My Blog

Exquisite Restraint Corestry Written up in Body Magazine

evilgrrl — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:47:12 GMT

http://www.bodymagazine.us/news.php?idArticles=456 Simone C. Williams, owner, designer and sole employee of Exquisite Restraint Corsets is working on expanding her market to specialty stores. She has also recently begun marketing her wares to stylists and designers. Currently, she sells the men’s and women’s corsets through her website in a lower-tier category running under $300, and higher- tier category running up to $350. She also custom designs corsets running up to $1,000. Sizes sold through the website are XS to XXL, but Williams can custom design “just about any other size” as well. She uses a variety of fabrics including satin, silk and cotton. Customers include burlesque dancers, photographers, fetish models, drag queens, goths and anyone else seeking a trim tummy. “What I offer is one of a kind and personal: truly a work of art,” Williams said. “I have gotten a lot of feedback from people saying that my corsets make their bodies look amazing.” With her background in garment tailoring, Williams also offers a variety of other services to stylists and designers. These include product rental services charged on a case-by-case basis. For designers, she is able to create corsets based on their sketches. “I am proud to offer many different corsets to fit your needs, from washable foundation garments worn under clothing to red-carpet-ready couture items,” her website reads. Exquisite Restraint Corsets is an online corsetry company started in 2000 and based in California. For further information, email exrezcorsets@cs.com.

I'm Moving to San Diego

evilgrrl — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 05:42:48 GMT

www.evilgrrlslair.blogpot.com I wanted to write this blog to send to people with my new contact information to explain a little bit about why I'm moving. As most of you know, I moved to LA with the hope and intent to make a living in the film business. I wanted to write - and I have, although it hasn't gone anywhere - and work in film production as a day job. I was employed on some TV shows and movies - most notable Power Rangers, but never got on the big budget shows I wanted to work on, even after I joined the Union. Periodically I worked in non-entertainment jobs, like at National Construction Rentals, but at the current time, I have been completely unable to find any job in any industry with a salary that would allow me to pay my mortgage. Fortunately, I have very good friends - Chris and Don, whom I think of as my family of choice - who had actually asked me to move in with them before and still wanted me to do so. Unfortunately, they live in Escondido, a little north of San Diego. I love my condo, and I love living in Valencia, but financial circumstances just don't allow me to keep living here. Escondido has some very nice features, though (nicest of all, Don and Chris), and I've gotten to like it more and more as I've spent time there visiting. They helped me find a nice, affordable senior living facility near their house, and my mom will be moving in there the first week of April. Her building is near the Senior Center, and I still plan on seeing her every day and taking her shopping. One of my biggest worries has been not being able to work in film any more. However, with the economic slowdown and the continuing threat of a SAG strike, I don't think I'd have a better chance of finding film work in LA than I will in the San Diego area. I'm also unsure about my future in production. I've worked on some shows where the coordinator worked mostly in the office, but I've also worked on shows where I busted my ass going up and down stairs all day, closed up all the stages at night, gone to every location, and ended up carrying a lot of stuff for load in and load out. I can still do it, but it's starting to get a little old, and so am I. So what's the bright side of this situation? Well, while I'm still sending out resumes and looking for work, my unemployment still leaves me with a good amount of free time. I've been spending a lot of it writing again. Not another screenplay this time, but non-fiction, commentary, book and movie reviews, blogging, all kinds of things (as some of you know from my many emails to you with samples asking for critique! LOL!). After I get moved in down in Escondido, I have a project or two that I think may lead to some creatively satisfying work for me. The other downside to moving is that I will no longer be seeing my friends in LA as often. Escondido is not all that far from LA, though, especially as anyone who knows Chris and Don are aware, as they have been up here frequently. We still intend to come up here to socialize and visit, although probably not as much as in the past, at least not until the economy improves. I still want to stay in touch with people, though, so please do make sure you have my current contact info. Please wish me the best in my new endeavors, and let me know how things are going with you if you get a chance.

Trust Obama and Let Warren Speak His Piece

evilgrrl — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 05:06:30 GMT

Monday, December 22, 2008 Trust Obama and Let Warren Speak his Piece A lot of people are very upset about Obama inviting the now notorious Rev. Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration. This has been evidenced by the many, many blog entries posted about it and the HRC's petition asking Obama to rescind the invitation. Rev. Warren was very vocal about his endorsement of Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage in California, and LGBT rights proponents continue to protest in front of his church (as well they should). Now they feel insulted that their guy, Obama, has made Rick Warren such a public part of our celebration Now, don't get me wrong. I don't particularly like Rick Warren either. Oh, he's friendly, and he's a good speaker and all, but it's hard for me to like someone who is so opposed to a lot of the things I believe in. When Prop. 8 made it to the ballot, I came out as bisexual in places where I wouldn't normally be out, and I gently made the argument for gay marriage to people with pretty closed minds. I encouraged people to vote against Prop. 8, and I helped get out the vote. Since the proposition passed, I have signed petitions and written emails (and blogs) against it and continued to speak out about it. I have supported the boycott against businesses that contributed money to the campaign, and I am following the legal challenges to it going through the state court system right now. I absolutely do not want to invalidate anyone's feelings about Warren and his giving the invocation. He certainly would not be my first choice. Then again, I'm not Barack Obama. I don't have his experience, and I'm not as smart as he is. That's why he's going to be the next President and I'm not. I was not always an Obama supporter either, but once I threw in with him, I went in with him 100%. I don't agree with his choice of Rev. Warren, but you know what? I'm pretty sure I'm not going to agree with all his choices or actions during the next 4 - 8 years either. I trust the man, though, and realize there must be good reasons behind the decision. Some of Warren's apologists have tried to say, "Well, he's not that bad, or he also does charity work for AIDS. He says he loves gays even if he doesn't love gay marriage." I myself can't say that he's "not that bad," but he's not the worst, and therein (I think) lies part of the reason Obama picked him. Unlike Pat Boone, he's not comparing the gay protesters in front of his church with the terrorists in Mumbai (What happened there, Pat? Early senility?). He listens to Melissa Etheridge and was willing to have Obama come speak at his Saddleback Church, despite their differences in opinion about abortion, gay rights, and probably a slew of other things. Warren is willing to give the invocation at a Democratic inauguration, despite the flack he is getting from the conservatives for "going over to the other side." More importantly, Warren has hundreds of thousands - perhaps millions - of followers and readers all over the world. We already know that many of these people are not traditional Christians, despite their traditional social values. Warren has been asking his followers to focus less on abortion, gay rights and stem cell research, and more on global warming, world poverty, literacy, education, and AIDS and other diseases. He had tried to predispose them to placing a lesser value on some of the things that divide them from us, and more value on the things that unite us. Does that mean he is worthy of giving the invocation? Not particularly. What it does mean, is that - through him - we now have access to all of his worshipers, and all of the readers of his book, "The Purpose Driven Life." A lot of his American supporters are "Reagan Democrats," or people who used to be Democrats before Reagan charmed the pants off of them. Many of them are not hateful or particularly homophobic; they are ignorant and biased, but not impossibly so. We need to reach out to those people and bring them back into our fold. How do we do that? Not by yelling or being hateful. We do it by showing them our best side. We demonstrate to them what decent, honorable, normal people we are and what loving families we have. Will it win over everyone? Of course not, but given a little time, it will start winning over many of them. I am convinced of it. Why else would Obama invite Warren to the party? Well, I think Obama knows just how uncomfortable he makes many Americans. I did phone banking full time during the election for 2 months, and I spoke to some of those people. They bought into John McCain's and Sarah Palin's insinuations that Obama is an unAmerican, Muslim, White-people-hating anarchist, and they bought into it lock, stock and smoking barrel. Choosing Rick Warren will calm them down. They know and like Rick Warren, and will be more inclined to watch the inauguration if he's a part of it, and maybe that will be one of the first steps toward the unification our country so desperately needs. I know a lot of us worked our asses off for Obama - many people worked much harder than I did. We would all like a big pat on the back and reinforcement that Obama is going to be on our side in the struggle for gay rights. Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to get much more than we've already gotten. Telling us how he feels about gay rights is like preaching to the choir. I believe he is already at work on our behalf softening up Americans who don't know anybody openly gay (yes, they still exist). He's got an international financial crisis to deal with, as well as an extremely unpopular war he has to get us out of, and a million other things. In his mind, he knows what he's going to do about gay rights, and he's told us, and it's time to move on to other things. Undoubtedly, Obama is as tough as nails. You would have to be in order to deal - day in and day out - with the scum of the earth racists I'm sure he's encountered almost every day of his life, and still maintain his cool and get where he is today. And obviously he can listen to people with whom he disagrees without changing his own opinion; his membership in fiery pastor Rev. Wright's church proves that. That is why I personally don't think the battle to kick Rick Warren out of the inauguration is one worth fighting. I have confidence that Obama is on our side, and has our best interests (and the best interests of our country) at heart. Protest peacefully if you want and make a statement, but I say let this election's losers have a place of honor in our celebration. After all, we just made more than a statement; we won the election. Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Warren http://www.ocregister.com/articles/warren-obama-drake-2265240-baptist-pa

