Decision Made and Other Work-Related Nonsense

I decided not to take the other job.

The pay cut was way too much considering I would have to drive to Grand Prairie.

I would really like to work at the other place but, right now it's just not feasible.

I couldn't negotiate a better hourly rate because I would totally be changing jobs. I would have been working in a shop making something, not in an office answering the phone or doing data entry. I don't have a skill they need to negotiate with so I would have been on the lowest end of the pay scale.

I guess I should have thought about it more before freaking out but, that just would not have been me would it?

In other work related news...The receptionist at work got laid off yesterday...There was not the drama I had expected...I totally expected tears and hysterics but, it didn't happen...I'm really glad because it was hard enough to know how to handle it on my end...I wasn't sure of what to do...I mean was I supposed to let her come to me and say "goodbye" or should I go to her...I've never been in that situation before so I didn't know what I should do...So, of course, I did what I thought was the right thing to do and I went and hugged her...I felt bad for her but, it wasn't me and that's all I could think....The shitty part is I have to move out of my office and one of the other girls gets it...Pleh!!...I love my office...I worked my ass off to get it and to me that office is a symbol of all of my hard work and all of the shit I have tolerated the past 4 1/2 years...Now Pam gets it...I am glad she gets to have a bigger space but, it's my space...I peed in all of the corners and everything.

Oh well, at least I still have a job, right?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Things at the place I work now are really bad. 17 people got laid off last week and more are getting laid off this week. One of the people getting a pink slip is going to directly effect me...I mean I'm glad I know it's not me but, I wish I didn't know who it is...I've known for 2 weeks and it's killing me...I want to tell SOMEONE but, I swore I'd keep my mouth shut...And those who know me know I don't kiss and tell...When it really counts, anyway.

So, now it comes around that I have an opportunity to change jobs.

The biggest pro is benefits, of which I have none at my current job. It would be a Union job so, that is a plus, I think anyway.

But, it is farther from home and I would have to take a very big pay cut at first.

With the way gas prices are and no real relief from that in sight, I just don't know if it is a good move right now.

But, on the other hand, there are benefits like health insurance, 401k, quite a few paid holidays off.

I want to make a decision NOW but Roger is playing cards and I tried to talk to him about it on my way to dance class...Yep, nothing came of it...I feel like if I don't tell them something now, like right this moment, I'll miss the boat and I've already missed an opportunity to work for this company before and I really don't want to miss another one.

Another deal is, if I decide to go ahead with it, do I tell my boss NOW, before the other person gets laid off to maybe save that person from getting laid off or, do I wait until I've got the job in the bag? Cause I would hate to tell them I'm leaving and then not get the job...DUDE...That would be shitty.

I really want to take this job but, I don't want to take a $7.20 pay cut because I don't know how long it will take to make it up.

FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK!!!!

The Pros and Cons of Being Sick

I woke up with an ugly sore throat and hurting ears this morning so I had to miss work...When I was coming home from the doctor's office (I don't like my doctor by the way, but, I can always get in to see him when I call) I got to thinking about the Pros and the Cons of staying home from work sick...So here you go, feel free to add if you feel I've missed something

Pro: You get to stay home on Wednesday.
Con: You are sick.

Pro: You get drugs.
Con: You have to go to the doctor's office to get them.

Pro: Your husband wants to give you something.
Con: It's Dr. Roger's Cure-All Root Medicine.

Pro: You get to spend the day in your jammies.
Con: You have to get dressed to go to the doctor's office. (I hear you on this one...A lot of peeps go out in their jammies...NOT ME....It's like wearing house shoes to the grocery store....TACKY,TACKY, TACKY)

Pro: You get to watch whatever you want on TV.
Con: The satelite you've been pirating from your brother's house has gone out and the hubbie hasn't taken to box back to your brother's house so your brother can call and get the box fixed.

Pro: You can watch movies all day.
Con: Your husband was the last one to go to Blockbuster(this means cowboy movies, boy humor movies, or bloody blowing shit up movies) and you forgot to send the Netflix back.

Pro: You get to sleep all day if you want to.
Con: You slept all day and now it's 3am and you can't sleep...You have to go back to work the next day. The alarm is at 5:30am.

