Mongo rules. Seriously. I'm not hyperbolizing (much) when I say he's got all yo babydaddy beat. Before becoming his housemate and feeling like he's almost family, I got kind of crushed out on him back in the day. And I was really obnoxious about it, and thankfully got over myself. 14 years later, he's still awesome but it'd be like kissing your uncle or something, only wackier, so I'll restrain myself. But other women should dive in, tongue first. This badass casanova got it goin' awn. Hell yeah. He's more down, and more approachably punkrock than any boy you know.

Why all you Degrassi Jr. High School-watchin' Judy Blume-lovin' misanthropic girl scouts are not already here beating the door down to get your bids in to bed this fine steed is... Beyond Me. Unless you're headed over now, but got like, tied up in traffic, which is, you know, understandable and everything.

Just make sure to call if you're coming later. And keep your fork, there'll be pie.

Dan is funny, polite, a wonderful host, as well as a sarcastic misanthrope. He's the only person I know who can switch from harmonica to ukelele to 6 string guitar without a hitch. He's great company and you should value any time spent in his company. 5 stars. Would definitely do business again.