joined on 05/10/07
last updated 07/07/08
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Saucy.
Sassy.
A classy kind of fantasy,
Our distorted reality
Warped and bent.
Our words create meaning
And imagery,
And all that they've meant.
Creative metaphors,
Shouting out to me.
Never been here before--
This place you've brought me.
Mastery of ambiguity.
You've opened the door.
To Music.
And Similes.
Tapestry of language
Let's use it!
And we've corresponded so happily,
I'm delighted I met you this way!
Mermaids, serenades,
Salty oceans flooding!
Sailors drowning in waves,
Boats hitting bottom, thudding!
Lost!
And I've been so jaded,
Unconcious!
But look what we've created!
You saved me!
You thought you couldn't!
That I'd drown under sea!
Smothered, crushed, and swallowed.
But I didn't allow it. I wouldn't.
The ocean we swim is sacred, hallowed.
And when you grabbed me by my neck
I was so disenchanted,
In life, love, liberty,
My life was a wreck!
Like my ship-- uncertainty--
splintered, uncentered,
no longer commanded.
You've freed a new channel in me.
My new ship to navigate,
My soul to follow, opened and free.
I should have taken that bet.
Now look at me.
I'm still alive.
So are you.
And we're both all wet!
Pheww!
So, you see where we've been?
I hope we're not done.
Let's do it again!
Lil' country store
Almost every day,
Lil' blond haired girl works,
Seemingly at play.
An oatmeal bar,
Juices, teas or cold chocolate coffees.
Filling my car
Eating those nice little toffees.
Often she smiles, and just says, "Hi!"
Or, "How is your day?"
Then I think awhile, on how to reply,
"Mine is fine. Is yours ok?"
Conversation dies,
I'm out the door.
I'm on my way.
But those single encounters,
Moments between,
Moments unseen,
Connection—
When our voices grow silent and flounder—
Absence of inflection.
Avoidance— sometimes.
But there's a flood of emotions
Of another kind.
Forces of oceans,
Waxing and waning internally in time.
Eternally sublime.
Emotions subdued,
Like she has something to hide,
But I see right through.
I see inside.
Her Heart.
When it skips,
Stops,
And Starts.
Like mine.
And her face flushes
Ten shades of pink
When she blushes
And I can’t think
As my blood rushes.
Ponderence.
Of her.
Yes, I've certainly noticed it often.
Correspondence
Blurred.
Stifled, but softened.
There's a level much deeper,
Where meaning is cut-off,
A little unclear
Ambiguous
But not quite lost.
Her world is spontaneous,
But not carefree,
Wonderment and creativeness
Beneath her surface,
Her personality.
Different gears of thinking;
Multiple levels linking;
Interpreting situations,
People and relations,
Relationships;
Interconnections;
Picking up meanings and little quips.
Voice inflections;
Changing “what is” for “what could be”
In her world of infinite possibilities.
Noticing what's not said--
Seemingly submerging across multiple contexts.
Meanings emerging across different threads,
Bewildered, bewitched! I am vexed!
Earrings, nose rings,
Cute little piercings,
And her knowledge of jewelry--
Silver, sterling.
A nice lil' tattoo
On the back of her neck.
Red, green, purple or blue
Hair covering a cute lil' wreck.
But I am a mystery.
An enigma she can't quite finger.
Transparent, walled off-- slight.
And her wonderment lingers.
Silent, but loud,
Subtle and light
I am proud.
Invisible.
But plain in sight.
Her gears steadily spinning,
Her eyes constantly wondering,
Searching her proximity,
Searching for warning.
As if she is valuing;
Considering importance and worth;
Looking for incongruity;
Evaluating her lifeblood and mirth.
Searching for clues,
You know, the truths on which it's based?
Clarifying her values;
Achieving accord from a deeper place.
Significance.
What's worth standing up for?
What's first, what's last? Is there a
Difference anymore?
And here's the conundrum:
She communicates in full view,
Seeking security in numbers.
She performs quite cool,
For all her world to see,
But time never slumbers,
And her stacked house--
It works against me.
Communication is bound.
It is not free.
Familiarity...
She surrounds around
Those people she trusts;
Familiar smiling faces,
Social graces,
Full of do's, don'ts and musts.
I'm locked out.
Banished.
Blocked.
Full of doubt.
Except for these chance encounters...
Locking eyes, wondering minds,
Throwing her off from time to time.
And what is our Destiny?
Is this how it is for me?
For her? This girl.