Pro: Popsicles.
Con: You forgot to buy them at the store.

Pro: You get to surf to web as much as you want.
Con: In your surfing adventure, you found out that Kat Von D has her own line of cosmetics from Sephora.

Pro: Uninterrupted internet shopping.
Con: You have no money to buy Kat Von D cosmetics from Sephora. :(

Pro: You get to stay home.
Con: No sick days = no pay.


Pro: Craighead and HouseBoi are old enough that they didn't bitch or drive you crazy.
Con: You are still expected to make dinner.

Pro: You still got to chat with the girls at work.
Con: You still talked to them about work.

Pro: You had all day to figure out how to use your new Blackberry.
Con: You still can't figure the fuckin' thing out.

WOO HOO!!!

After months of no internet...I'm up and running..The dudes were here at noon today...FUCKIN' AWESOME...Is all I can say...I can watch YOUTUBE!!...Sweet!!!

I'm Not Dead...Really I'm Not!

Just in case any of you are wondering, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...I just still have no internet at home...AOL is total crap and I'm trying to get us on a satellite internet thing and it's just taking FOREVER...So please don't be upset that I'm not replying as quickly as usual to comments, etc.

Roger says they will be back on Friday but, I don't believe him...I'm thinking it's going to be more like Saturday or Sunday...Rickey Hill Has joined the madness and is hooking up with them in Albureque (sp?) New Mexico for the final leg of the journey I'm calling "How Roger tested Renee to see if she was really prepared to spend eternity in Hell"...It's been nightmarish...Everything that can go wrong has...Craig, Dillon, and Stephanie (Dillon's girlfriend) were in a car accident...Craig was driving and got rear-ended while trying to leave Scarborough...They are fine... No injuries except to Craig's car..It is totalled...I had to pay some one to fix the lawn mower because Roger didn't do it before he left and the yard was looking severely white-trashy...The brakes on my NEW CAR are freaking out...It's been one retarded thing after another...PLEH!!!!

I appreciate the phone calls and text messages from those of you checking up on me and the boyos...And I have to tell everyone how sorry I am for subjecting you to my whining when you call, text, come by my Pub at the Faire, etc., etc.

This weekend is the last weekend of Scarborough so if you haven't made it out (except Sara) get your lazy ass out there!! We will be open Saturday, Sunday and Monday from 10am 'til 7pm. I think it's $19.99 for adults and I don't know how much for the babies...There are discount coupons at Long John Silver's and hopefully you can get a coupon without having to buy the food...BLECK!!!

The boyos and I will be going to Galveston the first week of June and I plan to hook back up with everyone when we get back...Sorry I haven't seen most of you in so long!

Take care!
Love y'all!!!

Renee

My World News Tonight

Well, not much is really going on...Gearing up for Scarborough...It's taking lots of gearing up this year.

Dillon and his teammates, Colin, Jeremy, and Levy took first place in the Current Events contest at the U.I.L. Competion today. The go to the regional comepetition in Stephenville next...Proud of those boyos.

Craig donated blood for the first time today...Did yo know you only have to be 17 to donate...I was always told you have to be 18...Shows how nuch I know, right?...He donated red blood cells..Twice...He's a big boy...I was very proud of him for realizing how important donating blood is.

Rachel and I performed our first duet at Kismet is Dallas (Carrollton) last weekend...I don't have to be nervous when I dance with her..She freaks out enough for both of us and I get to be calm...We had a great time and have been getting lots of very nice compliments from people...Everyone has been so nice and very receptive to us...We both really appreicate it....She and I will be performing for our Mom's nursing students...She teaches L.V.N. students at the Cleburne campus of Hill County Junior College (a.k.a. Harvard on the Hill)...Mom is teaching a unit more or less, on physical fitness. Her objective is to show her students that there are things you can do other than going to the gym, aerobics, etc to work out...She said she has some bigger girls in her class and wants to show them they can still do stuff for exercise...We are going to tech them a short lesson and then perform our sword duet....Mom was really impressed when we were practicing at her house one day...She has never seen either one of us dance with sword...She likes to watch us dance anyway...She says she just doesn't see how we "wiggle around like that" :)

Over the Easter holiday Dillon decided that Jesus is/was a Zombie...His rationale is as follows: Zombies are people that rise from the dead...Jesus rose from the dead..Therefore, Jesus is/was a Zombie minus the brain sucking and flesh eating...That was just a little too much for him (Jesus) to handle...There was a lot of other stuff that went along with it that I just don't remember...My Mom was not amused...Everyone else thought is was funny...Nanna did not...She should really pull that chocolate bunny out of her butt, or at least break it off at the ears.

