A little pit grows.
Wish I could quell a growing storm, distant grey anvils clang their warning.
I'm sorry I wasn't there.
You deserved more, you all did.
It's just that some days are harder than others. Some weeks, some dark months sneak by me, I just ride their happy coattails.
I see better in the rearview, some objects closer than others. Closer than they seem.
What you don't know, doesn't matter. Couldn't help me anyhow. I couldn't ask for help, because I didn't know I needed it.
Wish I could help.
Wish I could quiet the rolling, roaring thunder that's coming.
And I wish I could have used my short time better, yet another lesson in time-management.
Life-management, medication-management, work-management.
Life and love and work all dim their flashing lights in the rain - it falls softly, one drop at a time at first, and then the swift flood comes to rinse us clean.
If I prayed, I'd pray for those who are lonely. Who are ill and don't know it yet. Who would chase their dreams.
I would pray for those who don't have a choice, for the wrong choice, for the right choice made too late.
I would ask forgiveness for the clouds and the rain and the winter that slid by me.
I have it all, but still can't keep it together. I wished I had realized sooner that the gaping was getting larger. Maybe I could have pulled it back sooner?
Sorry, guys. I left for a while but I'm back now.
Hope I get to stay, and the water doesn't creep too high.