Spinning around in a wheel of life
In this world?
Troubled with multiple strifes
Locked in?
Wondering when it might be?
When it will come to pass?
Where she's been,
When she might be free?
Or will it end?
Classy, saucy, sassy ENFP,
Would you like to make out with me?
Hey!!!
I'm an INTJ!
I like to THINK about making out!!!
In VERY creative ways,
Without a doubt!
Colon, lil' oh, backslash :o\
Were we mixed to match?
Am I the question?
You're the exclamation!
And together?!
How exciting!!!???
How Inviting???!!!
Perpetual mysteries forever?
Never!
Answers short lived,
We're very clever together!?
Question again,
Answer another.
But...
If we missed your period,
You know, crossed that brink?
What would our children think?!
And, my God, Dami,
What would they BE?!
Splish-splashed commi's,
Periods, colons, hyphens,
Or perhaps an ellipses...?
Semi-colons;
You know, half-and-half?
Like our sentence was stolen,
Jacked, cracked and broken
By a kind of grammatical craft?
Periods. commas, points of exclamation!
(Oh wow, just like their mother!)
Or hyphens-- you know, two times the dashes-
Or points of question?
(Just like me? oh brother...)
Or forwards and backwards slashes-
Twins!
Emotional orders on painted backdropped borders!?
Perhaps!
Is this how we begin?
Or do we let it end?
(Relax, I'm just havin' fun with you)
Smile, stay awhile,
Take off your shoes.
And have some fun with me!
Nothing hurting in a little flirting,
Its just me.
Semi-colon, little oh, P.
;oP
You've been so sweet and kind,
forgiving and blind.
Emails 84 times!
And you're smiling back at me!
Without a care.
I see you, there--
Colon, parenthesee!
:)
*wince*
And I am so sorry, AJ
That I spammed you that way!
I feel ashamed-- quite silly, really--
Like I've been named.
I've been caught, and shamed.
My hand is in the cookie jar
Stuck!
And I'm so embarrassed
That the lil' red-haired girl saw.
Fuck!
I just can't learn my lesson!
She just walked up behind,
A sly smile on her face.
Charlie Brown's cheeks flushed,
Neck hot-- it makes my heart race!
*Blush*
*Pop*
'Coz I got that feeling-- anxious.
You know the one that starts there,
My button at mid-belly?
And it goes through to the top of my chest,
Vulnerability...
Now I am wondering, pondering and blinking,
"*Really*, what is she thinking?"
Oh what a mess!
Red-haired/brown-haired Kitty Kat dressed
In exotic costumes she's mixed and matched best!
One by one,
Answer by answer,
Question by question
Through her match me test!
My feelings arouse,
Quite a mixed blessing?!
If she's the Kat,
Am I the mouse?!
Who's mind is she messing?
Who's feelings are phasing?
Who's heart is she blazing?
It must be mine...
Omg... Amazing.
Email me soon!
I'm Kitty Kat crazy,
And I'll be waiting.
PS.
Sorry for the rhyme,
You know, the meter in this letter.
I'm a little expressive, obsessive,
Obsessed.
But never possessive.
Write me when you have time,
And I hope you feel better.
(It's corny, I know,
Like it's crazy and made...
Like it's all for show.
But I just let it all fade...
And then it all flows...)
(Laughing) No! It was her thyme!
Her soul that stole and riddled my rhyme.
Mushrooms crying, sauce pans frying,
Silent, squeaking little lips kissing while lying
On her sunny side, in time for her worst
Crime of course, It hurts!
She thinks I think I found her first.
That that's how she works.
Magic by night, she tries... and strikes!
While I parry, she fights!
Swallowed knives, Golden black stares
Me looking silly in my underwear.
Yellow Cosmic Seed
Struggles looking for merit.
Her spells bewitching my heart
Imparting direction
From her silver-purple aura.
Her spirit.
From Hell, or from Heaven?
His White Wizard Magic,
Her Leo in Venus,
LiGhTeNiNg BoLtS ecstatic!!
I try for her heart!
Signature.
Galactic!
Star signs skewed,
Parties in palm trees,
Colors hued.
What's it all mean?
What is she?
Birth charts, sacred arts,
A witch's dream,
Astrological anomaly.
Her seeming disgrace,
A fall from grace,
A sacrilegious fall
Her prestigious call
To hold it all
To touch a small place,
Of her beauty within,
God's face.
How she shines,
She's silk
And lace.
It's her time.
