My Blog

OMFG NEW CIRCUS CONTRAPTION

evacado — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:39:22 GMT

CDBaby and iTunes have Circus Contraption's new album - "Half-wit's Descent" SO MUCH FUN! Oh yes, that is a klezmer-swing cover of the Pink Elephants song from Dumbo. You NEED to hear it! Circus Contraption does dark-circus honky tonk? "Arsenic or everclear/pick your poison quick my dear..." This album is SO GOOD (that is, if you're into klezmer-gypsy-circus-Tom Waits-on-a-carousel-kind of stuff.)

Go home.

evacado — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 10:03:54 GMT

A little pit grows. Wish I could quell a growing storm, distant grey anvils clang their warning. I'm sorry I wasn't there. You deserved more, you all did. It's just that some days are harder than others. Some weeks, some dark months sneak by me, I just ride their happy coattails. I see better in the rearview, some objects closer than others. Closer than they seem. What you don't know, doesn't matter. Couldn't help me anyhow. I couldn't ask for help, because I didn't know I needed it. Wish I could help. Wish I could quiet the rolling, roaring thunder that's coming. And I wish I could have used my short time better, yet another lesson in time-management. Life-management, medication-management, work-management. Life and love and work all dim their flashing lights in the rain - it falls softly, one drop at a time at first, and then the swift flood comes to rinse us clean. If I prayed, I'd pray for those who are lonely. Who are ill and don't know it yet. Who would chase their dreams. I would pray for those who don't have a choice, for the wrong choice, for the right choice made too late. I would ask forgiveness for the clouds and the rain and the winter that slid by me. I have it all, but still can't keep it together. I wished I had realized sooner that the gaping was getting larger. Maybe I could have pulled it back sooner? Sorry, guys. I left for a while but I'm back now. Hope I get to stay, and the water doesn't creep too high.

Check out my new website

evacado — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:22:57 GMT

More video in the works... www.dragonflyaerials.com Let me know what you think!

Post.

evacado — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 04:06:48 GMT

I saw your secret. I suppose it wasn't really yours, but it somehow rang a bell in my head, telling me a little more about you. Wish I'd been there, to say I wouldn't, too. To say I have, or I haven't, to assign that guilt blame and doubt. We all have, or we all haven't. I pretend I know, I must say I pretend that I'm the most well-adjusted person in the room. I also must say I'm terrified someone will find out otherwise. I guess that's my secret, that I'm afraid someone will expose me for a fraud. Some blue-haired charlatan gazing over my crystal ball, assigning pathologies and reading your tea leaves. Pretending some wise-ness. Truth be told, we're all that crazy and someday that'll be me, shivering in the limelight of someone else's... Vitriol is the word of the day. And I nod in agreement and I roll my eyes appropriately, when I ought to be counting my blessings. It's all temporary, I know that and I've been through all that, I knew better than to bring it up, cause I knew you wouldn't have any better answers anyway. I believe in this solution, I believe in a strange and wonderful future, I can see it in my little glass ball. I can see it in your tea leaves, in your very small cup. Let's throw bones, shall we? Turn another page, now that we both know a little more about eachother. I hope this is an opportunity to know a little more about ourselves. We all have secrets. We're all faking it. Someday, we will all have our turn.

Thank you, Ambulance Driver.

evacado — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 23:07:36 GMT

WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES? 1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Mollie Beetle - lead singer for a Paul McCartney tribute band. 2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Lemon Chip. What? You wanna make sumpin' of it? 3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) C.C. He. The ambiguously gendered hip-hopper. 4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Burgundy Chinchilla. Ok, Chinchillas aren't my favorite, but Burgundy Lemur just wasn't as '40's noir. I can see myself smoking in a beige overcoat and dark hat, breathily asking "So, Mr. Chip, you could tell me where you were last saturday night, or we could step into my office..." 5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Reilly Redmond. That's just classic. 6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Chech. That's like a sound you make when you're puking. Used to be Telch, but now that I'm associated with the rebel forces, I've gone underground. 7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Cobalt Cranberry. My name strikes fear into the hearts of villains everywhere as they recall the violet (not to be confused with violent) vengeance I have wreaked upon their juice boxes. 8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) John Albert. I'll be driving the #420 Controlled Burn car... 9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Lavender Skittles. Stripper, or Sesame Street character? Only Burgundy Chinchilla will ever know. 10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) Anne Gordon. That's a better Detective name, if you ask me. 11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Kinman Killeen. 12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Autumn Gerbera. Pronounced with an english accent. 13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + "ie" or "y") Strawberry Scrubbie. The newest Teletubbie. 14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Cheerio Maple. 15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) The Silk Lightning Tour. Actually, I'm promoting my new porno film, featuring Cheerio Maple, Reilly Redmond, Lavender Skittles and Mollie Beetle in a best-boobs compeTITion. Baby, I've got your strawberry scrubbie right here...

