Mea Vitae Luna

The Moon

   Sun, July 6, 2008 - 10:08 PM
Ah, this healing process! I find as I am growing back into being myself that I feel compelled to write and revisit my innermost thoughts and fears, my great uncertainties about life, relationships, and my own state of mind. I thank each of you, my beautiful friends, who support me in my struggle, with your love and kindnesses. I gain strength by your love. I will get through this and I know that time really does heal all wounds. Sometimes it just feels as though it could take forever.
P





The Moon


The Moon, she is a goddess,
A torment to me
On nights like last
The demons scurrying about
In my head
They look like me
They walk like me
They fear like me
They fill my head with their
Mutterings and whispers
Of ill ease and suspicions
Of insecurities and ugliness

I grab them and shake them
I chastise them with the truth
But they appear deaf to my entreaties
Cajoling has an effect but temporary
So I reach inside my head
And begin the battle for my sanity
The lunacy overwhelms me
And I give in
Have intercourse with demon thoughts
They are most persuasive
Pervasive
Perverse

When the Mind Fucking is done I explode
Into anger, illogic, betrayal, mistrust
But the Moon, she is a goddess
And I stand naked in the calmness of her light
Tides swirling and crashing
Against my moorings
And scream for the demons to go
I will blind them with her light
With her strength I shall succeed
And feel no longer
The need to howl my inadequacies
In her face



2 Comments

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Mon, July 7, 2008 - 7:20 PM
hi pam,
just wanted to say that you are on our minds.
much love to you on your healing journey.
i know you have a lot of people around you for support.
please take care,
xo j & h
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 2:57 PM
Soul~Search
Sunny Days
will change Pamela's ways
A New Season begins
as a New Pamela wins
both the Sun & The Moon Shine upon her Beautiful SouL
She is to take some time and find her flow
Victory or peace of mind is only time away...