She thinks she's cursed!
That she's the first?
A scripted game!
Grinning her game,
Robbing blind, Stealing time,
White Wizard, Self-Existing
St-st-stum-bl-ing, or feining?
Yellow Seed.
She's in need.
Tries to rise above it all,
Above the law,
Of sacred needs, hidden keys,
She's nature's flaw.
Nature's matter.
An enigma.
A self-sustaining battle.
Growing, growing, growing...
Hidden shadows.
Secrets below.
Pirates, thieves, sacred trees
of Oak, I already know.
Life ain't Broke-
en.
Again.
Gypsies, thieves, and clever deeds,
Split the oak, shed its' leaves.
Yellow Seed Gypsy mirth and grit,
Did she curse it?
Was it worth it?
Donkey burst it!
Overzealous, Green-eyed Monster threw her fit!
Twist it! Use it! Quit it! Curse it!
(But she's not the monster she thinks she is...
She's beauty)
Reverse it!
Never Quit 'till I've unearthed it
Captured her heart
Rhymed her Riddle,
Music laid, prices paid,
On her Golden Fiddle,
Her Violin.
Her stringed harp of hearts
Stealing my soul
Growing old
And we begin
Again.
Two strong souls.
Young, but old.
One Woman.
One Man.
about me
I am an emotionally well rounded southern gentleman who enjoys being pulled out of my absorbed activities to go on new and spontaneous adventures. Very logical and rational, but with sharp wit and a highly developed feeling capacity for others. I enjoy periodic spirited debate and discussion on a wide range and depth of topics, academic or otherwise, but in a tolerant and non-confrontational way. I LOVE to laugh, and I do so much enjoy regular social interaction and sophisticated social graces, but I also require some solitude to recharge my batteries and pursue my special interests. My anima is intuitive, bubbly, fun, and able to maintain a wide array of social contacts, but also able to get beneath the surface of a person or situation pretty quickly. She loves life and people. Somewhat independant, but more important to have a mature and developed sense of emotional honesty. She is an idealist who wants to move mountains, not for the sake of moving them, but for the adventures along the way and the lives we change. Artistic ability and expression is all the better. Her excitement is contagious, and she exhibits an almost childlike enthusiasm and excitement over her interests, which are many. She loves to try new things, and enjoys bringing me out of my shell to participate. She is intelligent, and able to get beneath the surface of a situation quickly, but she is also able to be silly and fun on a regular basis. She is a deeply feeling person capable of empathy for others, and she has the capacity to give her WHOLE heart in a relationship, and she knows what to do when she receives it back. Her emotion allows her the capacity to be hurt, but she exhibits no fear in seeking that significant other. She understands the payoff, what it takes to produce a healthy relationship, and how to protect it. She is not afraid of loving someone deeply, and this enables her to be loved deeply. She is not afraid of being with someone who takes (very) calculated financial risk, and is willing to roll with punches life gives for better or worse. Wants to experience life and be part of something bigger than herself.
Questions I am curious about:
1. Deep down, everyone wants to be loved, but almost no one thinks that it really exists. Why is it that people ruin what could be by trying to play head/heart games? And most are not even good at it?
2. (a) What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone else? (b) How did they react? (c) How did you feel about their reaction? (d) Would you do it again? (e) If you did it again, or something similar, what would you do differently?
3. (a) If you had to make a choice between loving someone completely, but having to deal with anxiety about how your bills would be paid the next month, and loving someone in a content kind of way, but having a steady stream of income, which would you choose? (b) Why?
4. (a) True or False: All is fair in Love and War. (b) Elaborate.
5. (a) How do you "create" romance? (b) Do you distinguish this as seperate from love, or connected in some way?
6. (a) In issues of love and friendship, which do you follow more, your head or your heart? (b) if you follow your head more, has there been a time where your heart just did what it wanted anyway? How did it turn out? (c) if you follow your heart more, has there been a time where your head had to overrule your heart for your own well-being? How did it turn out?
7. (a) What is the difference between Passionate love and Compassionate love? (b) Which do you want? (c) Why? (d) How do you/would create one or the other (or both) with your partner?
8. What color is the rain? (a metaphor, be imaginative. I am looking for depth)
9. What color is happiness?
MY ANSWERS
Questions you may answer to start a conversation with me:
1. Deep down, everyone wants to be loved, but almost no one thinks that it really exists. Why is it that people ruin what could be by trying to play head/heart games? And most are not even good at it?