Sacred/Secret

evacado — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 06:19:40 GMT

Would you want to know? I'm not sure if I'd like to, some days it doesn't matter, and some days I wonder if I've made it up As if knowing would absolve me somehow As if hearing the words would validate a lifetime of confused moments, feeling two inches to the left, Feeling helpless, feeling heartless, giftless and worthless. Some sudden breakthrough would heal the little world. But was it ever broken? And what if I was just wrong? And who ever really knows the truth? And does it really matter? I am what I am, what I make of myself and the world. Beyond a certain time, it's all a choice and you make it up as you go along and it's not anyone's fault but your own. But then again, it's not your fault. Hard to draw that line, what crimes are mine, What spoils of whose war can I claim for my own. As if knowing would actually change anything...

Family

evacado — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 07:26:15 GMT

You know, you guys... If it weren't for you all, H and I would probably have our house on the market, and be packing up to move back to Seattle after Burningman. We came here (sort of unwillingly) a little less than three years ago, with the full intention of moving home the day after H's 3-year contract expired. And then Controlled Burn came along. And now, thanks to y'all, we're stuck in this hot, dry, dusty, godforsaken place with no trees and no ocean and no good goth clothing with you freaks. And now we don't know when we'll go home. I suppose whenever we stop having the time of our lives with this incredible family and the exploding opportunities dry up. I promised my mom I'd be home before we had kids, and the clock's tickin, guys, so, you all had better start getting boring and ugly, so we can move home and start poppin' out rugrats. My mom bugs me all the time "when are you moving home, I wanna be a grandma!" My poor mom. Something tells me she's going to have to wait a while.

Fear and bacon

evacado — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 12:40:25 GMT

Sat out on the roof this morning, and watched a great gray goose drift by, her feet streaming in the lazy blue behind her; her tiny footling goslings trailing long behind. I watched the dusky smoke settle in the crook of the hill, like the innocent fog. Such beautiful destruction. I think of my poor mom, of her string of disasters: lesson after lesson in the value of Today. Because you're never, ever guaranteed tomorrow. Do one thing each day that frightens you. Do one thing each day that helps you conquer the fear that holds you hostage, and little by little, you are a little more free. I am afraid of spiders, powertools, drains, and offending people, among other things. What are you afraid of? Ryano, you don't seem to be afraid of anything, and while it's mildly annoying at times, the rest of the time I really admire it in you. I was afraid of saying that. Because the only thing that ever holds me back, the one thing that prevents me from true peace and happiness and effectiveness, is fear. Well, fear and ignorance, that is. So I must do one thing each day that frightens me, whether it's holding my breath and trying that drop full-speed, even if I'm not sure of the wrap... Or, it's telling someone what I truly think because they deserve to hear it, or it's scooping a small, frightened, eight-legged creature into a cup to be escorted outside... One thing. Today it was climbing out the window of Triage onto the hospital roof to watch the sun rise. What if someone sees me? What if they forget to call ahead, and I have to explain to a patient why I was out the window? What if I get in trouble? What if I get to see the flickering forest fire, and smell the bacon from the kitchen? Every day. Maybe, one day, I will look down on my fading body and be able to say, "well, no Nobel Prize, but at least I wasn't afraid."