Roger's trip is getting closer...YUK!...But I guess I will be pretty busy so the weeks will go by quickly.

This weekend I get to see my friend Tyra dance..I'm very excited for her...She is going to be in a show at the Eismann Center in Richardson...FANCY STUFF!

There is a tattoo convention thing in Dallas...I don't remember where...From the website it didn't look very exciting...But then from my meager experience with tattoo conventions, all they really are is walking around from stall to stall watching people get ink...I couldn't do that..I mean, all of those people and the noise...Bleck.

I will be glad when all of the Easter candy is gone so I will quit eating it! I LOVE EASTER CANDY!!! My favs are Peeps and Reese's Peanutbutter Eggs....MMM MMM MMM! Good stuff Maynard!

My friend Trudi is in Turkey AGAIN...I do feel for her becasue she wasn't really home very long from the last time she was there and her job sent her back. And she has been working horribly long hours with no real fun...AND she didn't get to see me and the Rachie dance...BOO!...But at least she gets to be tired and crabby in Turkey!

Well, I guess that about wraps it up for this report...Please stop by the King's Pub at Scarborough Faire and see me...This pub has Peach Belenis...YUMO!!!

Namaste!

Where I Come From

My feet are cold...My arms are cold...I'm cold all over...Oh, yeah and I have CRAMPS!

I hate the cold...It makes me hurt all over and I can't ever seem to get warm.

When I was a kid we lived in a 1970 something model single wide trailer house. There was no central heat or air and the windows were the kind you had to crank open. We had 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, no doors on any of the rooms and 9 people.

We lived between Venus and Maypearl and we moved there when I was in the 3rd grade. There were very few people who lived where we did.

When the wind blew, it would catch the windows on the house and open them and then they would slam shut so, Daddy would duct tape them shut and we would put plastic over them to help keep the cold out in the winter. Since there was no central heat, we had a gas stove in the living room. Even then , it never was warm. I was cold all of the time. Rachel and I were going down memory lane the other day and she said she was always cold too. And you would go to bed and then wake up with cramps from sleeping so waded up trying to stay warm. We had plenty of blankets, but, it was so cold.

When the Twins were born an addition was put onto the back of the house. It added more living space and another bedroom and another gas heater...HURRAY!!

When I moved back home with the boyos that made 11 people and still only 1 bathroom. The house just kept falling apart worse and worse...The roof didn't just leak, it poured and in the hallway, the walls were pulling away from the floor. Then the bathtub started falling out of the house.

It was home.

A few years after Rebekah left for Missouri, and Roger and I got married, Mom and Dad got a new house.

The first Christmas, Rebekah and I snuck back to the old house. It was home. The new house wasn't, we hadn't grown up there.

That old falling apart piece of shit trailer with no doors and one stinkin' bathroom is gone now but, it will always be my home.

What's New PussyCat?

Nothing really exciting has been going on lately. Just hangin' out and going to work.

Dillon is almost finished up with driving school...All I can think about is how much it's going to cost to keep 4 vehicles on the road...With the price of gas and insurance...Shit!

Craig has been doing good..He really is helpful to me since he is driving...He runs Dillon to and fro, does errands, etc.

Roger is Roger and that's really all you can say about that...He took my wedding set and had it repaired for the third time...The prongs broke and I lost the original stone out of it quite a while ago..He had it fixed and a lager stone put in it and I think I wore it for about a month and it broke again and I was sick for having lost the lager stone...So hopefully the third time will be the charm and it won't break again.

