hello friends . . .here's something funny i wrote tonite, inspired by working at a large catering event.
with a mix of frustration, amusement, but not at all surprise, i can b pretty sure that the catering industry places far more importance on the place settings being just so than on human relations. then again, such are the priorities of most humans . . .

credit where credit is due, this is definately inspired by the onion. sometimes dumb, sometimes brilliantly hysterical, this is a great time (10/14/07) to look at their page - www.theonion.com - funny article about "reaganomics finally trickles down to area man."

; - )
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upscale wedding ruined by inconsistent place settings.

(ok this doesnt have a real beginning yet. was written as just a few sentences and grew from the middle. anyway, lets proceed.)

"cousin debra's napkin was placed more decoratively in her glass than mine was! and her set of knives was parallel to the angle of the chair, like they're supposed to be!" pouted area woman janet russel, 42, who harbors deep hatred for her more attractive and intelligent second cousin, debra johnson, 28.

the grandfather of the bride complained to the hotel manager that he recieved water in a wine glass, and wine in a water glass. "it ruined the entire event for me! instead of concentrating on lauren and michaels' first dance, i was processing confusion as to why i, who incidentally forked over most of the funds for this $10,000 party, was being denigrated to the point of having to drink wine from a water glass!"

the evening continued with guests trying to make the best of a difficult situation, until events took a turn for the even worse. at 9:34 pm, mrs. hallie maude greenberg, 86, an aunt of the maid of honor, lifted her coffee cup and discovered a breadplate instead of a saucer underneath. the mistake was traced to jonathan kelder, 25, who apparently had been thinking more about the pain in his shoulder than the types of plates he was putting out. while calculating if his $8.50 per hour post tax salary (with no tips because he is only a temporary worker) would pay for the bodywork needed for his shoulder, he reached for plates from the third shelf of the rack, knowing full well that the saucers reside on the second shelf.

for mrs. greenberg, however, the plate instead of saucer mishap was the last straw. "there - is - no - circle- in - the - mi - dle - of - this - plate--! " , greenberg exclaimed, her voice growing harsher but weaker with every word. ms. greenberg was still shaken from recieving an incorectly sized spoon for her soup, and this pushed her over the edge. her heart stopped beating, and she collapsed in her strawberry mouse pie. which was, incorrectly, in a plate meant only for cheesecake.

the spilton hotel and resort chain, which faces a $2 million dollar lawsuit, says, via spokesperson, that they are considering switching all of their food service functions to buffet style.