Tangles.

evacado — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 21:32:58 GMT

One leg, a flash, that ice. Dangerous curves, just off to the left. Bounce, snake those arms right into my dreams, you'd walk through me. Walk straight to you, what's in your pocket? Tugging and pulling, more at me than at that cloth, I'd give the world to be that cotton right now. Is that alright with you? Soft, so soft, I forget the change in texture and the tempo shift. Put my head in your lap, your voice in my head, long legs sway, slight smile sweet breeze I do remember the salt rolling across my tongue. I remember having intent to thrill, to do anything that would get me closer, to extract a tart nectar from seeming air and share it with the room. Dilated minds, filled with a thousand tiny pleasures, a thousand tiny coins I'd pay more than a nickel for your thoughts, to hear what secrets your ringlets tell. To hear whether you are thinking what I'm thinking. Encore? Or maybe that was just the appetizer.

Zipless...

evacado — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:37:40 GMT

I am a dangerous creature, yes. Risking something precious, perhaps, and again, perhaps not. The coast seems all clear It's never been foul weather, nor foul play. I walk a thin line, a tight rope between disaster and ecstasy. You walk through me, every time. And could you stand the pressure, could you take it at face value, Or have to zip it back up? It's been my experience that tree branches sway precariously And cannot be relied upon. That it's too easy to fall asleep at the wheel, to trip and fall down. Risking something precious, perhaps not. But I can't count on another go around, and I never found a good reason to say no. "Pride and Honor" will serve you well most of the time, but sometimes the devil serves you just as well. Just making sure you keep from dropping any of your cards, is where the key lies. That and reading all of the fine print. I never found a good reason to say no, and have few regrets yet. How about you?

Ko Lanta, Thailand

evacado — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 09:26:09 GMT

Ko Lanta is a pain in the butt to get to. Take a taxi to a bus station, wait an hour, take bus to a ferry, wait an hour, take the ferry, drive madly through what appears to be the back streets of some third world country, but is in fact the main road through the island, then get on another ferry, then drive madly through some more crazy back streets to drop some other unsuspecting foreigners off at some hole in the ground that was advertised as a beachside villa, wait while they figure out that yes, this is the beachside villa, and yes, they are staying here, and then turn around Austin Powers style and drive back out the dirt road to something that resembles civilization and then down the road to our place, which is actually a really sweet hotel right next to a beautiful beach. I can whine because it was a wierd and scary journey getting here. Otherwise we are having a wonderful time. We spent a couple of days in Bangkok - seeing the sights, the grand palace, the crazy 7-floor Thai malls, several temples, and not very much of the backs of our eyelids. I made everyone walk several blocks to go to this little ferry dock by the river and eat in a little restaurant - the food was just as good as I remember it. The best part was that as we are eating, the river is rising through the floor of the restaurant, flooding the place. One of the Thai women who ran the place insisted on giving Chrissy and Howard piggyback rides to the exit. Mark and I waded through a couple inches of water to get out before she could get back to pack us along, too. No-one really seemed o care much about the rising water, one woman was using it to mop some other bit of the wooden floor that hadn't been submerged, yet. We flew to Chiang Mai for a couple days, buying way too much stuff at the night markets, eating really fantastic Thai food. We stayed in a noisy and cheap but welcoming place on a corner by the night market. The people there were wonderful (as they have been all over Thailand - that's one of the things I love most about this country - Thais are exceedingly kind, helpful, gracious, understanding and funny people.) Rode elephants. They love to eat bananas - there are people there selling the bananas to the tourists so that they can feed them to the elephants. An elephant thought Howard's leg looked a little like a banana, and grabbed him with its trunk through the fence. You'd be surprised how slimy elephant trunks really are. Now we're on Ko Lanta on a beautiful white beach. The waves are gentle, the sand is smooth, the water is clean. There aren't many other people here - you can look a mile down the beack and see only 3 or 4 other people. Yesterday was my birthday. Sadly I came down with a cold two days ago, and spent yesterday fighting off a fever. After we finally got to our hotel last night, I crashed on the bed. I was sleeping away, dreaming about work, when the door of our room burst open and Howard, Mark, and Chrissy danced in singing "Happy Birthday" and bearing gifts of Pocky Sticks and M&Ms. They even found a little cake and some candles. We sat around and watched a movie and ate 'til we were sick. It was a fantastic birthday, one I'll remember for a long time. Anyway, that's all I'm gonna write for now, we'll be home Friday with pictures and stories. Now it's time to nap. And then nap some more. And then eat. And then sit on the beach and watch time go by very, very slowly.