Love is a give and take concept. This breaks down into four subcatagories. "Giving" yourself to others, "Taking" of yourself by others, "Giving" from others to you (or receiving), and you "Taking" from others. Early in our lives, we get really good at the "giving from others" part, as love from our parents and siblings is as near unconditional as it can get. Some of the more agressive types may learn the "taking from others" part as well. However, it is not until most of us get older and have matured through adolescence that we learn how to "give ourself to others", as we may have learned a small part of this during adolescence when sexual desire is new and very high. The real giving goes far beyond that, though, as sacrifice of our time and wants to another human being. Love is both selfish and selfless at the same time.
I think most people are good at the "receiving from others part", but few are good at the "giving yourself to others" part. We all want, but not very many know how to give. To a smaller degree, some don't know how to allow themselves to be "taken by others", or how to "take from others" in a just way.
Trust is placed with difficulty, and destroyed with ease. It really takes two people who are willing to *risk* being hurt (over and over), and who have mastered at least the giving and receiving parts to make it work and develop a relationship. It takes mastering the "taking" and "being taken" to sustain a relationship over a long time.
The games come from trying to reduce our risk (of being hurt or of having to give part of ourselves) while trying to maximize our reward (obtaining someone who we think is perfect for us-- even beyond our own delusions of how we measure up, or by trying to measure up by concealing who we are).
Most are not "good at it" because if they understand the art, they don't understand the rules, and if they understand the rules, they don't understand the art. The rules are not spoken. They go unsaid. The art is what works in the eye of the beholder, but also it must work for you. There is a fundamental flow of respect and admiration for those we deam as our equals, and those who we can balance ourselves against as we dance though life in the many harmonies of it's many tunes.
2. (a) What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone else? (b) How did they react? (c) How did you feel about their reaction? (d) Would you do it again? (e) If you did it again, or something similar, what would you do differently?
(a) I have done may selfish things. I have also done some selfless ones. The most selfless has been to suffer physically and emotionally while supporting a family.
(b) They do not want me. They do not appreciate me. They have no knowledge of my sacrifice.
(c) I feel angry. I feel cheated.
(d) Yes. I would give myself completely and freely again.
(e) I would do it differently. I would choose a different personality partner. One that I compliment, and one who loves life. I would "take" when I needed to. I would voice my concerns loudly when I believe I should, or more gently when I think I should. I still would not dominate forcefully, but I would be heard, understood and respected. I would behave less selfishly is some ways, or more selfishly in other ways, even while acting more selflessly over all.
3. (a) If you had to make a choice between loving someone completely, but having to deal with anxiety about how your bills would be paid the next month, and loving someone in a content kind of way, but having a steady stream of income, which would you choose? (b) Why?
I want to love someone completely. Life is too short. In the end, nothing is certain anyway. Love her completely, love her deeply, love her now.
4. (a) True or False: All is fair in Love and War. (b) Elaborate.
False. All is not fair in love or war, but it is what it is. And seldom is ANY of it fair. Fair is a rational concept. Love and War are both passionate concepts, which are derived primarily from the feeling functions, which are not rational. I would take, without remorse, in Love or War if pushed to do so for my own passionate happiness or well being or physical survival. It would not be a first resort. My first resort is more compassionate, and rational. It would be a last resort. But I would do it, and it may not be fair.
It wouldn't be without my own personal ethics, either. I will not cheat. I will not throw away a relationship for no reason. But if it isn't working , then yes, I will move on and people will be hurt. Maybe even myself.
5. (a) How do you "create" romance? (b) Do you distinguish this as seperate from love, or connected in some way?
(a) There are three skillsets involved in relationships. Romance is a special skillset, and has a role in (i) initiating relationships and (ii) enhancing relationships. The skillsets it takes to create romance will NOT develop a relationship, nor will it sustain one by itself. Romance involves the cat and mouse games of reading between the lines for subtle cues, and responding likewise by creating the sublte cues. The chemistry is created by understanding what your partner responds to, and what their signals look like. The skill involves tuning your feelings to that of your partner, learning to rapidly read their subtle signals, and respond with what they perceive as subtle cues from you. We expose only general and need to know information to elevate the feelings to the next level, of which their are many, and what is left unsaid (negative space) is left to the imagination of the receiver. A receiver with a strong imagination will elevate quickly. Ability to transmit and receive is necessary.
(b) Romance is seperate from love. But it can also be an initiation into it (fun!), and an extension of it (makes life worth living!.. Like spicey food!)
