I skipped work today. Felt REALLY BAD yesterday...Some kind of stomach thing I think...Yukky. Missed Rachel's suprise party, too..BOO!

Roger was in Missouri over the weekend. I cried after dropping him off at the airport. I think I'm having seperation anxiety. I didn't want him to go. I don't want him to go anywhere lately. I mean, I don't have to be up his ass all of the time but, I don't want him to be where I don't know how to get to where he's at. I didn't know how to get to where he was over the weekend and it took a lot for me not to freak. If it hadn't been for my sis Rachel and my Visions and Visionaries gals on Saturday, and my sis Tyke and Sara H. and Jessica on Firday, I would have just cried all weekend I think. WTF? I don't know what the hell is going on with me...I'm afraid of so much stuff...I'm afraid to go where there are going to be lots of people, I'm afraid of the kids going places. Craig driving is a minor freaking point. I think I'm going crazy again. But this time I'm not going to get on anti-depressants. That stuff was a total loss of about 5 years of my life. It was shit. I just wish I could figure it out. I don't know if it's because I'm sort of pissed because Roger is going on his trip in May and will be gone for 3 weeks having fun and I 'm going to be stuck at home taking care of the house and the boyos and everything by myself or if it is because I'm still knd of pissed because I didn't get to go on the Jamacia trip because of the paying for the motorcycle thing...I think I need to get mad and yell about this stuff and I will feel better about it but then Roger will feel bad and I don't want that. BUT, I'm tired of wanting to cry all of the time and being resentful......Resentful + Renee = ugliness. :(

In other news.....

My birthday party is this weekend.
Me and the boyos are going to see Flogging Molly with Sara H.
My birthday is on the 29th (next week...Tuesday, I think)
I danced at Diffusion last Saturday...Lots of fun, even if I didn't like my costume....However, I do have to say that after looking at the pictures, it looked WAY better than I thought it did.....My big butt...Layers of tulle ruffles on my ass...Apron thingie with ruffle and bow in close proximeity (sp?) to my ass...You get the picture... Kind of spooky.
Sis Rachel has choregraphed a sword thing for us and she has started on something for us for Tribal Alchemy...Looking forward to those.
Looking forward to what is coming up with Visionaries although I'm not really sure what exactly that is..It's always fun.

OH...This is funny...Last night Roger and I were talking about Diffusion and what our choreo was and what we did with the box I had made at work..So I was explaining it to him and that we killed Michael and Sarah (another Sarah, not Sara Hatch) in the end...He asks me..Who comes up with this stuff...It's a group effort I say...He says basically that we need help and that he just doesn't understand where all of this comes from...HEE HEE HEE!!!!!

I want to get my hair cut this week..A bob I'm thinking..Not sure though, just nothing too short.

I have decided what I want my next 3 tattoos to be...1) Next year Roger and I will be married 13 years so I want to get a gold horse shoe with a 4 leaf clover inside of it and 2 gold bands entertwined (sp?) above it and at the top I want 2 old skool sparrows holding a banner that says "Lucky 13" and maybe some flowers or filagree to kind of round it out...2) Dillon drew a picture of an oragutan when he was little so I want to get that for him..It's a really neat little crayon drawing with the oragutan holding a leaf over his head..I love it..It's been on the fridge for years...3) I want a pin up girl for Craig...Nothing slutty, just very classic...Maybe the pic of Betty Paige that he has on the shirt he got for Christmas a year of two ago.

Well, I guess that's about it...I think I've covered everything...Family....Paranoid delusions...Dancing...Tattoos...WAIT!..Tales of drunkeness...That will have to wait until AFTER my birthday.

Namaste.