I'm pregnant now,
About 2 1/2 months.
Mostly I've been paying attention to my stomach
and the nausea and vomiting
that happens almost everyday.

And the plague of heartburn
has distracted me from the
fact of the matter
that I'm growing a little life.

I hardly notice the miracle
when all I feel is sick.

But my belly is undeniably bigger,
harder and firm.
And my pants are all too tight,
low around my hips,
belly sticking out.

And growing Little Buns
reminds me of my mortality.
All this being sick
makes me think of death
and how sick I may be at the End.

And how I'm creating another little life
that will also one day be sick and one day die.

And yet I'm so attached to this little one
that I can't even dream of making it
End or go away.