6. (a) In issues of love and friendship, which do you follow more, your head or your heart? (b) if you follow your head more, has there been a time where your heart just did what it wanted anyway? How did it turn out? (c) if you follow your heart more, has there been a time where your head had to overrule your heart for your own well-being? How did it turn out?
(a) I leap with my heart, and steer with my head. It is difficult for me to admit, but it is true.
(b) Yes. It was the best relationship of my life. I was 16.
(c) I do not follow my heart more than my head, but I have had to "overrule" my heart with my head before for my own well being.
7. (a) What is the difference between Passionate love and Compassionate love? (b) Which do you want? (c) Why? (d) How would you create one or the other (or both) with me?
Passionate love is selfish. It is "me taking from her" (and her from me) as well as "me receiving from her" (and her from me). It is making love and devouring each other under the veranda of a hotel room 5 feet from my sleeping uncle because we cannot "wait" another 4 weeks to see each other... it is having your feelings hurt and being jealous of another, so that you try to make yourself a better person. It is trying to impress her and win her over, and not being able to contain yourself or your feelings while they spill out all over her... and she doesn't care because she wants you just as badly.
Compassionate love is selfless. It is "giving myself to her" as well as "allowing myself to be taken by her". It is "stirring the oatmeal" type of love. Doing what needs to be done every day. holding her hand when when she is afraid. Listening when i don't want to. Doing the dishes so she can go out with her friends. Not saying anything when she wants to spend our money on a new car for herself because she needs one, and because she had enough respect for me to mention it.
8. What color is the rain? (a metaphor, be imaginative. I am looking for depth)
My rain is bourbon by blood between bullets and sand, lavender like little soldiers leaning strong, blue by babies burdoned before birth, but beautiful white while cleansing clear our air we breathe between.
9. What color is happiness?
Happiness is a rainbow of colors, a variety that prints against itself it's own relief and change. It is cyclic, and contains the saddness necessary so that we appreciate the good, but no more saddness than necessary, and not so much happiness that we take if for granted. The dark colors that accentuate the vibrant ones, so that we KNOW they are there. 75% vibrant colors, and 25% dark ones are a good mix... lest we forget.
My intention is to strengthen the soul,
To less than feeling-- old.
Then wait and see
What the world brings to thee.
Make the right decision
Without feeling, without remorse, no hesitation...
But with deep adorning wisdom.
Disassociation?
No, this is realization,
Means for survival,
Means for creation.
Because your life awaits on a foreign shore,
The lessons you've learned in your previous life
Now able to rise a phoenix, ashes and more.
What you had is lost, but not gone,
Only found by someone else,
while you carry on.
And why do you reminisce?
When you should tilt and push farther?
Fight harder!
We cannot lose what we let go
While reaching for a better weapon!
And family trees are so overated.
Storied fables,
Dressed up papers,
Marigold shades of messes.
Mom and Pop never dated!
So you see,
Nothings wrong with you,
With thee,
Please don't feel alone,
You have a home,
Your just as screwed up
As them and me!
And we're real fucking glad to have you here!
In a world so mean, so crazy with dispair,
You've created fucking christmas cheer!
You've cleared the air!
And I believe in you.
Me.
The crazy one by the door.
Waiting for you to go,
So I can catch you, pull you back in,
I want to dance with you some more.
And what did those echoes say?
I didn't hear, let them fade.
That feeling in the marrow of your bones?
That's me! Standing before you.
A little boy, asking a little girl to play!
My understanding of the seduction that takes place between ENFP and INTJ is that our 1st and 5th processes are inverted. The significance is that the INTJ 1st process, intorverted iNtuition, is the first shadow process of the ENFP, and the 1st process of ENFP, extraverted iNtuition, is the first shadow process of the INTJ. Supposedly this seduction will also be able to take place between INTJ and ENTP. I don't think the seduction is guaranteed in either of these cases. Only that the probabili...
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Sun, June 3, 2007 - 12:24 AM
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Eros & Psyche "First Kiss"
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Re: INTJs and people testing
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Re: INTJs and people testing
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>I absolutely appreciate your observation, Wyatt. I fully understand your reticence around my level of self-disclosure, and I can see why that would be distressful to you (definitely an INFJ/INTJ difference). Rest assured there is *nothing* I say ...
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Hmm... I have no shame. I lost all sense of it a long time ago...
discussion post on Sun, November 15, 2009 - 10:22 AM
Enneagram Type 5 "Investigator"
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