Bugs Bunny is Satan.

I have this theory. It may sound a bit odd, but follow me on this one. I have a theory that Warner Bros. cartoons are not cartoons at all. They are a direct window into hell. Visions for our amusement, but also to serve as a warning. Each and every character in those shows is either inflincting incredible amounts of physical and psychological torture, or is on the recieving end, for all of eternity. Even if that character dies, he's back the next week to face the same trauma, over and over again, as millions of young people the world over cackle madly in their pajamas, snorting whole milk and marshmallow cereals out of their nasal passages.

Bugs Bunny is the Devil and the Road Runner is his right hand man. Wile E. Coyote was a proud philanderer during his days on Earth, and is now condemned to wander the desert forever starving, smacking into walls painted to look like tunnels, and beset upon by faulty Acme products. Daffy Duck was quite obviously an embezzler, also with a touch of pride, but his greed is what cost him his eternal soul, and is what now taunts him infinitely as he stumbles blindly through the Ninth Level of Hades. I can only think that in his Earthly life, Porky Pig wore robes each and every day, the robes of the priesthood. With that stutter, his lack of pants, and the shit that Bugs puts him through, you know he must have @?!@ed more than his fair share of little boys. However Yosemite Sam still remains a mystery to me. I know not what his sins may be, yet every time I witness his trials and tribulations, I can't help but feel this nagging sensation in the base of my spine that someday I might have to strap on those guns, and fill those tiny little boots.



It's just a theory.