A Union Between One Man and One Woman?

evilgrrl — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 05:01:36 GMT

Monday, December 15, 2008 Anyone reading this is probably aware that gay marriage was banned in California by Proposition 8 on the November 2008 ballot. The text of that controversial proposition reads as follows: “SEC. 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. ” (1) Consequently, California will now issue marriage licenses only to couples that consist of one man and one woman. I'm pretty sure the state is competent to enforce this law, but what I'm not so sure about is the state's ability to define the terms “man” and “woman.” Hold on, I hear you saying. That's counterintuitive, right? Everyone knows what a man is and what a woman is. A man is a an adult human with a penis, and a woman is an adult human with a vagina, correct? Yes, that is correct . . . if we are willing to define gender by exterior genitalia, which works in most cases. There are, however, a small percentage of people who do not fit as neatly into these categories as we might expect. One example would be transsexuals, who have had gender reassignment surgery. Their external sexual organs now appear male or female, but they were born a different gender. Are they allowed to marry, and if so, can they marry people of the same gender they are now, or the gender they were when they were born? Different states have handled this dilemma in different ways. In some states, anyone who is now legally a man can marry a woman and vise versa. In other states, one's legal gender is determined by one's birth certificate. That would allow someone who was born a man, but had gender reassignment surgery to become a woman, to marry only another woman. Sounds like gay marriage to me, but since the state has worked out definitions of men and women (on the basis of birth certificates), it guess it works. Those couples can enjoy the legal benefits of marriage while they reside in the state where they married, regardless of whether they look like a gay couple or not. Outside that state, of course, they won't necessarily be entitled to those benefits, because other states may define “a man” and “a woman” differently. Barring transsexual people, however, it should be fairly easy to determine gender based on external genitalia, right? Once again we encounter people who are not as easily categorized. Some people are born with some form of intersex, a group of conditions where there is a discrepancy between the external genitals and the internal genitals (the testes and ovaries). (2) Briefly, humans have 46 chromosomes, which contain all the genes and DNA, the building blocks of the body. The two sex chromosomes determine if a person becomes a boy or a girl. Females normally have two of the same sex chromosomes, written as XX. Males normally have an X and a Y chromosome (written as XY). People who do not have the standard XX or XY configuration - usually due to hormonal abnormalities in the womb - may have external male genitals, but the chromosomes of a female. This condition is called, “46, XX Intersex.” Similarly, someone with “46, XY Intersex,” has female genitalia, but male chromosomes. (2) One additional condition, “True Gonadal Intersex,” affects people who have both ovarian and testicular tissue. The external genitals may be ambiguous or may appear to be female or male. Additionally, “Complex or Undetermined Intersex” results from one of many chromosome configurations, including “45, XO” (only one X chromosome), and “47, XXY” or “47, XXX” -- these cases have an extra sex chromosome, either an X or a Y. (2) Often children born with these conditions are operated on as a matter of course to make them appear unambiguously male or female. This can result, however, in disorientation and emotional difficulties later in life, if the initial gender selection was incorrect. They often seek gender reassignment surgery again later in life to bring their self-identity and their physical appearance into agreement. (3) How do we determine who – if anyone – these individuals are allowed to marry? How many people will be affected by laws that define marriage as between one man and one woman? It is estimated that between 1.7 and 4% of the population is born with intersex conditions. Various estimates of the gay population range from 1% to 10%. (4) If the population of California is 36,457,549 (5), then that percentage refers to at least a million Californians. That may be statistically insignificant, but it's certainly important to the people it describes. I am making this argument in all earnestness. The truth is, however, that in addition to wanting you to consider the impact of Prop. 8 and other laws like it on specific people, I also want you to take a minute and consider in the abstract the arguments against defining marriage as a union of one man and one woman. Don't allow yourself to simply succumb to a knee-jerk reaction – or even a well-thought-out rationalization – about homosexuality. Consider it – at least for a time - from a detached, logical perspective. Are you positive you know the definitions of man and woman? Have you really thought about why gay marriage would be bad for society, or have you just accepted the popular arguments of “It's always been that way,” and “It's against God,” in the same way that gay marriage activists have labeled everyone in favor of Prop 8 as bigots, haters, and religious zealots? Can you try to open your mind and see the other side of the equation as well as you expect everyone can already see your side? As flawed and sinful as the rest of us, gay people, transgendered people and intersexed people are made in God's image and are God's children. I believe it is for God to judge them, not Man, and I'm not willing to codify into law any opinions about God's will that don't coincide with the Constitution. And does it ever seem to you the slightest bit of hubris to assume you know God's law and God's plan? Now turn to the issues I raised earlier, because I am still quite serious about them. Are minorities protected in America, regardless of how small they are, and whether they are based on skin color, birth defect or sexual orientation? Should we insist that everyone who applies for a marriage license get a chromosome test, and if so, to what end? It's easy to say gay people shouldn't get married; it's hard to figure out who legally does have the right to get married and why. Does it matter whether a minority offends you, or does everyone get equal treatment under the law? Should we treat people of different religions differently that we treat everyone else? And who is “everyone else” anyway? It's my belief that in America, everyone is protected equally under the law: people of all races, religions, creeds, genders, countries of origin, or sexual orientation. People are entitled to their religious beliefs, but when it comes to the law, we should all be treated equally. ENDNOTES 1. California General Election Official Voter Information Guide - http://www.voterguide.sos.ca.gov/title-sum/prop8-title-sum.htm 2. Medline Plus, Medical Encyclopedia, a service of the US Library of Medicine, and the National Institutes of Health - http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001669.htm 3. "Who Will Make Room for the Intersexed?” AMERICAN JOURNAL OF LAW AND MEDICINE, Volume 30, Number 1: Pages 41-68,Summer 2004 - http://www.cirp.org/library/legal/USA/haas1/ 4. “Size matters: a comparison of anti- and pro-gay organizations' estimates of the size of the gay population,” PubMed.gov, a service of the US Library of Medicine, and the National Institutes of Health - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12066990?dopt=Abstract 5. US Census Bureau State & County QuickFacts, 2006 estimate - http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/06000.html

