysterical, back in the days.)
Maxwell Smart was good to the last drop.
But now he's gone. Sorry about that, chief.
Sat, October 1, 2005 - 11:49 PM
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Why doesn't coffee
taste as good
as it smells?
Why does coffee cake
tastes nothing like coffee?
Why isn't there someone
as brave as Che Guevara
in the U.S. Senate?
Why isn't sex
on the dessert menus
of fine restaurants?
Why
must I
ask why,
you ask?
Ask and ye shall find it.
Thu, August 11, 2005 - 10:05 PM
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... Edwin Heaven is not the reason Brooke Burke got divorced. (Uhm, even though she DID name her beautiful daughter ... Heaven!)
Thu, July 28, 2005 - 8:39 PM
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A brief excerpt from Chapter 13 of THE WORLD'S MOST HANDSOME MAN:
It’s all a blur to him. A big fat blur. The building. The elevator. The halls. Ashy gray smeared with tawny white. (Or is it tawny white smeared with ashy gray?) The floors, the ceiling, the walls—one big sullied smear.
Like his life.
Like the constant rejection. Disappointment. Cancellations.
The cancellations; always at the last-minute. Or many times the date didn’t even bother to cancel.
He’...
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April 21st, a sizable chunk of rock history was made at The Rio Theater in Santa Cruz, California.
After almost a twenty year separation, Tubes co-founder Bill "Sputnik" Spooner finally got back on the same stage with his former bandmates. And, needless to say, the sell-out crowd went positively ba-na-nas.
It was almost as dramatic a "kiss 'n makup" moment as the time Frank Sinatra, unannounced, brought Jerry Lewis' former partner Dean Martin onstage at Jerry's 1976 Muscular Dystrophy ...
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Once you're Tubed, you're Tubed forever.
L to R: Edwin Heaven, Steen, Fee Waybill, Prince, Sputnik, Rundgren & Welnick (RIP).
Edwin Heaven singing backup (Wa-wa-wa-wa-wahooo!!!) with Fee Waybill and The Tubes at The Rio Theate
Well, Oh My Paparazzi! It's the legendary Eddie Fisher and writer-director Edwin Heaven discussing Philly cheese steaks and Liz Taylor's erogenous zones (not necessarily in that order).
"* The Cure for the Missing Sock!!! *"
You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi. You're the top! You're Napoleon brandy.
It's Harley and Edwin Heaven, co-starring again.
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