Rachel and I will be dancing at Kismet in March...She has choerographed a sword duet for us...It's really cool...I'm just having problems with the Princess Rolls...I'm so out of shape!...I have a loverly bruise too...Those swords are heavier than I realize.

Next week there is going to be a bellydance show in Waxahachie...It's being put on by Julie Webb...There will be a veil workshop too...I signed up for the workshop but I'm not really very stoked about it...I don't know what my deal is lately, I just can't get excited about dancing...I mean, I'm looking forward to Kismet, and hopefully I will get to do Denton Arts and Jazz with the Visionaries and I like going to my class on Saturdays and I've started going to Julie's class at the YMCA on Wednesdays but, I'm just not really excited about it like I used to be...WTF?...No clue...I was kind of let down at my last performance...Diffusion was fun and I liked the piece we did but, it just seemed like there was so much running around, stress, and general mayhem for just getting to dance for like, less than 2 minutes...We danced, killed people, and then it was over...Poof and that was it.

Scarborough is coming up...Hurray!...Sort of...I will get to see friends I only see during the Faire but I will also work 7 days a week for 2 months and be tired and cranky and have to listen to Roger complain about me being tired and cranky...It's such a never ending thing...It's better now that I'm bartending out there instead of the stuff I used to do...Drunks are easier for me to deal with...Maybe because I can relate to them better.

My friend James had surgery today...James is cool...He is a Vietnam Vet...He was a Marine...And his family is from Jamiaca...Everyone seems to think he has Prostate Cancer. He has been sick since before Thanksgiving but never could really get a straight answer from anyone about what is going on with him. He has to use the VA system because the fantastic company we work for doesn't offer medical insurance and everyone knows what it's like to have to deal with the government...Anyway, I'm sure I won't hear anything for a few days...One of the other girls in the office keeps in touch with his sister on a pretty regular basis so, maybe I'll hear sooner.

If you haven't seen "Across The Universe" you need to watch it...It rocks...It is about a group of people during the late 60's...Of course 2 of the main characters are named Jude and Lucy and there's one named Prudence. There is also a guy called Maxwell but, I'm not sure if that is a nod to the Maxwell Silverhammer song or not...There were a couple of parts that really stuck in my brain...The first one was when Prudence was singing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and she was singing to the pretty blonde head cheerleader...Not singing directly to her but, singing it to her from a distance...It was cool...The other part was when Maxwell went for his Army physical becasue he was drafted...The song that was performed was "I Want You"...It was a TOTALLY different take on the song...That song is one of my favorites because it is so sensual and bluesy...I love it...But it takes on a totally different meaning when it is being sung by Uncle Sam to Draftees...Extremely cool.

Roger and I started watching a movie called "Away From Her"...It is about an older couple and the woman develops Alzhiemer's (sp?) and decides she should go live in a home...Warning just from what I have seen it is a half of a box of tissues movie...Very sad but, very touching, especially if you are married or in a long term relationship.

Well, I guess that's about it for now...Need to finish dinner and this damned cheap ass chair I bought for the computer desk is killing my back..That's what I get for not spending the money on the chair I wanted!!!

Parental Faux Pas

WOO HOO! I did it good this time!!

I am a great lover of indie films and documentaries so, of course, I LOVES Netflix...This is where the downfall begins.

I also consider myself a liberal parent when it comes to media i.e.: books, music, TV and the like...I don't censor what the kids read, listen to, and since they are older teens, I don't really pay that much attention to what they watch on TV...Falling farther.

So, I got the movie "Inside Deep Throat" from Netflix. It's a documentary about the moive "Deep Throat". Interviews with all of the key players, etc. Did you know that "Deep Throat" was made on a budget of $25,000.00 and over the years, it has made made $600 MILLION? See...You learn things from movies!...Anyway, Craig and I are wacthing the movie and yes there are some kinda sticky scenes of nudity and people talking about porn....They showed this Grannie...She said "I loved it and I would see it again...I wanted to see a dirty picture and I did...No one has the right to tell me I can't see a dirty picture if I want to see a dirty picture!"...Then ALL OF THE SUDDEN...OUT OF NO FUCKING WHERE...There is Linda Lovelace live and in color on my living room TV...Doing what she made famous...And there I sit with my 17 YEAR OLD SON!!!