The Piss in My Champagne: Obama Wins, Gay Marriage Loses

evilgrrl — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 04:53:32 GMT

Nov. 21 I was overjoyed when Barack Obama won the presidency. I had been working at a phone bank for him, calling registered voters, for about 2 months before the election, and before that, I had been busy reposting articles and promoting him on social networking sites like "Facebook" and "My Space." I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend the night of the election, and I couldn't believe how fast things happened. The polls closed at 8 PM here in California, and by 8:15, CNN was projecting Obama as the winner! McCain conceded around what seemed like 8:30. I couldn't believe it! No big election fraud. No recounts needed (at least not for Obama). No legal wrangling. McCain gave it up in a dignified and gracious speech, and then it was just time to celebrate! Well . . . except for one niggling little thing. It was starting to look like Proposition 8, which would ban gay marriage in California, was going to pass. By the next day, almost everyone agreed that it had passed, and Los Angeles County stopped issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. That was like piss in my champagne, I have to tell you. Let me fill you in on a little background: I do not consider myself gay. I have been bisexual all my life, although I tried reeeaaallly hard not to be until I was in my mid-thirties. I had crushes on a few girls, and I mentally and emotionally explored bisexuality, but I didn't do anything about it. I figured: I can live a straight lifestyle with none of the discrimination gay people face. Why borrow trouble? The story of my acceptance of being bisexual, however, is a story for another day. I just wanted to note that I am not, nor have I ever been, a big promoter of the "Gay Agenda," as the right-wing Christians like to call it. Neither, just for the record, do I want to get married. Not to anyone: male or female or transgendered. Okay, if Angelina Jolie were available, I might consider it, but otherwise. . . So the banning of gay marriage didn't mess up any of my plans, or the lives or plans of anyone very close to me. When the original ban against same sex marriage was overturned this spring, though, somehow I started subconsciously thinking that I had the same rights as everyone else. I knew from personal experience that not everyone agreed with gay marriage. Hell, some of my fellow Obama phone bankers disagreed with it. That's their right; this is America, after all, where we are all allowed to have our own opinions. My personal opinion has been, if you think something is wrong, don't do it. If you think abortion is murder, for God's sake don't have one! If you believe homosexual relationships are sinful, don't have a homosexual relationship. Likewise, if you think -- like the Pope does -- that birth control is wrong, then don't use any (although I do have some ideological problems with world population rates). If you agree that imbibing alcohol or caffeine is against God, like the Church of the Latter Day Saints (AKA the Mormons), then don't imbibe. Christian Scientists think you are going against the will of God if you receive medical care, and the Jehovah's Witnesses say you will go to Hell if you have a blood transfusion. Thankfully, none of these beliefs have been codified into California or national law at this time. In America, we don't base our laws on our religion. Some of you probably have a different opinion about that too, but as I said, you're entitled to it. Our Founding Fathers (and Mothers) had seen Europe torn apart by religious wars, and wanted to protect our country against that by separating church and state. If you disagree on that one, you are still entitled to express your opinion, but I suggest you find your own damn country if you decide you want to enforce it. That's one of the things that worries me about the passage of Proposition 8. If it's legal to take away the rights of the minority with a ballot proposition, then the majority can take away the rights of any minority, as long as you can get enough people to vote for it. Fortunately, I don't think you could get a majority of people to vote to overturn inter-racial or inter-religious marriages, or anything that stupid, but it bothers me that it might be legal if you could. Anyhoo, somehow I'd acquired the crazy notion that if I were out and proud - 24/7 - that I wouldn't encounter a lot of discrimination. You know, I'm talking about wearing the T-shirt and the jewelry, French kissing my girlfriend in public, that sort of thing. Well, that's one illusion brutally ripped away. No, I don't expect to be beaten up or lose my housing because of my same-sex partner, but I'm not completely sure about how it might affect a job or how people might treat me in public. Yes, I've been a wimp. Just like with being bisexual, I've tried to avoid personal discrimination when I could get away with it. I was out to my friends, and by now even my mother has guessed (although we don't actually talk about it), but until now, it was something I thought would be best kept private. You'd think finding out that 52% of my fellow Californians found something objectionable about the idea of my marrying another woman would make me even meeker, but you'd be wrong. Nope, I've broken out the Freedom Rings, and have worn those puppies out in public. Even to the phone bank, although not to job interviews. And I've joined a whole bunch of gay online communities, and have no problem identifying myself as a gay person, even though, like I said, technically I'm bisexual. Somehow the passage of Proposition 8 radicalized me instead of making me want to lay down and die. Now, do I want to take a flame thrower to the Mormon Temples? No (though I sure had the urge to tear down those stupid "Yes on Prop. 8" signs posted on public property, like freeway entrance ramps!). I don't even blame the Mormon Church itself. Not all Mormons supported "Yes on 8," after all, or even voted for it. Same for Catholics. Nor can we ethically blame a racial minority questionably identified in a small exit poll (70% of African Americans voted for Prop. 8? Really? Are you sure?). I'm blaming the people who put this proposition on the ballot, donated money for it, and put on those despicable TV ads saying the not passing proposition 8 would mean homosexuality and gay marriage would be taught in schools, churches would lose their non-profit status, and people would be sued over their personal beliefs. Gee, I thought lying was as much a sin as homosexuality. Now, none of those things had happened since the ban had been overturned in the Spring, but most of those people probably actually believed what they said. Their ads told people that gay marriage threatened kids in school, and straight Californians freaked out. I wish they hadn't, but I can understand why they did. So, do I hate the "Yes on 8" people? No, nor do I believe that most of them hate me. I believe that most people who voted yes on Proposition 8 don't believe they voted against my civil rights. Most of them - even some of the people who put the proposition on the ballot - don't believe they are being hateful and don't understand why we feel so hurt and oppressed. They honestly believe we are somehow trying to force our own beliefs on them, and they don't like it. Welcome to the club, folks! Recently some of the Prop. 8 supporters made an announcement that gay marriage proponents were attacking them physically and attacking Mormons emotionally by demonstrating in front of Temples, which LDS followers consider to be very sacred. Someone anonymously sent unidentified powder to a couple of the temples, and while it turned out to be non-toxic, I'm sure it scared the people who received it to death. Maybe the people who received it didn't even believe in Prop. 8. Now we are being called terrorists. I also want to add that gay people probably believe their marriages are just as sacred as the religious right people do, and they feel just as attacked by "Yes on 8" as the Mormons do by the demonstrators. Some people have posted lists of people and businesses who contributed to Prop. 8 online, complete with website addresses, street addresses and phone numbers. I really hope that does not encourage same-sex-marriage supporters to act hatefully against Prop. 8 supporters. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how hateful people always look so awful on TV? The calm, rational people always come off better? If not, watch of tape of today's Dr. Phil show about gay marriage. Public protest is fair game, and writing respectful letters to businesses and public people is fine. Boycotting companies is legal and ethical. Outing private people to their employers is not, and neither is protesting at someone's house, saying or writing disrespectful things to them, or taunting their kids at school. Violence against people or buildings or cars or whatever is completely unacceptable, as are threats. If we act in a hateful, immature, intolerant way - calling names, yelling, throwing eggs - we will prove to our detractors that we are the Godless, immoral, unlawful people they believe us to be. If we treat them the way we want to be treated, with tolerance, civility, and maturity, we will show them the better angels of our natures, and the normal, everyday love we have for our families. I do not intend to have my rights taken away without fighting for them, but I think our best chance to win is with love, communication, tolerance and fellowship. Obama has recently showed us how hope can win over fear. Let us show our fellow Californians - and the world - that love can win over hate.

Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech

evilgrrl — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:06:23 GMT

Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cvn_obama_text DENVER - Prepared remarks of Sen. Barack Obama for his address to the Democratic National Convention on Thursday night in Denver, as released by the campaign: ADVERTISEMENT To Chairman Dean and my great friend Dick Durbin, and to all my fellow citizens of this great nation: With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States. Let me express my thanks to the historic slate of candidates who accompanied me on this journey, and especially the one who traveled the farthest_ a champion for working Americans and an inspiration to my daughters and to yours — Hillary Rodham Clinton. To President Clinton, who last night made the case for change as only he can make it; to Ted Kennedy, who embodies the spirit of service; and to the next vice president of the United States, Joe Biden, I thank you. I am grateful to finish this journey with one of the finest statesmen of our time, a man at ease with everyone from world leaders to the conductors on the Amtrak train he still takes home every night. To the love of my life, our next first lady, Michelle Obama, and to Sasha and Malia, I love you so much, and I'm so proud of all of you. Four years ago, I stood before you and told you my story of the brief union between a young man from Kenya and a young woman from Kansas who weren't well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, their son could achieve whatever he put his mind to. It is that promise that has always set this country apart, that through hard work and sacrifice, each of us can pursue our individual dreams but still come together as one American family, to ensure that the next generation can pursue their dreams as well. That's why I stand here tonight. Because for 232 years, at each moment when that promise was in jeopardy, ordinary men and women, students and soldiers, farmers and teachers, nurses and janitors, found the courage to keep it alive. We meet at one of those defining moments, a moment when our nation is at war, our economy is in turmoil, and the American promise has been threatened once more. Tonight, more Americans are out of work, and more are working harder for less. More of you have lost your homes, and even more are watching your home values plummet. More of you have cars you can't afford to drive, credit card bills you can't afford to pay, and tuition that's beyond your reach. These challenges are not all of government's making. But the failure to respond is a direct result of a broken politics in Washington and the failed policies of George W. Bush. America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this. This country is more decent than one where a woman in Ohio, on the brink of retirement, finds herself one illness away from disaster after a lifetime of hard work. This country is more generous than one where a man in Indiana has to pack up the equipment he's worked on for twenty years and watch it shipped off to China, and then chokes up as he explains how he felt like a failure when he went home to tell his family the news. We are more compassionate than a government that lets veterans sleep on our streets and families slide into poverty; that sits on its hands while a major American city drowns before our eyes. Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and Independents across this great land: enough! This moment, this election is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On Nov. 4, we must stand up and say: "Eight is enough." Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that, we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we'll also hear about those occasions when he's broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need. But the record's clear: John McCain has voted with George Bush 90 percent of the time. Senator McCain likes to talk about judgment, but really, what does it say about your judgment when you think George Bush has been right more than ninety percent of the time? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to take a ten percent chance on change. The truth is, on issue after issue that would make a difference in your lives, on health care and education and the economy, Senator McCain has been anything but independent. He said that our economy has made "great progress" under this president. He said that the fundamentals of the economy are strong. And when one of his chief advisers, the man who wrote his economic plan, was talking about the anxiety Americans are feeling, he said that we were just suffering from a "mental recession," and that we've become, and I quote, "a nation of whiners." A nation of whiners? Tell that to the proud auto workers at a Michigan plant who, after they found out it was closing, kept showing up every day and working as hard as ever, because they knew there were people who counted on the brakes that they made. Tell that to the military families who shoulder their burdens silently as they watch their loved ones leave for their third or fourth or fifth tour of duty. These are not whiners. They work hard and give back and keep going without complaint. These are the Americans that I know. Now, I don't believe that Senator McCain doesn't care what's going on in the lives of Americans. I just think he doesn't know. Why else would he define middle-class as someone making under $5 million a year? How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big corporations and oil companies but not one penny of tax relief to more than 100 million Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax people's benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college, or a plan that would privatize Social Security and gamble your retirement? It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it. For over two decades, he's subscribed to that old, discredited Republican philosophy — give more and more to those with the most and hope that prosperity trickles down to everyone else. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society, but what it really means is, you're on your own. Out of work? Tough luck. No health care? The market will fix it. Born into poverty? Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, even if you don't have boots. You're on your own. Well, it's time for them to own their failure. It's time for us to change America. You see, we Democrats have a very different measure of what constitutes progress in this country. We measure progress by how many people can find a job that pays the mortgage; whether you can put a little extra money away at the end of each month so you can someday watch your child receive her college diploma. We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was president, when the average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead of down $2,000, like it has under George Bush. We measure the strength of our economy not by the number of billionaires we have or the profits of the Fortune 500, but by whether someone with a good idea can take a risk and start a new business, or whether the waitress who lives on tips can take a day off to look after a sick kid without losing her job an economy that honors the dignity of work. The fundamentals we use to measure economic strength are whether we are living up to that fundamental promise that has made this country great, a promise that is the only reason I am standing here tonight. Because in the faces of those young veterans who come back from Iraq and Afghanistan, I see my grandfather, who signed up after Pearl Harbor, marched in Patton's Army and was rewarded by a grateful nation with the chance to go to college on the GI Bill. In the face of that young student who sleeps just three hours before working the night shift, I think about my mom, who raised my sister and me on her own while she worked and earned her degree; who once turned to food stamps but was still able to send us to the best schools in the country with the help of student loans and scholarships. When I listen to another worker tell me that his factory has shut down, I remember all those men and women on the South Side of Chicago who I stood by and fought for two decades ago after the local steel plant closed. And when I hear a woman talk about the difficulties of starting her own business, I think about my grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle-management, despite years of being passed over for promotions because she was a woman. She's the one who taught me about hard work. She's the one who put off buying a new car or a new dress for herself so that I could have a better life. She poured everything she had into me. And although she can no longer travel, I know that she's watching tonight, and that tonight is her night as well. I don't know what kind of lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this has been mine. These are my heroes. Theirs are the stories that shaped me. And it is on their behalf that I intend to win this election and keep our promise alive as president of the United States. What is that promise? It's a promise that says each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have the obligation to treat each other with dignity and respect. It's a promise that says the market should reward drive and innovation and generate growth, but that businesses should live up to their responsibilities to create American jobs, look out for American workers, and play by the rules of the road. Ours is a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what it should do is that which we cannot do for ourselves, protect us from harm and provide every child a decent education; keep our water clean and our toys safe; invest in new schools and new roads and new science and technology. Our government should work for us, not against us. It should help us, not hurt us. It should ensure opportunity, not just for those with the most money and influence, but for every American who's willing to work. That's the promise of America, the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper. That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now. So let me spell out exactly what that change would mean if I am president. Change means a tax code that doesn't reward the lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who deserve it. Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America. I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the startups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow. I will cut taxes — cut taxes for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class. And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as president: In ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East. Washington's been talking about our oil addiction for the last thirty years, and John McCain has been there for twenty-six of them. In that time, he's said no to higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars, no to investments in renewable energy, no to renewable fuels. And today, we import triple the amount of oil as the day that Senator McCain took office. Now is the time to end this addiction, and to understand that drilling is a stopgap measure, not a long-term solution. Not even close. As president, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology, and find ways to safely harness nuclear power. I'll help our auto companies retool, so that the fuel-efficient cars of the future are built right here in America. I'll make it easier for the American people to afford these new cars. And I'll invest 150 billion dollars over the next decade in affordable, renewable sources of energy; wind power and solar power and the next generation of biofuels; an investment that will lead to new industries and 5 million new jobs that pay well and can't ever be outsourced. America, now is not the time for small plans. Now is the time to finally meet our moral obligation to provide every child a world-class education, because it will take nothing less to compete in the global economy. Michelle and I are only here tonight because we were given a chance at an education. And I will not settle for an America where some kids don't have that chance. I'll invest in early childhood education. I'll recruit an army of new teachers, and pay them higher salaries and give them more support. And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability. And we will keep our promise to every young American — if you commit to serving your community or your country, we will make sure you can afford a college education. Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable, accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my plan will lower your premiums. If you don't, you'll be able to get the same kind of coverage that members of Congress give themselves. And as someone who watched my mother argue with insurance companies while she lay in bed dying of cancer, I will make certain those companies stop discriminating against those who are sick and need care the most. Now is the time to help families with paid sick days and better family leave, because nobody in America should have to choose between keeping their jobs and caring for a sick child or ailing parent. Now is the time to change our bankruptcy laws, so that your pensions are protected ahead of CEO bonuses; and the time to protect Social Security for future generations. And now is the time to keep the promise of equal pay for an equal day's work, because I want my daughters to have exactly the same opportunities as your sons. Now, many of these plans will cost money, which is why I've laid out how I'll pay for every dime, by closing corporate loopholes and tax havens that don't help America grow. But I will also go through the federal budget, line by line, eliminating programs that no longer work and making the ones we do need work better and cost less because we cannot meet 21st century challenges with a 20th century bureaucracy. And Democrats, we must also admit that fulfilling America's promise will require more than just money. It will require a renewed sense of responsibility from each of us to recover what John F. Kennedy called our "intellectual and moral strength." Yes, government must lead on energy independence, but each of us must do our part to make our homes and businesses more efficient. Yes, we must provide more ladders to success for young men who fall into lives of crime and despair. But we must also admit that programs alone can't replace parents; that government can't turn off the television and make a child do her homework; that fathers must take more responsibility for providing the love and guidance their children need. Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility — that's the essence of America's promise. And just as we keep our keep our promise to the next generation here at home, so must we keep America's promise abroad. If John McCain wants to have a debate about who has the temperament, and judgment, to serve as the next commander in chief, that's a debate I'm ready to have. For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just "muddle through" in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell, but he won't even go to the cave where he lives. And today, as my call for a time frame to remove our troops from Iraq has been echoed by the Iraqi government and even the Bush administration, even after we learned that Iraq has a $79 billion surplus while we're wallowing in deficits, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal to end a misguided war. That's not the judgment we need. That won't keep America safe. We need a president who can face the threats of the future, not keep grasping at the ideas of the past. You don't defeat a terrorist network that operates in 80 countries by occupying Iraq. You don't protect Israel and deter Iran just by talking tough in Washington. You can't truly stand up for Georgia when you've strained our oldest alliances. If John McCain wants to follow George Bush with more tough talk and bad strategy, that is his choice, but it is not the change we need. We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don't tell me that Democrats won't defend this country. Don't tell me that Democrats won't keep us safe. The Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered the legacy that generations of Americans — Democrats and Republicans have built, and we are here to restore that legacy. As commander in chief, I will never hesitate to defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm's way with a clear mission and a sacred commitment to give them the equipment they need in battle and the care and benefits they deserve when they come home. I will end this war in Iraq responsibly and finish the fight against al-Qaida and the Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military to meet future conflicts. But I will also renew the tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons and curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships to defeat the threats of the 21st century: terrorism and nuclear proliferation; poverty and genocide; climate change and disease. And I will restore our moral standing, so that America is once again that last, best hope for all who are called to the cause of freedom, who long for lives of peace, and who yearn for a better future. These are the policies I will pursue. And in the weeks ahead, I look forward to debating them with John McCain. But what I will not do is suggest that the senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other's character and patriotism. The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America, they have served the United States of America. So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first. America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore. We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This, too, is part of America's promise, the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort. I know there are those who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on something larger, something firmer and more honest in our public life is just a Trojan horse for higher taxes and the abandonment of traditional values. And that's to be expected. Because if you don't have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don't have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from. You make a big election about small things. And you know what it's worked before. Because it feeds into the cynicism we all have about government. When Washington doesn't work, all its promises seem empty. If your hopes have been dashed again and again, then it's best to stop hoping, and settle for what you already know. I get it. I realize that I am not the likeliest candidate for this office. I don't fit the typical pedigree, and I haven't spent my career in the halls of Washington. But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the naysayers don't understand is that this election has never been about me. It's been about you. For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past. You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics with the same old players and expect a different result. You have shown what history teaches us that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it, because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time. America, this is one of those moments. I believe that as hard as it will be, the change we need is coming. Because I've seen it. Because I've lived it. I've seen it in Illinois, when we provided health care to more children and moved more families from welfare to work. I've seen it in Washington, when we worked across party lines to open up government and hold lobbyists more accountable, to give better care for our veterans and keep nuclear weapons out of terrorist hands. And I've seen it in this campaign. In the young people who voted for the first time, and in those who got involved again after a very long time. In the Republicans who never thought they'd pick up a Democratic ballot, but did. I've seen it in the workers who would rather cut their hours back a day than see their friends lose their jobs, in the soldiers who re-enlist after losing a limb, in the good neighbors who take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes and the floodwaters rise. This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that's not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores. Instead, it is that American spirit that American promise that pushes us forward even when the path is uncertain; that binds us together in spite of our differences; that makes us fix our eye not on what is seen, but what is unseen, that better place around the bend. That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours, a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot. And it is that promise that forty five years ago today, brought Americans from every corner of this land to stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln's Memorial, and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream. The men and women who gathered there could've heard many things. They could've heard words of anger and discord. They could've been told to succumb to the fear and frustration of so many dreams deferred. But what the people heard instead, people of every creed and color, from every walk of life, is that in America, our destiny is inextricably linked. That together, our dreams can be one. "We cannot walk alone," the preacher cried. "And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back." America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise, that American promise, and in the words of Scripture, hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

2,200 Jobs and HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of DOLLARS

evilgrrl — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:10:38 GMT

Whaddya know? It occurred to someone else too! http://www.gaylesbiantimes.com/?id=12433 Same-sex marriage ruling could boost California’s ailing economy Marriages to generate 2,200 jobs and millions in tax revenue for state Published Thursday, 19-Jun-2008 in issue 1069 SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – The flowers have been selected, the Veterans’ Memorial Center has been booked, and the three-piece band has been chosen. The e-invitations have gone out and relatives are flying in. The brides – and there will be two of them – might not have time to buy something new to wear, but that’s OK. Shelly Bailes and Ellen Pontac, who have been together for 34 years, do not want to wait a day longer than necessary to tie the knot now that California’s Supreme Court has legalized same-sex marriage. They had five weeks to plan a June 21 reception for 250 people. “We should have been ready, but we weren’t,” Pontac said with a laugh. “We are taking care of all the details we can, and no matter what happens, we know we will have good company and good music and food and drink.” The same-sex marriage ruling could give a big, sudden boost to California’s sputtering economy, as thousands of same-sex couples from across the nation are expected to converge on the state when the decision took effect Tuesday. Hotels, restaurants, florists and other wedding services are reporting a flurry of business. “The good news for California is that in the face of probably the worst budget problems the state has ever faced, the LGBT wedding industry is going to be a financial shot in the arm,” said Jeffrey Prang, mayor of West Hollywood, a popular destination for gay travelers in Southern California. A study issued last week by UCLA’s Williams Institute for Sexual Orientation and the Law projected that gay men and lesbians will spend $684 million on cakes, photographers and other services over the next three years unless voters reverse the high court’s ruling in the fall. The researchers found that about half of the state’s more than 100,000 same-sex couples will get married during the next three years, and an additional 68,000 out-of-state couples will travel to California to exchange vows. The study estimated that over that period, same-sex weddings will generate $64 million in tax revenue for the state, $9 million in marriage-license fees for counties, and some 2,200 jobs. Rena Puebla, who makes wedding-cake figures that can be customized to come in bride-bride and groom-groom pairs, said she has gone from selling 50 a day to 150 since the May 15 ruling. “It’s unbelievable,” said Puebla, whose Costa Mesa company, Renellie International, sells the cake toppers online. “People are just so excited that there’s something like this out there for them.” Puebla’s company designs a variety of single figurines and then pairs them according to the customer’s wishes. Some bride figurines come in a tailored skirt and tuxedo jacket instead of a big gown. “People can do whatever they want because it’s not already stuck together,” Puebla said. The possibility that the window for weddings could close after the November election – when a constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage will appear on the ballot – has added to the rush to wed. Also, the prospect of getting hitched in a hurry became even more inviting when New York state announced recently that it would recognize same-sex marriages performed in California and other jurisdictions. Unlike Massachusetts, the only other state where same-sex couples can wed, California does not have a residency requirement for marriage licenses. Gay-friendly destinations such as West Hollywood, Palm Springs and San Francisco are not the only places saying “We do” to couples planning long-awaited weddings. The California Travel and Tourism Commission posted a special gay wedding page on its Web site last week listing spots in Napa County, Yosemite National Park and comparatively conservative Orange County that are offering wedding and honeymoon packages. For the first time on June 10 the Golden Gate Business Association, a gay and lesbian chamber of commerce in San Francisco, held a same-sex wedding expo featuring bakers, videographers and other service providers. Among them was Rom Silvas, a salesman for Simayof, a jewelry store that was offering 40 percent off to couples who register to participate in a mass in-store wedding ceremony scheduled for June 26. “I just sold two rings yesterday to two ladies who are getting married,” Silvas said. Asked who was officiating at the promotional wedding, he said, “We’re not sure yet.” Susannah Layton was at the expo, too, celebrating the launch of her new same-sex wedding Web site, MyQueerWedding.com. Layton and two partners had been thinking about creating the site for some time, but switched into hyperdrive when the court’s decision came down. So far, she has 35 advertisers – “cakes and caterers to tuxedos and limos. And we definitely are looking to expand,” Layton said. Brian Siewert, co-owner of the Sonoma Orchid Inn in Guerneville, a small town in Sonoma County wine country, said the region is already home to a lot of gay-owned and gay-operated businesses, including his own, which he runs with his partner. “We’ve always had honeymoon getaways here in the Russian River Valley, but it’s really nice that now they will be gay honeymoons this time,” he said. Pontac said that she is having a lot of fun planning her wedding and that the rush has made certain decisions – such as what to serve – a little easier. “It’s amazing how when you have no time, it’s ‘Anything but gorgonzola is fine,”” she said.

Gay Marriage: The Economic Impact on California

evilgrrl — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:38:58 GMT

Okay, surely I and my friends are not the only people who have thought about this. California is going to be one of a very few number of states in the US where a gay couple can get married, AND we do not have a residency requirement. I foresee a lot of money flowing into our state, as people from all over the country come here to get married. They are going to spend money on transportation, lodging, food, and all kinds of things. Some people are going to have the wedding they've always wanted, and will be inviting friends and family members to the wedding. A lot of people are going to combine this with a vacation, and spend even more money here. I am completely in favor of gay marriage because I support equality, but for people who don't, have you thought about the financial possibilities? Gay people's money is just as green as everyone else's!

Great Interview with Jenny Block on Open Marriage / Polyamory

evilgrrl — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 06:53:06 GMT

Great interview with Jenny Block, who just wrote a book on open marriage/polyamory. Her actual website is: http://www.jennyonthepage.com/index.html Three's Company: Jenny Block Q&A (5/21/2008) A former Richmond writer lets the world in on her (not so) dirty little secret Jenny Block is a writer who didn’t have to look far for compelling material. Her new book, Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, chronicles her private struggle to find common ground between conventional marriage and her own, less conventional sexual identity. After much emotional trial and error, Block and her husband agreed on an arrangement that kept them happily married: she would have a girlfriend. Though the real-life love story sometimes reads like a blend of Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City and The L Word, it becomes clear that all the risqué drama leads to domestic bliss. Ultimately, the 37-year-old Block’s message is that marriage comes in all sizes and shapes. Hers just happens to be a triangle. Q: At what point did you feel the need to write about your private life? A: About three years ago, I started searching the Internet and bookstores trying to find some information for myself. I wasn’t finding what I was looking for, but I was finding a lot of people out in the cyber-universe who were having conversations about these relationships and searching the same way I was. There were a lot of negatives out there that didn’t seem to be based in any kind of fact. So, even though it was scary, it seemed like there was something to be gained by putting a sort of girl-next-door face on something that I think is very natural and normal and average. Q: How did your husband and then-girlfriend feel about it? A: They were really supportive, and that’s what pushed me over the edge. My husband is very shy and quiet and totally the opposite of me, so if he was supporting me in it, then I felt really good about it. Q: How do you handle the situation with your daughter? A: It’s such a non-issue, because at her age [9 years old], she doesn’t really know anything about sex, and she doesn’t have any understanding that a lot of people connect marriage with sex or that there’s this rule about loving only one person. In her life, she loves lots of people. So that makes sense to her. We’ve always had people over. Whatever “best friend” I’ve had at the time has always come and hung out. She wouldn’t know the difference between any person’s roles. I liken it to other people’s private sexual lives and the way they keep it private from their children. Q: What did your parents think? A: My dad is a rabbi, and he’s very liberal and open. We’ve always talked about everything, but not sex in particular. But I came to my dad with this the same way I go to him for everything. I went to him on an intellectual level and said, “I need to know what you think about non-monogamous relationships.” He said, “I think they’re much more natural and more people would like to have them.” So I knew I was in a good spot. And when I told him, he couldn’t be any more unfazed. My mom’s only reaction was, “Just make sure you’re all talking and communicating and that everyone is happy and on the same page.” Q: What’s the trickiest part of focusing on two people in a relationship? A: I guess it’s the same as any kind of juggling — two jobs, two things to write, two children. In some ways I feel like I’m a better partner because I’m a hypersensitive partner. I cannot be careless with either of them. There’s too much at stake. I thought one partner was more difficult. This just seems to make sense to me. I understand that not everybody gets that, and I appreciate that. I don’t think this is for everyone, and I’m not prescribing it for other people. Yes, it’s hard. Is it any harder than a monogamous relationship? I think all relationships between human beings are tough. Q: Since you’ve decided to be exclusive with your girlfriend and your husband, do you think the term “open marriage” still applies? A: I wish I knew. The language is one of the biggest problems. When I first started talking about this open marriage, people were like, “Oh, you’re swingers? You go to sex parties?” And I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa … OK, we are obviously not down with the lingo.” We’re not saying what we mean to be saying. Is it still appropriate? I don’t know. I use it for lack of a better word. There was a book in the ’70s, called Open Marriage, by a couple, the O’Neills. Two pages in that book talk about sex. What they were [mostly] talking about was maintaining your individuality, being open and honest with each other. So I’d like to think we’re part of that “open marriage” movement. There are people who have all these interesting permutations of who they have romantic love relationships with, who they have family partnering relationships with and who they have sexual relationships with … It’s people trying to figure out something that people have been trying to figure out since the dawn of time, which is how to live and be happy and navigate relationships and sex and love — all the hardest and best parts of life. Q: Do you identify with the gay community? A: One hundred percent. I hate all the boxes and identifying, but if you ask me, I say I’m bisexual. I wrote the book in a gay coffee shop. You know, the gay community figured this stuff out a long time ago. In some ways because gays and lesbians can’t get married, that community has made up their own rules. If you’re not “allowed” to do traditional marriage, then “What is this relationship? How do we define it? What does this mean?” Q: Your arrangement seems to scare some people. What do you think they’re afraid of? A: I think they’re afraid of a couple things. Remember when you were in elementary school and you would chew a piece of gum in class? That one girl who always sat in the front row would catch you, and she’d tell on you. I remember thinking, “Why do you have to tell on me? I wasn’t bothering you. I wasn’t bothering anybody.” It’s almost like, “If I have to follow the rules and be miserable, then so do you.” And that makes me really sad. I think some people are so indoctrinated with their religion or morality or whatever [that] if they let go of that for one split second, their entire universe would come tumbling down. I mean, imagine if I’m on to something. Imagine if I’m “right.” What would that mean? —Pete Humes http://www.richmondmagazine.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=news&mod=News&mid=9A02E3B96F2A415ABC72CB5F516B4C10&tier=3&nid=BEBEC0BA54214E1DA53ED1FA4D959622