I FREAKED!!! AHHH!!!

I couldn't find the remote and I couldn't get off of the couch fast enough to get that damned DVD out of the player....It was worse than when we took them to see "Bad Santa" and whats her name is screaming "Fuck me Santa! Fuck me Santa!"

We watched "Savage Sam" (the sequel to "Old Yeller"...Yes it does exsist..Read the book first) instead.

Yep...Good parental judgement is not one of my strong points!

What's Up Doc?

I skipped work today. Felt REALLY BAD yesterday...Some kind of stomach thing I think...Yukky. Missed Rachel's suprise party, too..BOO!

Roger was in Missouri over the weekend. I cried after dropping him off at the airport. I think I'm having seperation anxiety. I didn't want him to go. I don't want him to go anywhere lately. I mean, I don't have to be up his ass all of the time but, I don't want him to be where I don't know how to get to where he's at. I didn't know how to get to where he was over the weekend and it took a lot for me not to freak. If it hadn't been for my sis Rachel and my Visions and Visionaries gals on Saturday, and my sis Tyke and Sara H. and Jessica on Firday, I would have just cried all weekend I think. WTF? I don't know what the hell is going on with me...I'm afraid of so much stuff...I'm afraid to go where there are going to be lots of people, I'm afraid of the kids going places. Craig driving is a minor freaking point. I think I'm going crazy again. But this time I'm not going to get on anti-depressants. That stuff was a total loss of about 5 years of my life. It was shit. I just wish I could figure it out. I don't know if it's because I'm sort of pissed because Roger is going on his trip in May and will be gone for 3 weeks having fun and I 'm going to be stuck at home taking care of the house and the boyos and everything by myself or if it is because I'm still knd of pissed because I didn't get to go on the Jamacia trip because of the paying for the motorcycle thing...I think I need to get mad and yell about this stuff and I will feel better about it but then Roger will feel bad and I don't want that. BUT, I'm tired of wanting to cry all of the time and being resentful......Resentful + Renee = ugliness. :(

In other news.....

My birthday party is this weekend.
Me and the boyos are going to see Flogging Molly with Sara H.
My birthday is on the 29th (next week...Tuesday, I think)
I danced at Diffusion last Saturday...Lots of fun, even if I didn't like my costume....However, I do have to say that after looking at the pictures, it looked WAY better than I thought it did.....My big butt...Layers of tulle ruffles on my ass...Apron thingie with ruffle and bow in close proximeity (sp?) to my ass...You get the picture... Kind of spooky.
Sis Rachel has choregraphed a sword thing for us and she has started on something for us for Tribal Alchemy...Looking forward to those.
Looking forward to what is coming up with Visionaries although I'm not really sure what exactly that is..It's always fun.

OH...This is funny...Last night Roger and I were talking about Diffusion and what our choreo was and what we did with the box I had made at work..So I was explaining it to him and that we killed Michael and Sarah (another Sarah, not Sara Hatch) in the end...He asks me..Who comes up with this stuff...It's a group effort I say...He says basically that we need help and that he just doesn't understand where all of this comes from...HEE HEE HEE!!!!!

I want to get my hair cut this week..A bob I'm thinking..Not sure though, just nothing too short.

I have decided what I want my next 3 tattoos to be...1) Next year Roger and I will be married 13 years so I want to get a gold horse shoe with a 4 leaf clover inside of it and 2 gold bands entertwined (sp?) above it and at the top I want 2 old skool sparrows holding a banner that says "Lucky 13" and maybe some flowers or filagree to kind of round it out...2) Dillon drew a picture of an oragutan when he was little so I want to get that for him..It's a really neat little crayon drawing with the oragutan holding a leaf over his head..I love it..It's been on the fridge for years...3) I want a pin up girl for Craig...Nothing slutty, just very classic...Maybe the pic of Betty Paige that he has on the shirt he got for Christmas a year of two ago.

Well, I guess that's about it...I think I've covered everything...Family....Paranoid delusions...Dancing...Tattoos...WAIT!..Tales of drunkeness...That will have to wait until AFTER my birthday.

Namaste.