The Day After Pride

evilgrrl — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:56:01 GMT

by Jesse Monteagudo "The Day After Pride" Many of you will be reading this article after one of this month's many Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Pride events. First established to commemorate the Stonewall Rebellion of June 27-28, 1969, GLBT (or LGBT) Pride is now observed worldwide as a community-wide celebration that unites all genders, races, classes and lifestyles. By taking part in Pride events, we assert who we, as individuals and as a people. We contribute all that is good in us to Pride events and in return Pride makes us feel good about ourselves and others like us. In short, Pride is a tremendous morale boost and an antidote to self-hatred and internalized heterosexism and homophobia. Unfortunately, Pride events are usually followed by all-too real and not very proud reality. After Pride ends, we must return to a world that hates us as much as it did before Pride began. Back in the eighties, bad news always seemed to follow a Pride celebration. As if mounting AIDS casualties weren't bad enough, Pride Month 1986 ended with the now-infamous Bowers v. Hardwick Supreme Court decision (since overturned by Lawrence v. Texas). The 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights (which was itself a Pride event writ large) was soon followed by Senate approval of one of then-Senator Jesse Helms's notorious amendments that would have banned federal assistance for gay or AIDS groups. Pride Month won't keep AIDS from killing us, bashers from hurting us, or bigots from trying to send us back into our closets. While the enemy remains at large after Pride ends, many of us go into hiding. All the energy that we acquired during Pride seems to disappear as too many of us return to our closets after the last Sunday in June. But Pride should be a year-round event, not one that is limited to a certain period of time. I admit that it is natural and essential to rest after an overly-active week or month of celebration; in order to recharge our batteries, relax and enjoy ourselves. But GLBT and questioning kids continue to take their own lives; gay and bisexual men (and others) continue to test HIV positive; queers everywhere continue to suffer from hate crimes and antigay violence; and folks like the Rev. Fred Phelps continue to make life hard for us. Therefore, it is important that we keep the spirit of Pride alive long after Pride is over. Let Pride be not an end but a beginning. For some of us, the annual Pride events are our only contact with the rest of our community, our Family of Pride. But do not wait until next year for your next contact. Let the goals of Pride Month be your goals for life: 1. TAKE PRIDE IN YOURSELF. Internalized homophobia is still a part of our lives. "Ex-gay" groups prey on those of us who still accept what straight society taught us. Do not let yourselves fall into that trap. Nor should you let confusion and self-hatred lead you into addictive behaviors, unsafe sex, loneliness or suicide. There are many individuals and groups that can help. 2. COME OUT. If all the lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender and intersex people who "come out" for Pride Month remain out, society would surely have to notice. Studies show that "straights" who know GLBT people tend to be less homophobic than those who don't. Though announcing our sexual orientation might not be right for all of us -- I wouldn't recommend it to U.S. military personnel, Roman Catholic priests or Scientologist actors -- being honest with our loved ones seldom hurts and usually improves our relationships. And if the person in question turns you off because you are LesBiGay or Trans, more often than not that person is not worth relating to at all. 3. HELP A FRIEND IN NEED. As the Jewish sage Hillel observed, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself alone, what am I? If not now, when?" Closely linked to taking Pride in ourselves is taking pride in our sisters and brothers. If you know someone who's in a life-threatening situation -- whether it be AIDS, cancer, substance abuse, threatened suicide, domestic violence, homelessness or hopelessness -- give them a helping hand, always remembering that they, too, have their Pride. If you don't know anyone who needs help (though I find it hard to believe that you don't), volunteer to help at your local AIDS organization, battered women's home, homeless shelter or community center. There is enough Pride to go around. 4. BE A PART OF YOUR "FAMILY OF PRIDE". It is impossible to take part in Pride events without encountering a variety of community organizations. They serve a variety of purposes, not the least of which is the reassurance that we are not alone. There are literally thousands of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and AIDS-service organizations in the United States and Canada, all of which translate into thousands of reasons that we can proud. Surely there are, among all those groups, at least one that you can call your own. By joining such a group, you will get involved in activities that you enjoy, meet like-minded people and help make our world a better place to live in. 5. BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION. I don't have to remind you that we live in a tough world. Things are not easy for us, and things might get worse if we don't watch out. As the saying goes, if we are not part of the solution we are part of the problem. Let us make Pride work for us, by fighting for our lives and for our rights. There is a variety of activist groups that can use your political energies, from those that work within the system to more aggressive, "in your face" entities. If you feel you don't have time for active involvement, then vote, write, phone or e-mail your elected officials and make a financial contribution to your local LGBT or gay-friendly organization. All of this should keep the adrenalin flowing and the Pride growing throughout the coming year. Let lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Pride be more than just a slogan. In the words of the openly gay folk singer Charlie Murphy, we must "love life enough to struggle." Working together, we can make a difference. Jesse Monteagudo is a freelance writer and gay activist who lives in South Florida. Reach him at jessemonteagudo@ aol.com. (Posted with the author's permission) ------------ --------- ---------

Being Gay: Nature vs. Nurture - 60 Minutes Reports

evilgrrl — Fri, 16 May 2008 00:34:01 GMT

With gay marriage in the news in California, I thought I'd post a link to a website with some clips from "60 Minutes" about extreme childhood gender non-conformity and being gay. I'm not so sure about the relationship between how you self-identify your gender and your sexual orientation, but some of the experts 60 Minutes consulted thinks there is a correlation. Regardless of whether there is or not, here is some fascinating information on gender dysphoria and on homosexuality. http://60minutes. yahoo. com/segment/68/gay_or_straight

Religious Political Extremists Attack The Task Force for "Leather Leadership Award"

evilgrrl — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:15:48 GMT

NCSF Action Alert Religious political extremists attack The Task Force for "Leather Leadership Award" February 13, 2008 - The American Family News Network posted an inflammatory article condemning the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force for honoring Guy Baldwin with their Leather Leadership Award at the 20th National Conference on LGBT Equality: Creating Change, on February 6-10, 2008 (http://www.thetaskf orce.org). According to the February 7th article: Peter LaBarbera, executive director of Americans for Truth commented that he is not sure if he is more surprised by one of the sponsors of the event or by one of the activists who will be honored. "It's incredible to me," he continues. "But the Democratic Party is endorsing an event where they're actually presenting an award for sadomasochism. " A sponsorship acknowledgement notes that the Democratic National Committee gave at least $2,500 to help pay for the event. The recipient of the "Leather Leadership Award" is Guy Baldwin, a psychotherapist who has successfully lobbied against treating sadomasochism as a mental health problem. To see the entire article, go to: http://www.onenewsn ow.com/Culture/ Default.aspx? id=66629 In point of fact, the Democratic National Committee did not sponsor Creating Change or the Leather Leadership Award. The Task Force does have a strong history of supporting the BDSM-leather- fetish communities. In previous years, this included awarding their Leather Leadership Award to Dave Rhodes of The Leather Journal and Tony DeBlase, creator of the Leather Pride Flag, as well as providing tracks and roundtables for activists dedicated to leather community issues. "Those who persecute our communities know that The Task Force and the BDSM-leather- fetish communities have shared agendas in promoting tolerance and non-discrimination for sexual minorities, including those involved in alternate lifestyles. We grow stronger the more we stand together," says NCSF Spokesperson Susan Wright. From Guy Balwin's acceptance speech for the Leather Leadership Award at Creating Change: "One of the many reasons it is important for The Task Force to be sending these signals of acknowledgement and legitimacy out to the LGBTIQQ world is that when our enemies in the struggle for self-determination look in our direction, they can't see the amazing diversity represented in a room like this one. No, to our enemies, we all look the same. They make none of the distinctions that we, ourselves, have made. To our enemies, garbage is garbage, no matter what color we are.....how old we are.....how we smell, or how we play. And that's just one reason it's important that we build bridges between our diverse communities and that's why this award to me today matters to all our communities. But the effort to build these bridges will be wasted unless they are vigilantly maintained from both sides." - Guy Baldwin We ask you to send a short note of appreciation to the Task Force: Roberta Sklar, Communications Director National Gay and Lesbian Task Force rsklar@thetaskforce .org Dear Ms. Sklar, Thank you for your recognition and inclusion of the BDSM-leather- fetish communities in your annual conference, Creating Change. The Leather Caucus and workshops on alternative sexuality have been very important to the LGBT members of our communities, providing a place where we can gather with our peers and discuss activist issues. I congratulate you on choosing to give your Leather Leadership Award this year to Guy Baldwin for his activist efforts on behalf of the leather community. I proudly support The Task Force and am glad to join together on our common and shared goals of equality for all Americans. Sincerely, (your name) ### Guy Baldwin is a Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, author and activist on behalf of "erotically uncommon people." Baldwin may be best known for his monthly essays which appeared in Drummer Magazine and were collected in his 1993 book, Ties That Bind. Baldwin is a former titleholder, having served in 1989 as Mister National Leather Association and also as the 11th International Mr. Leather. In 1987, Baldwin launched the DSM Project to mobilize mental health professionals worldwide to press for changes to the official clinical definitions that had long been use to label leather people, gay and otherwise, as pathological. The DSM Project succeeded with the publication of new and substantially improved language in 1993 in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is a national organization committed to creating a political, legal, and social environment in the United States that advances equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression. NCSF is primarily focused on the rights of consenting adults in the SM-leather-fetish, swing, and polyamory communities, who often face discrimination because of their sexual expression. National Coalition for Sexual Freedom 822 Guilford Avenue, Box 127 Baltimore, MD 21202-3707 410-539-4824 media@ncsfreedom. org http://www.ncsfreed om.org

Simone of Exquisite Restraint Interviewed in Eros-Zine this Month!

evilgrrl — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 23:15:35 GMT

One of our (okay, MY) favorite vendors, Simone of Extreme Restraint, was featured this month in Eros-Zine: http://www.eros-la.com/articles/2007-10-16/exquisite_restraint/ Go to the article itself to see the yummy corsets. Most people agree that there's just something really sexy about the wasped outline of a corseted body. It's one of those universally accepted icons of the ideal feminine form dating back to the Victorian era. With its tight lacing and reinforced shapers (known as "boning") underneath the fabrics, it was no surprise that corsets quickly became de rigueur in fetish wear for both women and men. Many who have been fortunate enough to wear a corset get addicted the instant they experience that incredible feeling of being tightly cinched in and seeing their waistline disappear. For the more advanced addicts such as myself, stepping up to a custom fitted corset can usually cinch further inches off my waist without the added penalty of bruised ribs, unlike typical off the rack corsets. In the world of high end corset design, Exquisite Restraint ranks up there as one of the more respected lines. I first met Simone, the owner and designer of Exquisite Restraint, backstage at a fashion show. Within five minutes of our introduction, Simone was in the dressing room ripping my clothes off, and on her knees lacing me into some sky high platform boots… no, it's not what you think! She was helping out another company that I was just one of the models for. But while one would think that it's this kind of unique interaction that developed our friendship, it was really her no nonsense approach when dealing with the models that left a lasting impression on me. I figured that it takes a truly talented person to successfully herd a group of cackling models as well as she did. Over the years, we've remained friends, but it wasn't until recently that I actually wore one of her custom fitted corsets, this time in an Exquisite Restraint fashion show. After the show, I kept the corset on because it was so comfortable, and its tailored detail soon became the topic of many conversations with other guests at the event. Recently, I was able to pull my friend away from her sketch pad and sewing machine to answer some questions for Eros Zine. Vena: What was the worst job you had before you became a successful designer? Simone: I've been pretty fortunate. I was a cake decorator in college so it saved me from the dreaded retail or waiting tables. Then, after tons of college, I was able to break into the puppet and specialty costume field in Hollywood , so I think I've been very, very fortunate. Of course, I'm not leaving Los Angeles any time soon because I've just barely wet my feet in the Fetish, BDSM and Adult communities as a corsetmaker! Vena: How did you get started designing corsets? I mean, it's not exactly a traditional garment like say… a dress or skirt. Simone: I started out as a theatre person. I got my degrees in theatre costume design, and anyone from that world knows exactly what I'm talking about. All theatres have costume stock, some of it very old, and you get to have tons of fun with period costumes and corsets. So if it's not your parents' porn stash, it's usually theatre that exposes you to corsets, and that's the beginning of the end. Once I knew how to make them, I also saw a lot of other companies on the internet doing some very wonderful things with corsets. In 2001 I made the plunge, and with the help of a friend from Girl Talk magazine, I launched the website. I could see that corsets were not only traditional fetishwear, but also making their way back into runway fashions and the mainstream. I actually figured they be done by 2005, but they've only gotten more and more popular. Vena: Do you draw inspiration from other designers or artists and if so, tell us a little about this. Simone: Most of the time I'm working hard to make my corsets not look like anyone else's! I will be honest and tell you that if I get a hold of Vogue or Bazaar, I'm usually tearing out pages for inspiration and reminders of little things to try on my corsets. Fashion is just so inspirational right now. Designers are having their pattern makers break a lot of the fit rules and create some exciting shapes that would have been considered "ugly" at any other time. Superficially, it looks like a lot of designers are just dumping their scrap basket out all over their line and you get some kitschy trimmings and accents that are so arts and craftsy, which used to be a big no-no in art and fashion. Remember the crocheted doll that Grandma had on the extra roll of toilet paper? Somehow that's not so funny now……… or maybe that's just me. Maybe if the doll is made of black yarn and is holding a whip! Vena: You've designed some of the most beautiful corsets I have ever seen. Has there been a particular piece that is your personal favorite? Simone: My green Post-Modern Period corset. It's my own pattern that I created by mixing a few time periods. The frilly decorations over the bust are actually an old quilting technique, circles of fabric called "yo-yo's." Vena: Your corsets have long been known predominantly amongst many well known fetish models and performers and you've often said that you'd rather be around a long time than short term fame. How do you see Exquisite Restraint in 5 years? Simone: Selling more corsets! I want to find a way to do more wholesale and keep all the manufacturing here in America , but I have the fear that corsets just won't look the same if my hand isn't involved. I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to that. The things that people respond to are the things I work hard to do, like beautiful stitching; a certain size and proportion to seams and boning size that is pleasing to my eye, and obviously others; choices in trim and decoration that not only avoid the typical white lace trim around the top, but also push the envelope, like all the beading I do. Also, every corset company has their own "fit model" that they have graded all their patterns from. I believe people are really responding to the fit and shape of my corsets, which is different from some of the companies that have been around forever. It's really similar to shopping for jeans or bras -- you're going to find a brand that makes you happy. I think I'm making a lot of people happy. Vena: Your designs have cinched the bodies of countless well known artists and performers. Has there been a personality that you would love to design a corset or outfit for but haven't yet? Simone: Fakir Musafar!!!! I feel a bit more of a kinship to the tattooed and body mods community, and I think Fakir's life story has influenced so many people, including myself. Because he's pursued and practiced so many venues of body modification, he's also patterned and made corsets to change his own waist. It would be an honor to see him wearing my corset. Vena: You've also designed corsets for men and the transgender community. What are some of the differences between the corsets that you design for genetic women, men, and transgender folk? Simone: Well, as many TG ladies know, their waist is a little bigger, and their hips are smaller, than genetic women. I know a lot of TG ladies and crossdressers add hip padding in order to wear clothing made for women. My corsets can take it a step further and actually nip in the waist to help them create a feminine hourglass. Whether a transgendered woman has gone through a full medical sex change or not, she knows that her ribcage is shaped differently from genetic women, and there's not much you can do about it. The best thing is to nip in the fleshy love handles and she finds skirts and pants just fit so much better. My TG Underbust is patterned to help with this illusion, and fits smoothly over the ribcage. I've taken the time to pattern it differently over the male (or formerly- male) ribcage. The main objective is to nip in that waist without having the corset fit badly over the hips and ribs, and I accomplish that. For men who aren't crossdressing, I think tightlacing and a nipped in waist are less important. I think the subversive aspect of appropriating female dress and doing some gender bending is what rocker dudes and goth guys are after. A corset on them really works like some sort of cyber armor, or has a BDSM aspect. Even Prince has a corset on over a dress shirt on his latest album cover, and we all know where Prince is coming from! Vena: Are there any fabrics/materials that you prefer to work with over others? Simone: I'm sticking with fabrics, versus leather, latex or pvc. Frankly, I'm not interested in learning how to work with those other materials because there are so many great companies out there. I could concentrate on working in fabrics for the rest of my life and not exhaust the possibilities. Leather is a different animal, pun intended, and I commend the people who have learned how to work and manipulate it, as have the latex artists out there. Vena: I always envision designers toiling away late at night under a work lamp. Has your best work usually the result of bursts of creativity or constant drudging through set hours? Simone: Well, for one thing, I've learned my lesson with pulling all-nighters and procrastinating! I'm the farthest thing from the stereotype of the drama queen artist! I really think it's best to give a project time, even if it's just to percolate, plan and research before you even take pencil to paper or cut that first piece of fabric. But yes, there's a point where my corsets become straight-up manufacturing for me. I will be sitting at the sewing machine, just running the pieces of fabric through it. You gotta take the boring with the fabulous because in the end, it's all worth it. Vena: You have a very commendable philosophy about your couture line vs foreign or sweat shop mass production. Has this affected your ability to expand as a designer? Simone: Yes, I think so. Even in the small world of Fetishwear and BDSM gear, I think the more successful corset companies are "manufacturing," meaning they have at least a few employees to make all the corsets. And this is great because it means they got that wholesale order at a retail store. That's the brass ring…….. or the other extreme is to deliver such a luscious high-end item that you can survive on the custom orders. I have a feeling I'm this second extreme. And then there's the truly mass-produced corsets, which are 100's of units at at time (that's retail talk) and have to be manufactured overseas where the labor is cheaper. Sorry, but I can't contribute to that, for a world of reasons. I have a lot in common with someone who makes a living at a sewing machine in the manufacturing-heavy countries, and I wish things weren't the way they were. I wish the demand for cheap goods wasn't so high that so many people work cheaply, and get mistreated. Having my corsets made in another country would not necessarily help people in that country. But having my corsets made by employees in America helps create jobs for Americans. Vena: We often hear about Whale Boning vs Steel Boning vs Plastic Boning. Can you explain the differences of each? Simone: Ok, here's your history lesson, and one I love giving. Whale boning is a historical item and went out of use when Steel boning was invented. Whale boning is not actually made from the bones of the whale, but from the baleen of certain whales…….. baleen is the stuff hanging in the whale's mouth that resembles the pieces of palm tree that end up on Los Angeles streets on a windy day. I'm not kidding! Baleen grew in sheets in the whale's mouth and was split like reed or cane…. Think wicker bedroom furniture! Steel boning came into use with the industrial revolution. The making of spring steel was an innovation and was made into the flat ribbons of steel put into the seams of corsets. So by the mid 1800's, whale boning was out the door! Plastic Boning is a great example of Better Living Through Chemistry, but not for corset wearers. It's fine for the silly Valentine's bustier you got at the mall, or your prom dress, but (cue Faye Dunaway's Mommy Dearest) never, ever, ever for a Corset! Vena: Jean Paul Gaultier made a very big splash in the 80's with his fetish inspired line. Last year John Galliano showed his models looking like cyber warrior-Dommes (my own description!) in buckles, straps, and cinchers. Some purists scoff at this while others think it's wonderful. What are your thoughts on this? Simone: I love seeing fetish wear make an appearance in the mainstream! It leads to discussion and dialogue, and hopefully a more open interest in what is or isn't sexy…….. and it leads to more fetishwear customers! If people like what they are seeing on the runway, they will work hard to find those items, and seek out what makes them feel sexy, dominant, submissive or whatever their flavor is. I can't imagine how many fetish and BDSM newbies there are because they've seen fetish-inspired fashion in a magazine, the internet or television. Only a couple of decades ago, this was the stuff of plain brown packages and no Frederick 's in the mall! Vena: Since the Victorian era, corsetry has seen very small changes with the advent of new fabrics and materials. What revolutionary changes do you predict for corsetry in the near future? Simone: Wow, I actually think with the direction fashion is going, corsets look like the farthest thing from new innovations. For one thing, the 20th Century can be personified for all of its technological innovations in stretch fabrics and magic fabrics- been there, done that. I think currently, fashion is utilizing things like spandex, but hiding it in very classic designs. At the same time, I think corsets are going the way of the Steam Punk movement, and will work hard to create the illusion of being historically old and from an older time period. There is the occasional designer who will attempt to create shiny cyber-looking corsets, or someone like Issey Miyake who will make them from molded plastic, but I think corsets retain their novelty and excitement by being the "natural" element of a person's wardrobe, no matter how many metal buckles, raver dayglo, bells and whistles they have on them. Of course, by next week, I will be proven wrong and someone will invent Terminator 2 clothing that you pour on your body! Vena: What advice would you give somebody who's shopping for their first corset? Simone: Firstly, know that the median price for a good corset is $350 to $500, or more. It's an investment, but it's worth it…… frankly, I think it makes the corset wearer stand out from the designer handbag set! Secondly, take time to try on different brands of corsets, getting measured and fitted properly. I find that a lot of corset wearers are also involved in some sort of costume play or creation, and corsets are a quick study for them. Once someone wants a corset, it's like wanting a tattoo- you get your first, and you've joined the club. People should take the time to find out what a corset feels like and which brand is best for them- just like bra or jeans shopping. Sometimes the only way to do that is take the plunge and buy that first corset. Vena: Finally, what are some common misconceptions about corsetry that you'd like to correct? Simone: That they are uncomfortable. That's something the individual wearer will have to combat by choosing a well-fitting corset and deciding what the corset is intended for. Maybe discomfort is what they are after, and that's a personal decision. Not all modern corsetry is intended to permanently modify the waist and ribcage, like women did in the Victorian era. Modern tightlacers have a goal in mind, and by tightening slowly, over time, they still aren't experiencing a lot of discomfort. Secondly, corsets are not only fetishwear or lingerie. Right now is the time of the abs, the core, and the midriff is the erogenous zone. I think corsets definitely have a place as streetwear and on top of wardrobe items, such as fitted dresses, slip dressed, with tailored trousers, and jeans. It takes an iconoclastic person to pull it off, but they look hot when they do! Information about Exquisite Restraint Corsets is available at their official website, exquisiterestraint.com.

Top Ten Reasons to Go to Carnal Carnival

evilgrrl — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:43:09 GMT

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO CARNAL CARNIVAL 10. To see if people in the community have any clothes that aren't black. 9. To see just how far the No Nudity rule will be enforced. 8. To watch people accidentally hitting themselves in the head at the whip throwing booth. 7. To make juvenile jokes about the erotic baked goods. 6. To see if Mr. Carnal Carnival wants the crown, or plans to fight it out for the tiara with Ms. Carnal Carnival. 5. To find out how many cigarettes Tim can smoke during a 6 hour period. 4. To see if we can duct tape Carlos to the wall again, even though he’s not the Coordinator any more. 3. Talk your friends into getting pierced. 2. To see if Alan has found a new way to hurt himself. 1. To talk Ms. D. into lube wresting. The REAL Top Ten Reasons to Go to Carnal Carnival: 10. Tasting the delicious naughty baked goods. 9. Buy toys made by Threshold members. 8. Watch erotic bondage by Charley B. 7. A chance to win the Mr. and Mrs. Carnal Carnival Contest! 6. See the latest remodel of the Clubhouse. 5. Prizes, prizes, prizes! 4. To meet new kinky people. 3. The spanking booth: New and improved, now with both Tops and bottoms! 2. To show off your kinky costume. 1. To attend the play party following the Carnival! Threshold’s 3rd Annual Carnal Carnival will be this Saturday, August 26, from noon to 6 PM, with a play party to follow. Tickets are $10 per person, which buys you ten tickets to participate in the carnival activities, such as foot rubs, buying cookies and hot dogs, playing pop the condom with darts, enjoying the spanking booth, etc. There are prizes galore too! And a piercing booth! Charly B. will be doing bondage live on stage! Don’t forget to wear your sexiest costume for the Mr. and Ms. Carnal Carnival contest! The carnival will be at: Hollywoodland Studios 11300 Hartland St. (off Tujunga, 1 block north of Van Owen) North Hollywood, CA 91605 Go to the back of the building. The carnival is for people 18 years old or older, and the party is for people 21 and older. Admission to the party is an additional $20. . . unless you buy a combo ticket at the door and save money! Ask about it when you pay! For more information, please contact outreach@threshold.org

Full Body Suspension with Hooks at Threshold

evilgrrl — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:29:42 GMT

I got to see such a wild suspension scene on Friday at Threshold. It was a suspension done with hooks through the flesh! How extreme is THAT? Anyway, it was done as a birthday gift from a bottom to a Dominant. The Dominant laid the bottom face-down on a table, inserted 10 hooks into his back and legs, and connected him to a wench. . . er, winch. heh heh Then she oh-so-slowly gradually began to raise the winch. At first I didn't think they were going to get him in the air at all; I thought the hooks would tear through the skin rather than support the bottom's full weight, but they didn't. Inch by inch, the Domme raised him. . . with his chest up off the table, then his stomach. . . slowly, slowly. . . his lower legs came up into the air. . . then his thighs. . . and then wow! He was totally up off the table! The Domme moved the table away, and the bottom swung himself gently through the air, suspended by the hooks and his own flesh. He did a Superman pose for us, rocked back and forth, side to side, and even all the way around. It was completely awesome!